PLEASE HELP

Nimco4930

Good morning everyone,

As you might imagine from the title I've had enough with myself, I need to get my act together I always feel like I have no control of what I consume these days. But all this has to stop together, I need to educate myself, I need to grow stronger, I need a stronger friends unit here, so people please add me & I will add you back I desperately need the motivation. Also I have to stop with the excuses that I live with my parents and eat what comes my way. Not to mention my sister always bakes, which I told myself last night that I wouldn't have a piece of that cake. I was good for a while till I went downstairs and before you know I cut myself a piece a small piece.

What am I to do if I can't even keep true to my own words.

Please help, advice me I want to lose the weight STARTING TODAY.

Thanks for reading.

fearlessleader104

one day at a time

SnuggleSmacks

Moderation can be a very difficult thing to learn when you have so many temptations around, and feel as though you have little control. But you do. You might not have much say in what is being served, but you absolutely have control over how much of it you put in your mouth. Congratulations on making the decision to do that!

PotentiallyCrazy

Maybe the most important thing is not to be too hard on yourself. Yes, resolve what to do & not do, but we are all human. You said you had a small piece of the cake. That's better than going overboard & scarfing down half the cake. You may feel like you have no control because you give into these things, but you can show some restraint by only having a small amount, half a serving, etc. That is not a bad thing, because if you try to go too long without these things (especially if they're all around you because of family/friends), you might snap & go on a binge. That's happened to me. Give yourself the permission for small amounts of such things, & balance it out with more healthy things & some exercise. Like they say, moderation. It works!

SnuggleSmacks

PotentiallyCrazy makes a very not-so-crazy point. The most important thing is to develop a healthy relationship with food. That will help you not only take the weight off, but keep it off for life, without struggling or restricting or being miserable.

Food should never be a source of guilt or shame unless you stole it. There is no good/bad or black/white scenario with food. Everything you eat (or do, for that matter) is on a scale from not so healthy to very healthy. It's much more nuanced than good food or bad food. Remove those labels from your vocabulary. See also: cheat day/meal. You're a grown up. You can make a grown up decision to make an exception to your eating plan, and you're not cheating on anything because you are answerable only to yourself. Obviously, in order to lose the weight, you wouldn't want to make that exception every day, but eating over your calories is nothing to beat yourself up over, or get upset about. All you're doing is delaying the day you reach your goal, not ruining anything or undoing progress or committing any kind of sin.

Nimco4930

fearlessleader104 wrote: »

one day at a time

Thanks I know, after reading everyone's reply and reading back the post I started, I can see that I was quite harsh on myself, I guess it comes from feeling a bit down that I have yet to drop what I intended to lose if that makes sense.

Nimco4930

SnuggleSmacks wrote: »

Moderation can be a very difficult thing to learn when you have so many temptations around, and feel as though you have little control. But you do. You might not have much say in what is being served, but you absolutely have control over how much of it you put in your mouth. Congratulations on making the decision to do that!

Thanks Snuggle, I now understand, I guess I thought I could have some control but your right I need to understand that temptations are all around is it is how we handle them. Also from now on I will try and be less harsh on myself and learn.

Nimco4930

PotentiallyCrazy wrote: »

Maybe the most important thing is not to be too hard on yourself. Yes, resolve what to do & not do, but we are all human. You said you had a small piece of the cake. That's better than going overboard & scarfing down half the cake. You may feel like you have no control because you give into these things, but you can show some restraint by only having a small amount, half a serving, etc. That is not a bad thing, because if you try to go too long without these things (especially if they're all around you because of family/friends), you might snap & go on a binge. That's happened to me. Give yourself the permission for small amounts of such things, & balance it out with more healthy things & some exercise. Like they say, moderation. It works!

Hi potentially crazy, thanks for the amazing advice and your right because I do sometimes end up binging and I have to have a balance which means not cutting it all out but reducing it. Thanks again and fingers cross I hope it works.

Nimco4930

SnuggleSmacks wrote: »

PotentiallyCrazy makes a very not-so-crazy point. The most important thing is to develop a healthy relationship with food. That will help you not only take the weight off, but keep it off for life, without struggling or restricting or being miserable.

Food should never be a source of guilt or shame unless you stole it. There is no good/bad or black/white scenario with food. Everything you eat (or do, for that matter) is on a scale from not so healthy to very healthy. It's much more nuanced than good food or bad food. Remove those labels from your vocabulary. See also: cheat day/meal. You're a grown up. You can make a grown up decision to make an exception to your eating plan, and you're not cheating on anything because you are answerable only to yourself. Obviously, in order to lose the weight, you wouldn't want to make that exception every day, but eating over your calories is nothing to beat yourself up over, or get upset about. All you're doing is delaying the day you reach your goal, not ruining anything or undoing progress or committing any kind of sin.

Thanks Snuggle, really great advice and at times I do feel like I make myself feel guilty especially mentally I regret it which is obviously not healthy. Life is hard!!

Spocky

Maybe it is a good idea to get a tiny plate and when they cook some good looking meal, you can get a little amount to that tiny plate so that you can feel the taste. I am on a strict diet but of course I miss foods I like so I only eat a little bit of them. Today I will eat half an isler cookie.

Nimco4930

Spocky wrote: »

Maybe it is a good idea to get a tiny plate and when they cook some good looking meal, you can get a little amount to that tiny plate so that you can feel the taste. I am on a strict diet but of course I miss foods I like so I only eat a little bit of them. Today I will eat half an isler cookie.

That's a really good idea, I will definitely try it.
thanks

SnuggleSmacks

I have a few smaller plates and special bowls to present food in a beautiful way. I think it helps with satiety when you make your food special...use smaller servings, make them pretty, eat mindfully without trying to multitask. Try not eating in front of the TV or computer. A smaller but beautifully presented meal eaten slow enough to savor is often way more satisfying than a bigger meal eaten in a rush while distracted.

999tigger

You hit the nail on the head when you said its about education. You need the knowledge to enable you to see exactly why you should be doing things and how to achieve it. Without that your inner mind can help persuade yourself to take the easy route.

the stickies on these forums are always a good start. Just two phrases you use:

I've had enough with myself

Actually its not yourself you have had enough of but the situation. You need to be kind to yourself and supportive if you want to get from A to B. Blaming and recriminating is pointless, supporting, hinesty and self motivating will get you further.

I have no control of what I consume these days

Yes you do. You make choices all the time. Just make the choices that point towards target and be determined about it.

Capt_Apollo

i am very proud of you. you cut yourself a small piece of cake, instead of the giant piece that you probably wanted. that shows a lot of willpower.

JGonzo82

I baked a ridiculous cake this weekend...I ate a slice after lunch today. Not a big deal. It's all about moderation. You can completely eliminate all the foods you enjoy & be miserable (and then beat yourself up when you inevitably "slip up"), or you can find a way to make room in your daily calorie budget to fit in something you really want.

Sharon_C

Quit beating yourself up over one small piece of cake. You're allowed to have cake. You're allowed to have anything you want as long as you don't go overboard. I never deny myself food but I've learned to eat in moderation. This isn't a jail sentence. This shouldn't be about denying yourself. You can lose weight and enjoy life at the same time. I promise.

Nimco4930

999tigger wrote: »

You hit the nail on the head when you said its about education. You need the knowledge to enable you to see exactly why you should be doing things and how to achieve it. Without that your inner mind can help persuade yourself to take the easy route.

the stickies on these forums are always a good start. Just two phrases you use:

I've had enough with myself

Actually its not yourself you have had enough of but the situation. You need to be kind to yourself and supportive if you want to get from A to B. Blaming and recriminating is pointless, supporting, hinesty and self motivating will get you further.

I have no control of what I consume these days

Yes you do. You make choices all the time. Just make the choices that point towards target and be determined about it.

Thanks Tigger, I am now seeing this more clearer, and I went to the gym this morning need to log it, and it's a new day, so here I come

Nimco4930

Capt_Apollo wrote: »

i am very proud of you. you cut yourself a small piece of cake, instead of the giant piece that you probably wanted. that shows a lot of willpower.

Thanks Capt, I was never a sweet tooth, I am more of a savoury person if I'm honest so I can resist more sweet items than savoury ones.

Nimco4930

JGonzo82 wrote: »

I baked a ridiculous cake this weekend...I ate a slice after lunch today. Not a big deal. It's all about moderation. You can completely eliminate all the foods you enjoy & be miserable (and then beat yourself up when you inevitably "slip up"), or you can find a way to make room in your daily calorie budget to fit in something you really want.

That you are very right about and I'm just starting to understand and learn, I really need to stick to it and read more about nutrition.

Nimco4930

Sharon_C wrote: »

Quit beating yourself up over one small piece of cake. You're allowed to have cake. You're allowed to have anything you want as long as you don't go overboard. I never deny myself food but I've learned to eat in moderation. This isn't a jail sentence. This shouldn't be about denying yourself. You can lose weight and enjoy life at the same time. I promise.

Thanks Sharon, and I'm starting to see more sense now, before I just thought you just had to eliminate it and go cold turkey.

PotentiallyCrazy

The idea of using little plates is a very good one! I try to do this. Or use a larger plate but try to fill at least half of it with veggies. I've learned that adding veggies is a good strategy. Granted, it's easier if you like veggies...

Something I used to do when packing a sandwich to take to work: instead of making a regular sandwich, I used just one slice of multigrain bread (something with fiber in it) cut in half, with a normal serving size of meat (usually turkey or chicken), & then piled on the veggies... lettuce, spinach, tomato, cucumber, sprouts.. Then I started having carrot sticks or apple slices on the side instead of chips. Much more filling, & involves a lot more chewing, so it gives your body a little more time to process the fact that it's getting filled up. It takes your body some time to figure out that it's not hungry anymore. Weight Watchers (I used to be in) advises their members to put their fork down between bites & chew longer, instead of mindlessly gulping the food.

CarrieCans

I like the little plate idea but i think my eyes would feel deprived. Another plate idea is those picnic plates, the divided ones with one big section and 2 little sections.

An ex of mine tried it on my suggestion and he lost a lot of weight. You put your lowest calorie items (broccoli, salad, etc.) in the big section, then you put your meat and fat or calorie packed items (mashed potatoes, pasta, etc.) in the two smaller sections. If you have more than 3 dinner items then you put the worst 2 or best 2 together depending on how many calories there are in each dish.

Nimco4930

PotentiallyCrazy wrote: »

The idea of using little plates is a very good one! I try to do this. Or use a larger plate but try to fill at least half of it with veggies. I've learned that adding veggies is a good strategy. Granted, it's easier if you like veggies...

Something I used to do when packing a sandwich to take to work: instead of making a regular sandwich, I used just one slice of multigrain bread (something with fiber in it) cut in half, with a normal serving size of meat (usually turkey or chicken), & then piled on the veggies... lettuce, spinach, tomato, cucumber, sprouts.. Then I started having carrot sticks or apple slices on the side instead of chips. Much more filling, & involves a lot more chewing, so it gives your body a little more time to process the fact that it's getting filled up. It takes your body some time to figure out that it's not hungry anymore. Weight Watchers (I used to be in) advises their members to put their fork down between bites & chew longer, instead of mindlessly gulping the food.

Yes, I also have a bad habit of not making prepared-packed lunch with me, which I am hoping to start to incorporate into my daily schedule.

Also, the sandwich idea, is great though I am not the biggest fan of snacking, and the vegetable ideas, are great I'm a big vegetable eater, so I will definitely do that.

Nimco4930

CarrieCans wrote: »

I like the little plate idea but i think my eyes would feel deprived. Another plate idea is those picnic plates, the divided ones with one big section and 2 little sections.

An ex of mine tried it on my suggestion and he lost a lot of weight. You put your lowest calorie items (broccoli, salad, etc.) in the big section, then you put your meat and fat or calorie packed items (mashed potatoes, pasta, etc.) in the two smaller sections. If you have more than 3 dinner items then you put the worst 2 or best 2 together depending on how many calories there are in each dish.

Thanks for that Carrie, now it's all up to me to start introducing it slowly into my life.

Many thanks guys, you have all been extremely helpful and very kind.

TuffChixRule

Drinking water also helps with the cravings. I try to drink at least 16 ounces of water before I eat. It fills me up and I eat less. I'm also fighting to cut back on the processed foods and the high fat foods, believe me it's hard and I gave into my pumpkin pie craving last night. But all things in moderation, so I don't feel guilty.

You can do this, to your success