Making a Lifestyle Change (or Plus Sized and OK with it)
CrmpetsNTea
Posts: 23 Member
Good morning!
Hi, I'm Tina, aka Tea. I've successfully completed my first week with MFP, which included two holiday mine fields that I didn't blow too badly. Yay, me!
Browsing the boards, I see a lot of people here starting this journey wanting to completely transform themselves, and that's great. However, I'm not one of those people. I'm plus sized and I'm more than ok with it. My weight loss goal is 55 lbs, which will still leave me firmly in the Plus category when all is said and done. I'm looking to get healthier, watch what I eat, and sure, lose weight, but I REALLY want to feel better and improve my health overall. I don't want to develop diabetes or any other conditions that my doctor warns me about.
I'm tossing that out here in the hopes that I can meet some other like minded people as I start this journey. It's very nice to meet you, I hope we can be friends.
~Tina
Hi, I'm Tina, aka Tea. I've successfully completed my first week with MFP, which included two holiday mine fields that I didn't blow too badly. Yay, me!
Browsing the boards, I see a lot of people here starting this journey wanting to completely transform themselves, and that's great. However, I'm not one of those people. I'm plus sized and I'm more than ok with it. My weight loss goal is 55 lbs, which will still leave me firmly in the Plus category when all is said and done. I'm looking to get healthier, watch what I eat, and sure, lose weight, but I REALLY want to feel better and improve my health overall. I don't want to develop diabetes or any other conditions that my doctor warns me about.
I'm tossing that out here in the hopes that I can meet some other like minded people as I start this journey. It's very nice to meet you, I hope we can be friends.
~Tina
0
Replies
-
Interesting, I haven't thought about this before. Why do you want to be over-weight but not as over-weight as you are now?
Congratulations on completing your first week!0 -
My goal is to change my lifestyle and after a little over 3 months it is working. It takes work and commitment. I like to cook so I try to find alternative ways to prepare dishes that cut down on the fat and sugar and being diligent about measuring portions. When people comment that I'm dieting, I say no I'm not, I'm changing my lifestyle. I haven't given up anything, but if I have some sort of a treat, I make sure it's a small portion. I stumbled over the holiday, but am back at it!
Sent you a request!!0 -
Interesting, I haven't thought about this before. Why do you want to be over-weight but not as over-weight as you are now?
Congratulations on completing your first week!
Thank you for the congratulations!
I'm glad I gave you something to think about, but I am going to follow that up with a question or two: Why do I have to want to be thin in the first place? Why can't a fat girl like her body and want to be healthy without it being a contradiction? It's society's norm. I don't have to conform to a body image that doesn't make me happy. Losing the weight will make it less likely of me developing diabetes and lessen my risk of heart disease, among other things. I will be stronger, more flexible, and better able to do the things I want to do. YMMV!
0 -
If you think at a specific poundage loss you suddenly and miraculously feel better and are healthy, I've got bad news for you. The goal itself is great, being healthier is more important than looking good, but I'd be cautious about attaching a specific number to that. That's not how it works.0
-
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »Interesting, I haven't thought about this before. Why do you want to be over-weight but not as over-weight as you are now?
Congratulations on completing your first week!
Thank you for the congratulations!
I'm glad I gave you something to think about, but I am going to follow that up with a question or two: Why do I have to want to be thin in the first place? Why can't a fat girl like her body and want to be healthy without it being a contradiction? It's society's norm. I don't have to conform to a body image that doesn't make me happy. Losing the weight will make it less likely of me developing diabetes and lessen my risk of heart disease, among other things. I will be stronger, more flexible, and better able to do the things I want to do. YMMV!
A fat girl can of course love her body. The reality is, though, there are zero benefits of being overweight from a health standpoint, an athletic standpoint, or a social standpoint. I say a social standpoint because if I were still an overweight boy, and I met a girl who I really like and she is very active, I want to be able to keep up with her. I want to bond with her over our mutual physical capabilities. If she wants to run a 10k, I want to be able to do it. If she wants to hike a 5,000 foot mountain, I want to be able to do it. I don't want my physical ability to limit the people I can spend quality time with.
I am also very into playing basketball. If I am not in the best athletic shape I can be then I'd be inefficient on the court. I'd get tired easily and it wouldn't be fun for me anymore. My friends play basketball too, and I want to be able to keep up with them. I want absolutely zero physical restrictions in my life.
I don't conform to the social norm, I conform to my own social expectations. I am someone who struggled in high school meeting people and making friends because my weight held me back from activities I enjoyed. I lacked confidence in my abilities because, honestly, my abilities were s***t.
So you don't have to want to be thin. But there is no reason to not want to be the best you can be. Just because it is a social norm to be fit doesn't mean being fit is a negative thing. There is nothing to gain by being a hipster in this case, IMO.0 -
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »Interesting, I haven't thought about this before. Why do you want to be over-weight but not as over-weight as you are now?
Congratulations on completing your first week!
Thank you for the congratulations!
I'm glad I gave you something to think about, but I am going to follow that up with a question or two: Why do I have to want to be thin in the first place? Why can't a fat girl like her body and want to be healthy without it being a contradiction? It's society's norm. I don't have to conform to a body image that doesn't make me happy. Losing the weight will make it less likely of me developing diabetes and lessen my risk of heart disease, among other things. I will be stronger, more flexible, and better able to do the things I want to do. YMMV!
I have no issue with people setting their own goals, outside of the norm, for whatever reason.
But, no one said anything about being thin, or you needing to want to. No one said anything about society, expectations, or conforming, either. That's all you.
Losing weight will improve your health, but if health is your concern, why stop at still being "overweight"? That, I don't understand. If you wanted to lose a few pounds for vanity, sure - embrace your goal, your body, your curves. But if your goal really is health, why stop before you're at an optimal weight for said health? It's like saying, "I want to run a 5k, but I'm going to stop at mile 2, because that's good enough!".
I don't think anyone should be forced to lose a certain amount of weight for any reason, and women should love themselves and their bodies no matter what. But your reasoning really confuses me.
Anyway, best of luck to you.0 -
The contradiction is that fat is not healthy, at least not in excess. It is great that you love your body just the way it is. But what is wrong with being healthy and happy with your body? Losing weight doesn't make you love your body - a lot of women find this out the hard way. I would not attach a numeric value to your weight loss journey. Just start! Once you start losing weight and can do things like run up the stairs without getting out of breath you will feel like a new world has opened up, or at least I did.
My own journey has led to me to an addiction with obstacle course races (mud runs) and now I strive to lose weight and get fit to perform better. I dropped the wanting to be thin for others a long time ago.....I focus on eating nutritious whole foods at a deficit and training for my races. I love the hourglass shape that has been emerging, but what I love most is that my body can scale 10ft walls, climb mountains, and crawl through mud.
The only limits that exist are the ones in your mind.
Best of luck!0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »Losing weight will improve your health, but if health is your concern, why stop at still being "overweight"? That, I don't understand. If you wanted to lose a few pounds for vanity, sure - embrace your goal, your body, your curves. But if your goal really is health, why stop before you're at an optimal weight for said health? It's like saying, "I want to run a 5k, but I'm going to stop at mile 2, because that's good enough!".
You're basically saying that you're willing to sacrifice your health so that you can maintain a plus size look.
0 -
I totally get what the OP is saying in the original post. I am "big boned", and although I lost a bunch of weight once (from 260 to 190), it was extremely hard to keep it at 190, to the point that my life was miserable. I rebounded to around 210-220 and was there for a couple of years, feeling great but still "overweight" according to the cahrts, BMI, and the fact that I could pinch a pretty good roll of fat from my middle :-)
basically, i thnk some body types (big boned? LOL), wil never be like the amazing transformations you see here in some of the awesome Success Stories section. So it's not that I wouldn;t LIKE to be thin, it's that I am being realistic about what my body can do. Hopefully I am wrong and i will get a six pack this time!! :-)0 -
Baby steps
Get your head right and feel the buzz that comes with getting strong and fit and losing weight and you will keep going until you are the best you can be ...it's a journey (whispers: without end, that's the big secret).
I think for the OP her targets are what she has bought into that allows her to commit without fear at this stage of her journey ...good for you ...and good luck0 -
These responses are just irritating. It is completely possible to be "plus sized" and 100% fit and healthy. I hate that the misconception that this is not possible exists... because "plus sized" is subjective, people. I do believe that the OP mentioned a specific weight loss goal in which she believes she will still feel comfortable in her own body, be healthier and happier, and still maintain the curvy figure that she desires. We all mention our "number" goals on this site- and this is her goal; not anywhere did I see her mention that once she reached this goal she would "miraculously" be the fittest and healthiest she could possibly be. As crazy as it sounds, this is just not the goal for some people (me included). She said she wanted to feel better and improve her overall health and unless I am sorely mistaken (which I'm not), the road to losing 55 pounds by incorporating healthy eating and exercise habits, along with the final loss of 55 pounds will absolutely help her obtain this goal of feeling better and decreasing her chances of diabetes, etc.
I think a little research needs to be done-- a mere 10% reduction in body weight has a TREMENDOUS effect on one's health, including
feeling better and lowering one's chance of diabetes and heart disease (her exact goal. Gasp.)
ETA: this was typed out before several other responses were posted.0 -
These responses are just irritating. It is completely possible to be "plus sized" and 100% fit and healthy. I hate that the misconception that this is not possible exists... because "plus sized" is subjective, people. I do believe that the OP mentioned a specific weight loss goal in which she believes she will still feel comfortable in her own body, be healthier and happier, and still maintain the curvy figure that she desires. We all mention our "number" goals on this site- and this is her goal; not anywhere did I see her mention that once she reached this goal she would "miraculously" be the fittest and healthiest she could possibly be. As crazy as it sounds, this is just not the goal for some people (me included). She said she wanted to feel better and improve her overall health and unless I am sorely mistaken (which I'm not), the road to losing 55 pounds by incorporating healthy eating and exercise habits, along with the final loss of 55 pounds will absolutely help her obtain this goal of feeling better and decreasing her chances of diabetes, etc.
I think a little research needs to be done-- a mere 10% reduction in body weight has a TREMENDOUS effect on one's health, including
feeling better and lowering one's chance of diabetes and heart disease (her exact goal. Gasp.)
No there is no health benefits of being, as she said she wants to be, overweight. I much rather nearly eliminate my chances of diabetes instead of just lower my chances. But I suppose everyone can make their own choices...I just come from the mindset that if my name is attached to the activity, I am going to do it 100% as best I can. I will not just go 90% of the way then say, "Good enough."
It is great that she is doing what she is doing now, but she asked us a question, and we responded! It isn't anything personal. Anyone who makes changes to their life for the good is doing the right thing, I just don't understand why some people don't want to go the extra 10% just because it is a bit more difficult.0 -
Am I right in thinking that "plus-size" means over-weight?
Tea I don't think that this has to do with self-confidence / self-acceptance. You talk about health being your motivation in your first post. By definition being over-weight is not healthy, so I'm not sure why you'd stop at an unhealthy weight.
You ask me to consider the question yourself, but I haven't lost weight to be thin. I was 11st 11lb at my highest, I lost weight to be healthy.0 -
I understand how you feel - regarding being healthy. I started at 244, 5'2" with a goal weight of 175 (this was something that my doctor and I came to agreement on for health reasons). I really don't recall how I felt at 175 but I remember telling a close friend my goal and her comment that "when I get there I might want to keep going" that comment crushed me but also made change my goal to 150. That is basically were I am now though my goal has been 144. I went from a size 18/20w to 2/4 petite, smaller than I have ever been as an adult, but still considered 'overweight'! That number on the scale is deceiving, only you know where you will be the happiest. I also totally understand the frustration from reading some of the forums, I would not look good being under 120 pounds based on my height, given my body shape and genetic makeup! Pick your goal, still read the forums - they help keep the motivation up but still be true to yourself. You will do great!!!0
-
I think for the OP her targets are what she has bought into that allows her to commit without fear at this stage of her journey ...good for you ...and good luck
I was thinking this. I also wonder if she feels that setting a goal that is less than over-weight is somehow betraying her over-weight self and/or others.
0 -
That sounds as settling for less than what you know you can do.
Love your body, your curves and love yourself, but I wouldn't want to keep my curves if it meant health problems in the long run and regret not being healthier (focus on healthier, not thinner) when I had the opportunity.0 -
Remember Tea, we aren't criticizing you just to be harsh. I've spent the past year and a half grinding through this journey. We are just giving you an alternate way of looking at things because many of us have been in your position. You ultimately get to decide what you want to do. 55 pounds is a great goal to set and it will take lots of dedication. I am only suggesting that, if you set your goal to 55 pounds and will still be overweight after you reach it, you might want to set that goal to 65 pounds of 70 pounds. Then you can even gain back those 10 extra pounds you lose through progressive weight training and lean body mass over the year or two after your original weight loss. It will be slightly harder, but the heath rewards will exponentially be greater.
Ignore the social norms or the expectations other people set. Just consider doing what you have to do to be the healthiest you can be.0 -
Personally I love your attitude about this. This is a weight loss site so a lot of people here are going to be critical of your goal, because most people have the "thinner is better" mindset.
