How to avoid emotional eating

Options
yourradimradletshug
yourradimradletshug Posts: 964 Member
in Motivation and Support
So last night I was exrtremely depressed. I don't want to really get into WHY but I was very hurt and crying and just trying to resist the urge to stuff my face. I ended up crying so hard I fell asleep as I was just so drained. Today, I feel a tiny bit better but STILL want to just eat until I don't feel sad anymore. Can anyone give me any tips to get past this feeling? Working out isn't an option I have today.
«1

Replies

  • blktngldhrt
    blktngldhrt Posts: 1,053 Member
    Options
    I'm sorry. :(

    Find lower calorie alternatives for snacking (vegetables, Quest bar, etc) or drink water or tea (if you can without adding sugar). Try to keep yourself busy with either stuff that needs done or stuff you enjoy doing.
  • Pensworth
    Pensworth Posts: 31 Member
    Options
    Good job resisting the urge yesterday. I think in the middle of emotional breakdown can be the hardest time to fight the compulsion to eat. Sometimes when I can't get out of a slump I marathon Funniest Home Videos or Whose Line is it Anyway until the sheer volume of comedy wears me down and makes me laugh. Doing something productive is also a good idea, be it an art project you can do with your hands or just getting out of the house and taking a walk. Talking to people can also be a big help. Find something more prominent to occupy your thoughts like an upcoming event or chores that need to get done. Well wishes for you.
  • NoelFigart1
    NoelFigart1 Posts: 1,276 Member
    Options
    yourradimradletshug wrote: »
    So last night I was exrtremely depressed. I don't want to really get into WHY but I was very hurt and crying and just trying to resist the urge to stuff my face. I ended up crying so hard I fell asleep as I was just so drained. Today, I feel a tiny bit better but STILL want to just eat until I don't feel sad anymore. Can anyone give me any tips to get past this feeling? Working out isn't an option I have today.

    It sounds like something happened and you needed comfort. Food is a method by which many of us comfort ourselves, and ya know, I'm not gonna diss it. Making a delicious meal when I am not feeling well emotionally is definitely an item in my self-comfort toolbox!

    In my opinion, the problem comes in when any particular item in the self-comfort toolbox becomes the default go-to.

    It sounds like the sad was coming to you from a specific event rather than, say, chronic depression. Keep in mind that hurting when something painful happens might totally suck and you don't necessarily want to experience it, but it's sane, sane, sane.

    I'm not saying you shouldn't do things to ameliorate the pain, mind. You should definitely take good care of yourself, which does include bandaging wounds and some painkiller.

    What other self-comfort methods work for you? Are they sensory (something tasty, bubble bath, scented candles and a silky nightgown, or wrapping yourself in a warm blanket), or they distractions (playing a video game, reading a book, watching something really funny), or are they achievement-oriented (working out, doing a craft project, cleaning the house) or are they social (interacting with someone close, hanging out on a message board, going out of the house where there are sure to be lots of people).

    The point is that these methods serve different needs, depending on where you are emotionally and what your needs at the moment happen to be. While food isn't an evil self-comfort, it doesn't hurt to think ahead and plan for others as well that are sensory in nature.
  • yourradimradletshug
    yourradimradletshug Posts: 964 Member
    Options
    Thank you all for the comments. It means a lot. I am trying to just keep my mind off of it for now and trying to avoid the bad foods although I did binge today. It's just hard. This time of year always is but having y'alls support really does help!
  • blueakama
    blueakama Posts: 399 Member
    Options
    Have you tried keeping a journal? Write it all down on paper can help think through the issues. This time of year is hard. Look after yourself.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Options
    Yes, others gave most of the advice I would. Keeping a journal was very helpful for me. If I felt like eating to deal with emotions (or for any reason) I'd write about it briefly and what was going on. Typically it helped make me conscious of it enough that the feel lessened a lot, and also writing tends to help me deal with emotions. It also became just a general way to keep track of what was working and what wasn't.

    Other things that helped included figuring out what to do instead to deal with those troublesome emotions--meditate, workout (I know you said that wouldn't work today), listen to music, make plans, go for a walk, etc.
  • yourradimradletshug
    yourradimradletshug Posts: 964 Member
    Options
    Well I have done the journal thing but I still can't seem to shake these hurt feelings. Like every day I wake up and it is just like smacking me in the face. I tried talking it out in therapy but even still today I woke up and I still angry and hurt and a bit sad. I don't know if I need closure on the situation or what but I can't seem to just feel better.
  • Need2Exerc1se
    Need2Exerc1se Posts: 13,576 Member
    Options
    Take it from an old(ish) lady. You can't get closure on everything and you can't make everything better. There are things in life that are simply beyond our control. Sometimes hard and painful things. Eating yourself silly won't change that. It will simply add one more thing to feel bad about.

    Let it go.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    edited December 2014
    Options
    blueakama wrote: »
    Have you tried keeping a journal? Write it all down on paper can help think through the issues. This time of year is hard. Look after yourself.
    I had thought this as well. It's something that can really work... I've let it slide a bit and can most definitely tell. I need to get back to that as well. It's worth a shot right?

    Another thing is forgiveness work. I don't mean you need to walk up to a person and say 'hey it's ok you did what you did' but inside we hold many things that eat away at us.. sometimes it helps to let it go. Not sure if you've read any books on it ... or if you're still in therapy perhaps you could ask about how it works if you're not sure.

    Big hugs! <3

    Yoga also releases pain and other feelings from within, walking, focusing on the beauty around us. Volunteering because it's really hard to be around ppl in need and stay inside our own heads. Ask me how I know.. lol

    I'm truly sorry you're in pain... I wish I could say I'd love to take it away from you and make you feel better but working through and not around is what really makes it happen for us. It's something we have to do ourselves, but it's never something we need to do alone.. asking for tips etc. can really help the process.

  • akhpt4
    akhpt4 Posts: 9
    Options
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    Take it from an old(ish) lady. You can't get closure on everything and you can't make everything better. There are things in life that are simply beyond our control. Sometimes hard and painful things. Eating yourself silly won't change that. It will simply add one more thing to feel bad about.

    Let it go.

    I like that advice!
  • justcat206
    justcat206 Posts: 716 Member
    Options
    So sorry you're struggling! My go-to comfort items are a hot bath and sipping slowly on a hot cup of tea. Helps me relax and keep my mouth busy. Failing that, going for a run and chewing gum also help with endorphins and keeping my mouth busy. Hope that you can find peace soon!
  • adamitri
    adamitri Posts: 614 Member
    Options
    This has been my life for the past two weeks. Nothing is well at home or at work. I feel like there is no escape anywhere. Then I eat myself into a comfortable numbness and sleep. Then I feel so guilty and I've ruined everything and my ED resurfaces and it's a downward spiral. I think I need to go back to the beginning and figure out my motivations again, and find a place to de-stress. Getting to the root of the emotional problem is half the battle. I'm picking up on the beginning signs of it again. It's allowing me to take a step back and look at it a little clearer.
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Options
    do some emotional working out instead.
  • BarbellApprentice
    BarbellApprentice Posts: 486 Member
    Options
    I am repeating some of what was already said, but this is something I am working through as well. I go to food for comfort. I am a binge eater. This has been my default for so long, that I am often not even aware that I am doing it...eating zombie. I am trying to be more mindful about my eating. This means slowing down and processing. Am I really hungry? Do I just want something for comfort and/or because I want that moment of taste pleasure? When I do eat, slow down..enjoy (I tend to devour rapidly). The processing and even a moment of meditation really helps. The desire to eat usually passes if it is emotional, rather than true hunger, cravings.

    Nearly 3 years into this fitness thing, I am realizing that counting calories, logging food, etc. is not a long term fix if my issues with food are not solved (or diminished).

    Good luck.
  • lemurcat12
    lemurcat12 Posts: 30,886 Member
    Options
    Need2Exerc1se wrote: »
    Take it from an old(ish) lady. You can't get closure on everything and you can't make everything better. There are things in life that are simply beyond our control. Sometimes hard and painful things. Eating yourself silly won't change that. It will simply add one more thing to feel bad about.

    Let it go.

    This IS great advice. It's really hard to break away from coping mechanisms (even if they were bad coping mechanisms that didn't help in the long run) when it comes to feelings, but ultimately one thing that worked for me (more in the context of quitting alcohol than food, but some of the same things applied) was just forcing myself to sit with the feelings, to feel them, rather than trying to deal by making them go away. That's one way that the journaling helps, and counterintuitive as it may seem dealing with the pain more intensely rather than trying to avoid it usually makes it a lot better in the long run and you learn that you can deal with the feelings.

    Sucks, though, and I'm sorry you are experiencing this.

    One other thing I've read and occasionally kind of tried to practice is a pop stoicism. Basically the idea that whatever it is that you are upset or angry about has happened, and feeling bad about it or acting out (eating or drinking it away or engaging in some other behavior that people do, like spending lots of money) just adds another bad thing. For me this works more in the context of anger about something I can't control and it seems a little contrary to the first advice (feel the feelings), but in a way it's separating out the pure emotional response to the desire to want to hold on to or nurse the emotional response, if that makes any sense. (It does to me, but not everyone necessarily has such tendencies.)
  • kristimason3
    kristimason3 Posts: 131 Member
    Options
    This might sound a little wacky but when I get depressed and want to eat my worries away sometimes I will put my bikini on and tell myself I can only eat in front of the mirror. Obviously won't work in public but at home first thing in the morning usually does the trick for the rest of the day for me. Helps me to realize that doing that is only making matters worse.
  • Hearts_2015
    Hearts_2015 Posts: 12,031 Member
    Options
    Capt_Apollo wrote: »
    do some emotional working out instead.
    ^
  • yourradimradletshug
    yourradimradletshug Posts: 964 Member
    Options
    I appreciate all the feedback. I really am trying to let it go but I think that is the hardest part. The person who inflicted this pain on me was someone I deeply cared about so that is why I keep feeling like I need to seek closure. Can anyone tell me how to let it go if it was someone you cared about?
  • Capt_Apollo
    Capt_Apollo Posts: 9,026 Member
    Options
    the only cure is time.
  • jgnatca
    jgnatca Posts: 14,464 Member
    Options
    Some tips learned in my therapy class:
    • Wait ten minutes. Tell yourself you will wait ten minutes then eat your desired snack. This is supposed to improve restraint. Doesn't work for me.
    • When you do decide to snack, own it. Tell yourself you have chosen to eat it. This breaks the pattern of pretending the food has power over you.
    • The obvious one; deal with the stressor in a new way. Too late this time you are in the middle of it.
    • Imagine a stop sign and say "stop!" out loud to break the pattern.

    I had to let go of a toxic relationship I had with my mom. I had an imaginary funeral, and I allowed myself to grieve the loss of what I wished I had. After that imaginary funeral, I readjusted to a "friendly acquaintance" relationship with my mom; much safer and not as painful.

    Grief is the way to let go of those things you care about.

    The Unitarian church has a burning bowl ceremony that I found healing. They typically hold it around New Year's so there will be one coming up soon.

Categories