Picky Eaters?
Options
Replies
-
malavika413 wrote: »I guess I should have predicted this sort of thing dating an American man. I just hope his family never invites me home, I'd feel horrible just pushing food around on my plate.
Your boyfriend's issues have nothing to do with him being an American, and everything to do with him being him. And from other posts you've made, you seem to spend a lot of time trying to be who he wants you to be, and not being yourself.
Re-read what you wrote. You're worried about him breaking up with you because you aren't doing something you don't like and do not want to do. Think about that for awhile.
I don't think he'll break up with me over food. But since we eat every meal together, it makes things quite tense when I pick at salad and he tries everything offered. I don't see him as the bad guy, but I was just wondering if I'm being completely unreasonable by refusing to try what looks unappetizing at the dining hall.0 -
If you expect him to try your food.
You should try his.
and no- dining hall food is never that great- but it's food. It gets the job done.
He has always tried it willingly. In the beginning of our relationship I used to hide my food from him--he had never met an Indian person or seen Indian food and I didn't want him to react like my last boyfriend did. But he tries everything of his own volition and claims he likes it. Am I subject to the same standards?0 -
malavika413 wrote: »Just out of curiosity, is picky eating a deal-breaker for you in terms of an SO? I'm very picky in terms of what I eat. We had a Christmas dinner at my university (some sort of beef roast, steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc). I ended up eating some Caesar salad, everything else was food I didn't like. It annoys BF to no end, especially because he's learned to like Indian food (my native cuisine). He insists I 'try' the food, but it's not at all appetizing to me. Am I in the wrong here, or is this a common quirk that he needs to get over?
Neither my dh nor myself are very picky but there a certain foods one of us doesn't like but the other does. We don't force the other person to eat food they do not like. We do not make negative remarks about the other person's food. We do have a large selection of foods that we both enjoy and both enjoy trying new things. Food hasn't caused conflict and we've been married 15 years.
If dh refused to ever try any food that was different from what he usually ate or got offended that I didn't want to eat seafood then it would be difficult. We might be able to work things out if we just had different food preferences but the attitudes of refusing to try different things, making negative comments about the other person's food or getting offended might not help us stay together long term.
Your situation sounds like it is more about both of your attitudes than what you choose to eat.
Your attitudes may be incompatible.0 -
If he's tried things because you like them, you are being unreasonable if you're not trying things he likes.0
-
-
TheVirgoddess wrote: »
It's my only point of comparison, we don't eat American food at home. I once had an American thanksgiving at a friends house and could only have pie, everything else (and I did try some of it) wasn't good.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »
It's my only point of comparison, we don't eat American food at home. I once had an American thanksgiving at a friends house and could only have pie, everything else (and I did try some of it) wasn't good.
But can't you try to make your own "American" food? So you have more control over the flavor? I guarantee that my mashed potatoes don't taste the same as the mashed potatoes of other posters in this thread. When you make things yourself, you're in control of the flavor. Experiment and play with different flavors so you can figure out what you like.
If you're unwilling to do that, you're missing out. Every type of cuisine has something unique and delicious to offer.0 -
malavika413 wrote: »Just out of curiosity, is picky eating a deal-breaker for you in terms of an SO? I'm very picky in terms of what I eat. We had a Christmas dinner at my university (some sort of beef roast, steamed vegetables, mashed potatoes, gravy, etc). I ended up eating some Caesar salad, everything else was food I didn't like. It annoys BF to no end, especially because he's learned to like Indian food (my native cuisine). He insists I 'try' the food, but it's not at all appetizing to me. Am I in the wrong here, or is this a common quirk that he needs to get over?
I have SED (selective eating disorder) which is also now known as ARFID (avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder). I have a very small list of foods that I am willing to eat and that is it. I have been like this since I was 2 years old. When people try to force me to eat things that I have phobias of I will have panic attacks. My boyfriend is very understanding because he looks at it from the perspective of someone who is vegan or gluten free or anything else. He has a daughter who is vegan which helps him understand. This is not a choice, but if he can compare it to something and know where I'm coming from then I'm fine. I can't eat any fruits, any veggies, any fish, any seafood, any nuts or nut butters. I won't eat any foods that come in contact with any of these foods. If someone is eating any of these foods near me then I can't eat or drink during that time because I'm afraid of cross-contamination. It's just part of my life. I always make sure to eat before I go places or eat when I get home from somewhere and I avoid restaurants unless I have no choice. I pack my own lunches for work and I don't apologize for my eating disorder. It is what it is.
0 -
TheVirgoddess wrote: »malavika413 wrote: »TheVirgoddess wrote: »
It's my only point of comparison, we don't eat American food at home. I once had an American thanksgiving at a friends house and could only have pie, everything else (and I did try some of it) wasn't good.
But can't you try to make your own "American" food? So you have more control over the flavor? I guarantee that my mashed potatoes don't taste the same as the mashed potatoes of other posters in this thread. When you make things yourself, you're in control of the flavor. Experiment and play with different flavors so you can figure out what you like.
If you're unwilling to do that, you're missing out. Every type of cuisine has something unique and delicious to offer.
I eat at a college dining hall, and at home I eat what my mother cooks. There's really no getting around that for the next few years.0 -
where do you live?
do you live at home? can't you pack food/ can't you cook for yourself?
0 -
where do you live?
do you live at home? can't you pack food/ can't you cook for yourself?
In the summers/breaks/random homesick weekends I live at home. At college I can't pack any food, I eat what they offer--unfortunately. I don't know how to cook and I have no need to, my mom knows how much I hate the food at school so she makes all sorts of food I like over break. She does work very long days, but always makes the time to cook and often refuses help.0 -
ew. my ex was super picky. total deal breaker. the worst thing ever is eating something while the person you are eating w/ is looking at you disgustedly, talking about how nasty the food you are like consuming is, and making faces, etc. (yes, he was a worthless child >:( ) as long as you don't talk about what he is eating, i don't see anything wrong with just sticking to what food you do like, though. just be sensitive! my brother's wife is Chinese and when visiting my family in USA she could hardly eat anything and ended up losing 10 lbs. be polite about it! if they insist you try something, THAT is rude. just politely say "no thanks, not interested" or whatever you need to say. they should understand, especially realizing that you are used to eating a different type of food than them and there is nothing wrong with that! good luck!0
-
also, good for him for trying out Indian food! It's wonderful! TBH not trying super American dining hall food is probably a good idea, and I don't really see that as being picky. I think it's really just being picky if you say "omg I HATE carrots, I will never eat a carrot" or something like that. just picking a few things you will eat. American food is kinda super gross, unless it's done flawlessly... by a chef (still not that interesting.. burgers? roasts? chicken?), and I don't blame you for thinking of it as "prison food" lol.0
-
Have you ever taken someone to a restaurant you love (or made them a dish you love) and watched them just push the food around the plate and not eat it? It's really a terrible feeling. Even if they're willing to sit there while you eat, it'll kill the experience for you too.
That's what you're doing to him.
I really understand having opposite tastes from your BF. I'm a vegetarian and grew up eating a lot of Persian and Indian food, whereas my BF comes from a big Italian family where it's not dinner if it doesn't include beef. If you want to be with him, you have to care more about him than you do about the one meal that is in front of you.
If my BF wants to go to a steakhouse, we go. I'll load up on protein for lunch and order a baked potato, salad and some other vegetable side dish. He'll be really happy that he's getting to eat something he loves, and I like to be able to share his happiness. Sulking because I don't get to eat something I like for that one meal would be a really cr@ppy thing to do to him. It works both ways, too. He's learned how to order kebabs or tandoori -- they're not his favorite things, but he does it for me. If we didn't both do this for the other one, that would be a different story, but as an adult, you need to learn how to handle some things you maybe don't want to do.0 -
Have you ever taken someone to a restaurant you love (or made them a dish you love) and watched them just push the food around the plate and not eat it? It's really a terrible feeling. Even if they're willing to sit there while you eat, it'll kill the experience for you too.
That's what you're doing to him.
I really understand having opposite tastes from your BF. I'm a vegetarian and grew up eating a lot of Persian and Indian food, whereas my BF comes from a big Italian family where it's not dinner if it doesn't include beef. If you want to be with him, you have to care more about him than you do about the one meal that is in front of you.
If my BF wants to go to a steakhouse, we go. I'll load up on protein for lunch and order a baked potato, salad and some other vegetable side dish. He'll be really happy that he's getting to eat something he loves, and I like to be able to share his happiness. Sulking because I don't get to eat something I like for that one meal would be a really cr@ppy thing to do to him. It works both ways, too. He's learned how to order kebabs or tandoori -- they're not his favorite things, but he does it for me. If we didn't both do this for the other one, that would be a different story, but as an adult, you need to learn how to handle some things you maybe don't want to do.
Thanks for putting these things into perspective. I suppose he's not really asking for too much. In his words "you don't need to grab a whole plate, just have a bite!" It really comes down to me being set and rigid in my ways (goes beyond food--I'm very particular about activities, movies, etc) and him being open to everything. I guess I'll have to learn to tiptoe out of my comfort zone if I want things to work out long-term.0 -
I'm an extremely picky eater, and my fiance has come to terms with that. We did, however, come to an agreement that we will both try anything once. That way, if I like something he doesn't, or he likes something that I don't, we can at least say "I tried it before, I know I don't like it" and there aren't any hurt feelings.0
-
By being an adult, I started trying different foods, that I didn't like before or thought I wouldn't like based on looks. But I have gone from a picky eater who only ate a few staple foods to someone who will try anything at least twice (never know if the first time was just a bad example) then make a decision as to whether or not I like it.
However, I blame my wife for this, she has given me the opportunity and pushed me to try new things and I am forever grateful.0 -
If it's someone you don't really care about, it doesn't matter. I wouldn't eat bland, salt-only vegetables for just anyone! But if you really care about him, especially if it's an important meal (like a holiday or a family event), find a way to enjoy the food. People bond through the experience of eating together, and you don't want to cut yourself out of those experiences just because it's not the type of food that you'd prefer. As your relationship grows, you can find ways to incorporate the things you like into his traditions, too.malavika413 wrote: »Have you ever taken someone to a restaurant you love (or made them a dish you love) and watched them just push the food around the plate and not eat it? It's really a terrible feeling. Even if they're willing to sit there while you eat, it'll kill the experience for you too.
That's what you're doing to him.
I really understand having opposite tastes from your BF. I'm a vegetarian and grew up eating a lot of Persian and Indian food, whereas my BF comes from a big Italian family where it's not dinner if it doesn't include beef. If you want to be with him, you have to care more about him than you do about the one meal that is in front of you.
If my BF wants to go to a steakhouse, we go. I'll load up on protein for lunch and order a baked potato, salad and some other vegetable side dish. He'll be really happy that he's getting to eat something he loves, and I like to be able to share his happiness. Sulking because I don't get to eat something I like for that one meal would be a really cr@ppy thing to do to him. It works both ways, too. He's learned how to order kebabs or tandoori -- they're not his favorite things, but he does it for me. If we didn't both do this for the other one, that would be a different story, but as an adult, you need to learn how to handle some things you maybe don't want to do.
Thanks for putting these things into perspective. I suppose he's not really asking for too much. In his words "you don't need to grab a whole plate, just have a bite!" It really comes down to me being set and rigid in my ways (goes beyond food--I'm very particular about activities, movies, etc) and him being open to everything. I guess I'll have to learn to tiptoe out of my comfort zone if I want things to work out long-term.
0 -
malavika413 wrote: »where do you live?
do you live at home? can't you pack food/ can't you cook for yourself?
In the summers/breaks/random homesick weekends I live at home. At college I can't pack any food, I eat what they offer--unfortunately. I don't know how to cook and I have no need to, my mom knows how much I hate the food at school so she makes all sorts of food I like over break. She does work very long days, but always makes the time to cook and often refuses help.
You plan on always living at home having mom cook for you?
Might be time to learn how to cook and take care of yourself0
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 391.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.5K Getting Started
- 259.7K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.6K Food and Nutrition
- 47.3K Recipes
- 232.3K Fitness and Exercise
- 393 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.4K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 152.7K Motivation and Support
- 7.8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.3K MyFitnessPal Information
- 23 News and Announcements
- 931 Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.3K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions