Dating/Relationships
Replies
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scottacular wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
You sound so much like me, not even slightly exaggerating here. I can relate on literally everything you say there. It's kind of reassuring really that someone else is like this, as awful as I'm sure that sounds, sorry.
No, it doesn't sound awful. The fact that you can relate is actually reassuring to me as well. I very nearly didn't post that comment, but I'm glad I did now.0 -
TheNoLeafClover wrote: »scottacular wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
You sound so much like me, not even slightly exaggerating here. I can relate on literally everything you say there. It's kind of reassuring really that someone else is like this, as awful as I'm sure that sounds, sorry.
No, it doesn't sound awful. The fact that you can relate is actually reassuring to me as well. I very nearly didn't post that comment, but I'm glad I did now.
I hope you both have someone around to bounce this stuff off of. I know how much this *kitten* can hurt to keep it bottle up.0 -
yopeeps025 wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
I was also a late bloomer myself. I know some men who are 27-28 and right where you are right now.
I like your thinking though that you feel as though you can take some responsibility and better yourself although you might not be the problem. A dark forest in Pennsyltucky (not my words). Before I moved out there, I told this girl I was moving to Waynesboro and that was how she describe where I was living. I got to live in Waynesboro for a little over a year and yes things are a little different than other places.
Yeah, my location doesn't exactly help matters. There is not much here except trees, cows, fields, and people I really don't get along with. I know there are others out there who struggle with the same issues, I guess it's just easy to forget that when it seems everyone else is more experienced than me. I feel a bit better now, though. Thank you.0 -
TheNoLeafClover wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
I was also a late bloomer myself. I know some men who are 27-28 and right where you are right now.
I like your thinking though that you feel as though you can take some responsibility and better yourself although you might not be the problem. A dark forest in Pennsyltucky (not my words). Before I moved out there, I told this girl I was moving to Waynesboro and that was how she describe where I was living. I got to live in Waynesboro for a little over a year and yes things are a little different than other places.
Yeah, my location doesn't exactly help matters. There is not much here except trees, cows, fields, and people I really don't get along with. I know there are others out there who struggle with the same issues, I guess it's just easy to forget that when it seems everyone else is more experienced than me. I feel a bit better now, though. Thank you.
I think your location might hurt a little bit. Although shippensburg was probably the most interesting place I have been to. Especially those bars. I have never been hit on by someone taller than me. This girl was a full head + literally taller than me. My whole height being an issues went right out the window.
I was dancing with her and could not believe that I was staring at like her upper shoulder blades. Some how her legs were not that much longer than mine.0 -
Too many people waste time looking for that ideal someone. No one is ideal. We all have issues and rough edges, the trick is to find someone willing to bump into your rough edges until they fit perfectly with their own rough edges. Oh and don't say "well I have to be attracted to him/her" You are asking to be single forever if looks are the first quality you go for. You need to get to know people to know if they are attractive because attraction has to be more than skin deep. There is someone for everyone but your someone might not look like you expect. They might not have all the bells and whistles but they may still be the one person that can make you happy in the long run.0
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This thread is interesting.. and yes I've bee reading it the whole way through. I have dated, long term, short term, 1 date, 3 dates, online, etc. Just over a year ago I went through a lot of "stuff" and was completely hooked on someone that was crazy for me but couldn't bring himself to being with me. With that, I swore off being with anyone and decided to focus on myself and my job... I did, for 2 weeks. I then travelled for work from Ontario to Quebec and met a co-worker, for the 2nd time, and we just hit it off. We've been together since. It's going to be a year next month. I left my family and friends 8 hours away and moved to Quebec in July and I've never been happier.
Many people said it and I never believed them, stop looking and it just happens. It did. We have been talking engagement and I've already picked out my ring.
If there is anyone who has been through hell and back with relationships, it's me. I was once told by a councillor "You've been through more at the age of 25 (I'm now 32) than any 50 year old I know!" Imagine, I still have another 7 years to top that off! It was a rough go, but worth every sacrafice and heart ache. I now have the man I've been waiting for my whole life and an awesome step son
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This thread is oddly comforting. My first relationship spanned 3 years (age 19-22), but was internationally long distance...and not like a little bit long distance, it was US to UK. So I saw him a total of 4 times in 3 years. We went our separate ways around August, still friends though. I tried dating after, got lead on and/or used. I figured the first time is shame on you, after that it's just a reoccurring pattern with myself being the common element. Conclusion was that maybe I'm just not at that point yet, too naive and trusting to date. So I've decided to take a year long dating hiatus for 2015. No looking, no dating, just focusing on myself and my own personal goals. I don't mind being single, I'm comfortable alone.0
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Nerdy...plenty of time and guys for you to date! Wise to take time to yourself!0
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Single two years but I'm OK with that. Mostly I enjoy being single, sure I miss having a spouse every now and then but mostly I rock the single parent life lol0
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TheNoLeafClover wrote: »scottacular wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
You sound so much like me, not even slightly exaggerating here. I can relate on literally everything you say there. It's kind of reassuring really that someone else is like this, as awful as I'm sure that sounds, sorry.
No, it doesn't sound awful. The fact that you can relate is actually reassuring to me as well. I very nearly didn't post that comment, but I'm glad I did now.
I'm glad I started this thread, I don't feel so much of an outcast now, just part of a group of people who haven't yet figured it all out.
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yopeeps025 wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »scottacular wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
You sound so much like me, not even slightly exaggerating here. I can relate on literally everything you say there. It's kind of reassuring really that someone else is like this, as awful as I'm sure that sounds, sorry.
No, it doesn't sound awful. The fact that you can relate is actually reassuring to me as well. I very nearly didn't post that comment, but I'm glad I did now.
I hope you both have someone around to bounce this stuff off of. I know how much this *kitten* can hurt to keep it bottle up.
It's difficult because I tell this stuff to people I know and they just come back meaningless words of politeness. It's sort of amusing when people who are in relationships tell you they aren't all that. Thank goodness for the internet.0 -
scottacular wrote: »yopeeps025 wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »scottacular wrote: »TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
You sound so much like me, not even slightly exaggerating here. I can relate on literally everything you say there. It's kind of reassuring really that someone else is like this, as awful as I'm sure that sounds, sorry.
No, it doesn't sound awful. The fact that you can relate is actually reassuring to me as well. I very nearly didn't post that comment, but I'm glad I did now.
I hope you both have someone around to bounce this stuff off of. I know how much this *kitten* can hurt to keep it bottle up.
It's difficult because I tell this stuff to people I know and they just come back meaningless words of politeness. It's sort of amusing when people who are in relationships tell you they aren't all that. Thank goodness for the internet.
Oh they forgot what being single feels like. That is bs though. Not like my friends.
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Nerdy...plenty of time and guys for you to date! Wise to take time to yourself!
Thank you, I appreciate that. I think at the end of the day, it's important to be able to be comfortable on your own - otherwise you only end up using others as a means of escape. I think the time to focus on bettering myself will only be beneficial in the long run. At least than, whether or not I find someone, I can still be proud of who I am and what I've accomplished. 0
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