Running Observation

2

Replies

  • deluxmary2000
    deluxmary2000 Posts: 981 Member
    I'm embarrassed to admit that there was a super hot (shirtless) guy running past my car the other day (I was stopped at a light). And I gave my best "How YOU doin'?" Joey Tribiani impersonation, thinking there's no way he would hear me. Well my window was down, and he heard me and waved.
    I hope he doesn't alter his running route because of me or report me for drug trafficking :(
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,744 Member
    Some people just feel the need to voice their opinions or whatever thoughts are in their head at the time whether necessary or not. Most of the time, they should just be kept to themselves.

    Not exactly the same, but I've always been a walker (never could run or jog due to a neck issue) so when I lived in a semi-rural area in my early 20's I'd walk around my neighborhood but had to use the shoulder of the road because there were no sidewalks. I had several people around my age stop on the road and ask me if I needed a ride somewhere. ??? Um, no, I'm walking for my health.
  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    I'm embarrassed to admit that there was a super hot (shirtless) guy running past my car the other day (I was stopped at a light). And I gave my best "How YOU doin'?" Joey Tribiani impersonation, thinking there's no way he would hear me. Well my window was down, and he heard me and waved.
    I hope he doesn't alter his running route because of me or report me for drug trafficking :(

    I've hubba-hubba'ed a few guys in my day. eff em- they do it to us. Take your shirt off running in public is like running in a sports bra- it's going to get some looks. I know better than to take my shirt off and run in certain areas- some areas are better than others... take a gamble when you do that.

    and yes- How YOU Doinnnaaannnnnnn...

    (pictures next time damnit!!!)
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.
  • Maybe I just watch too much Law and Order and Stalker and CSI lol. My mom doesn't help as she's constantly talking about how she hates that I run alone etc etc. Unfortunately I don't have a running buddy who is consistent and I refuse to do all my running on a treadmill, especially my longer distances.

    I think in my head if they didn't make any comments I could run by invisible and move on with my life. Making comments means they can see me. I don't know. Maybe i should try to think of it as a compliment, as rude as it is and just move on from it.

    HAHA. I understand this! I watch Way to much Criminal Minds so I am constantly changing my route (granted I let my husband know which route I am taking if going alone). Unfortunately we have no control over jerks in our area. So long as they keep their distance I wouldn't worry. However if I saw the same guys a more than a few times I would think about changing routes. I don't get catcalls... usually I am jogging with a stroller... I guess mom's aren't that cool. LOL.

  • JoRocka
    JoRocka Posts: 17,525 Member
    Maybe I just watch too much Law and Order and Stalker and CSI lol. My mom doesn't help as she's constantly talking about how she hates that I run alone etc etc. Unfortunately I don't have a running buddy who is consistent and I refuse to do all my running on a treadmill, especially my longer distances.

    I think in my head if they didn't make any comments I could run by invisible and move on with my life. Making comments means they can see me. I don't know. Maybe i should try to think of it as a compliment, as rude as it is and just move on from it.

    HAHA. I understand this! I watch Way to much Criminal Minds so I am constantly changing my route (granted I let my husband know which route I am taking if going alone). Unfortunately we have no control over jerks in our area. So long as they keep their distance I wouldn't worry. However if I saw the same guys a more than a few times I would think about changing routes. I don't get catcalls... usually I am jogging with a stroller... I guess mom's aren't that cool. LOL.
    lol
    I measure how fast I work on projects by how many episodes of Criminal Minds I watch.

    I made a beaded headband in about 4-5 episodes of Criminal Minds- <3 me some Derrick Morgan.
  • Lalalindaloo
    Lalalindaloo Posts: 204 Member
    My run route (which is always the same and terribly predictable) takes me by this house of about 5 twenty-something guys who , when I started running by there, would say things. Not precisely catcalling, but being smartalecks. I continued the route for a good 6 months, occasionally flipping them off if I was particularly bothered. Slowly, it turned into just speaking or actually giving encouragement and I started to like them.

    A couple of weeks ago, I was running just after dark (unusual for me) and realized there was a truck creeping along behind me. I totally freaked out and turned around to confront whatever creeper it was. It was two of the guys. They saw me running after dark and got worried so they were making sure no one else bothered me.

    Not the OP's situation I know, but I'm glad I didn't vary my running route. They also tried to tell me that if I feel I HAVE to run after dark, I can borrow their dog. LOL.
  • veganbettie
    veganbettie Posts: 701 Member
    ^ Aw that's so nice. the dog part. lol
  • Edie30
    Edie30 Posts: 216
    I love the dog part :-)
  • Pinkranger626
    Pinkranger626 Posts: 460 Member
    That is great lalalindaloo!! The one guy that I've talked to before has never been offensive so he doesn't bother me. I'd have to stop running by his house if I didn't want to see him. I think it weirded me out because all three were so close together (I'm talking within 1/4th of a mile of each other).
  • Lalalindaloo
    Lalalindaloo Posts: 204 Member
    ^ Aw that's so nice. the dog part. lol

    The best part is that also along my route, there is a giant poodle that tries to lunge through his invisible fence to eat me and I get nerved out every time he is outside. Their dog is a 50-ish lb pile of wiggly, cuddly, kissy Pitbull named Luna. She makes me feel better every time I see her, but I don't know how much protection she would be unless she drowned an assailant in drool.
  • lmr0528
    lmr0528 Posts: 427 Member
    I'd feel a lot safer running outside if I could take either of my 2 dogs with me. But they're not good running dogs... they either stop constantly and refuse to move or they zig zag across the sidewalk and I trip over them!
  • aylajane
    aylajane Posts: 979 Member
    Yeah my dog is not a running partner. Once she decides she is *done*, she wont budge. Not one inch. I either bring a stroller or wagon to get her home, or have carry her over my shoulders like a dead deer. At 50 pounds she adds some weight lifting to my run if I try to take her :) I get a lot of looks and "is she ok"?! Yes, she is just a wuss.
  • catb58
    catb58 Posts: 239 Member
    Am I the only one who doesn't necessarily see this as a threat? I bet I get a honk or catcall or whistle or whatever once or twice a month. But it's usually always someone in a car, driving past. I also run on a fairly trafficked route (for safety reasons), so I've never felt unsafe.

    It wasn't really seen as a threat per say. But all three guys were with a group of other guys. One of the guys was also in front of a house that I'm pretty sure has some sort of drug trafficking happening through it. Unfortunately I don't live in the safest environment, although I wouldn't label it as a dangerous area either. And actually most of the catcallers were on foot, not in a car, so it wasn't like they just yelled as they drove by. It was that creepy "hey girl... blah blah blah" and now I know he's watching my butt as I run past him.

    The last guy has said thing to me before, but he's never been inappropriate so i just shrugged him off. The other two guys were what bothered me a bit.

    I run with headphones but I always keep the music low enough so that I can hear cars coming (even though i run mostly on the sidewalks and on a rail trail) which is why I heard them in the first place

    Get in your car and drive to a safer area to run.

    Notify the police that you suspect drug trafficking.

    Move.

    What he said....definitely.

    I'd also invest in a can of pepper spray to carry. When I bike on a wooded trail that is mostly deserted with a friend who is 6'4" and 280 lbs, both of us carry pepper spray. It would enable us to disable an attacker long enough to get away.

  • catb58
    catb58 Posts: 239 Member
    I don't think it's the catcalls that has most people's spidey senses pinging so much as the comment about you thinking there's drug trafficking going on.
  • jomatho
    jomatho Posts: 311 Member
    I really hate how things like that can have an effect on us, but they do!

    I still vividly remember back when I was about 16 or 17, riding my bike down a neighborhood street and a carload of older boys (probably early 20s) drove by and one of them stuck his upper body/arm out the car window and slapped my butt!!! Then one of them said something to the fact that he wished he was that bike seat - wow, seriously? The comment was bad enough, but the slap made me so angry!

    I was very self conscious for a while, and paid close attention to any vehicle getting near me, and I think it still has an effect on me to this day. I was pretty carefree before that, but now I am much more conscious of my surroundings when I am out alone.
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I totally get it - that'd throw me off too and I think I'd take a slightly different route if possible. At the same time though, sometimes you just have to be as safe as you can and hope for the best. Be aware of your surroundings. Keep your cell phone and some form of id on you and don't wear headphones. Wear a hat if it makes you feel more secure - why not, it has the added bonus of keeping the sun out of your eyes.

    A couple years ago, we had some difficulty with a neighbor, actually it was more his rowdy friends, that would get drunk and make vague threats to my husband. I probably watch and read too many crime stories too but all I could think was, if they really wanted to get to him, they could do it through me. Then I realized that was kind of silly and didn't let it keep me from going out for walks and runs. I followed my own personal safety routine (mentioned above) and was just fine.
  • ayalowich
    ayalowich Posts: 242 Member
    The odds that the same people will be out there at the exact same time is very slim. I wouldn't let that dissuade you. I've certainly had very few instances where people are saying inappropriate things but it does happen and for the most part I chalk them up to being idiots. Now I have had problems with dogs and given consideration to changing my route but still have not done that. If it became a problem, I would just start to carry mace and at least know that if I was attacked I had a defense.

    Come to think of it, perhaps you could do the same. Anyone gets near you, mace them.

    Or just wear headphones and you won't hear what they are saying. I don't choose to do that but certainly many others do.

    So about two or three weeks ago I got catcalled for the very first time while out on my run (I've been running for about 5 years now). The disturbing part to me was that it was from 3 different guys within a half a mile from each other. I was wearing running tights and a long sleeve crew neck t shirt so nothing was hanging out. It was on my usual route that I have run countless times before. The only thing that was different was the time of day from when I usually pass by that area. Luckily it wasn't highly inappropriate and I didn't feel threatened at all, just slightly embarrassed.


  • bigblondewolf
    bigblondewolf Posts: 268 Member
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

  • stealthq
    stealthq Posts: 4,298 Member
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

    Guess I'm in the minority, then, since I don't feel threatened by catcalls at all. Usually, I find them amusing, occasionally just annoying. Depends on what's said and how. As long as no one's getting up to come at me (or has been stalking me), it's just empty talk.
  • msf74
    msf74 Posts: 3,498 Member
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

    As a younger man I used to think "what's the big deal? It's just banter".

    But then as a man I hadn't grown up under the shadow of sexual violence as an unconscious fear.

    IIRC about 20% of women in the US report having been raped at some point in their lives. That is just the reported figure. The true amount may be much higher.

    That is staggeringly high. It stands to reason therefore that some women (but the total number may be very large indeed despite it being a minority) who experience catcalls may feel threatened by that behaviour. This is especially true if they are by themselves in a public space and particularly when presented with a group of men in this context.

    Of course people have different tolerances for this sort of thing but I think if men had a little bit more awareness of how our actions can impact on women the situation may get better for all of us. Society seems to have no problem telling women they should modify their behaviour. That should be true of men then as well...
  • Lalalindaloo
    Lalalindaloo Posts: 204 Member
    msf74 wrote: »
    Society seems to have no problem telling women they should modify their behaviour. That should be true of men then as well...

    You just made my whole day better by stating this. :) Too often after assaults, abductions, etc. we see articles on what women should do to protect themselves and avoid dangerous situations. While there is value in that it would be so much more valuable to have a culture and environment where so much wariness and suspicion weren't necessary.
  • bigblondewolf
    bigblondewolf Posts: 268 Member
    msf74 wrote: »
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

    As a younger man I used to think "what's the big deal? It's just banter".

    But then as a man I hadn't grown up under the shadow of sexual violence as an unconscious fear.

    IIRC about 20% of women in the US report having been raped at some point in their lives. That is just the reported figure. The true amount may be much higher.

    That is staggeringly high. It stands to reason therefore that some women (but the total number may be very large indeed despite it being a minority) who experience catcalls may feel threatened by that behaviour. This is especially true if they are by themselves in a public space and particularly when presented with a group of men in this context.

    Of course people have different tolerances for this sort of thing but I think if men had a little bit more awareness of how our actions can impact on women the situation may get better for all of us. Society seems to have no problem telling women they should modify their behaviour. That should be true of men then as well...

    If I could hug you right now I would :D I wish more men could share your open-minded and educated view on life.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    msf74 wrote: »
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

    As a younger man I used to think "what's the big deal? It's just banter".

    But then as a man I hadn't grown up under the shadow of sexual violence as an unconscious fear.

    IIRC about 20% of women in the US report having been raped at some point in their lives. That is just the reported figure. The true amount may be much higher.

    That is staggeringly high. It stands to reason therefore that some women (but the total number may be very large indeed despite it being a minority) who experience catcalls may feel threatened by that behaviour. This is especially true if they are by themselves in a public space and particularly when presented with a group of men in this context.

    Of course people have different tolerances for this sort of thing but I think if men had a little bit more awareness of how our actions can impact on women the situation may get better for all of us. Society seems to have no problem telling women they should modify their behaviour. That should be true of men then as well...

    And what % of the 20% is raped by someone they are familiar with, as opposed to the random catcalling evildoers?
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

    I'll just leave this article from Women's Freaking Health magazine here to show y'all the glaring double standard and how when women take it a step further it is ok, and actually funny. Tell me more about the random comments and ego boosts, please.

    http://www.womenshealthmag.com/fitness/hot-nyc-marathoner-selfies

    This Woman Snapped Selfies with Hot Men for the Entire NYC Marathon
    It’s a running technique you'll definitely want to steal.

    Even if you've trained for a marathon for months and are at the top of your game, a little extra motivation to make it to the finish line never hurts. Case in point: Kelly Roberts, the woman behind #HottGuysOfTheNYCHalf, who managed to snap 20 selfies with unsuspecting attractive men along the TCS New York City Marathon route this past weekend.

    Not only were the results hilarious to see, but they also helped her power through to the end. "Because of the selfies, I didn’t spend any time worrying about how much farther I had to go," says Kelly. "I was worrying about being silly and making people laugh instead."

    She definitely succeeded there. Check out just a few of our favorites:



    Break me off a piece of THAT Kit kat bar #SIX02Moment #runselfierepeat #tcsnycmarathon #teamforkids

    Ein von Kelly Roberts (@kellykkroberts) gepostetes Foto am Nov 11, 2014 at 9:48 PST



    This guy might be cute, but Kelly says her dream selfie race partners are Andy Sandberg, Bill Hader, and Jimmy Fallon. "I mean, I love a serious hottie selfie, but it’s the ones who are in on the joke or being equally as silly about it that are my favorites," she says. "Hot guys are great, but funny guys are greater."



    Let's discuss the names of our children over a beer #SIX02Moment #runselfierepeat #tcsnycmarathon #teamforkids

    Ein von Kelly Roberts (@kellykkroberts) gepostetes Foto am Nov 11, 2014 at 9:35 PST



    Ironically enough, even after running an entire marathon, Kelly's cheeks are the sorest part of her body today, thanks to that strong selfie game.



    Boyfriend? #SIX02Moment #runselfierepeat #tcsnycmarathon #teamforkids

    A photo posted by Kelly Roberts (@kellykkroberts) on Nov 11, 2014 at 8:25am PST


    Which selfie was Kelly's personal favorite? One that doesn't have a hottie in it at all.



    No hottie just an ugly crying face. Losing it. It's incredible. I never thought I could do this. #SIX02Moment #runselfierepeat #tcsnycmarathon #teamforkids

    A photo posted by Kelly Roberts (@kellykkroberts) on Nov 11, 2014 at 11:11am PST


    "I spent the last three miles of the course fighting tears," she says. "I was so overwhelmed by the spectators, especially those screaming my name… It brought on a tidal wave of emotions."

  • Lalalindaloo
    Lalalindaloo Posts: 204 Member
    msf74 wrote: »
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

    As a younger man I used to think "what's the big deal? It's just banter".

    But then as a man I hadn't grown up under the shadow of sexual violence as an unconscious fear.

    IIRC about 20% of women in the US report having been raped at some point in their lives. That is just the reported figure. The true amount may be much higher.

    That is staggeringly high. It stands to reason therefore that some women (but the total number may be very large indeed despite it being a minority) who experience catcalls may feel threatened by that behaviour. This is especially true if they are by themselves in a public space and particularly when presented with a group of men in this context.

    Of course people have different tolerances for this sort of thing but I think if men had a little bit more awareness of how our actions can impact on women the situation may get better for all of us. Society seems to have no problem telling women they should modify their behaviour. That should be true of men then as well...

    And what % of the 20% is raped by someone they are familiar with, as opposed to the random catcalling evildoers?

    Approximately two-thirds of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone known to the victim. I believe the stat is that 40%-ish knew them enough to have referred to the attacker as a friend or acquaintance. But... what was your point with the question? I can't see that it detracts from the statement above. No one said that every cat caller is a rapist. My experience even verified that for me. But with the prevalence of sexual assault, and just otherwise being objectified, cat calling can make women uncomfortable.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    edited November 2014
    msf74 wrote: »
    Cat calls are not a compliment. I usually wear headphones and don't hear stuff, which isn't safe.

    I think there are some activists groups now that are addressing this, but it's a long road of education and action ahead.

    If ugly girls were catcalled along with the pretty ones (OP), there wouldn't be an issue. Not everyone gets a trophy in life.

    Wow, really? That's not disgusting at all. Cat calling is not a compliment, regardless of whether or not a woman is attractive. Perhaps it's harder to see from a man's perspective because you understandably don't feel threatened when approached by strangers, however most women view random comments from strange men as a threat rather than an ego boost.

    As a younger man I used to think "what's the big deal? It's just banter".

    But then as a man I hadn't grown up under the shadow of sexual violence as an unconscious fear.

    IIRC about 20% of women in the US report having been raped at some point in their lives. That is just the reported figure. The true amount may be much higher.

    That is staggeringly high. It stands to reason therefore that some women (but the total number may be very large indeed despite it being a minority) who experience catcalls may feel threatened by that behaviour. This is especially true if they are by themselves in a public space and particularly when presented with a group of men in this context.

    Of course people have different tolerances for this sort of thing but I think if men had a little bit more awareness of how our actions can impact on women the situation may get better for all of us. Society seems to have no problem telling women they should modify their behaviour. That should be true of men then as well...

    And what % of the 20% is raped by someone they are familiar with, as opposed to the random catcalling evildoers?

    Approximately two-thirds of sexual assaults are perpetrated by someone known to the victim. I believe the stat is that 40%-ish knew them enough to have referred to the attacker as a friend or acquaintance. But... what was your point with the question? I can't see that it detracts from the statement above. No one said that every cat caller is a rapist. My experience even verified that for me. But with the prevalence of sexual assault, and just otherwise being objectified, cat calling can make women uncomfortable.

    I'd be sure to put some of the blame on women and the celebrity culture of objectification they perpetuate. Guys are the dumb ones, remember? If I were a girl, I'd put more of the worrying energy into guys that are close to me, and not random dudes. And by all means, DO NOT watch I Spit On Your Grave :)

    *ETA there are plenty of benign things that make me feel uncomfortable too. That's life. You can't live in a bubble.
  • Lalalindaloo
    Lalalindaloo Posts: 204 Member
    And of course, I am immediately googling I Spit On Your Grave... ;)
  • Lalalindaloo
    Lalalindaloo Posts: 204 Member
    And of course, I am immediately googling I Spit On Your Grave... ;)

    Wait, no, no... ungoogling that from work.
  • SonicDeathMonkey80
    SonicDeathMonkey80 Posts: 4,489 Member
    And of course, I am immediately googling I Spit On Your Grave... ;)

    Wait, no, no... ungoogling that from work.

    Hey, I warned you! Haha

    And let the record show, I have seen it, and while I'm a lover of horror/thriller movies, rape scenes are a dealbreaker for me. And that includes The Hills Have Eyes :'(

    And I've never catcalled a female. I consider myself a rational person and don't think for a second that a catcall would get me a meaningful date/relationship. So there's that.
This discussion has been closed.