Mother of 2 feeling guilty

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  • SakuraRose13
    SakuraRose13 Posts: 621 Member
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    It can be hard I have two children myself oldest turns 3 in aug and youngest almost 15 months old, they are so small and at times I feel guilty about not being with them when I out with my friends ,but I have to relalize I need time for myself to so I can be a better mother to the, Im a SAHM so I spend most of my time with them day in day out. What your doing is only going to help you and the in end improving your health means you get to spend more time with the in the long run,45 mins isn't that long in the scheme of things they have their whole lives ahead of them still. Exercise, its good for you and if you like try to do some exercises with them if you must spend more time with them.

    The fact that you feel guilty is just because your a good mom don't be so hard on yourself.
  • DaughterOfTheMostHighKing
    DaughterOfTheMostHighKing Posts: 1,436 Member
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    I am a widow with 2. I raised them by myself for over 11 years now and they like the fact that their mommy is not a fatty! lol! They have learned that it's important to keep heathy and fit by watching me struggle to work in a work out either by waking up at 4:30am (they've woken up and then gone back to bed...) and also I instruct them on good nutrition. they still like the junk and we still have ice cream in the house.

    Use your efforts to educate them. :) You are blessed that your husband is willing to support your efforts! Go get 'em girl!!! NO GUILT! You are doing this for you first and them second. If you don't take care of you, who will take care of them?

    nuff said.
  • pamelak5
    pamelak5 Posts: 327 Member
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    At 9 and 3, your kids don't need to be constantly engaged. Also, one on one time with their dad is really, really important. Would your husband feel guilty for not spending every minute with the kid? I doubt it.


    You're also setting a terrific example for your kids. My daughter frequently demonstrates how everyone in the family exercises - husband's plyometrics, my running, grandpa's yoga. It's cute. I hope that she simply adopts the healthy, positive view of exercise and her body that it took me years to develop.
  • Nishi2013
    Nishi2013 Posts: 210 Member
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    I have 2 daughters. It took me 4 years to realize that it was not quantity but quality of time that matters. Exercise makes me happy. My kids prefer a happier mom over Ms. Grumpy.

    I am also trying to instill healthier habits in my girls. How do I do that if I look and act like a sloppy pig who cant climb 4 stairs?
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
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    Your kids probably appreciate the break as much as you do.

    This. It's good for our kids to see other faces.
  • NavyKnightAh13
    NavyKnightAh13 Posts: 1,394 Member
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    I am the same way, I have a 16 month old but I wait until my kido is in bed before I go and work out, which is my "me time" because mommy needs to be around.

    For me, my husband kinda understands, but i figure if he gets to game (which he does) then I get to work out and have me time.

    I also know that once college starts my time with my little one will be shorter, so I spend as much time as i can with him currently, but also need me to be healthy.
  • pobalita
    pobalita Posts: 741 Member
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    I have this problem for sure! I work outside the home and I feel too guilty if I sacrifice any of my time with my kids to exercise. This being said I try to either:
    1) Wake up early when the kids are still asleep and exercise
    2) Exercise on my lunch break (40 minute brisk walk)
    3) Exercise at night after the kids are in bed.
    Good luck fitting it into your schedule!

    This is me, too. I'm divorced, so I have some time to exercise when I am alone, but it also makes exercising instead of spending time with my boys even more non-negotiable when they are with me.

    I run during lunch. I do yoga after they go to sleep. I do strength work in the morning before work. I do my marathon training runs early weekend mornings when they are asleep or when they are off doing other activities.

    Don't feel too guilty though - you are setting a great example for your kids when they see you exercise. Both of my boys are my biggest cheerleaders at my running events. Both (ages 13 and 10) can kick my a** in any 5K, and my 10 yo is ready for his first 10K. I attribute my influence to that and I am proud of it.
  • Junken_Diraffe
    Junken_Diraffe Posts: 716 Member
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    We can't be any good for our kids if we're not healthy and happy. The break is good for you physically as well as emotionally.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
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    Yeah. We do. Our kids are precious. But you'll be able to do so much more with them if you're strong.
  • JennChamb
    JennChamb Posts: 55
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    Think of it as sacrificing time now, so that you have more time later.
    ^ I like this. Because if you take control now of your health and weight then the 5x30 min/wk now wont turn into hours or days or weeks away from the kids if you develop major health issues, etc.
    And as a mom of 3 myself (4mth, 2yr and 3.5yr) I can say that I need a half hour to 45 mins for myself everyday to be the best mom I can be every other minute of the day. I stay home with them. I love my kids. But the 'me' time I get is important too.
  • Symonep
    Symonep Posts: 181 Member
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    I have 4, I honestly don't understand how you could feel guilty for spending around 5% of your day doing something to better yourself physically and emotionally....
  • quiltlovinlisa
    quiltlovinlisa Posts: 1,710 Member
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    I could kill myself spending every waking moment taking care of my kids, and believe me, with three boys in 19 months (found out I was pregnant with twins when my little boy was 14 months old), I've come awfully close (two solid years of only a few hours of sleep a night). It's not worth it. I'm a better mother when I take care of myself. My children DESERVE a healthy, happy mother. And I believe, they will be better people, understanding the need to care for yourself.
  • mamaomefo
    mamaomefo Posts: 418 Member
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    If you spend 45 minutes on yourself exercising, that may keep you healthier so at some point in the future you don't have to be away from your children because you are sick...no exercise usually means unhealthy with possible future consequences to being unhealthy! Take the time and keep yourself healthy...from a Mom of two grown kids who now love to exercise because they watched their mom exercise all during their childhood!
  • sugaree1202
    sugaree1202 Posts: 184 Member
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    Look at those 45 minutes as taking time to be a better mom. Every mom needs time to herself and away from their kids - enjoy it. You're doing something for yourself, if your head tries to make you feel guilty, tell it to shut up.

    Maybe instead of using the treadmill for each workout, swap in a dvd and invite the kids to join you. My 6 year old daughter and 8 year old son join me for TurboFire on the weekends and love it. If you have a Wii, XBox or PS3 Zumba Fitness and Zumba Core are lots of fun too. Just keep your husband on standby if the kids get distracting or set some ground rules for the 9 year old like "if you want to workout with mom, we follow the video, stay in your area and if you want to stop don't distract me" because it's still your workout time. These rules are important when my kids join me bc I have an issue with my right leg and have to pay attention so I don't get hurt but find what works for you.
  • Michellemarg
    Michellemarg Posts: 18
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    I have two kids 12 and 16. I have never taken the time to work out for the same reasons you are feeling guilty. Time with the kids is precious and they grow up so fast. But what I finally realized is that because of my weight I opted out of healthy activities with my family. While they were skiing I would stay back at the lodge, or while they were playing in the lake, I was hiding under a towel. I ended up missing out on some pretty amazing stuff. Take it from me, they would rather miss you for 45 minutes every single day then watch you sit on the sidelines while they play! Take the time mama - you deserve a fit healthy body!
  • MzManiak
    MzManiak Posts: 1,361 Member
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    As a mother of 3, my oldest being 9 and my youngest being 18 months.... I have to say a big fat NO! lol We, of all people, have the right to ONE freakin hour to ourselves! Enjoy it! Don't overthink it. It's not about how much time you spend with your babies, it's the quality of time. Miss one hour here so that you can be less stressed, healthier, and happier when you are with your kids. :happy:
  • princesspea234
    princesspea234 Posts: 182 Member
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    You could incorporate them in your walks or runs (bring a stroller for when the three year old gets tired.) Bike ride, rollerblade or "scooter with your oldest... It could mean special time with that child that's one-on-one. Engage in good old fashioned play like kick the can or pitch-and-hit. OR invite them to do a fun exercise DVD with you.... you'd be surprised how much kids get into that even if they can't do all the moves.

    There are so many ways to set fun example for your kids.
  • janinealfke
    janinealfke Posts: 93
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    My husband is retired USAF and our children are grown, but let me say this: What you are doing for yourself IS SOMETHING FOR YOUR CHILDREN!! You getting healthy will keep you in their lives longer. You keep doing what you're doing for YOU!!! Spend other time with your children..you need this...I wish you luck with it!!
  • lcgr13
    lcgr13 Posts: 12 Member
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    If Mama's not happy... ain't nobody happy!
    Enjoy your time on the treadmill.
  • moondawg14
    moondawg14 Posts: 249 Member
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    Your kids probably appreciate the break as much as you do.

    THIS. AND, your kids will be happier and more self-sufficient if they have some "alone time" every day too!

    Read this. I'm not saying DO THIS. I'm saying read it, and then decide if maybe your kids will be OK, nay GREAT, if you let them wander for a little while every day.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/lifeandstyle/2013/may/04/leave-them-kids-alone-griffiths

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