You CAN be overweight and be healthy. Being overweight puts you at a greater risk for being unhealthy, but it doesn't make you unhealthy automatically. I think it's great that you want to lose weight for the health aspect, but still love your body and are fine with not being skinny.
I've never been truly overweight, but I don't have a naturally "thin" body either. I've got big hips and thighs, and my BMI hovers close to the "overweight" line if I'm not careful. Right now I am trying to lose weight because a super fit body is one of my goals. But, for the past year or so I decided to just accept my body for how it was and love it, even though it wasn't "perfect." It was such a great feeling and I really enjoyed not having to watch my diet that closely. I was still healthy, I just had a little extra flab, and I was fine with it. Now, I do want to get rid of that flab.
My point is, your goals can change. After you lose some weight you may realize you feel awesome and you want to lose more than you thought. Or, that might not happen. Either is perfectly fine. The important thing is that you have a positive attitude and you're doing what's right for you. Welcome to MFP and congrats on deciding to lead a healthier lifestyle!0 -
These responses are just irritating. It is completely possible to be "plus sized" and 100% fit and healthy. I hate that the misconception that this is not possible exists... because "plus sized" is subjective, people. I do believe that the OP mentioned a specific weight loss goal in which she believes she will still feel comfortable in her own body, be healthier and happier, and still maintain the curvy figure that she desires. We all mention our "number" goals on this site- and this is her goal; not anywhere did I see her mention that once she reached this goal she would "miraculously" be the fittest and healthiest she could possibly be. As crazy as it sounds, this is just not the goal for some people (me included). She said she wanted to feel better and improve her overall health and unless I am sorely mistaken (which I'm not), the road to losing 55 pounds by incorporating healthy eating and exercise habits, along with the final loss of 55 pounds will absolutely help her obtain this goal of feeling better and decreasing her chances of diabetes, etc.
I think a little research needs to be done-- a mere 10% reduction in body weight has a TREMENDOUS effect on one's health, including
feeling better and lowering one's chance of diabetes and heart disease (her exact goal. Gasp.)
ETA: this was typed out before several other responses were posted.
No one said you have to be thin to be healthy. But if health is her ultimate goal, why stop at the bare minimum? That's the part I don't understand. I'm still overweight, and I'm pretty darn healthy and strong right now. It's not good enough for me though, I *know* I can be healthier and stronger. It's like short changing yourself, IMO. And it makes me sad. I know big goals are overwhelming and scary - I've lost almost 60 pounds so far. I just feel like she's not giving herself enough credit.0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »No one said you have to be thin to be healthy. But if health is her ultimate goal, why stop at the bare minimum? That's the part I don't understand.
Because maybe she LIKES having a bigger, curvier body. Not everyone has to have the same beauty standard. Not everyone has to want to be thin. If she feels comfortable being bigger, and can improve her health at the same time, why is that a problem? Why is that anyone's business but hers?
0 -
Because maybe she LIKES having a bigger, curvier body. Not everyone has to have the same beauty standard. Not everyone has to want to be thin.
I think that some of us are questioning because her goal isn't to be thin or beautiful. It's to be healthy. Being over-weight is not healthy. Being a healthy weight is healthy.Why is that anyone's business but hers?
Because she started a thread "throwing it out there".0 -
Being over-weight is not healthy.
Weight is only one factor in health. Being overweight can make one more susceptible to health problems, but it doesn't per say make a person unhealthy. I'm at a healthy weight and I have overweight friends who have better bloodwork numbers than I do, can run faster and further than I can, and can outperform me in any sport. Am I automatically healthier because I'm at a "healthy" weight and they're not? No. The whole overweight automatically equals unhealthy concept is outdated and incorrect.
0 -
Weight is only one factor in health. Being overweight can make one more susceptible to health problems, but it doesn't per say make a person unhealthy. I'm at a healthy weight and I have overweight friends who have better bloodwork numbers than I do, can run faster and further than I can, and can outperform me in any sport. Am I automatically healthier because I'm at a "healthy" weight and they're not? No. The whole overweight automatically equals unhealthy concept is outdated and incorrect.
We agree that thin does not equal healthy, that's not what is being discussed here.
I also understand that some over-weight people can be healthier than they might otherwise be (eg. fitter or disease-free).
However, being over-weight has (poor) health implications. Diabetes, heart disease, joint problems as well as related to depression and less inclination to exercise.
0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »No one said you have to be thin to be healthy. But if health is her ultimate goal, why stop at the bare minimum? That's the part I don't understand.
Because maybe she LIKES having a bigger, curvier body. Not everyone has to have the same beauty standard. Not everyone has to want to be thin. If she feels comfortable being bigger, and can improve her health at the same time, why is that a problem? Why is that anyone's business but hers?
Oh for crying out loud.
I never said she should have the goal of being thin. I never said that being thin was the answer. In fact, I said pretty much the opposite:TheVirgoddess wrote: »I don't think anyone should be forced to lose a certain amount of weight for any reason, and women should love themselves and their bodies no matter what. But your reasoning really confuses me.
If you're going to cite health as a reason to lose weight, then do it for health. If you just want to lose a few pounds, while remaining overweight, rock on. I do not (and never will) understand having a stopping point in mind when you're working on your health.
And it became my business when she posted about it on public forum. That's how it works.0 -
And PS - you don't have to be overweight to have curves.0
-
TheVirgoddess wrote: »Oh for crying out loud.
I never said she should have the goal of being thin. I never said that being thin was the answer.
Sorry, I should have been more clear there. I wasn't trying to say that you specifically said she should want to be thin, that was more of a general statement. But you said you didn't understand her reasoning and my response to you was that maybe the reasoning is that she feels good, beautiful, in a bigger body.
Anyway, I have too much to do today to argue on an internet forum. My point here is that I think OP has a great attitude, and there's nothing wrong with her wanting to improve her health without getting a 100% fit, ultra healthy body. I also don't think it's appropriate for everyone to question why she doesn't want to push herself to her full potential or whatever. I understand she posted on a public forum, but I don't think she was asking for everyone to question her motives. I'm assuming she just wanted support, which is what I've been trying to provide.
Have a good day, all.0 -
CrmpetsNTea wrote: »Interesting, I haven't thought about this before. Why do you want to be over-weight but not as over-weight as you are now?
Congratulations on completing your first week!
Thank you for the congratulations!
I'm glad I gave you something to think about, but I am going to follow that up with a question or two: Why do I have to want to be thin in the first place? Why can't a fat girl like her body and want to be healthy without it being a contradiction? It's society's norm. I don't have to conform to a body image that doesn't make me happy. Losing the weight will make it less likely of me developing diabetes and lessen my risk of heart disease, among other things. I will be stronger, more flexible, and better able to do the things I want to do. YMMV!
just sounds like an excuse to be lazy.
That's like saying, just because people like having healthy teeth doesn't mean i need to brush. Yes my teeth will not look as nice, and slowly throughout my life my teeth will start to wear more and then eventually betray me. But i'm not conforming to society, what do they know, toothless with a weak purpose is much more important.-1 -
Congratulations on making through your first week! Any goal to be healthier is a great one. I started out with similar goals, just trying to be healthier but not really trying to get to a healthy weight. But when I hit my goal weight I felt so good that I just kept on going! I am now only 3lbs away from no longer being in the "overweight" category! I never dreamed I would make it this far. This may or may not happen to you. Best of luck in your journey to a healthier you! 0
-
I understand your decision and respect it. Your choice.
Why get down to a healthy weight though? Because the stats support that the idea that if you are at a healthy weight then you are likely to live a longer and better life in health terms. Thats important enough for me to want and worth putting the effort in to achieve, You will of course get some benefit if you go some of the journey, but id prefer most of it.
You are talking about reducing your chances of many of todays most popular killers
Heart attacks, strokes, diabetes, brittle bones, arthritis, cancer. Look it up.
On the plus side there was a study which supported the idea that yo yo dieting is much worse than just staying at a constant weight. Iff to the gym now Illl poist it if I remember when I get back.0 -
Wow, I went away to have a healthy lunch and come back to a couple of PMs that there was a "sh@tstorm" happening in my introduction thread were not lying (thank you, lovely people for the warnings! xo)!
First off, thank you all for taking a moment to chime in. While I don't exactly feel welcomed, I think that this is a teaching moment for all those that think that I have to be free of my fat to be healthy and happy.
This is my journey, not yours. My fat is my business, not yours. You do NOT get to judge me. You know NOTHING about my life, history or motivations. I won't be bullied nor shamed into changing my goals to be more palatable to your worldview.
For those of you who have been very welcoming and messaged/friended me, thank you very much. I appreciate your genuine interest and kindness. I hope that we can all meet our goals together!
XO!
Tina0
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 424 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions