How do you stay focused?
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I would like to respond with something insightful, but a lot of people up here have already said what I am thinking.
This is all just my opinion, take it or leave it but it has worked for me. Motivation is just what gets you started on the path of healthy living (whether it is to lose weight, be more active, etc.). For me, motivation is the "just do it" factor that others have said. However, in order to remain on that path of healthy living, you must turn those healthy life choices you are motivated to do into a habit, almost to a point when they are second nature. For me, exercising and meal preparation is part of my daily routine like brushing my teeth or taking a shower. It took a while to get to that point but I was motivated to do it because I knew that was a step in the right direction and I enjoyed it. Now I do them whether I feel motivated or not.
The key is find what healthy life choices you enjoy, are motivated to do, and will get you towards your goals. Stick to them (21 day rule comes to mind) and develop them into your normal, daily routine.
Good Luck and Stay Positive0 -
micheledavison39 wrote: »There are days where I take it an hour (or less) at a time. I just keep telling myself, only 10 more minutes, only 3 more squats etc. What I have found to be helpful is to not obsess over "screwing up". I did it, it's over and I will work harder next time to not do that again. You can't keep beating yourself up over what you did or didn't do in the past. What matters now is today and what you do TODAY. I schedule appts with a trainer so if I don't show, I get an email or a text checking on me. It keeps me accountable and even if I don't feel like it at 6am I still have to go because he will be waiting for me to show up.
You can do this! Take baby steps, you don't have to change your entire lifestyle all at once, that is more likely to make you choose to fail. Start small; change one meal this week, add another next week and so on and so forth. But above all else, weigh and measure your food and track it. If nothing else, it will be eye opening, I know it was for me.
Thank you.
That's great insight! That's one of the many things I'm guilty of - focusing on the failures. I'm a bit of a perfectionist. If I fail, I take it harder than I should, and I get really discouraged. I can't be thinking that way, but it's a tough habit to break, for sure.
Yes. Baby steps. I have to keep that in mind. Lol0 -
I'm on my way out but fear and failure play a great part as well. Its hard work and its not all joy. One of the things that made me was realising I had control and it was possible to lose weight. I had never really looked into it before.
What you need is the reassurance that you have the strength and determination to make it through to the end rather than it be a failed attempt.
Imo there are many factors and things that make it all a tiny bit easier (use them all) , which when aggregated give you firmer foundations. Many people on here dont prepare properly for the task ahead and get into trouble early on without having a plan B and C and D and E etc.
I think that reassurance is huge for me. I have days where I don't feel strong at all. I question myself a lot. Which is odd, because hey...I can give birth to children and get tattoos and deal with cuts and scrapes and bruises. I can handle all of those. So it's a wonder why I seemingly can't deal with trying to lose weight and powering through it.
Goodness, I'm glad I posted here. I'm really enjoying the advice I'm getting!0 -
DTrippBarton wrote: »I think that all the time. I keep looking back at all of the time I wasted, and I'm like, "Man, if I had just kept up with it, I would be much farther along". It can get really discouraging.
It's very true, though. "I might as well do it". That's great thinking.
I do the same thing, but in the motivational future-sense. "If I do X today, I will weigh less in one month." For me, I have to look at my actions today as directly controlling my future self. When I make poor choices (go over for calories/skip a workout), I am actively deciding to be unhealthier than I could be in one month. You can't change the past. Forgive the past. Every day is a new day to change your future for the better. It doesn't matter that you lost weight in the past. It doesn't matter that you failed in the past. You exist today. What you do decides how you will feel, how much you will weigh, and how healthy you can be tomorrow.
You need to get to the root of why you give up. Are you setting your goals too high (not everyone can lose 2 lbs/week)? Are you cutting out food groups? Are you getting enough fibre and protein to feel satiated? Are you eating for comfort because you aren't able to deal with emotional issues in your life? Do you place unrealistic expectations on yourself or others and then need to comfort yourself when your expectations are not met? Do you try to change too much at once in your diet/exercise regime? Do you overtrain and burn out? Do you blame external forces/people for your lack of motivation?0 -
Lots of good advice on this thread! And, good for you OP for reading and responding to each.
I'll just add that over thinking it seems to be an issue. DON'T view your gaining the weight back as a failure. It is simply an unplanned detour, but you know the road and you know the journey so you can get back on the correct path.
Make a plan for each day and just do it. I'm sorry others around you aren't supportive, but you simply power on, dismiss any negativity from them and move on without thinking about it. You can't change other people, but you can change YOU.0 -
lpendleton58 wrote: »I would like to respond with something insightful, but a lot of people up here have already said what I am thinking.
This is all just my opinion, take it or leave it but it has worked for me. Motivation is just what gets you started on the path of healthy living (whether it is to lose weight, be more active, etc.). For me, motivation is the "just do it" factor that others have said. However, in order to remain on that path of healthy living, you must turn those healthy life choices you are motivated to do into a habit, almost to a point when they are second nature. For me, exercising and meal preparation is part of my daily routine like brushing my teeth or taking a shower. It took a while to get to that point but I was motivated to do it because I knew that was a step in the right direction and I enjoyed it. Now I do them whether I feel motivated or not.
The key is find what healthy life choices you enjoy, are motivated to do, and will get you towards your goals. Stick to them (21 day rule comes to mind) and develop them into your normal, daily routine.
Good Luck and Stay Positive
Thank you.
That's great advice! I'm definitely going to adopt the "just do it" attitude and turn it into a daily mantra.0 -
I think some of us make weight loss more complicated than it really is and that throws us off track. Start out just monitoring what you eat on a daily basis and then look for areas where you can realistically cut back. That little bit of success can build into a greater focus to continue.
Once you've accomplished something with your diet (noun) then add in some exercise to speed the process up, and maintain some muscle mass and strength, and you're good to go. Don't agonize over bad days or turn them into bad weeks...........move on and get back to it. It's like a job really.0 -
DTrippBarton wrote: »You're procrastinating because you know it's gonna be hard. You're right. It doesn't make it not worth doing. It makes it more worth doing. Stop putting it off just because it's uncomfortable at first. You have done this before. It will be easier this time. You aren't traveling into unknown territory, you're getting yourself back. Don't you want to get your self back? Time for action is now.
“Resist the short term temptation of procrastination; the immediate pleasure and relief that it brings does not fair in comparison to the long lasting damage it does to your dreams and goals.”
― Noel DeJesus
That's definitely a huge part of it. I'm anticipating the discomfort, and it's putting me off. It feels so much easier for me to just give in and give myself that "comfort" than to just dig my heels in and do it.
Thank you for your response. I'm truly taking that to heart!
I will be checking back in on you!!!!!
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britishbroccoli wrote: »DTrippBarton wrote: »I think that all the time. I keep looking back at all of the time I wasted, and I'm like, "Man, if I had just kept up with it, I would be much farther along". It can get really discouraging.
It's very true, though. "I might as well do it". That's great thinking.
I do the same thing, but in the motivational future-sense. "If I do X today, I will weigh less in one month." For me, I have to look at my actions today as directly controlling my future self. When I make poor choices (go over for calories/skip a workout), I am actively deciding to be unhealthier than I could be in one month. You can't change the past. Forgive the past. Every day is a new day to change your future for the better. It doesn't matter that you lost weight in the past. It doesn't matter that you failed in the past. You exist today. What you do decides how you will feel, how much you will weigh, and how healthy you can be tomorrow.
You need to get to the root of why you give up. Are you setting your goals too high (not everyone can lose 2 lbs/week)? Are you cutting out food groups? Are you getting enough fibre and protein to feel satiated? Are you eating for comfort because you aren't able to deal with emotional issues in your life? Do you place unrealistic expectations on yourself or others and then need to comfort yourself when your expectations are not met? Do you try to change too much at once in your diet/exercise regime? Do you overtrain and burn out? Do you blame external forces/people for your lack of motivation?
Are you setting your goals too high (not everyone can lose 2 lbs/week)?
I don't think I am. But on the other hand, I'm sure that everyone has different interpretations of what may or may not be too much. What I've been trying to do is just set 5-pound goals. I don't give myself any set amount of time to lose it. Once I make that goal of 5 pounds, then I move on to another one. I didn't want to put too much pressure on myself to lose it because I know that if I do, that I would eventually say "f--- it" and quit, because I made unsavory choices.
Are you cutting out food groups?
To start out with, no. I didn't want to do a major overhaul in regards to my eating habits, especially because I knew I wouldn't be able to be completely consistent with it.
Are you getting enough fibre and protein to feel satiated?
Thankfully, protein has been a huge part of my meal plans. I may have to pay more attention to my fiber intake, just to see how much I'm taking in.
Are you eating for comfort because you aren't able to deal with emotional issues in your life?
These days, yes. Normally, when I'm upset, I'm the opposite. I have no appetite and I choose not to eat. Although, in the last few months, I've become more of an emotional eater, and it's been disconcerting to me, especially since I've never been that way in the past. I'm constantly under a lot of stress, though. It's been killer on me.
I will say - a lot of my eating has been out of boredom. It helps fill the time. I've been trying to find other things to fill my time, so I don't have to rely on eating. It's tough, though (since I have 3 kids who need me), but I know that I need to find more hobbies.
Do you place unrealistic expectations on yourself or others and then need to comfort yourself when your expectations are not met?
This is me to a T. I'm very guilty of this.
Do you try to change too much at once in your diet/exercise regime?
I'm also very guilty of this. Because of this, I've been trying to take things a lot slower, but I've also found myself mentally burning out a lot faster.
Do you overtrain and burn out?
In this case, no. I try to pace myself as much as I can so I can get my body used to certain levels of physical exertions.
Do you blame external forces/people for your lack of motivation?
I try really hard to take responsibility for my own shortcomings. However, I've been guilty of placing blame on other things (like enablers, the stresses in my life, unforeseen circumstances, etc). At the end of the day, I try to place any kind of blame squarely on myself. I've learned that I can't control anyone else's behaviors, or any situations that arise. I only have control over my own actions, and that's something I need to always be aware of.
Typing all of this up was really helpful. It's nice to take a look at myself in the mirror and seeing what I can work on.0 -
Lots of good advice on this thread! And, good for you OP for reading and responding to each.
I'll just add that over thinking it seems to be an issue. DON'T view your gaining the weight back as a failure. It is simply an unplanned detour, but you know the road and you know the journey so you can get back on the correct path.
Make a plan for each day and just do it. I'm sorry others around you aren't supportive, but you simply power on, dismiss any negativity from them and move on without thinking about it. You can't change other people, but you can change YOU.
Thank you! I'm definitely trying to take every piece of advice in and taking it to heart. I'm very appreciative of everyone taking some time out to share their insight with me. I'm feeling very empowered today!
That's a great way to think of things - not as a failure, but as an unplanned detour. Minor setback, even. I know that setbacks happen all the time, and that we all have to learn how to work through it and move on.0 -
I think some of us make weight loss more complicated than it really is and that throws us off track. Start out just monitoring what you eat on a daily basis and then look for areas where you can realistically cut back. That little bit of success can build into a greater focus to continue.
Once you've accomplished something with your diet (noun) then add in some exercise to speed the process up, and maintain some muscle mass and strength, and you're good to go. Don't agonize over bad days or turn them into bad weeks...........move on and get back to it. It's like a job really.
Yeah, I completely agree with that. It's so easy to make this harder than it really has to be. I overthink things so bad, and it throws me off. It shouldn't have to be difficult, right?
One of my main objectives was to get my eating habits under control before I start to exercise, because I know that if I can't get the first right, then I'll end up wasting the hard work put forth with working out. My husband and I are planning to utilize the gym here, but I want to make sure that I become more consistent with my eating first. Work on one good habit at a time.
I certainly have a lot to work on. Lol. But I'm excited about it.0 -
DTrippBarton wrote: »You're procrastinating because you know it's gonna be hard. You're right. It doesn't make it not worth doing. It makes it more worth doing. Stop putting it off just because it's uncomfortable at first. You have done this before. It will be easier this time. You aren't traveling into unknown territory, you're getting yourself back. Don't you want to get your self back? Time for action is now.
“Resist the short term temptation of procrastination; the immediate pleasure and relief that it brings does not fair in comparison to the long lasting damage it does to your dreams and goals.”
― Noel DeJesus
That's definitely a huge part of it. I'm anticipating the discomfort, and it's putting me off. It feels so much easier for me to just give in and give myself that "comfort" than to just dig my heels in and do it.
Thank you for your response. I'm truly taking that to heart! I will be checking back in on you!!!!!
Thank you so much!
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DTrippBarton wrote: »Like others said, you're not always going to be motivated. Sometimes you just need to put one foot in front of the other and do it. It's not always going to be fun. Everyone can come up with excuses why they can't, don't have time, etc. What you need to do is take even 15 minutes and do SOMETHING, everyday. Then you can start building on that.
That's fantastic advice! Thank you!
That's a huge vice of mine - making excuses. I feel like I'm the queen of them, I do it so often. I need to learn how not to do that.
What about re-wording your excuses? Instead of them being why you can't or won't, word them to be excuses for why you can or will. I know the word "excuse" has a negative connotation but try making it a positive one.
Good luck!0 -
This thread is awesome A little trick I use, I find I snack a lot in the evenings because I'm bored, so I started finding ways to keep busy while watching tv, like cross stitching, or seeding a pomegranate Or even better, watching TV while on the treadmill
My biggest motivator is exactly this, using the MFP forums and blogs. Reading posts like these rekindles my drive every single time! I've also got a few motivational quotes from Pinterest printed out and posted in my office at work. My strategy is to keep my eyes on the prize! I visualize myself at my goal weight, and then think, "What can I do today that's going to get me there?" That helps me a lot
Good luck to you! You've got the power to do this!! You just need to keep that focus at the top of your mind all the time. And feel free to add me as a friend if you want a buddy! 0 -
DTrippBarton wrote: »Like others said, you're not always going to be motivated. Sometimes you just need to put one foot in front of the other and do it. It's not always going to be fun. Everyone can come up with excuses why they can't, don't have time, etc. What you need to do is take even 15 minutes and do SOMETHING, everyday. Then you can start building on that.
That's fantastic advice! Thank you!
That's a huge vice of mine - making excuses. I feel like I'm the queen of them, I do it so often. I need to learn how not to do that.
What about re-wording your excuses? Instead of them being why you can't or won't, word them to be excuses for why you can or will. I know the word "excuse" has a negative connotation but try making it a positive one.
Good luck!
That's a great idea. Kind of like turning the tables on myself with those excuses. I like that! 0 -
erindunphy wrote: »This thread is awesome A little trick I use, I find I snack a lot in the evenings because I'm bored, so I started finding ways to keep busy while watching tv, like cross stitching, or seeding a pomegranate Or even better, watching TV while on the treadmill
My biggest motivator is exactly this, using the MFP forums and blogs. Reading posts like these rekindles my drive every single time! I've also got a few motivational quotes from Pinterest printed out and posted in my office at work. My strategy is to keep my eyes on the prize! I visualize myself at my goal weight, and then think, "What can I do today that's going to get me there?" That helps me a lot
Good luck to you! You've got the power to do this!! You just need to keep that focus at the top of your mind all the time. And feel free to add me as a friend if you want a buddy!
That's also a great idea! Finding things to keep myself distracted. I love doing crafty things (like cross stitching and making cloth wreaths).
Thank you for the reassurance! I'm going to be taking a look back at this thread every single time I feel myself wavering. All of the advice and support given here today has been amazing. 0 -
I'm in the same boat with having past success and just getting going on losing weight I regained. I lost 25 lbs about 5 years ago- lost it slowly over 2 years. I had the workouts down but eating in a way I could maintain for life was my goal which is why I lost slowly. I gained it back cuz of eating more here and there thinking I'm feeling skinny now so I can do that, and slowly have gained most of it back. I'm finding I need more support this time around and am finding that that encouragement from posts about my real life frustrations is working for me. Im rooting for your success and hope you root for mine too:)DTrippBarton wrote: »I've been trying for years to lose weight. I had a successful bout back in 2011, when I lost 62 pounds. Unfortunately, since then, I've gained all of the weight back and have had difficulties with reclaiming some success.
Physically, I'm more than ready to try (and I've been trying constantly, and backslide every time). Mentally, I feel like I'm just blocked. I pull up my big girl panties and start up, but then something happens (either a stressful event, errands that mess up my routine, sabotages, etc) that throws me off course, and I start my self-sabotaging cycle all over again.
I've tried everything I could to motivate myself. I've tried before and after photos, doing this for my kids and my husband, wanting to feel better about myself and feel healthier, using apps and fitness bands, relying on friends to help, keeping it to myself, motivational memes, etc. Nothing is giving me that jolt of inspiration.
It's difficult. I want so badly to make this happen for myself. I'm just having a hard time removing that mental block.
If anyone has dealt with the same kind of difficulties and successfully moved past them, how did you do it? How did you get through the first few weeks of changing your lifestyle? How did you maintain your focus and your drive? How did you tune out all of the saboteurs (because I have a LOT of those in my life)? (Sorry for the bombardment of questions!)
I hate feeling this stuck. I want to be able to do this and move forward, and lose the weight and change my lifestyle.
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One thing about people who stay fit and lean.................they are consistent about it. A lot of their lifestyle is about proper nutrition, exercise and being consistent.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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And to maintain that consistency you have to have the right mindset, IMO. If you (general "you") view the lifestyle changes necessary to attain your goal as bad and uncomfortable and that you are missing out or giving up certain foods, then it's really hard to succeed long-term.0
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OP you ask some interesting questions. In my case, I had to ask myself why I wasn't allowing myself to be the best self I knew I could be. I had to face the answers, however hurtful they were, and only then was I able to commit to change. It's been so worth it.0
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