Is phony fatso flattery a thing?
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With everyone else here on this. She's your friend and thinks of you that way, so you freaked her out. It doesn't mean she doesn't think you're a catch, she just doesn't want to be the one catching you, its awkward.0
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Just because someone thinks you're attractive doesn't mean they are interested in you. Don't take it personally.0
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Here is the problem with what the women in this thread are saying:
It's not that the girls HAVE to be interested in him just because they think he's a great catch. Of course not. There is always the possibility that they'd not be into him no matter what he looks like, and still think he's a "great guy".
But looks do matter to most people, on some level. The OP is an obese man. Statistically that does severely limit his options. Based off the one pic I can see, he seem to be a conventionally attractive person. If this same man stripped off almost all his fat he'd likely kill it in the dating world.
He will see a very strong uptick in the amount of women who are interested in giving him a shot, many of whom would never have looked at him twice before. That's just a fact. That doesn't even make the women shallow; most people are not visually attracted to obese bodies. Having his female friends talk about what a "great catch" he is doesn't change the fact that yes, the chances for him are far, far better if he stripped down his weight.
And there is even the possibility that some of his female friends might look at him differently. That isn't uncommon and anecdotally I speak from personal experience. If you've never been in those shoes, you'd be surprised by how many women who friend zoned you suddenly start giving you the "look" AFTER you're no longer a fatso.0 -
yepBased on your profile picture, I'd say it's not phony. You're a good looking guy, even with the extra weight. You've got a great smile and nice eyes.
And that's just appearance. I don't know anything about you as a person. Your friends are right to encourage you to date.
Internet dating sites are fantastic for getting to know people in a low-stakes environment.
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From my own personal experience, fatso flattery is definitely real.
In my past, I have had exactly five girls call me things like 'big sexy,' which is a surprisingly common one, but they wouldn't even bat a single eyelash at me in a romantic, or sexual way regardless of how many times they'd say things like "you're such a catch!" or "I have had such a huge crush on you since high school!" After I lost it all (before gaining it all back) those very same five girls were nearly stepping over each other to get with me.
Fatso flattery is all about physical attraction, period. And, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. Someone can have the absolute best personality in the world, and perfectly fit every single one of your other tastes, but if they turn you off physically, it isn't going to happen.
I am going to catch absolute hell for saying this, but there are a number of girls I know who are such great "catches," but I would not entertain romantically unless they lost a whole bunch of weight. I hold myself to the same standard, and know that the vast majority of females would not look at me in that same light because of my size. People have such a difficult time coming to terms with this, and while it varies from person to person, raw physical attraction has a significant amount to do with whether, or not you perceive someone as a romantic interest.
That doesn't mean you are not a great catch. It just means that you are a great catch for someone else. Either way, that's pretty awesome.0 -
They might think you're an amazing person, but just aren't attracted to you. Nothing wrong with that.0
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Wow...
Somebody can't tell you that you're a catch unless they personally want to date you?! Really? That's a little icky, don't you think?
It's not false flattery to tell a friend that they are a good person, worthy of a loving relationship. It's false friendship to then expect that person wouldn't say "no" to an offer of a date without being accused of "fatso flattery".
Seriously.0 -
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EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?0 -
Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
But sex wasn't off the table. :laugh:-1 -
__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!0 -
Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
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Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
But sex wasn't off the table. :laugh:
No, it was on the table... and the floor.
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
And you know, that sandwich probably told him that he was a great catch but didn't want to be eaten by him specifically.0 -
Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
And you know, that sandwich probably told him that he was a great catch but didn't want to be eaten by him specifically.
Most likely because he's lacking technique.
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
And you know, that sandwich probably told him that he was a great catch but didn't want to be eaten by him specifically.
Most likely because he's lacking technique.
I bet he uses his teeth.0 -
Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
And you know, that sandwich probably told him that he was a great catch but didn't want to be eaten by him specifically.
Most likely because he's lacking technique.
I bet he uses his teeth.
You have to compensate for a small piece somehow.
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