Should I just accept the fact I will always look thin?

Janneson

JoRocka wrote: »

We're really sorry but it looks like this community doesn't have any better advice to give you. So when you're ready to stop making excuses for yourself please come back and ask again.

Bah- don't apologize. The community has given her great answers.

You're next sentence is correct- when someone is willing to make a change and no make excuses they find a way- or they realize the answers they did get where what they needed in the first place.

You're right. I just wanted her to understand I wasn't bashing or trolling her. Just wanted her to understand why the community is frustrated with her.

Assuming she was telling the truth it really is hard when you're having mental anxiety. You don't think clearly and you don't realize the things you do but you know you're doing something wrong you just don't know what it is and then later you beat yourself up and stress yourself out more because you want to figure it out but you can't. It's not until some real heart healing and self forgiveness takes place that you learn to rise above the stress and the mental beatings.

At least that's how it felt for me at the time.

So I do actually sympathize with her anxiety issues.

RHachicho

You need to get over your self hatred. I too suffered from this. I know it's not an easy battle. But you need to forgive yourself for being yourself.

When I was morbidly obese I thought I'm ok i am just being me. But deep down inside I loathed myself. My greed and my laziness and my lack of strength or willpower.

My weight loss journey did so much more than just shed pounds. It tought me discipline. It gave me strength and health through my constant efforts to improve myself. I will always be a bit fat. Not because losing the rest of the weight is impossible. I just don't really want to. I like food too much. I am prepared to accept being a bit overweight. Hell ... if you believe some of the research that's put about these days it may even be good for you. Though i treat that with due skepticism. I am strong. I am healthy. I eat healthy food for the most part. I can run further than most. I can lift more than many. Why shouldn't I be proud of what I have achieved. I don't need perfection. I never did. And neither do you.

Because what I hated about myself. What I really hated was weakness. I despised it.

Every time I couldn't get up off the floor and needed another go I hated myself.

Every time I stuffed myself with food though I was full just because I was miserable I hated myself.

Every time i tried to be with a woman and I couldn't even handle the athletic demands of sex I wanted to god damn kill myself.

I had nightmares about failing to save someone I cared about due to my weakness.

I never hated being fat

I hated being weak

Though you come at the problem from somewhere else I feel that your problem is much the same as mine. You describe yourself as a stick. And being attacked by men will no doubt have re enforced that feeling of weakness and helplessness. You hate your weakness and you feel that putting on weight will make you strong and healthy. What you need to realize is that your scale weight is NO indication of your inner or bodily strength.

What you want is strength I am sure of it. So pursue strength. Fuel your body and work it hard and let the scales fall where they may. Because you will never, ever be anything other than yourself. Become morbidly obese or shrink into a skeleton won't change what's inside. Only you can do that. And it can change overnight if you have the will. Get your heart in order and your body will follow suit.

arditarose

I have seen you post similar things before. I'm going to be honest with you...I don't really think you're that thin. I think you're normal. You look fine. You're not "skinny". And you have shape.

annette_15

arditarose wrote: »

I have seen you post similar things before. I'm going to be honest with you...I don't really think you're that thin. I think you're normal. You look fine. You're not "skinny". And you have shape.

I agree with this. I think you look very healthy and shouldnt try to gain weight just because of BMI. If you think you will be more comfortable and happier with a higher weight then do it, but do it for yourself and your health, not to see a number on the scale or to be where the society says you should be

rererangi03

mc dondlds pancakes every morning make sure to ask for extra syrup and jam - then have a burger for lunch some fries - afternoon snack a pkt of chips - dinner fish n chips with bread n tomato sauce - you can have all my fat - i was once like you when i met hubby n turned my 20s corner, had children my body and metabolism changed - if youre eating, and your brain and body function as they should, dont worry about what others say, people are mean without reason without realizing - looking at your profile pic, i dont see someone i think needs to gain weight - i see a lady with a gorgeous body .

steff274

My ribs are quite visible so I am trying to gain abit was 7st 5 this morning try nuts and lindor choccys!! Just 4 lindor choccys is over 300 calories!! Calorie dense food that doesn't make you feel like you are eating a truck load of food to prevent you from dropping weight!!

Tickateeboo

Should I just accept the fact that due to my metabolism and stress levels I will always be this twig like? Should I just embrace it and ignore the bad looks and comments?

This appears to be the only question you ask in your original post. So you are asking people's advice on whether you should give up and be miserable for the rest of your life? I would go with no, and you have had good advice here, but are not giving people enough information to help you. You do have a tendency to find reasons why something can't be done, as if you are also finding reasons why you should just give up and carry on in such as miserable state as you clearly are. No-one can pull up your socks and get yourself sorted with this attitude, you need to want to do it for yourself. So no, don't embrace it. Take the advice and try harder if that's what you really want to do.

People have given you good advice - yes, as long as you have these stress levels you will, so deal with those first. They are reason you hate yourself, so deal with these and things might improve, you will get more of an appetite and gain back the curves you want.

Ulwaz

its common knowledge your not going to gain weight on 2000. that will be your maitenance you need to be at a surplus, add me and ill help you make a plan if you want, i did a health/nutrition course at the beginning of the year, here if you need any support!

Fallenangelx111

Looking sexy op. Dont see what the problem is here. You dont really look underweight. But if you want to gain weight. Eat more calories. 3k should do the trick

The end

JosieRawr

Hello love. I have never had your issue, but if you're eating 2k calories, but only sometimes try to be more consistent. If you eat 2k calories per day for 2 weeks and do not gain, then bump it up to 2200 for another two consistent weeks. If you do not gain, bump it again to 2400 for two weeks. The most important thing is consistency. If you eat 2k calories one day then 1000 the next day then u just averaged 1500. Make it easier on yourself by prepping meals when you're feeling better, and let yourself drink calories if you need to(milk is good for weight gain if you're not lactose intolerant) Good luck and don't let anyone on here get you down. Just set it in your head that you're going to do this and make a routine that you can stick with.

edit- I eat between 2500-3500 a day and am losing weight btw, so a lot of it depends on your personal needs. If you are extremely fidgety, it might come into play, but that only means you need to keep reaching for the right number.

Sarauk2sf

PwrLftr82 wrote: »

TL;DR the whole thread.

You do not look underweight to me, but you do look like you probably have a high body fat %. If you lift weights and eat a little more (2200 cals/day) I can almost guarantee that you will gain some weight, especially in the form of muscle). Your body composition will improve and you will be at a higher, "healthier" weight.

Agreed.

While you may be very slightly under the BMI's 'healthy' range, you do not seem to have a particularly low body fat based on your pics. As your weight is low for your height, you would have a low LBM. Lift weights - its good for you for a myriad of reasons.

Also, to get more food in, snack more often or drink a glass of full fat milk, or have a serving of ice cream.

Owlibee

A few comments have mentioned that I have high body fat? Really confused as I have never had that measured so how can you know? am I missing something. my family and friends confirmed that i look very underweight so I am confused about the responses saying i have high body fat? What does this mean please

eatmindfully

Your body looks amazing. I don't understand the problem. You do not look twiggy to me at all. Many women would be thrilled to have the figure that you have.

Sarauk2sf

Owlibee wrote: »

A few comments have mentioned that I have high body fat? Really confused as I have never had that measured so how can you know? am I missing something. my family and friends confirmed that i look very underweight so I am confused about the responses saying i have high body fat? What does this mean please

Its proportionate to your weight. You are very light, yet you do not look underweight and still have a some (healthy) amount of fat covering you (based on your pics). This indicates that you have a relatively low LBM.

Maitria

I'm not sure why some are questioning her about it hurting to sleep. My body begins to hurt in bed, chairs, and the tub while still in the healthy but lower BMI. It's also a lot more easy for a normal touch from someone else to cause pain. I can believe OP is physically uncomfortable at her weight.

ilfaith

I wouldn't say that you appear to have "high" body fat. But you appear to have a healthy, normal amount of body fat. Considering that your body looks slim but not unhealthily thin, but you are actually slightly underweight, you probably don't have a lot of lean muscle. I know you have said before that you aren't really interested in building muscle...but you also complain about your lack of curves. If you have a body type that isn't predisposed to storing fat in places like your hips and bottom, the only way you are going to add curves there is by building muscle.

I find it very strange that your doctor will not prescribe you medicine because of your low weight. I know people with BMIs lower than yours who do take meds for anxiety. It would seem they would be particularly beneficial in cases where the anxiety has led to weight loss. I have a similar BMI to yours, and my own physician only brought it up in passing ("You're a little underweight, but otherwise everything looks good. Any concerns?") The only concession I make when taking meds (OTC...I'm not on any prescription meds at the moment) is if the recommended dose is "one to two tablets"...I usually start with one (but at <100 lbs, my husband jokes I ought to be taking the "junior" formula).

There are a variety of methods of measuring body fat percentage. Some more accurate than others. The simplest for you would probably be a measuring tape...there are a variety of sites where you can plug in the numbers...just Google it...or the MFP forums have plenty of information to search of body fat measurement.

luluinca

RHachicho wrote: »

You need to get over your self hatred. I too suffered from this. I know it's not an easy battle. But you need to forgive yourself for being yourself.

When I was morbidly obese I thought I'm ok i am just being me. But deep down inside I loathed myself. My greed and my laziness and my lack of strength or willpower.

My weight loss journey did so much more than just shed pounds. It tought me discipline. It gave me strength and health through my constant efforts to improve myself. I will always be a bit fat. Not because losing the rest of the weight is impossible. I just don't really want to. I like food too much. I am prepared to accept being a bit overweight. Hell ... if you believe some of the research that's put about these days it may even be good for you. Though i treat that with due skepticism. I am strong. I am healthy. I eat healthy food for the most part. I can run further than most. I can lift more than many. Why shouldn't I be proud of what I have achieved. I don't need perfection. I never did. And neither do you.

Because what I hated about myself. What I really hated was weakness. I despised it.

Every time I couldn't get up off the floor and needed another go I hated myself.

Every time I stuffed myself with food though I was full just because I was miserable I hated myself.

Every time i tried to be with a woman and I couldn't even handle the athletic demands of sex I wanted to god damn kill myself.

I had nightmares about failing to save someone I cared about due to my weakness.

I never hated being fat

I hated being weak

Though you come at the problem from somewhere else I feel that your problem is much the same as mine. You describe yourself as a stick. And being attacked by men will no doubt have re enforced that feeling of weakness and helplessness. You hate your weakness and you feel that putting on weight will make you strong and healthy. What you need to realize is that your scale weight is NO indication of your inner or bodily strength.

What you want is strength I am sure of it. So pursue strength. Fuel your body and work it hard and let the scales fall where they may. Because you will never, ever be anything other than yourself. Become morbidly obese or shrink into a skeleton won't change what's inside. Only you can do that. And it can change overnight if you have the will. Get your heart in order and your body will follow suit.

One of the best responses I've ever read here! Great comment!

gemmamummy

Er you probably might want to start by logging your food into MFP.......that may help??!!!

TavistockToad

Owlibee wrote: »

A few comments have mentioned that I have high body fat? Really confused as I have never had that measured so how can you know? am I missing something. my family and friends confirmed that i look very underweight so I am confused about the responses saying i have high body fat? What does this mean please

maybe your face looks particularly gaunt? given that you dont look underweight at all from your pic?