Dating/Relationships
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you are not the only one. lol I've been divorced since 2008...have dated quite a bit since then but nothing has worked out. In fact, my brother asked over Christmas if I thought I'd ever get married again. I told him it would have to be someone incredible because after all this I have a pretty good protective wall built up and a phobia of marriage. lol0
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Yes I knew you looked like someone familiar!! Couldn't put my finger on it though but there you go!
I look like every celebrity going according to this place XD
Some girls like that though
Where they hiding at!? D':0 -
chivalryder wrote: »Dating and relationships aren't worth the effort. So much effort and all you get is drama.
You're better off waiting to find someone who just wants sex. Meet, having fun for a few hours, then go your separate ways. Repeat once a week.
Either that, or get into kink. That stuff is fun too.
Is this post supposed to be ironic? Your screen name is chivalryder.....0 -
If i didn't live across a sea, I would totally date you
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Stahp!
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yourradimradletshug wrote: »I have had relationships but they all seem to fail. I have kinda just stopped looking and figure that the right person will find ME when the time is right. I still go on dates but lately I have been meeting a bunch of *kitten* haha.
haha My life
mine too
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Recently divorced and trying to date with kids now is definitely awkward lol0
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<-- 100% single and have been for, oh ... approximately *mumble* years. I've tried both the "actively seeking" and "passively seeking" methods to no avail. At this point, I have pretty much resigned to the fact that I am destined to become the male equivalent of the Crazy Cat Lady (Crazy Cat Guy) / Old Maid (Old Butler).
I'd totally date a crazy cat guy! ...But I'd probably end up spending more time with the cats than with him...0 -
As a "crazy cat guy," I would point out that spending time with the cats IS spending time with him (what do you think I do during my free time?).MarziPanda95 wrote: »<-- 100% single and have been for, oh ... approximately *mumble* years. I've tried both the "actively seeking" and "passively seeking" methods to no avail. At this point, I have pretty much resigned to the fact that I am destined to become the male equivalent of the Crazy Cat Lady (Crazy Cat Guy) / Old Maid (Old Butler).
I'd totally date a crazy cat guy! ...But I'd probably end up spending more time with the cats than with him...
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midwesterner85 wrote: »
As a "crazy cat guy," I would point out that spending time with the cats IS spending time with him (what do you think I do during my free time?).MarziPanda95 wrote: »<-- 100% single and have been for, oh ... approximately *mumble* years. I've tried both the "actively seeking" and "passively seeking" methods to no avail. At this point, I have pretty much resigned to the fact that I am destined to become the male equivalent of the Crazy Cat Lady (Crazy Cat Guy) / Old Maid (Old Butler).
I'd totally date a crazy cat guy! ...But I'd probably end up spending more time with the cats than with him...
True!0 -
A couple of years ago my aunt commented "it's time we hear the pitter-patter of little feet around here during the holidays." I shot that down with, "well somebody better find a husband for me and wives for brother and cousins." Still hasn't happened for any of us! I think the family is going to die out... like dinosaurs.0
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im nervous i may be to perverted for some guys.. sighhh0
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ive had guys NOT want to leave me for the reasons of what my mouth can do, so hard..0
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lisalips30 wrote: »ive had guys NOT want to leave me for the reasons of what my mouth can do, so hard..
well this just got interesting ;p
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I'm starting to really, really get discouraged too. It seems like as soon as things start getting intense, it just all turns into a shitshow. I've had this good friend for almost 8 years now, never met...he lives in another country. Earlier this year he wanted to fly down and visit me and I kinda shot him down cause I was getting over a 6 year relationship that ended terribly. Anyway, me and this friend reconnected end of November and just....the timing was right for me and we fell head over heels for eachother. Talked every day, Skyped, were planning on meeting in April....
Then his chronic illness started flaring up a couple weeks ago and I haven't talked to him in a week. I've messaged him to ask how he is cause he was waiting for test results....nothing. He reads my messages but no response. It is absolutely breaking me. And this is a guy I've known for ages and really trust and I've told him things that maybe a handful of people know about me. I miss him every damn day and I'm trying my best to keep my chin up but I honestly........I'm worried about him and so so sad.
It's just things like this that make me lose hope completely.0 -
Sorry for the rant. It feels good to get it off my chest and I'm glad to know I'm not the only one feeling discouraged.0
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dont worry Sas, sometimes us guys just for whatever reason take a few weeks out from the ones we care about, rightly or wrongly he might be just doing the same. if he is reading your messages he is still thinking of you. chin up gal
xx0 -
Hmm... broke up with my last bf 2 Xmas' ago. Knew he wasn't interested in anything permanent from the getgo and that was fine at the time. Time passed, I changed, he did not. So I moved on.
For the past 4 months, I've been on 4 dating sites. My latest "date" was an ok evening, but the conversation consisted of me asking an open-ended question and him answering in a finite way; me going on for a bit on that open-ended topic, then asking another open-ended question and him answering in another finite way. Yada yada.
Well, I got a great new profile picture out of it (see above) when a woman at the museum we visited volunteered to take a picture of me in the conceptual art show we were viewing. 0 -
dont worry Sas, sometimes us guys just for whatever reason take a few weeks out from the ones we care about, rightly or wrongly he might be just doing the same. if he is reading your messages he is still thinking of you. chin up gal
xx
Si you're just a freaking doll. Thank you so much. It would sure be nice if he'd just tell me, "hey I need some time to myself" or something instead of just vanishing I think men are just as complicated as women! 0 -
47Jacqueline wrote: »Hmm... broke up with my last bf 2 Xmas' ago. Knew he wasn't interested in anything permanent from the getgo and that was fine at the time. Time passed, I changed, he did not. So I moved on.
For the past 4 months, I've been on 4 dating sites. My latest "date" was an ok evening, but the conversation consisted of me asking an open-ended question and him answering in a finite way; me going on for a bit on that open-ended topic, then asking another open-ended question and him answering in another finite way. Yada yada.
Well, I got a great new profile picture out of it (see above) when a woman at the museum we visited volunteered to take a picture of me in the conceptual art show we were viewing.
Heeheehee you're so cute! Are you an artist yourself?
I HATE when you wind up with a person who has no conversation skills and is unable to show any interest in you back.0 -
Hmm, have been single for 9 years. At this point I think I actively keep myself out of potential relationships as I'm so used to being alone. Strangely...it doesn't bother me very much.
Certain times of year it can get a bit lonely sure, but the rest of the time you barely notice. I build up impossibly high standards, especially for a guy like me, but the beauty of it is, no one can meet these standards, so I never have to take that step of getting emotionally attached.0 -
@SassyMoonbeams I totally understand. Many years ago, I had a similar situation with someone in another country. I felt like we connected with each other sooo well, and I had completely fallen for her. We were talking about meeting in person some day, maybe moving in together (was looking into legal issues with immigration, work, etc.). Then one day, she stopped showing up online. She just suddenly stopped responding to messages and wasn't online anymore. I found out a few months later that she had been in a pretty bad car wreck... it's tough, but sometimes things just happen that we cannot control and it isn't our fault that a good relationship ended. We are sometimes a victim of circumstances.0
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I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.0 -
The thing about relationships is you'll only ever get it right once, and that's the one that lasts for ever. Just have fun along the way
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I have been single for a while myself.0
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The thing about relationships is you'll only ever get it right once, and that's the one that lasts for ever. Just have fun along the way
So incredibly true! I've been in many relationships that have been long term, and one marriage, but I realize that there's only ONE out there for me which will be the forever kind of thing. I'm enjoying the fun of dating and just taking time to be ME. My forever guy will come along when he is supposed to, but for now - it's about having fun and taking time to just be me 0 -
TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
You sound so much like me, not even slightly exaggerating here. I can relate on literally everything you say there. It's kind of reassuring really that someone else is like this, as awful as I'm sure that sounds, sorry.
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SassyMoonbeams wrote: »I'm starting to really, really get discouraged too. It seems like as soon as things start getting intense, it just all turns into a shitshow. I've had this good friend for almost 8 years now, never met...he lives in another country. Earlier this year he wanted to fly down and visit me and I kinda shot him down cause I was getting over a 6 year relationship that ended terribly. Anyway, me and this friend reconnected end of November and just....the timing was right for me and we fell head over heels for eachother. Talked every day, Skyped, were planning on meeting in April....
Then his chronic illness started flaring up a couple weeks ago and I haven't talked to him in a week. I've messaged him to ask how he is cause he was waiting for test results....nothing. He reads my messages but no response. It is absolutely breaking me. And this is a guy I've known for ages and really trust and I've told him things that maybe a handful of people know about me. I miss him every damn day and I'm trying my best to keep my chin up but I honestly........I'm worried about him and so so sad.
It's just things like this that make me lose hope completely.
I ended up speaking to someone on here who I was randomly friends with from another country. Got on great, had wonderfully weird conversations, e-mailed each other, vaguely discussed meeting up in no great detail. Then just nothing, it all stopped. Bit of a shame really, but lesson learned. No more putting any great faith in internet friendships, I'd rather meet someone first and then use the internet to keep that relationship/friendship/whatever you want to call it going as opposed to the other way around. But I understand people do find happiness off the internet, but for someone like me, the reassurance of a physical presence is needed.
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TheNoLeafClover wrote: »I've been single since, well....always. I've never been on a date, I've been kissed exactly once, and the closest thing I've experienced to a relationship was an online friendship that turned into a complete trainwreck. I developed unrequited feelings for him and was toyed with and used for 2 years. I'm also awkward, nearly friendless, socially inept, and I suffer from crippling depression and anxiety. All things considered, I can't help but believe I will never experience real, mutual attraction.
I've learned something from all of that, though. As uncommon as it is for someone my age to be so inexperienced, I'm just not ready yet. I have nothing to offer, but I'm not willing to settle for someone unhealthy for me either. My most important realization? The only person who can fill the emptiness I feel, is me. It sucks, but sometimes the best thing we can do for ourselves, is to focus on ourselves. So, that's my plan. I have no hope for a miracle, but I'm going to keep becoming better. Maybe someday, when I'm finally ready, I'll get lucky.
I was also a late bloomer myself. I know some men who are 27-28 and right where you are right now.
I like your thinking though that you feel as though you can take some responsibility and better yourself although you might not be the problem. A dark forest in Pennsyltucky (not my words). Before I moved out there, I told this girl I was moving to Waynesboro and that was how she describe where I was living. I got to live in Waynesboro for a little over a year and yes things are a little different than other places.0
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