Mother of 2 feeling guilty

navybmtaylor

Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?

Calliope610

Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?

Can't your absolutely amazing husband do that for 45 minutes? Why would you feel guilty about letting your husband be an absolutely amazing father sometimes?

navybmtaylor

Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?

Can't your absolutely amazing husband do that for 45 minutes? Why would you feel guilty about letting your husband be an absolutely amazing father sometimes?

He does and sometimes he is the driving force for me going to workout. But what I am saying is that as a mother I feel guilty that I am not with my kids.

misscristie

Think of it as sacrificing time now, so that you have more time later.

clemsontiger78

You tell yourself that you are doing this to get and stay healthy so you will be around to see them grow up and reach the important milestones. All mothers feel guilty about something. You have to decide if your health is worth it. Getting into better shape will make you a good role model for your children as they grow.

SilverLotusGirl

Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?

It's 45 mins. The kids will be okay. Enjoy your workout and time for yourself. Think of it this way, if you aren't healthy and in good shape and don't take time out for yourself you won't be healthy enough or feel fulfilled enough to be the best mother you can be because you'll still be worried about your weight. Let your husband spend that time with the kids. You get some alone time, and they get daddy bonding time and a healthier mom, he gets time with the littles, and a happier wife. Everybody wins!

5ftnFun

Believe me, I bet many moms reading this can relate. It took me a long time to realize that you don't have to be with your children 24/7 in order for them to feel your love. Take care of yourself. In doing so, you are giving yourself a wonderful gift, but also your children!

Mich4871

I'm a stay at home mom to 2 little ones (my DD is 4 and DS will be 3 in 2 months), I did feel guilty at first, but this is the ONLY thing I have that is 100% for me, and I've accepted that I deserve this time to take care of me... and while taking care of me to be a healthier me, I am in turn taking care of my kids. They now have a mommy that has way more energy for them and a healthier mommy too!

I work out 5-6 days a week, 2 days with a trainer.

walleyclan1

I have this problem for sure! I work outside the home and I feel too guilty if I sacrifice any of my time with my kids to exercise. This being said I try to either:
1) Wake up early when the kids are still asleep and exercise
2) Exercise on my lunch break (40 minute brisk walk)
3) Exercise at night after the kids are in bed.
Good luck fitting it into your schedule!

lattarulol

I alleviate this by exercising early in the morning before they really wake up or doing it after they have gone to bed. I spend a lot of time prepping/cooking meals too and I either involve my 3 year old or have them playing by me so I can multi-task. I also do the majority of it when they are in bed at night. I often feel twangs of guilt but know that they are getting something out of it too - better meals and a less stressed mama.

jrbb03092

What everyone else has said but keep in mind too that you're setting a good example FOR your kids by doing this.

LuckyLeprechaun

You're a mother.

You're also a wife.

You're also a woman.

You are allowed to take care of yourself. By demonstrating a healthy lifestyle, your kids are less likely to become obese.

Does that help?

headertat

wait until they are sleeping and then workout. I work out right before I go to bed, that way I can spend as much time as I can with my son and husband. I know that its important to have me time and get me to be the best me that I can be for them.

Pepper2185

It's good for your kids to have one-on-one time with dad. And honestly, they are probably having enough fun with dad that they don't notice your absence

It's just 45 minutes, and a happy/healthy mom is a better mom during all those other hours!

Nicolee_2014

I am the same at times, not so much about the kids but leaving my partner with the kids after he's been at work all day etc. etc BUT, we have to make time for ourselves. It isn't all about the kids, I mean it is. But I'm sure they want a healthier, fitter, happy Mommy, right? Go shake your tail feather xxx

nuttyduffy

Like others have said you're getting fit so that you are around for them for longer in a healthier, better version of you.

Also, why not take them with you sometimes for a walk/jog - I did 5k this morning and my 6 year old joined me on her scooter! She got to enjoy the weather & I'm educating her that you need to stay fit & healthy to enjoy your life and your children ;0)

Don't feel guilty, enjoy the "me" time - we all deserve a break

Contrarian

Your kids probably appreciate the break as much as you do.

mickeyullrich

I completely understand. I stay at home with my 4 children (2 are in school all day though) and I bring the 3 and 5 year old down in the basement with me while I am doing my DVD and I feel extremely guilty for basically ignoring them while they play and I work out. But then I also feel guilty when I yell at them because of how miserable I am with my body, my fat rolls, my lack of energy etc... and I know that I am doing them a favor in the long run and teaching them how important health is. Someone pointed out that children should also know that their mom deserves to have some time to herself as well.... When my husband is home, I won't let them come downstairs with me because I just want a break....My kids know how much I love them, but they also know I need some "me" time....I am sure your kids will understand that about you too !

ClearNotCloudyMind

My feeling is if you're feeling guilty you probably need to try a different approach. I take 2+ hours twice a week to go cycling. It's not enough but I wouldn't see enough of my kids if I did more. Pick a training schedule you're 100% comfortable with for now as its something you'll be able to stick to. You can always add more in later if its needed. Best of luck!

boatsie77

Look as it as an opportunity for your kids to get a break from Mom...they can use some unstructured alone time too to practice being self-sufficient little humans.

schaskes

I totally understand how you feel. Everyone says "take time for yourself" but for moms, we are still expected to take care of a lot of household tasks, social planning, food preparation, and for some of us, work outside of the home. The hardest thing about being a mother is being able to be your own person without feeling guilty about it. That being said, I agree with everyone who said that getting healthy and maintaining it IS being a good mom because you are modeling as well as making sure that you can keep up with your kids and be there for them for a long time. Good Luck!

SakuraRose13

It can be hard I have two children myself oldest turns 3 in aug and youngest almost 15 months old, they are so small and at times I feel guilty about not being with them when I out with my friends ,but I have to relalize I need time for myself to so I can be a better mother to the, Im a SAHM so I spend most of my time with them day in day out. What your doing is only going to help you and the in end improving your health means you get to spend more time with the in the long run,45 mins isn't that long in the scheme of things they have their whole lives ahead of them still. Exercise, its good for you and if you like try to do some exercises with them if you must spend more time with them.

The fact that you feel guilty is just because your a good mom don't be so hard on yourself.

DaughterOfTheMostHighKing

I am a widow with 2. I raised them by myself for over 11 years now and they like the fact that their mommy is not a fatty! lol! They have learned that it's important to keep heathy and fit by watching me struggle to work in a work out either by waking up at 4:30am (they've woken up and then gone back to bed...) and also I instruct them on good nutrition. they still like the junk and we still have ice cream in the house.

Use your efforts to educate them. You are blessed that your husband is willing to support your efforts! Go get 'em girl!!! NO GUILT! You are doing this for you first and them second. If you don't take care of you, who will take care of them?

nuff said.

pamelak5

At 9 and 3, your kids don't need to be constantly engaged. Also, one on one time with their dad is really, really important. Would your husband feel guilty for not spending every minute with the kid? I doubt it.


You're also setting a terrific example for your kids. My daughter frequently demonstrates how everyone in the family exercises - husband's plyometrics, my running, grandpa's yoga. It's cute. I hope that she simply adopts the healthy, positive view of exercise and her body that it took me years to develop.

Nishi2013

I have 2 daughters. It took me 4 years to realize that it was not quantity but quality of time that matters. Exercise makes me happy. My kids prefer a happier mom over Ms. Grumpy.

I am also trying to instill healthier habits in my girls. How do I do that if I look and act like a sloppy pig who cant climb 4 stairs?

parys1

Your kids probably appreciate the break as much as you do.

This. It's good for our kids to see other faces.

NavyKnightAh13

I am the same way, I have a 16 month old but I wait until my kido is in bed before I go and work out, which is my "me time" because mommy needs to be around.

For me, my husband kinda understands, but i figure if he gets to game (which he does) then I get to work out and have me time.

I also know that once college starts my time with my little one will be shorter, so I spend as much time as i can with him currently, but also need me to be healthy.

pobalita

I have this problem for sure! I work outside the home and I feel too guilty if I sacrifice any of my time with my kids to exercise. This being said I try to either:
1) Wake up early when the kids are still asleep and exercise
2) Exercise on my lunch break (40 minute brisk walk)
3) Exercise at night after the kids are in bed.
Good luck fitting it into your schedule!

This is me, too. I'm divorced, so I have some time to exercise when I am alone, but it also makes exercising instead of spending time with my boys even more non-negotiable when they are with me.

I run during lunch. I do yoga after they go to sleep. I do strength work in the morning before work. I do my marathon training runs early weekend mornings when they are asleep or when they are off doing other activities.

Don't feel too guilty though - you are setting a great example for your kids when they see you exercise. Both of my boys are my biggest cheerleaders at my running events. Both (ages 13 and 10) can kick my a** in any 5K, and my 10 yo is ready for his first 10K. I attribute my influence to that and I am proud of it.

Junken_Diraffe

We can't be any good for our kids if we're not healthy and happy. The break is good for you physically as well as emotionally.

likitisplit

Yeah. We do. Our kids are precious. But you'll be able to do so much more with them if you're strong.

JennChamb

Think of it as sacrificing time now, so that you have more time later.

^ I like this. Because if you take control now of your health and weight then the 5x30 min/wk now wont turn into hours or days or weeks away from the kids if you develop major health issues, etc.
And as a mom of 3 myself (4mth, 2yr and 3.5yr) I can say that I need a half hour to 45 mins for myself everyday to be the best mom I can be every other minute of the day. I stay home with them. I love my kids. But the 'me' time I get is important too.