Do They Get It?
Options
Replies
-
RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »We're techies so ahhm yea we're all on our phones quite a bit - that's why we're friends I suppose. lol
Heh, my husband spends 60 hours a week developing your smartphone's brains and neither one of us owns a smartphone. That is $1200/year towards early retirement!
Before you said this, I kind of figured if they asked what you were doing, it was because they were ready for you to put your phone down.
But as for their attitude, they probably thought you were on a "diet," not a lifestyle change. That means, once you lost the weight, you should go back to being the old you.
0 -
RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »I have been in maintaining just past the 1 yr mark in Aug and I've noticed that there's seem to be an genuine disconnect between me & my friends who have not had to or want to lose weight.
It's not that they are unsupportive but I get this 'look' when I continue to log my food & watch my portions even though I've lost the weight. It's almost as if they simply do not understand my continued due diligence which sometimes makes lunch/dinner dates a little awkward.
Anyone else experienced or experiencing this? How did you deal with the feeling of being the 'freak' in the group? lol
So if everyone else is on their phone (per your subsequent comment) then is it normal for the group to ask each other what they are doing on their phone? Or are they only asking you?
Same question on the portion size. Does everyone else have the same portion size and you are the only one that is less? Do others give someone the "look" if they order the mega super-sized entree?
Everybody has different habits/mannerisms. Perhaps they just need more time to get the new ones you have.
ahhhm we Insta / Pin a lot so many times someone in the group may come across something that we want to ck out also. So yea we sort of do our thing on the phone & chit chat simultaneously - if that makes sense.
And I don't think it's really about the portions but more so that a lot of times when the question makes it's way around the table to me, I just happen to be logging my food. haha
Quite possibly ...
Some good advice all around & I'm glad others have had similar experiences.
Thanks to those who shared & advised.0 -
I just had a similar experience on the weekend. I invited a friend over to my house for wine and she gave me a hard time about measuring it out. Her comment was that I was being silly and I should just eyeball. My response was "honey I didn't lose 48 lbs in 5 months by eyeballing everything". End of convo. She and I joined MFP and signed up for a race at the exact same time. I've worked my butt off and been diligent and lost a ton of weight, she's actually gained weight during the same time. I've proven that my method works for me and I don't really care what anyone else thinks
0 -
RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »I have been in maintaining just past the 1 yr mark in Aug and I've noticed that there's seem to be an genuine disconnect between me & my friends who have not had to or want to lose weight.
It's not that they are unsupportive but I get this 'look' when I continue to log my food & watch my portions even though I've lost the weight. It's almost as if they simply do not understand my continued due diligence which sometimes makes lunch/dinner dates a little awkward.
Anyone else experienced or experiencing this? How did you deal with the feeling of being the 'freak' in the group? lol
Tell 'em your internal calorie monitor is broken and this is how you compensate. Would they shame someone for wearing glasses if they could not see well?
(At least, I like framing it like that. My internal "I've had enough" monitor doesn't work at all. And like any other disability, I have to use a certain level of technology to overcome it)
0 -
I just had a similar experience on the weekend. I invited a friend over to my house for wine and she gave me a hard time about measuring it out. Her comment was that I was being silly and I should just eyeball. My response was "honey I didn't lose 48 lbs in 5 months by eyeballing everything". End of convo. She and I joined MFP and signed up for a race at the exact same time. I've worked my butt off and been diligent and lost a ton of weight, she's actually gained weight during the same time. I've proven that my method works for me and I don't really care what anyone else thinks
Exactly! Good for you!0 -
concordancia wrote: »... But as for their attitude, they probably thought you were on a "diet," not a lifestyle change. That means, once you lost the weight, you should go back to being the old you.
Quite possibly - Thanks very much for this insight.
0 -
Yeah it happens all the time. A friend telling me I don't need to lose more weight so I should just eat that piece of pizza (which would not bother me except when I just don't really want to eat pizza, lol), or my mom making snide comments about why I keep weighing everything when I don't have more weight to lose.
I typically don't do it with other people though because I don't want to deal with the comments, then I just estimate, but it doesn't happen much anyway.
ETA: I've used the 'I need to go to the restroom' trick to log my food there, to make sure I was within my calories before ordering, lol.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Honestly, I used calorie counting for awhile to better understand things and get a better handle on things...but it was never anything I intended to do into perpetuity and honestly, I do think it's a little weird and obsessive.
I've been able to maintain for over a year and a half without logging...logging was like training wheels on a bike...eventually I just wanted to ride. When I did log, I generally did it in private and never made a big deal about it.
That said, most of my non-fitness friends don't understand my lifestyle in general...they don't understand why I wouldn't skip my Thursday lifting session to go to happy hour with them...or why I would choose the seared ahi tuna salad with dressing on the side over a big basket of fish and chips. They don't understand that I really can't go out and get ripped on a Saturday night because it will substantially interfere with my recovery, etc. In that RE, they don't understand how important it is for me to continuously make healthful choices day in and day out.
My fitness friends...and I've accumulated quite a few over the course of these last couple of years...they understand exactly where I'm coming from and what I'm doing
Haha see, that's why I log. So I can have fish and chips and not have to skip outings with friends (ok... that's assuming I had some). I'm not sure what's more 'weird and obsessive' frankly.
0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »It's almost as if they simply do not understand my continued due diligence which sometimes makes lunch/dinner dates a little awkward.
How do they even know? Do you make a big deal out of it? Log at the table? Comment about it?
If you log before or after, they'll have nothing to say about it. If you say, "no thanks, I'm full" when they offer you more food, that's just a normal response. How does it even become a topic of conversation?
Yup I log my food right before a meal. It's just how I like to do it. Many local mom & pop eateries do not have a menu online to pre-look and log.
I'm always on my phone so unless they ask specifically what I'm doing I don't make any mention of it.
Yes, quite often there is a few comments floating about.
So there you go that's how THAT become a topic of conversation.
if was your friend i would be more annoyed at you constantly being on your phone... i find it so rude, regardless of whether its facebook, MFP or whatever...
Who gives a *kitten*? What does this have to do with the OP's topic?
OP just keep doing you. In my experience some people like to make comments regardless of what you're eating, whether you're logging or not, if you're dining in a way that's out of the oridanry for that person or group.
Also, like somebody mentioned above, a lot of people project their food or weight issues on those around them who are making attempts to create a healthier life. Also there's the very common misconception, even amongst successful losers, that reaching your goal means you can finally eat like a "normal" person, who never had a weight problem, and still magically maintain your weight loss.
It's very tough for people to accept that there is no end.0 -
I thi
I think she should tell them NAMASTE! Right up their downwrd dogs.TheVirgoddess wrote: »RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »RaspberryTickleChicken wrote: »It's almost as if they simply do not understand my continued due diligence which sometimes makes lunch/dinner dates a little awkward.
How do they even know? Do you make a big deal out of it? Log at the table? Comment about it?
If you log before or after, they'll have nothing to say about it. If you say, "no thanks, I'm full" when they offer you more food, that's just a normal response. How does it even become a topic of conversation?
Yup I log my food right before a meal. It's just how I like to do it. Many local mom & pop eateries do not have a menu online to pre-look and log.
I'm always on my phone so unless they ask specifically what I'm doing I don't make any mention of it.
Yes, quite often there is a few comments floating about.
So there you go that's how THAT become a topic of conversation.
Just because one has not personally experience something that doesn't mean it doesn't happen ever. I think that's why we have the forums to exchange ideas & experiences. Namaste
Have you told them their behavior bothers you?
Aside from that, it's been a year. Either you make a big deal of it, or you need to find new friends. IMO, I cannot imagine my friends continuing to harp on something that I do to better myself for a whole year. Unless I'm being obnoxious about it and that's their hint to shut up about it all already.0 -
I think calorie-counting at maintenance is a bit like using Head & Shoulders ("But you don't have dandruff") isn't it?0
-
There is a great disconnect.
Huge, vast.
I will gladly take the critics and judgments, I will take on the looks and stares as I order the most Macros I can and eat everything because guess what.. it not only fits but its what is required.
If these people want to live reckless then that is fine by me. Smile and laugh but it truly is a disconnect.
After the meal when everyone is complaining after how much they ate or how they regret it, I do not, I am satiated and ready for my next meal.
Choices, some are ready for them and some are not.
I respond in many different ways, either show them a picture (progress) and it quiets them down when it gets negative. I uplift and educate when those around me ask how and what and truly want to know. Now for those that sneak in and will troll the dinner (friends of friends etc), I will simply phrase it; "this is my choice as you can make yours."
In my opinion its as simple as that and my choice is not to worry myself with the feelings of others and their own blatant disregard for general health. happy festivus everyone!
"Eat whatever the **** you want to eat" - Hodgetwins0 -
not at maintenance yet.. and last christmas was probably the only time i got caught logging by people who didnt "get it".. it was family.. they kinda giggled and laughed like crystal your phone is gonna blow up after you put in our food. but they were still supportive. people who dont or havent dealt with issues like "us" probably wont understand it.. but thats okay, they dont need to. you are doing it to continue on being healthy for yourself and making sure that you are eating properly. there opinions dont really matter. they arent the ones that have to deal with the weight gain or disappointment if you didnt log it in. you would.
and also its good to see that someone logs to maintain because i feel like i will for a few years before i stop logging if i ever do. (i can stray easily without logging) but i mean 3 years of changing kinda doesnt seem all that long compared to the 20something years of damaged eating i have to break from.. so eh log for life works for me.
0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »Honestly, I used calorie counting for awhile to better understand things and get a better handle on things...but it was never anything I intended to do into perpetuity and honestly, I do think it's a little weird and obsessive.
I've been able to maintain for over a year and a half without logging...logging was like training wheels on a bike...eventually I just wanted to ride. When I did log, I generally did it in private and never made a big deal about it.
That said, most of my non-fitness friends don't understand my lifestyle in general...they don't understand why I wouldn't skip my Thursday lifting session to go to happy hour with them...or why I would choose the seared ahi tuna salad with dressing on the side over a big basket of fish and chips. They don't understand that I really can't go out and get ripped on a Saturday night because it will substantially interfere with my recovery, etc. In that RE, they don't understand how important it is for me to continuously make healthful choices day in and day out.
My fitness friends...and I've accumulated quite a few over the course of these last couple of years...they understand exactly where I'm coming from and what I'm doing
Haha see, that's why I log. So I can have fish and chips and not have to skip outings with friends (ok... that's assuming I had some). I'm not sure what's more 'weird and obsessive' frankly.
I don't skip outings with my friends...I just don't go on Thursday nights to happy hour and I don't get wrecked on Saturday nights. Saturdays are my Oly-lifting days and it's really hard on my CNS and I'm 40 and I need all the recovery I can get.
In general I train pretty hard and having spent a couple of years figuring out my diet, I can tell you I perform far better when I'm eating very healthfully and my recovery is better as well. I still have fish 'n chips or pizza or whatever from time to time...but these are occasional kinds of meals and as such, I don't really worry about them or going over calories or whatever. If I ate like that on a regular basis, I would have to log...but to me, the "lifestyle change" isn't logging...it's living a more healthful lifestyle in general.
0 -
I'd never do this (log, look up calories) in front of friends. It's none of their business why I make the choices I do. Last time I went out with friends and had forgotten to check nutrition facts in advance (only online, not printed on the menu), I went to the bathroom to read the calorie counts on my phone before ordering.
And I don't like it when people talk about their diet/exercise habits because it's boring and narcissistic. So I don't discuss it except with my husband and kids, except to say, "Why thank you, yes, I have lost weight" If someone asks for more details, then I tell them about MFP.
I also think using a phone at the table is rude, but I understand that I'm in the minority. I also write thank-you notes and RSVP to all invitations, even the ones I'm declining to attend.0 -
cwolfman13 wrote: »If I ate like that on a regular basis, I would have to log...but to me, the "lifestyle change" isn't logging...it's living a more healthful lifestyle in general.
Exactly.
It's going to be very difficult, if not damn near impossible, to maintain without logging if you don't do an overhaul of your entire diet.
Which is why people who are looking to continue eating a standard, commercial western diet will likewise always need to track or calorie count to stay the course. It's just much harder to eat intuitively on that kind of diet.0 -
My friends know me. They know that I eat what I eat. Do they judge? Who knows. That's on them. Granted, it's probably easier because I don't log. So they don't see me "maintaining" other than thinking I eat weird sometimes. Maintaining takes work. YOU know that. That's what matters. 0
-
This is such an interesting thread and I think it hits on bigger issues than just logging in front of people. Just my opinion here but I think there are a couple different sides to this issue…
1.) The person logging (myself for example) might be perceiving more than is actually there. Perhaps it’s just conversation and not really an issue at all. Maybe the friends jest out of fun because it has become a habit.
2.) Maybe, as some have suggested, it is something the friends find annoying. But then it is up to you to even care or not. You could either change your habits if you are self-conscious about it or you can make a bold statement to them once and for all if you are sick of their comments. Maybe like ‘I love my new life style and this is part of what makes me happy’. Hopefully friends will respect that.
3.) And on a higher view… when I talk about weight loss (or counting calories or working out) around people who are either overweight or not living a healthy lifestyle I either mistakenly perceive that I was annoying them (when I wasn’t) or they did in fact take it as a personal attack because of their own personal issues. I just try not to overthink things now.0 -
Yeah it happens all the time. A friend telling me I don't need to lose more weight so I should just eat that piece of pizza (which would not bother me except when I just don't really want to eat pizza, lol), or my mom making snide comments about why I keep weighing everything when I don't have more weight to lose.
I typically don't do it with other people though because I don't want to deal with the comments, then I just estimate, but it doesn't happen much anyway.
ETA: I've used the 'I need to go to the restroom' trick to log my food there, to make sure I was within my calories before ordering, lol.
Before ordering wouldn't put up any flags, but if I knew someone who was running to the restroom immediately after eating every meal, you better believe I would be sniffing them to check if they were purging.
0 -
They will gets used to it in another year. It will eventually just be a thing that you do.
(I'm sure that each of the others has a "thing."0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 937 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions