People need to help each other-not argue.
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I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.
Completely agree.0 -
That person may have been blunt, but they were also correct. You really can't put on 5 lbs of muscle in 3 days. They didn't call you names or anything, they just said "that's wrong, it can't happen". How do you think should someone correct mis-information, other than that?
That is different than arguing about whether someone should eat their exercise calories or go with a tdee-based cut or eat once a day or eat six times a day or cut down on carbs or many of the other squabbles. For that kind of stuff, there really are different strokes for different folks, and "whatever makes you stick to your eating plan" is a huge part.0 -
Also like life a sense of humor dosed with humility goes a long way.0
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I've noticed that people take differing opinions as arguing/rude/mean spirited. I think the better advice is to take everything with a grain of salt and toughen up. The mods take care of the really bad posts when they rile enough feathers. I'd rather read a lively discussion with dissenting opinions than a whole bunch of people saying "Yeah, that's great! Good job! Good luck! Hope it works for you!"
One can bring new ideas and challenge possibly bad information. The other is just a bunch of hugging and useless garbage.
Well said, ITA.0 -
Respectful discussion and disagreement is healthy and productive and people learn from it. Unfortunately, there are a few people, online and in real life, we've all met them, who, when they choose to correct or disagree, like to use sarcasm and condescension, which adds nothing productive and is not conducive to a good discussion. It then results in people getting defensive. That's where the problem is.
"Forget it, Jake, it's Internet Town."0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.
Completely agree.
“We find comfort among those who agree with us-- growth among those who don't.” Frank A Clark0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
haha okay then well; as previously written i have apologised as i didnt read that post thoroughly enough obviously.
so are you trying to judge a book by its cover and say i dont know anything about weight-loss also? that isnt intended as rude i just would like to know.
Could you point me to the place where BeachGinger said you don't know anything about weight loss? Thanks.0 -
You've contradicted yourself with your own words a number of times in this thread alone.
You've said no one is an expert, everyone's different (common misconception) and we should all support each other. You've also said this place has a bunch of bad information and you've been at this so long that you know what works (you joined MFP this month).
From the looks of things you gave bad advice in a thread and someone pointed it out. That's generally why people start these threads.
Sorry. I know it stings and it's not a fun feeling. But it's a wonderful chance for you to learn something. That will serve you better than telling everyone else how to behave.
Take a breath and step away from the computer for a minute. This does not have to be a big dea.
ok. firstly, i started tracking calories about two months ago with mfp-but this doesnt mean i havent been exercising and doing hiit for a while. so please dont try and say i dont know anything. thankyou for your advice.
You said no one here knows anything. So which is it? A website full of people who've lost weight using MFP for years don't know anything, or you do because you've been at it for a few months?
You're coming off like a hurt child. Just step away for a minute and you'll see you're taking this far too personally. You'll laugh about it later.0 -
Arguing/debating points on forums IS helping people. By virtue of the debating, each side has a chance to present its case....
...And perceiving blunt truth as rudeness is a weakness on your part. I recommend lifting to bulk up your skin.
Yup ^^.0 -
I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.
Completely agree.
“We find comfort among those who agree with us-- growth among those who don't.” Frank A Clark
It can't be better said than that. Thank you for this quote, it's going in my permanent memory now.0 -
This is, by far, one of the tamest forums I know of.............and consistently has the highest level of offended people. :Mind-Blown:0
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I don't mind being told I'm wrong. When I am wrong and learn something, that is a net gain for knowledge.
When someone tells another person that the reason the scale hasn't moved when they're supposedly eating at a deficit is because they've gained muscle, then that's misinformation that should be corrected. When another person tells someone that they can't eat potatoes, pasta, or fruit, then that should also be corrected. People who are new to weight loss read things online or bring a lot of pre-conceived notions to the process that aren't going to help them. People who have lost the weight and are maintaining are great sources of information.
If someone is rude for the sake of being rude, that is a different issue. Those people usually don't last long.
I feel the bolded part is incredibly important. Sometimes people are so stuck on their own opinions that they simply cannot be swayed despite evidence to the contrary. It can be an ego breaker, but I appreciate it when people call me out and prove me wrong, because I learned something and gained both knowledge and wisdom.
Completely agree.
“We find comfort among those who agree with us-- growth among those who don't.” Frank A Clark
It can't be better said than that. Thank you for this quote, it's going in my permanent memory now.
I liked it a lot also. Good quote. I may steal it.0 -
Arguing/debating points on forums IS helping people. By virtue of the debating, each side has a chance to present its case. I like to call that Pushing The BS Button. If you call attention to someone who makes a claim and cannot back it up with facts, they are BS'ing. Nutrition, especially, is rife with misinformation and partial anecdotal evidence. You may hear someone say that they know someone who lost x amount of pounds doing y, but fail to include all of the circumstances around it and if they were able to maintain that weightloss.
It is important to debate these points so that newer people have access to REAL information without having to wade through a sea of nonsense. And perceiving blunt truth as rudeness is a weakness on your part. I recommend lifting to bulk up your skin.
This.
OP, it's easy to get your feelings hurt when you're corrected, but it's not personal and after reading the exchange you are upset about I don't think there was any rudeness at all.
(I don't know if this^^ is always true, but it is in this case)0 -
You're coming off like a hurt child. Just step away for a minute and you'll see you're taking this far too personally. You'll laugh about it later.
She's a teenager. Take that into consideration.
OP: Please listen to some of these people here, even if they come off as rude. You may learn something from their successes and failures. You're young and there's no way you know as much as some of the people who have had decades of life experience over you.0 -
Thanks for your debating, people. A few good points have been raised here. A lot of prejudice/judgement going on about my age/how much i know. Of course i dont have years of weight loss experience, i know that.
There are a lot of conflicting views about everything, i dont really know who to believe about what.
Sorry as i seemed to upset some people, i just dont see the point in arguing; i only ask for advice.0 -
But i do have experience; it may only be a few years compared to decades-but at least dont judge a book by its cover.0
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Thanks for your debating, people. A few good points have been raised here. A lot of prejudice/judgement going on about my age/how much i know. Of course i dont have years of weight loss experience, i know that.
There are a lot of conflicting views about everything, i dont really know who to believe about what.
Sorry as i seemed to upset some people, i just dont see the point in arguing; i only ask for advice.
You're not going to get any flack here for asking for advice. What will get you into trouble though is giving advice based on "facts" that aren't supported by science. There's a difference between saying "I find that eating more often helps me" and saying "you have to eat every 2 hours to boost your metabolism" for example. The former is fine, the latter will be corrected because it isn't true.0 -
I agree. I see a lot of anger on these posts...
But, I will say, some people are just trying to help you out, not trying to "bring you down".0 -
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I am being forced to listen to the Mumford brothers over the public music system for the 3rd time in less than 7 hours while I am at work.
It's enough to make anyone touchy, sarcastic and snippy.
Just sayin'0 -
I'm just saying now as I have noticed over the past few weeks just reading the posts that some people just want to shoot you down and make you feel so bad about having different views to diet and exercise!!
ONE solution doesn't work for EVERY person.
This site is for people to help each other, share ideas, don't tell me I'm wrong. Thanks
I wish I could requote that 100 times - one will have to do 0 -
Screw you!!! just kidding:) agreed!!0
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I'm glad you have the guts to say this! I agree with you. :drinker:0
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That's fine, but who knows who has the wrong information and who doesn't? its just silly bickering, I joined this site so I would be able to have support from other people and help others, now i think i might just leave the topics altogether.
Actually, there are a lot of knowledgeable people here and there's a lot of correct information out there...it's pretty easy to discern fact from fiction IMHO, but then again, I like to do a lot of research. Most of the "arguing" you see is people who are knowledgeable trying to dispel miss-information.
When it comes down to it, this is just very simple math and science. When you understand that, it becomes very easy to recognize BS and bro-science for what it is.
^ Yup!0 -
I agree. I see a lot of anger on these posts...
But, I will say, some people are just trying to help you out, not trying to "bring you down".
I don't know about the "anger" part. What I find interesting is how people read "tone" into internet message board replies. People create the message in their head, and if they believe a person is "attacking" them in any sort of way, then they read it in a nasty "tone" in their head.
The only time I see real anger, is when people start to throw around actual insults against others. Which does happen from time to time, but is usually precluded by people reading a "tone" into a message that quite honestly could be completely and totally not there.0
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