How do you stay focused?
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DezIsGettingHealthy
Posts: 22 Member
I've been trying for years to lose weight. I had a successful bout back in 2011, when I lost 62 pounds. Unfortunately, since then, I've gained all of the weight back and have had difficulties with reclaiming some success.
Physically, I'm more than ready to try (and I've been trying constantly, and backslide every time). Mentally, I feel like I'm just blocked. I pull up my big girl panties and start up, but then something happens (either a stressful event, errands that mess up my routine, sabotages, etc) that throws me off course, and I start my self-sabotaging cycle all over again.
I've tried everything I could to motivate myself. I've tried before and after photos, doing this for my kids and my husband, wanting to feel better about myself and feel healthier, using apps and fitness bands, relying on friends to help, keeping it to myself, motivational memes, etc. Nothing is giving me that jolt of inspiration.
It's difficult. I want so badly to make this happen for myself. I'm just having a hard time removing that mental block.
If anyone has dealt with the same kind of difficulties and successfully moved past them, how did you do it? How did you get through the first few weeks of changing your lifestyle? How did you maintain your focus and your drive? How did you tune out all of the saboteurs (because I have a LOT of those in my life)? (Sorry for the bombardment of questions!)
I hate feeling this stuck. I want to be able to do this and move forward, and lose the weight and change my lifestyle.
Physically, I'm more than ready to try (and I've been trying constantly, and backslide every time). Mentally, I feel like I'm just blocked. I pull up my big girl panties and start up, but then something happens (either a stressful event, errands that mess up my routine, sabotages, etc) that throws me off course, and I start my self-sabotaging cycle all over again.
I've tried everything I could to motivate myself. I've tried before and after photos, doing this for my kids and my husband, wanting to feel better about myself and feel healthier, using apps and fitness bands, relying on friends to help, keeping it to myself, motivational memes, etc. Nothing is giving me that jolt of inspiration.
It's difficult. I want so badly to make this happen for myself. I'm just having a hard time removing that mental block.
If anyone has dealt with the same kind of difficulties and successfully moved past them, how did you do it? How did you get through the first few weeks of changing your lifestyle? How did you maintain your focus and your drive? How did you tune out all of the saboteurs (because I have a LOT of those in my life)? (Sorry for the bombardment of questions!)
I hate feeling this stuck. I want to be able to do this and move forward, and lose the weight and change my lifestyle.
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Replies
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Psychiatrists. Find one that you like and see him/her on a regular basis.0
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I know this will sounds simplistic, but motivation doesn't really matter. You just do it. You make a plan, and start. You do it whether you feel motivated or not. You do it no matter what other people say. You do it, even if you seems overwhelming. You do it even if you don't think you can. You continue to do it even after you have days when you feel like you ate everything you could get your hands on that day (or that week). You become resolute.0
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Fearless makes a good point. If you do not see any way to do this, then counseling might help. Weight loss is almost always a head game. (Although some people have physical problems or medications that slow or reverse weight loss.)
The other part is, it is just hard work. I did not have an "A-ha!" moment, nor am I motivated every day to do it. I have established habits of consistently logging, being aware of what you eat, and exercising every day. It takes work to establish habits. There are starts and stops, days when stuff gets in the way. For me, learning those habits did not happen instantly, more like over several months.
Like an author that sets a goal of 3000 words per day, inspiration and motivation do not really have a big part in that.
Recently I got out of the habit of daily logging. My weight stayed level then went up slightly. I have started logging again and it was not as difficult. Habit is a muscle, I had developed it to some extent and had extra work to get it built up again.
I try to focus on the process and not the weight. Just log. Log every day. everything. Once you can do that, the rest seems to fall into place.
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I look at before/after photos
. And I have a habit of wearing my larger shirts then immediately taking it off and wearing my smaller clothes from time to time so I could remind myself what I've accomplished. 0 -
You're procrastinating because you know it's gonna be hard. You're right. It doesn't make it not worth doing. It makes it more worth doing. Stop putting it off just because it's uncomfortable at first. You have done this before. It will be easier this time. You aren't traveling into unknown territory, you're getting yourself back. Don't you want to get your self back? Time for action is now.
“Resist the short term temptation of procrastination; the immediate pleasure and relief that it brings does not fair in comparison to the long lasting damage it does to your dreams and goals.”
― Noel DeJesus0 -
You're procrastinating because you know it's gonna be hard. You're right. It doesn't make it not worth doing. It makes it more worth doing. Stop putting it off just because it's uncomfortable at first. You have done this before. It will be easier this time. You aren't traveling into unknown territory, you're getting yourself back. Don't you want to get your self back? Time for action is now.
“Resist the short term temptation of procrastination; the immediate pleasure and relief that it brings does not fair in comparison to the long lasting damage it does to your dreams and goals.”
― Noel DeJesus
That's definitely a huge part of it. I'm anticipating the discomfort, and it's putting me off. It feels so much easier for me to just give in and give myself that "comfort" than to just dig my heels in and do it.
Thank you for your response. I'm truly taking that to heart!0 -
I know this will sounds simplistic, but motivation doesn't really matter. You just do it. You make a plan, and start. You do it whether you feel motivated or not. You do it no matter what other people say. You do it, even if you seems overwhelming. You do it even if you don't think you can. You continue to do it even after you have days when you feel like you ate everything you could get your hands on that day (or that week). You become resolute.
I think that's very insightful. I've had a friend tell me, "Just do it". I kept thinking about it. "I wish it were that easy". And then I tacked on about 50 excuses as to why I couldn't.
Gah, no excuses, right?0 -
"What doesn't challenge you wont change you" I know how you feel! I believe a lot of people understand. Just take steps in the right direction, don't look at the "END" results and how long it will take and how much it will suck. Just wake up and start, one day at a time. Good luck!!0
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Fearless makes a good point. If you do not see any way to do this, then counseling might help. Weight loss is almost always a head game. (Although some people have physical problems or medications that slow or reverse weight loss.)
The other part is, it is just hard work. I did not have an "A-ha!" moment, nor am I motivated every day to do it. I have established habits of consistently logging, being aware of what you eat, and exercising every day. It takes work to establish habits. There are starts and stops, days when stuff gets in the way. For me, learning those habits did not happen instantly, more like over several months.
Like an author that sets a goal of 3000 words per day, inspiration and motivation do not really have a big part in that.
Recently I got out of the habit of daily logging. My weight stayed level then went up slightly. I have started logging again and it was not as difficult. Habit is a muscle, I had developed it to some extent and had extra work to get it built up again.
I try to focus on the process and not the weight. Just log. Log every day. everything. Once you can do that, the rest seems to fall into place.
I do agree - he makes an excellent point. I've considered talking to a counselor about it. Still am, actually. I just want to see if I can do it on my own without interventions. I might just need it, though.
I think that I'm probably overthinking this entire process. I focus on the results rather than the process, and it trips me up. I think of how I can stay motivated, and it slows me down because I can't keep up with it.
It's a struggle, for sure.0 -
As others have said, you just have to do it, whether you want to or not. Especially on the days you don't feel like doing anything. The statement that I constantly repeat to myself when I don't feel like doing something is a line I read here on the forums a long time ago (paraphrased b/c I can't remember the exact quote): "The time between today and your goal is going to pass whether you do anything or not so you might as well do it." If you do nothing and in 3 month's time look back on today you'll think to yourself that you could've been so much farther along if you had just started on that day.0
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As others have said, you just have to do it, whether you want to or not. Especially on the days you don't feel like doing anything. The statement that I constantly repeat to myself when I don't feel like doing something is a line I read here on the forums a long time ago (paraphrased b/c I can't remember the exact quote): "The time between today and your goal is going to pass whether you do anything or not so you might as well do it." If you do nothing and in 3 month's time look back on today you'll think to yourself that you could've been so much farther along if you had just started on that day.
I think that all the time. I keep looking back at all of the time I wasted, and I'm like, "Man, if I had just kept up with it, I would be much farther along". It can get really discouraging.
It's very true, though. "I might as well do it". That's great thinking.0 -
victoriaalice40 wrote: »"What doesn't challenge you wont change you" I know how you feel! I believe a lot of people understand. Just take steps in the right direction, don't look at the "END" results and how long it will take and how much it will suck. Just wake up and start, one day at a time. Good luck!!
You're absolutely right! I woke up this morning thinking that I needed to just slow down and take my time. I need to just focus on getting myself to the end of the day, then start over again tomorrow, and do it again, and go from there.
Thank you! 0 -
I had yoyo'd for most of my adult life and in July I said enough was enough and have lost 35.9 since then... surround yourself with people who motivate you! Feel free to add me for support. ankdworak0
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And thank you all for the insight!
I've decided to try again today, and just take it a day at a time. So far, I'm doing good. I just want to make sure I keep it going.0 -
Like others said, you're not always going to be motivated. Sometimes you just need to put one foot in front of the other and do it. It's not always going to be fun. Everyone can come up with excuses why they can't, don't have time, etc. What you need to do is take even 15 minutes and do SOMETHING, everyday. Then you can start building on that.0
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I had yoyo'd for most of my adult life and in July I said enough was enough and have lost 35.9 since then... surround yourself with people who motivate you! Feel free to add me for support. ankdworak
Congratulations on your weight loss! That's absolutely fantastic!
I hear you. I'm a chronic yo-yo dieter. It's rough.
I can't wait until I'm in a better place in my journey. I'm getting more and more excited to get myself there!0 -
Like others said, you're not always going to be motivated. Sometimes you just need to put one foot in front of the other and do it. It's not always going to be fun. Everyone can come up with excuses why they can't, don't have time, etc. What you need to do is take even 15 minutes and do SOMETHING, everyday. Then you can start building on that.
That's fantastic advice! Thank you!
That's a huge vice of mine - making excuses. I feel like I'm the queen of them, I do it so often. I need to learn how not to do that.0 -
There are days where I take it an hour (or less) at a time. I just keep telling myself, only 10 more minutes, only 3 more squats etc. What I have found to be helpful is to not obsess over "screwing up". I did it, it's over and I will work harder next time to not do that again. You can't keep beating yourself up over what you did or didn't do in the past. What matters now is today and what you do TODAY. I schedule appts with a trainer so if I don't show, I get an email or a text checking on me. It keeps me accountable and even if I don't feel like it at 6am I still have to go because he will be waiting for me to show up.
You can do this! Take baby steps, you don't have to change your entire lifestyle all at once, that is more likely to make you choose to fail. Start small; change one meal this week, add another next week and so on and so forth. But above all else, weigh and measure your food and track it. If nothing else, it will be eye opening, I know it was for me.0 -
I'm on my way out but fear and failure play a great part as well. Its hard work and its not all joy. One of the things that made me was realising I had control and it was possible to lose weight. I had never really looked into it before.
What you need is the reassurance that you have the strength and determination to make it through to the end rather than it be a failed attempt.
Imo there are many factors and things that make it all a tiny bit easier (use them all) , which when aggregated give you firmer foundations. Many people on here dont prepare properly for the task ahead and get into trouble early on without having a plan B and C and D and E etc.0
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