Do They Get It?

logg1e

I think calorie-counting at maintenance is a bit like using Head & Shoulders ("But you don't have dandruff") isn't it?

shreddedtrooper

There is a great disconnect.

Huge, vast.

I will gladly take the critics and judgments, I will take on the looks and stares as I order the most Macros I can and eat everything because guess what.. it not only fits but its what is required.

If these people want to live reckless then that is fine by me. Smile and laugh but it truly is a disconnect.

After the meal when everyone is complaining after how much they ate or how they regret it, I do not, I am satiated and ready for my next meal.

Choices, some are ready for them and some are not.

I respond in many different ways, either show them a picture (progress) and it quiets them down when it gets negative. I uplift and educate when those around me ask how and what and truly want to know. Now for those that sneak in and will troll the dinner (friends of friends etc), I will simply phrase it; "this is my choice as you can make yours."
In my opinion its as simple as that and my choice is not to worry myself with the feelings of others and their own blatant disregard for general health. happy festivus everyone!

"Eat whatever the **** you want to eat" - Hodgetwins

unapologetically_crystal

not at maintenance yet.. and last christmas was probably the only time i got caught logging by people who didnt "get it".. it was family.. they kinda giggled and laughed like crystal your phone is gonna blow up after you put in our food. but they were still supportive. people who dont or havent dealt with issues like "us" probably wont understand it.. but thats okay, they dont need to. you are doing it to continue on being healthy for yourself and making sure that you are eating properly. there opinions dont really matter. they arent the ones that have to deal with the weight gain or disappointment if you didnt log it in. you would.

and also its good to see that someone logs to maintain because i feel like i will for a few years before i stop logging if i ever do. (i can stray easily without logging) but i mean 3 years of changing kinda doesnt seem all that long compared to the 20something years of damaged eating i have to break from.. so eh log for life works for me.

cwolfman13

Francl27 wrote: »

cwolfman13 wrote: »

Honestly, I used calorie counting for awhile to better understand things and get a better handle on things...but it was never anything I intended to do into perpetuity and honestly, I do think it's a little weird and obsessive.

I've been able to maintain for over a year and a half without logging...logging was like training wheels on a bike...eventually I just wanted to ride. When I did log, I generally did it in private and never made a big deal about it.

That said, most of my non-fitness friends don't understand my lifestyle in general...they don't understand why I wouldn't skip my Thursday lifting session to go to happy hour with them...or why I would choose the seared ahi tuna salad with dressing on the side over a big basket of fish and chips. They don't understand that I really can't go out and get ripped on a Saturday night because it will substantially interfere with my recovery, etc. In that RE, they don't understand how important it is for me to continuously make healthful choices day in and day out.

My fitness friends...and I've accumulated quite a few over the course of these last couple of years...they understand exactly where I'm coming from and what I'm doing

Haha see, that's why I log. So I can have fish and chips and not have to skip outings with friends (ok... that's assuming I had some). I'm not sure what's more 'weird and obsessive' frankly.

I don't skip outings with my friends...I just don't go on Thursday nights to happy hour and I don't get wrecked on Saturday nights. Saturdays are my Oly-lifting days and it's really hard on my CNS and I'm 40 and I need all the recovery I can get.

In general I train pretty hard and having spent a couple of years figuring out my diet, I can tell you I perform far better when I'm eating very healthfully and my recovery is better as well. I still have fish 'n chips or pizza or whatever from time to time...but these are occasional kinds of meals and as such, I don't really worry about them or going over calories or whatever. If I ate like that on a regular basis, I would have to log...but to me, the "lifestyle change" isn't logging...it's living a more healthful lifestyle in general.

silentKayak

I'd never do this (log, look up calories) in front of friends. It's none of their business why I make the choices I do. Last time I went out with friends and had forgotten to check nutrition facts in advance (only online, not printed on the menu), I went to the bathroom to read the calorie counts on my phone before ordering.

And I don't like it when people talk about their diet/exercise habits because it's boring and narcissistic. So I don't discuss it except with my husband and kids, except to say, "Why thank you, yes, I have lost weight" If someone asks for more details, then I tell them about MFP.

I also think using a phone at the table is rude, but I understand that I'm in the minority. I also write thank-you notes and RSVP to all invitations, even the ones I'm declining to attend.

Iwishyouwell

cwolfman13 wrote: »

If I ate like that on a regular basis, I would have to log...but to me, the "lifestyle change" isn't logging...it's living a more healthful lifestyle in general.

Exactly.

It's going to be very difficult, if not damn near impossible, to maintain without logging if you don't do an overhaul of your entire diet.

Which is why people who are looking to continue eating a standard, commercial western diet will likewise always need to track or calorie count to stay the course. It's just much harder to eat intuitively on that kind of diet.

Sabine_Stroehm

My friends know me. They know that I eat what I eat. Do they judge? Who knows. That's on them. Granted, it's probably easier because I don't log. So they don't see me "maintaining" other than thinking I eat weird sometimes. Maintaining takes work. YOU know that. That's what matters.

AShannon54

This is such an interesting thread and I think it hits on bigger issues than just logging in front of people. Just my opinion here but I think there are a couple different sides to this issue…

1.) The person logging (myself for example) might be perceiving more than is actually there. Perhaps it’s just conversation and not really an issue at all. Maybe the friends jest out of fun because it has become a habit.
2.) Maybe, as some have suggested, it is something the friends find annoying. But then it is up to you to even care or not. You could either change your habits if you are self-conscious about it or you can make a bold statement to them once and for all if you are sick of their comments. Maybe like ‘I love my new life style and this is part of what makes me happy’. Hopefully friends will respect that.
3.) And on a higher view… when I talk about weight loss (or counting calories or working out) around people who are either overweight or not living a healthy lifestyle I either mistakenly perceive that I was annoying them (when I wasn’t) or they did in fact take it as a personal attack because of their own personal issues. I just try not to overthink things now.

concordancia

Francl27 wrote: »

Yeah it happens all the time. A friend telling me I don't need to lose more weight so I should just eat that piece of pizza (which would not bother me except when I just don't really want to eat pizza, lol), or my mom making snide comments about why I keep weighing everything when I don't have more weight to lose.

I typically don't do it with other people though because I don't want to deal with the comments, then I just estimate, but it doesn't happen much anyway.

ETA: I've used the 'I need to go to the restroom' trick to log my food there, to make sure I was within my calories before ordering, lol.

Before ordering wouldn't put up any flags, but if I knew someone who was running to the restroom immediately after eating every meal, you better believe I would be sniffing them to check if they were purging.

RodaRose

They will gets used to it in another year. It will eventually just be a thing that you do.
(I'm sure that each of the others has a "thing."

mandyosetti

I try to log before I go to a restaurant bc I don't want to be on my phone while out with friends. However, sometimes while out doing something else we decide to go to a restaurant and so I have to log while I'm out. I just let my friends know that I have to quickly check calories before I can order. It hasn't been a problem so far.

arditarose

You don't need to be doing that DURING a lunch date. I wouldn't openly do it either, it's annoying and a little rude. If my friend goes to the restroom, then I'll log a few things. Finish it up after.

gothchiq

Man, I get this all the time. It's like "you got an eating disorder?" or "you don't need to do that" or whatever and so I say "doctor's orders!" and that shuts them up.

cliffodom1

jlahorn wrote: »

RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »

It's almost as if they simply do not understand my continued due diligence which sometimes makes lunch/dinner dates a little awkward.

How do they even know? Do you make a big deal out of it? Log at the table? Comment about it?

If you log before or after, they'll have nothing to say about it. If you say, "no thanks, I'm full" when they offer you more food, that's just a normal response. How does it even become a topic of conversation?

Everybody at the table knows with me because I look at the menu pick a meal, then put it in myfitnesspal to see how many calories then I adjust what I want to eat and then I order. Everybody sees me punching my phone. I don't eat and then punch it in. I know up front what I am doing to myself.

NikonPal

I’ve “only” lost 160 pounds so far with another 20 pounds or so to go – then maintenance. BUT…I do get “the look” sometimes.

At events (weddings etc.), I generally keep portions to “fist-size” and only eat things I know to be healthy and have an idea of calorie content. When dining out with friends, I check the menu online in advance and have multiple choices pre-selected and record in private (they don’t even know I have done this). This avoids a lot of “input” and also puts them at ease (they may be obese themselves or intimidated). They only see me ordering “what I am in the mood for.”

Still – people will sometimes see my portion size and tell me how much more I can eat. Rather than get into a big calorie discussion – I tell them “they are right” and that I am simply saving myself for later that night or next day (whatever); so I can indulge on XYZ that I have planned because the last thing I want to do is regain all the weight I have lost through so much work. I think real friends understand and others…well maybe they aren’t real friends…so who cares. LOL

47Jacqueline

Log away. Why are you discussing it?

VeryKatie

zarckon wrote: »

I'd never do this (log, look up calories) in front of friends. It's none of their business why I make the choices I do. Last time I went out with friends and had forgotten to check nutrition facts in advance (only online, not printed on the menu), I went to the bathroom to read the calorie counts on my phone before ordering.

And I don't like it when people talk about their diet/exercise habits because it's boring and narcissistic. So I don't discuss it except with my husband and kids, except to say, "Why thank you, yes, I have lost weight" If someone asks for more details, then I tell them about MFP.

I also think using a phone at the table is rude, but I understand that I'm in the minority. I also write thank-you notes and RSVP to all invitations, even the ones I'm declining to attend.

I agree with you! I also don't like using my phone at the table.. I got some bad habits of doing so and was bugging myself so I got rid of my data. And I do find I talk about dieting way too much and have been working to minimize this. It does help I think.

LivingtheLeanDream

I don't actually make people aware than I count calories. When they saw me lose weight and keep it off some asked how I did it - I told them I watched my portion sizes and tracked calories using an app and that was that. My closest friend knows about mfp and I used to talk rather animatedly about my progress, but I knew I was boring her to tears so I stopped LOL
My hubby has been the best though, when he sees me whipping out my phone to log my foods, he rolls his eyes but only because he wouldn't be bothered logging at all. He's fortunate he doesn't have to, thats what being a big strapping lad of 6ft 1" gets ya.
He keeps expecting me to stop my logging habits but 2 1/2 yrs on I have no intention of doing so, why would I? its got me pretty darn good results :-D
If I was out lunching/eating out with friends, I usually eat the same kinds of things anyway so pre log my days foods in the morning, then adjust it in the evening if necessary and noone is any the wiser. I don't like others using their phones when we're eating or having a conversation with each other so I'm certainly not going to do the same when its irks me.

pkw58

Since I did a lot of change (limit portions, types of foods, had an on line coach ) and logged calories, when I get out of logging is peace of mind. I am ok if people make fun of me. And btw, Head and Shoulders makes great hair products that prevent itchy scalp and dandruff... so if you use that analogy, logging helps you lose and maintain weight.

dym123

While having a conversation with my neighbor, I mentioned something about how my dog likes to hang out with me when I workout, not bragging, we were just talking about our dogs and she said, "why are you still working out, you don't need to lose anymore weight". Grrrr! Working out and eating healthy is a big part of my life, but I try not to talk about it too much, but god forbid I decline a donut, then I'm pegged as anorexic. Not too many anorexics weigh 164lbs.

laineybz

People I know don't look at this as a lifetsyle, they look at this like a diet. It's not. I workout because i want to be healthy, not because i want to lose weight. I get the comment "You don't need to worry about what you eat" all the time. Clearly i do or i wouldn't have gained like i did initially.

WildOkapi

I've got the 'Are you still on your diet?' several times and 'How much more weight are you going to lose?/Are you done losing weight?' I'm just honest when they ask: It's not a diet - it's a permanent change; and no, I'm not done losing weight, but it's not much now. Really, the only thing to do is to address the problem if it's bothering you.

bvifun

A wonderful piece of advice I got when I first started was to photograph my meal in restaurants and then I could record later. We have no online menus here.

pkw58

bvifun wrote: »

A wonderful piece of advice I got when I first started was to photograph my meal in restaurants and then I could record later. We have no online menus here.

I have done this! The other thing is that at "home cooked gatherings" with family and friends I always offer to help serve. That way I can put the right portion size on my plate.