How to avoid emotional eating
yourradimradletshug
Posts: 964 Member
So last night I was exrtremely depressed. I don't want to really get into WHY but I was very hurt and crying and just trying to resist the urge to stuff my face. I ended up crying so hard I fell asleep as I was just so drained. Today, I feel a tiny bit better but STILL want to just eat until I don't feel sad anymore. Can anyone give me any tips to get past this feeling? Working out isn't an option I have today.
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Replies
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I'm sorry.
Find lower calorie alternatives for snacking (vegetables, Quest bar, etc) or drink water or tea (if you can without adding sugar). Try to keep yourself busy with either stuff that needs done or stuff you enjoy doing.0 -
Good job resisting the urge yesterday. I think in the middle of emotional breakdown can be the hardest time to fight the compulsion to eat. Sometimes when I can't get out of a slump I marathon Funniest Home Videos or Whose Line is it Anyway until the sheer volume of comedy wears me down and makes me laugh. Doing something productive is also a good idea, be it an art project you can do with your hands or just getting out of the house and taking a walk. Talking to people can also be a big help. Find something more prominent to occupy your thoughts like an upcoming event or chores that need to get done. Well wishes for you.0
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yourradimradletshug wrote: »So last night I was exrtremely depressed. I don't want to really get into WHY but I was very hurt and crying and just trying to resist the urge to stuff my face. I ended up crying so hard I fell asleep as I was just so drained. Today, I feel a tiny bit better but STILL want to just eat until I don't feel sad anymore. Can anyone give me any tips to get past this feeling? Working out isn't an option I have today.
It sounds like something happened and you needed comfort. Food is a method by which many of us comfort ourselves, and ya know, I'm not gonna diss it. Making a delicious meal when I am not feeling well emotionally is definitely an item in my self-comfort toolbox!
In my opinion, the problem comes in when any particular item in the self-comfort toolbox becomes the default go-to.
It sounds like the sad was coming to you from a specific event rather than, say, chronic depression. Keep in mind that hurting when something painful happens might totally suck and you don't necessarily want to experience it, but it's sane, sane, sane.
I'm not saying you shouldn't do things to ameliorate the pain, mind. You should definitely take good care of yourself, which does include bandaging wounds and some painkiller.
What other self-comfort methods work for you? Are they sensory (something tasty, bubble bath, scented candles and a silky nightgown, or wrapping yourself in a warm blanket), or they distractions (playing a video game, reading a book, watching something really funny), or are they achievement-oriented (working out, doing a craft project, cleaning the house) or are they social (interacting with someone close, hanging out on a message board, going out of the house where there are sure to be lots of people).
The point is that these methods serve different needs, depending on where you are emotionally and what your needs at the moment happen to be. While food isn't an evil self-comfort, it doesn't hurt to think ahead and plan for others as well that are sensory in nature.
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Thank you all for the comments. It means a lot. I am trying to just keep my mind off of it for now and trying to avoid the bad foods although I did binge today. It's just hard. This time of year always is but having y'alls support really does help!0
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Have you tried keeping a journal? Write it all down on paper can help think through the issues. This time of year is hard. Look after yourself.0
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Yes, others gave most of the advice I would. Keeping a journal was very helpful for me. If I felt like eating to deal with emotions (or for any reason) I'd write about it briefly and what was going on. Typically it helped make me conscious of it enough that the feel lessened a lot, and also writing tends to help me deal with emotions. It also became just a general way to keep track of what was working and what wasn't.
Other things that helped included figuring out what to do instead to deal with those troublesome emotions--meditate, workout (I know you said that wouldn't work today), listen to music, make plans, go for a walk, etc.0 -
Well I have done the journal thing but I still can't seem to shake these hurt feelings. Like every day I wake up and it is just like smacking me in the face. I tried talking it out in therapy but even still today I woke up and I still angry and hurt and a bit sad. I don't know if I need closure on the situation or what but I can't seem to just feel better.0
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Take it from an old(ish) lady. You can't get closure on everything and you can't make everything better. There are things in life that are simply beyond our control. Sometimes hard and painful things. Eating yourself silly won't change that. It will simply add one more thing to feel bad about.
Let it go.0 -
I had thought this as well. It's something that can really work... I've let it slide a bit and can most definitely tell. I need to get back to that as well. It's worth a shot right?Have you tried keeping a journal? Write it all down on paper can help think through the issues. This time of year is hard. Look after yourself.
Another thing is forgiveness work. I don't mean you need to walk up to a person and say 'hey it's ok you did what you did' but inside we hold many things that eat away at us.. sometimes it helps to let it go. Not sure if you've read any books on it ... or if you're still in therapy perhaps you could ask about how it works if you're not sure.
Big hugs!
Yoga also releases pain and other feelings from within, walking, focusing on the beauty around us. Volunteering because it's really hard to be around ppl in need and stay inside our own heads. Ask me how I know.. lol
I'm truly sorry you're in pain... I wish I could say I'd love to take it away from you and make you feel better but working through and not around is what really makes it happen for us. It's something we have to do ourselves, but it's never something we need to do alone.. asking for tips etc. can really help the process.
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Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Take it from an old(ish) lady. You can't get closure on everything and you can't make everything better. There are things in life that are simply beyond our control. Sometimes hard and painful things. Eating yourself silly won't change that. It will simply add one more thing to feel bad about.
Let it go.
I like that advice!0 -
So sorry you're struggling! My go-to comfort items are a hot bath and sipping slowly on a hot cup of tea. Helps me relax and keep my mouth busy. Failing that, going for a run and chewing gum also help with endorphins and keeping my mouth busy. Hope that you can find peace soon!0
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This has been my life for the past two weeks. Nothing is well at home or at work. I feel like there is no escape anywhere. Then I eat myself into a comfortable numbness and sleep. Then I feel so guilty and I've ruined everything and my ED resurfaces and it's a downward spiral. I think I need to go back to the beginning and figure out my motivations again, and find a place to de-stress. Getting to the root of the emotional problem is half the battle. I'm picking up on the beginning signs of it again. It's allowing me to take a step back and look at it a little clearer.0
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do some emotional working out instead.0
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I am repeating some of what was already said, but this is something I am working through as well. I go to food for comfort. I am a binge eater. This has been my default for so long, that I am often not even aware that I am doing it...eating zombie. I am trying to be more mindful about my eating. This means slowing down and processing. Am I really hungry? Do I just want something for comfort and/or because I want that moment of taste pleasure? When I do eat, slow down..enjoy (I tend to devour rapidly). The processing and even a moment of meditation really helps. The desire to eat usually passes if it is emotional, rather than true hunger, cravings.
Nearly 3 years into this fitness thing, I am realizing that counting calories, logging food, etc. is not a long term fix if my issues with food are not solved (or diminished).
Good luck.0 -
Need2Exerc1se wrote: »Take it from an old(ish) lady. You can't get closure on everything and you can't make everything better. There are things in life that are simply beyond our control. Sometimes hard and painful things. Eating yourself silly won't change that. It will simply add one more thing to feel bad about.
Let it go.
This IS great advice. It's really hard to break away from coping mechanisms (even if they were bad coping mechanisms that didn't help in the long run) when it comes to feelings, but ultimately one thing that worked for me (more in the context of quitting alcohol than food, but some of the same things applied) was just forcing myself to sit with the feelings, to feel them, rather than trying to deal by making them go away. That's one way that the journaling helps, and counterintuitive as it may seem dealing with the pain more intensely rather than trying to avoid it usually makes it a lot better in the long run and you learn that you can deal with the feelings.
Sucks, though, and I'm sorry you are experiencing this.
One other thing I've read and occasionally kind of tried to practice is a pop stoicism. Basically the idea that whatever it is that you are upset or angry about has happened, and feeling bad about it or acting out (eating or drinking it away or engaging in some other behavior that people do, like spending lots of money) just adds another bad thing. For me this works more in the context of anger about something I can't control and it seems a little contrary to the first advice (feel the feelings), but in a way it's separating out the pure emotional response to the desire to want to hold on to or nurse the emotional response, if that makes any sense. (It does to me, but not everyone necessarily has such tendencies.)0 -
This might sound a little wacky but when I get depressed and want to eat my worries away sometimes I will put my bikini on and tell myself I can only eat in front of the mirror. Obviously won't work in public but at home first thing in the morning usually does the trick for the rest of the day for me. Helps me to realize that doing that is only making matters worse.0
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^Capt_Apollo wrote: »do some emotional working out instead.
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I appreciate all the feedback. I really am trying to let it go but I think that is the hardest part. The person who inflicted this pain on me was someone I deeply cared about so that is why I keep feeling like I need to seek closure. Can anyone tell me how to let it go if it was someone you cared about?0
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the only cure is time.0
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Some tips learned in my therapy class:
- Wait ten minutes. Tell yourself you will wait ten minutes then eat your desired snack. This is supposed to improve restraint. Doesn't work for me.
- When you do decide to snack, own it. Tell yourself you have chosen to eat it. This breaks the pattern of pretending the food has power over you.
- The obvious one; deal with the stressor in a new way. Too late this time you are in the middle of it.
- Imagine a stop sign and say "stop!" out loud to break the pattern.
I had to let go of a toxic relationship I had with my mom. I had an imaginary funeral, and I allowed myself to grieve the loss of what I wished I had. After that imaginary funeral, I readjusted to a "friendly acquaintance" relationship with my mom; much safer and not as painful.
Grief is the way to let go of those things you care about.
The Unitarian church has a burning bowl ceremony that I found healing. They typically hold it around New Year's so there will be one coming up soon.0 -
I had a black dog, his name was depression:
http://www.wimp.com/blackdog/0 -
Is it love? A film about domestic abuse.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BYyB_FGV1GY
I make no assumptions about what happened to you recently, but this video explains the cycle so well, I like to share where I can.0 -
I find that going for a brisk walk is helpful. It doesn't make the pain or problem go away, but I can put a new spin on a solution. Maybe it is just getting out of the house and doing something. Often I make an effort to say hello to a complete stranger and smile. I agree, it is very tempting to raid the refrigerator. Probably most of us in MFP have done this more times than we can remember.0
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I am an emotional eater too and still haven't found a way to "Let it Go" Paxil? Kidding, I used to be an emotional smoker, but when I quit there was yummy food that suddenly tasted even better.
My current attempt is to change how I reward myself all the time...not just when I'm emotional. A tough day, I'll schedule a massage or spa service or take my kids somewhere fun. I'm not even eating back my exercise calories anymore since I realized that deep down I felt like it was my "reward" for exercising. (switched to TDEE instead of NEAT).
I don't think I'm sensitive enough to keep a journal...0 -
[*] When you do decide to snack, own it. Tell yourself you have chosen to eat it. This breaks the pattern of pretending the food has power over you.
I love this.
I have also heard some therapies (thought I've never tried it) where when you are trying to maintain control over a habit, to start narrating what you're doing. I could see where it would stop me short to do it. (Imagining Morgan Freeman narrating the movie of my life at that moment might stop me even faster!)
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Window-shopping helps me sometimes, just getting out of the house. And when I eat, I try to first choose things that are relatively higher in protein (hard-boiled eggs, nuts, cheese stick, or vanilla yogurt if I need something sweet). I find that helps somewhat in resisting the cravings. And peppermint tea, or hot chocolate.0
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snacking/food will not in any way make the problem better. Keep telling yourself this. It will just add to it. If I am down in the dumps in the evening (ususally at night when I have time to think of things) I just grab my book and go to bed. The longer I am downstairs, the more I have to resist. Hope everything works out for you.0
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yourradimradletshug wrote: »I appreciate all the feedback. I really am trying to let it go but I think that is the hardest part. The person who inflicted this pain on me was someone I deeply cared about so that is why I keep feeling like I need to seek closure. Can anyone tell me how to let it go if it was someone you cared about?
Oh letting it go is absolutely the hardest part. Age helps. After you realize how much time you wasted on things you couldn't control, letting it go gets easier. But it never gets easy.0 -
I used to be a binge/emotional eater. I had to put food in its place and not give it so much importance, except for fueling my day/workouts. I put yellow sticky notes, with my name in a red circle with a line through it on all the boxes of Cheez-Its in the office, to remind myself not to eat them, because they were my go-to when I was frustrated and emotional when I got to work. I "forced" myself to eat ice cream every day (weighed out), then I did the same with Pop Tarts (one), and once it became a part of my daily routine, food stopped being the thing that I ran to for comfort. I get on MFP and interact with my friends when I'm feeling frustrated, and even though they don't know I'm feeling that way, they always bring a smile to my face and make me feel better. This is what worked for me. I hope you can find something that works for you.0
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Sorry to hear you're having a tough time. Something I like to do is take a bubble bath or hot shower - the warm water engulfing me seems cozier, kind of similar to how I can feel about eating food if I'm using it for comfort.
Oh with the lights dimmed or off too (think candles)0
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