Is phony fatso flattery a thing?
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
And you know, that sandwich probably told him that he was a great catch but didn't want to be eaten by him specifically.
Most likely because he's lacking technique.
I bet he uses his teeth.
You have to compensate for a small piece somehow.
Are you saying he has big teeth?0 -
Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
And you know, that sandwich probably told him that he was a great catch but didn't want to be eaten by him specifically.
Most likely because he's lacking technique.
I bet he uses his teeth.
You have to compensate for a small piece somehow.
Are you saying he has big teeth?
No, small feet.
I am not into false flattery.0 -
Men projecting their own values onto women and then getting upset when it doesn't work. How absolutely adorable. But by all means, keep doing what you already know doesn't work.0
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itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »itsfuntobenormal wrote: »__drmerc__ wrote: »Mr_Bad_Example wrote: »EricJonrosh wrote: »Whenever I'm around friends, at least two or three females (hardbodies) start in with "why are you single, you should get out there, your such a catch." I used to say I was flattered that at 280 lbs, they thought I was anything but invisible to women. So the other day, two of them were carrying on, and I asked one of them out later that day. Got a weird kinda generalized response followed by silence for 2 days. Was this all fat-flattery? Does it happened to you? Just curious.
I have actually known women who I thought were pretty hot and lovely people that I did not want to date or be in a relationship with. I know, how is that possible for a dude, right? But it's possible. It cuts both ways. Crazy, huh?
Situation is different, OP is attracted to females
Cancel the trip to the zoo. A real life *kitten* in his natural habitat.
+1. And you get to observe his eating habits. Fascinating!
Cause you know that sandwich is the only thing he has access to eat.
And you know, that sandwich probably told him that he was a great catch but didn't want to be eaten by him specifically.
Most likely because he's lacking technique.
I bet he uses his teeth.
You have to compensate for a small piece somehow.
Are you saying he has big teeth?
No, small feet.
I am not into false flattery.
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This thread just got amaaaaaazing! Hahaha!0
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Same thing happens to women, too. I've had a few guy friends in the past that tell me I'm cute or pretty, but when it comes down to dating me I'm either too chubby or too ethnic for them. I'm just glad I've found the guy I want to marry, so I hopefully won't have to deal with that BS anymore.0
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"Too ethnic"?? What. The. Eff?malavika413 wrote: »Same thing happens to women, too. I've had a few guy friends in the past that tell me I'm cute or pretty, but when it comes down to dating me I'm either too chubby or too ethnic for them. I'm just glad I've found the guy I want to marry, so I hopefully won't have to deal with that BS anymore.
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This woman is being fake with you and she is not your friend.
People can be very fake, both men and women and over a lot of stuff. Like friends that say they love your music but wont listen to it. Say you are a great cook but wont eat anything you make. They will tell you what a great writer you are but wont read any of it and so on. People like this, most of the time are not your real friends and more often then not talk very poorly of you behind your back. They are just feeding you bs because they want to keep you around for what ever reason. Yes both genders do this but women tend to do it more. So this person doesnt think you are a catch first because they most likely have no respect for you, and second they are most likely not even your friend, you are just another person for them to use.
Fake friend = you are such a catch
Real friend= I know just the right person for you, I will bring them by later
Fake friends will just tell you they want to see you do better. Real friends want to see you do well, and will get their hands a little dirty to make it happen.0 -
Sounds to me like OP was/is in the friend zone...and the silence form "that girl" is evidence.. JUST chalk it up to experience and look for a lady frined THAT is NOT a friend... OR... challenga your "girlfriends" to hook you up with someone interested in "a catch" ... if you don't get bites there... well then there's always.. *ahem*0
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Oh - I've also never heard of "phony fatso flattery" before...
I've never heard it called that.. but it's those friends who start working really hard to tell you you're not fat and there's nothing wrong with you when you start taking steps to improve yourself. If it were women doing it to another woman I'd chalk it up to insecurity.
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CrusaderSam wrote: »This woman is being fake with you and she is not your friend.
People can be very fake, both men and women and over a lot of stuff. Like friends that say they love your music but wont listen to it. Say you are a great cook but wont eat anything you make. They will tell you what a great writer you are but wont read any of it and so on. People like this, most of the time are not your real friends and more often then not talk very poorly of you behind your back. They are just feeding you bs because they want to keep you around for what ever reason. Yes both genders do this but women tend to do it more. So this person doesnt think you are a catch first because they most likely have no respect for you, and second they are most likely not even your friend, you are just another person for them to use.
Fake friend = you are such a catch
Real friend= I know just the right person for you, I will bring them by later
Fake friends will just tell you they want to see you do better. Real friends want to see you do well, and will get their hands a little dirty to make it happen.
Right because they aren't a real friend if they don't also go out and FIND a girlfriend for you? Give me a break. How many of us actually have the perfect person to set all our single friends up with, fat or skinny? I sure as heck don't. I have NEVER set a friend up or been set up. I can be your best friend, love you and still tell you to pull up your big boy pants and go find your own people to bang. You don't have to"get your hands dirty" in your friends dating life in order to be a real friend.0 -
MsHarryWinston wrote: »
"Too ethnic"?? What. The. Eff?malavika413 wrote: »Same thing happens to women, too. I've had a few guy friends in the past that tell me I'm cute or pretty, but when it comes down to dating me I'm either too chubby or too ethnic for them. I'm just glad I've found the guy I want to marry, so I hopefully won't have to deal with that BS anymore.
No one here wants to date an Indian girl. I have actually heard "You're cute, but I don't do darker girls" and "Don't your parents have a 45 year old lined up for you?" I think the second guy was joking, but it stings. If current relationship doesn't work out long-term, I'm moving somewhere with more diversity.0 -
MsHarryWinston wrote: »
"Too ethnic"?? What. The. Eff?malavika413 wrote: »Same thing happens to women, too. I've had a few guy friends in the past that tell me I'm cute or pretty, but when it comes down to dating me I'm either too chubby or too ethnic for them. I'm just glad I've found the guy I want to marry, so I hopefully won't have to deal with that BS anymore.
I was "too white" for the guy I dated for 2 years.
that knife cuts quick but is still somehow as dull and ignorant as ever.
it happens. seriously. it's the dumbest thing ever.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »
"Too ethnic"?? What. The. Eff?malavika413 wrote: »Same thing happens to women, too. I've had a few guy friends in the past that tell me I'm cute or pretty, but when it comes down to dating me I'm either too chubby or too ethnic for them. I'm just glad I've found the guy I want to marry, so I hopefully won't have to deal with that BS anymore.
No one here wants to date an Indian girl. I have actually heard "You're cute, but I don't do darker girls" and "Don't your parents have a 45 year old lined up for you?" I think the second guy was joking, but it stings. If current relationship doesn't work out long-term, I'm moving somewhere with more diversity.
Well, I DO hope your current relationship works if you are happy, but if not, definitely move! You deserve much better treatment than that. Goodness, talk about closed-minded people...0 -
CrusaderSam wrote: »This woman is being fake with you and she is not your friend.
People can be very fake, both men and women and over a lot of stuff. Like friends that say they love your music but wont listen to it. Say you are a great cook but wont eat anything you make. They will tell you what a great writer you are but wont read any of it and so on. People like this, most of the time are not your real friends and more often then not talk very poorly of you behind your back. They are just feeding you bs because they want to keep you around for what ever reason. Yes both genders do this but women tend to do it more. So this person doesnt think you are a catch first because they most likely have no respect for you, and second they are most likely not even your friend, you are just another person for them to use.
Fake friend = you are such a catch
Real friend= I know just the right person for you, I will bring them by later
Fake friends will just tell you they want to see you do better. Real friends want to see you do well, and will get their hands a little dirty to make it happen.
Really?
Honestly, if I'm telling a guy (friend or acquaintance) he's a great catch, it's pretty much language for: I like you, but not in that way. 'Cause otherwise, I'd already have asked if he was interested in a date with me.
If I knew someone off the top of my head that I think would make a great date for him, then sure, I'd offer to put them in contact after asking the other person to see if they're interested. But most of the time, I don't know anyone like that. Most of my friends are married. Or divorced and not interested in dating.
Guess I'm a fake friend because I'm not Match.com.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »MsHarryWinston wrote: »
"Too ethnic"?? What. The. Eff?malavika413 wrote: »Same thing happens to women, too. I've had a few guy friends in the past that tell me I'm cute or pretty, but when it comes down to dating me I'm either too chubby or too ethnic for them. I'm just glad I've found the guy I want to marry, so I hopefully won't have to deal with that BS anymore.
No one here wants to date an Indian girl. I have actually heard "You're cute, but I don't do darker girls" and "Don't your parents have a 45 year old lined up for you?" I think the second guy was joking, but it stings. If current relationship doesn't work out long-term, I'm moving somewhere with more diversity.
awe that's not entirely true- my rather Irish corworker would!!! wow- he's happily married- but has been clear he's interest spans the rainbow!!!0 -
I don't know if it was phony flattery or not, but I feel that as friends, their responses/reactions should have been different?
Unless, you're not really close friends, but more along the lines of associates.
Some people are not attracted to bigger people, it is what it is. Some people are.
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CrusaderSam wrote: »This woman is being fake with you and she is not your friend.
Fake friend = you are such a catch
Real friend= I know just the right person for you, I will bring them by later
Fake friends will just tell you they want to see you do better. Real friends want to see you do well, and will get their hands a little dirty to make it happen.
This is just silly, I will help someone move, bring them food when they are sick or watch their kid or even hold their hair while they vomit but I'm no one's pimp. If I genuinely thought two of my friends would work out I may introduce them but really I'm 31 and the youngest of my friends. Most of them are on their second marriage at this point, the only people I know that are single anymore are guys. I guess that makes me fake and a liar if I tell one of them I'd like to see them happy right?
All the guys posting so ready to jump on the women are fake train seem to miss the fact that the original poster made 'friends' with hot girls with the expectation of being more than friends. I'm sorry but I think that makes him less of a catch if he's being disingenuous with his friends. She was put in an awkward situation by someone she thought was her friend and wasn't sure how to proceed without hurting him further that doesn't mean she had lied to him. If anything it means she still cares about his feelings, because she could have flat out told him she wasn't interested instead of trying to be nice about it.
Do any of you guys actually believe what you are saying or just in the habit of bashing any woman who doesn't want to sleep with you?0 -
CrusaderSam wrote: »This woman is being fake with you and she is not your friend.
People can be very fake, both men and women and over a lot of stuff. Like friends that say they love your music but wont listen to it. Say you are a great cook but wont eat anything you make. They will tell you what a great writer you are but wont read any of it and so on. People like this, most of the time are not your real friends and more often then not talk very poorly of you behind your back. They are just feeding you bs because they want to keep you around for what ever reason. Yes both genders do this but women tend to do it more.
My point is this ^^ happens. Honestly, I never tell girls that they are all these great things if I'm not interested in them. You can fill the air with all kinds of conversation without leading someone on. And all this "just friends" talk baffles me! It's a default position, but if any two of your friends got together, you would dance in the streets and say "it's about time, you two!"0
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