Mother of 2 feeling guilty

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navybmtaylor
navybmtaylor Posts: 6
in Fitness and Exercise
Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?
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  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,775 Member
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    Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?

    Can't your absolutely amazing husband do that for 45 minutes? Why would you feel guilty about letting your husband be an absolutely amazing father sometimes?
  • navybmtaylor
    navybmtaylor Posts: 6
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    Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?

    Can't your absolutely amazing husband do that for 45 minutes? Why would you feel guilty about letting your husband be an absolutely amazing father sometimes?

    He does and sometimes he is the driving force for me going to workout. But what I am saying is that as a mother I feel guilty that I am not with my kids.
  • misscristie
    misscristie Posts: 643 Member
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    Think of it as sacrificing time now, so that you have more time later.
  • clemsontiger78
    clemsontiger78 Posts: 19 Member
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    You tell yourself that you are doing this to get and stay healthy so you will be around to see them grow up and reach the important milestones. All mothers feel guilty about something. You have to decide if your health is worth it. Getting into better shape will make you a good role model for your children as they grow.
  • SilverLotusGirl
    SilverLotusGirl Posts: 537 Member
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    Let me start by saying I have 2 awesome kids 9 and 3 and my husband is absolutely amazing and would do anything to help me lose the weight that I want/need to. I have a goal set to work out at least 5 nights a week and what I really like to do is get on my treadmill and watch an episode of Army Wives about 45 minutes of walking/jogging. But every time I go I catch myself feeling guilty that I am not upstairs with my kid and taking care of them and spending time with them. I know I shouldn’t but I do. Does anyone else feel like this? And if so how do you get past it?

    It's 45 mins. The kids will be okay. Enjoy your workout and time for yourself. Think of it this way, if you aren't healthy and in good shape and don't take time out for yourself you won't be healthy enough or feel fulfilled enough to be the best mother you can be because you'll still be worried about your weight. Let your husband spend that time with the kids. You get some alone time, and they get daddy bonding time and a healthier mom, he gets time with the littles, and a happier wife. Everybody wins!
  • 5ftnFun
    5ftnFun Posts: 948 Member
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    Believe me, I bet many moms reading this can relate. It took me a long time to realize that you don't have to be with your children 24/7 in order for them to feel your love. Take care of yourself. In doing so, you are giving yourself a wonderful gift, but also your children!
  • Mich4871
    Mich4871 Posts: 143 Member
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    I'm a stay at home mom to 2 little ones (my DD is 4 and DS will be 3 in 2 months), I did feel guilty at first, but this is the ONLY thing I have that is 100% for me, and I've accepted that I deserve this time to take care of me... and while taking care of me to be a healthier me, I am in turn taking care of my kids. They now have a mommy that has way more energy for them and a healthier mommy too!

    I work out 5-6 days a week, 2 days with a trainer.
  • walleyclan1
    walleyclan1 Posts: 2,784 Member
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    I have this problem for sure! I work outside the home and I feel too guilty if I sacrifice any of my time with my kids to exercise. This being said I try to either:
    1) Wake up early when the kids are still asleep and exercise
    2) Exercise on my lunch break (40 minute brisk walk)
    3) Exercise at night after the kids are in bed.
    Good luck fitting it into your schedule!
  • lattarulol
    lattarulol Posts: 123 Member
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    I alleviate this by exercising early in the morning before they really wake up or doing it after they have gone to bed. I spend a lot of time prepping/cooking meals too and I either involve my 3 year old or have them playing by me so I can multi-task. I also do the majority of it when they are in bed at night. I often feel twangs of guilt but know that they are getting something out of it too - better meals and a less stressed mama.
  • jrbb03092
    jrbb03092 Posts: 198 Member
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    What everyone else has said but keep in mind too that you're setting a good example FOR your kids by doing this.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    You're a mother.

    You're also a wife.

    You're also a woman.

    You are allowed to take care of yourself. By demonstrating a healthy lifestyle, your kids are less likely to become obese.

    Does that help?
  • headertat
    headertat Posts: 6
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    wait until they are sleeping and then workout. I work out right before I go to bed, that way I can spend as much time as I can with my son and husband. I know that its important to have me time and get me to be the best me that I can be for them.
  • Pepper2185
    Pepper2185 Posts: 994 Member
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    It's good for your kids to have one-on-one time with dad. And honestly, they are probably having enough fun with dad that they don't notice your absence :)

    It's just 45 minutes, and a happy/healthy mom is a better mom during all those other hours!
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
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    I am the same at times, not so much about the kids but leaving my partner with the kids after he's been at work all day etc. etc BUT, we have to make time for ourselves. It isn't all about the kids, I mean it is. But I'm sure they want a healthier, fitter, happy Mommy, right? Go shake your tail feather xxx
  • nuttyduffy
    nuttyduffy Posts: 255 Member
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    Like others have said you're getting fit so that you are around for them for longer in a healthier, better version of you.

    Also, why not take them with you sometimes for a walk/jog - I did 5k this morning and my 6 year old joined me on her scooter! She got to enjoy the weather & I'm educating her that you need to stay fit & healthy to enjoy your life and your children ;0)

    Don't feel guilty, enjoy the "me" time - we all deserve a break :smile:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    Your kids probably appreciate the break as much as you do.
  • mickeyullrich
    mickeyullrich Posts: 156 Member
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    I completely understand. I stay at home with my 4 children (2 are in school all day though) and I bring the 3 and 5 year old down in the basement with me while I am doing my DVD and I feel extremely guilty for basically ignoring them while they play and I work out. But then I also feel guilty when I yell at them because of how miserable I am with my body, my fat rolls, my lack of energy etc... and I know that I am doing them a favor in the long run and teaching them how important health is. Someone pointed out that children should also know that their mom deserves to have some time to herself as well.... When my husband is home, I won't let them come downstairs with me because I just want a break....My kids know how much I love them, but they also know I need some "me" time....I am sure your kids will understand that about you too :smile: !
  • ClearNotCloudyMind
    ClearNotCloudyMind Posts: 238 Member
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    My feeling is if you're feeling guilty you probably need to try a different approach. I take 2+ hours twice a week to go cycling. It's not enough but I wouldn't see enough of my kids if I did more. Pick a training schedule you're 100% comfortable with for now as its something you'll be able to stick to. You can always add more in later if its needed. Best of luck!
  • boatsie77
    boatsie77 Posts: 480 Member
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    Look as it as an opportunity for your kids to get a break from Mom...they can use some unstructured alone time too to practice being self-sufficient little humans.
  • schaskes
    schaskes Posts: 103 Member
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    I totally understand how you feel. Everyone says "take time for yourself" but for moms, we are still expected to take care of a lot of household tasks, social planning, food preparation, and for some of us, work outside of the home. The hardest thing about being a mother is being able to be your own person without feeling guilty about it. That being said, I agree with everyone who said that getting healthy and maintaining it IS being a good mom because you are modeling as well as making sure that you can keep up with your kids and be there for them for a long time. Good Luck!

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