Relationship Weight

wildwhisper96

My boyfriend is naturally slim and lean, so it's hard for him to grasp that if I eat a 800 calorie burger it will kill me versus him who can't gain fat it seems to save his own life. I love him dearly, but he just doesn't understand that my body doesn't work the same way his does and going out on dates is getting increasingly harder because he likes fat,meat,BBQ crap and it's getting extremely hard to not cheat on date days with him.

Any suggestions other then just communicating with him ( I already slowly am, it's just hard telling him hey I wanna lose weight quit it)? I want him to get his greasy goodness, but I need a middle ground where I can eat something too without needing a 5 mile run after to shed it all.

Please and thank you!

JTick

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

LolBroScience

Choose lower calorie options, save up calories for later in the day, lots of ways to go about it.

wildwhisper96

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

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Ni_kki

Try going on dates that aren't centered around food and eating.

a_stronger_me13

You're just going to have to make good choices that fit into your calories and macros while on dates. Maybe you two can alternate picking different places to go? But if you aren't going out to eat MOST meals during the week, there is no reason you can't fit in one of those fat,meat, BBQ crap/deathburger meals and still lose weight. I do it all the time.

Why do your dates have to be food related anyway? Why not go do something active together or cook a meal at home together?

lishie_rebooted

wildwhisper96 wrote: »

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

Well you have a few options:

1) stop being picky and get a salad
2)eat the 800 calorie burger and just plan around it
3)just break up
4)be an adult and have this conversation with him, sit him down and make him understand. he can't be that dense.
5)just stay fat

SonicDeathMonkey80

1. "Naturally thin" is *kitten*
2. He has no power over you or your dietary habits
3. Metabolically, your body is the same (unless you have a medical condition)
4. Just break up

chunkytfg

Could you not ask them to prepare things how you want it? Salad, grilled chicken without dressing, plain straight up veg? Just coz it isn't on the menu doesn't mean it can't be ordered. Even in macdonalds you can get them to make a big mac exactly how you want it!

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fivethreeone

LolBroScience wrote: »

Choose lower calorie options, save up calories for later in the day, lots of ways to go about it.

Yup. I do both of these things when I know I will be eating out. Saving my calories and eating what I really want is never a bad call.

SonicDeathMonkey80

603reader wrote: »

wildwhisper96 wrote: »

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

Well you have a few options:

1) stop being picky and get a salad
2)eat the 800 calorie burger and just plan around it
3)just break up
4)be an adult and have this conversation with him, sit him down and make him understand. he can't be that dense.
5)just stay fat

Let's get married. Tomorrow. I won't get fat or complain.

jemhh

I'd say it's a combo of finding lower calorie choices at the restaurants he likes and expecting him to compromise sometimes to go to places you like. Plus, obviously, find places you both like. I mean, in any relationship you have to have some give and take.

blabrecque_xo

I do know what it's like to have a spouse who seems to want to go out to eat all the time!

But most restaurants have a section devoted to lighter options, and especially if you're eating at a chain restaurant the meal should be in the database so you can log your food correctly.

timodawson

603reader wrote: »

wildwhisper96 wrote: »

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

Well you have a few options:

1) stop being picky and get a salad
2)eat the 800 calorie burger and just plan around it
3)just break up
4)be an adult and have this conversation with him, sit him down and make him understand. he can't be that dense.
5)just stay fat

LOL!

njitaliana

My husband eats the same way as your boyfriend, but I just eat the foods I need to eat to lose weight and be healthy. I think one way to handle it would be to go to places where he could get the burger he wants, while you get something healthier. Chain restaurants like Uno, Ruby Tuesday, Applebees etc., have burgers, but they also have healthy, low-cal menu items. The only thing I ask is that we not accept the bread basket, as that is tempting to me. Also, Red Robin has a grilled chicken sandwich that you could get with a side of their fruit salad.

SonicDeathMonkey80

blabrecque_xo wrote: »

I do know what it's like to have a spouse who seems to want to go out to eat all the time!

But most restaurants have a section devoted to lighter options, and especially if you're eating at a chain restaurant the meal should be in the database so you can log your food correctly.

Like a "fat people only" section?

I kid, I kid

wolverine66

i refuse to let my trying to lose weight alter what my wife eats. This is my whale to slay. Not hers.

So if/when we do go out to eat, I try to get on the restaurant's website ahead of time and see what they have that would fit into my macros. I think if I can make the choice ahead of time, i'm not as tempted when sitting in the restaurant. If I know we are going out enough in advance, I can make adjustments during the day that would allow me to indulge.

As a side note: most restaurants will make you something that isn't on the menu if you request it (provided they have the ingredients)

concordancia

You are describing my husband and me, as well. Luckily, we met through an activity, so meals were never more than a means to fuel our activities. However, over the years I have developed a few strategies.

-Offer him the other half of your dinner. An 800 calorie burger cut in half is only 400!

-Ask to choose the restaurant. Make sure the ones you choose have options for him to fuel up, as well.

-Plan a picnic. Again, make sure that you bring enough that he will be full. I usually plan on giving my husband twice as much food as I need. If I make sandwiches, I might get half and he gets one and a half (depends on the bread, obviously).

-Plan dates around activities - go for a hike or a bike ride, take a dance class together, go to a boxing gym, when was the last time you went roller skating?

micheleld73

I told my boyfriend if we were going to continue to eat that way we also had to workout together. (We had both gotten soft in the middle) It has made us become more aware of what we are cooking/eating and also gives us more of a variety of what we do together now.

ETA: I liked Floridanudist's suggestion as well!!

blukitten

Find healthy options at the restaurants- In n out-- just get the regular burger or cheeseburger with no sauce and no fries-- yes you have to eat less so you don't eat the 800 -1000 cal meal

or like others have suggested save your cals or have a date not centered on food

I get the frustration at the watching him eat whatever he wants but not being able to do the same-- but you can still have days when you eat what you want just be good the rest of the week or save your cals/macros!!

JoRocka

603reader wrote: »

wildwhisper96 wrote: »

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

Well you have a few options:

1) stop being picky and get a salad
2)eat the 800 calorie burger and just plan around it
3)just break up
4)be an adult and have this conversation with him, sit him down and make him understand. he can't be that dense.
5)just stay fat

this is about all that can be said.

Seriously- this isn't that difficult.
-I work around special meals out (typically all you can eat places)- otherwise I make good choices about what I eat.
Or I just flat out tell him- I can't afford to eat out- we have to do something else.

AskTracyAnnK28

How about you choose where you're going to eat? So next time he's all "let's go out to eat" find a place with a light menu options that you'll enjoy.

LolBroScience

wildwhisper96 wrote: »

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

Grilled Chicken Sammich

/thread

feisty_bucket

he likes fat,meat,BBQ crap

I don't understand the problem. There's nothing in that that will have to mess up your cut.

At a fast food/BBQ joint:
1. don't eat fries
2. don't eat bread
3. no sweet tea, or sugar soda

You can get a plate of brisket or misc. meat combo. You could get a pulled pork sandwich and ditch the bun.
BBQ places are great for cutting!

JTick

wildwhisper96 wrote: »

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

Red Robin is probably one of the easiest places to get a good burger without a load of calories. They offer different bun options, lettuce bun, ect, and you can customize any burger. I don't understand the problem.

a_stronger_me13

JTick wrote: »

wildwhisper96 wrote: »

JTick wrote: »

Why will an 800 calorie burger kill you?

What restaurants are you going to that a burger is your only option?

It's places like local BBQ places where the alternative salads I just flat out don't like (I'm relatively picky), typically where he wants to go, and in n out, and Red Robin, ect.

Red Robin is probably one of the easiest places to get a good burger without a load of calories. They offer different bun options, lettuce bun, ect, and you can customize any burger. I don't understand the problem.

On top of that, they have a calorie and macro calculator online that does ALLLLLL the work for you! You don't even have to make halfassed guesses just using the MFP database.

tulips_and_tea

wolverine66 wrote: »

i refuse to let my trying to lose weight alter what my wife eats. This is my whale to slay. Not hers.

So if/when we do go out to eat, I try to get on the restaurant's website ahead of time and see what they have that would fit into my macros. I think if I can make the choice ahead of time, i'm not as tempted when sitting in the restaurant. If I know we are going out enough in advance, I can make adjustments during the day that would allow me to indulge.

As a side note: most restaurants will make you something that isn't on the menu if you request it (provided they have the ingredients)

Yes, this. Very wise, common sense advice.

Also, if you're feeling jealous that he can eat things that you can't, that's an issue you need to resolve for yourself. It has nothing to do with him, dates, or choice of restaurants. Sorry, not to sound harsh, but until you accept that how you eat and live is for YOU and not to be compared with someone else, you may not succeed.

Either make healthier choices when you go out to eat or eat just a small portion. It can be done.

tibby531

I'm a fan of saving half for later. or, at least trying to. I have to get the to go box with the meal and divide it up before I start eating, or I'm going to eat it all right then and there.

Sing_90

I have the same problem with my GF. Ask him to cook together, which also is fun to do. By cooking it yourself (or with him) you can track every single macro.