Looking for some support- I literally have none.

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Replies

  • Holly_Roman_Empire
    Holly_Roman_Empire Posts: 4,440 Member
    yoovie wrote: »
    hi there, im a single chick in nyc with no family.

    i have no support!

    good thing it turned out to have zero impact on my progress and apparently.. we all are in this alone!

    Well said.

    Support or not, you can lose the weight. In the end, you're only doing it for yourself anyway.

    OP, do you have a plan?
  • lawlifehanna
    lawlifehanna Posts: 90 Member
    My live-in boyfriend says he will support me, but he opposes most new dishes or any alterations to what we used to eat (creamy pastas) with every excuse in the book. His idea of working out is running a 5K as fast as he possibly can and that's it. He tries to be supportive in the sense of "oh, you logging food? nice", but then there's the other side of "there's veggies in this? it just can't taste good...". I added you, anybody else in similar situations is welcome to add as well.
  • 4bettermenow
    4bettermenow Posts: 166 Member
    Anyone can add me. I am on every day and will support your journey, especially if you support mine. :)
  • jeannine71
    jeannine71 Posts: 66 Member
    I'm with you...no support. Been there with the guy situation. Right now I have zero motivation and no one to work out with or talk to about this stuff...but I would be happy to offer my support...I think it works both ways ;)
  • CA_Underdog
    CA_Underdog Posts: 733 Member
    edited December 2014
    My live-in boyfriend says he will support me, but he opposes most new dishes or any alterations.. He tries to be supportive in the sense of "oh, you logging food? nice", but then there's the other side of "there's veggies in this?

    It sounds like he supports you making changes to your diet, but you're struggling to change your diet without impacting his. A couple ideas that work at my home--

    (1) For meals with multiple dishes, alter the portions appropriately. E.g., at a recent dinner my girlfriend had 3 servings of bread, 2 of veggies w/ bacon, 1 of chicken, and 0 of salad. I ate 1 serving of bread, 2 servings of chicken, 0 servings of veggies w/ bacon, and 2 servings of salad. Our foods had wildly different nutritional properties even though we were eating the same two dishes and two store-bought sides (bread, salad).

    (2) For single-dish meals, offer mix-ins. E.g., tacos or with a mac n' cheese dinner you could offer bacon and broccoli as mix-ins to be added after the fact. This provides opportunities for making the dish either more or less calorie- and nutrient-dense according to taste.
  • ProjectEm
    ProjectEm Posts: 130 Member
    Feel free to add me, too! Looking to go from about 240 to 215 this year. Small, manageable goals. If I lose more, awesome. If not, that was my goal.
  • Same here sister!! I have no support either!! My husband says eat one meal a day, I would die if I did that. Noone will walk with me so I wont go on my own. I don't like exercise and I don't have time after work with 3 kids. I have a desk job so I get no exercise at work. I have to eat little to nothing to loose and I get cranky when im starving. No one understands the struggle that I socialize with. I will be your friend!!

    You definitely don't have to eat one meal a day. I'm eating on a 1,200 calorie diet to shed these last few stubborn pounds and I'll tell you what I've had to eat just today:

    Bowl of muesli for breakfast.
    A bologna and cheese sandwich for lunch.
    A dinner of potatoes, broccoli, and chicken sprinkled with cheese.
    One and a half servings of cereal for a finale.
    Total calories: 909

    I have almost 300 calories to burn on basically anything! I certainly don't feel like I'm starving. Nor do I exercise more than once a week. I'm losing about a pound a week.
  • vdonalds
    vdonalds Posts: 24 Member
    Count me in! I'm at 200 lbs too. I'm 35 and have three kids. I don't have much support either. I would love more friends for motivation too. It's rough when your friends are a lot smaller. They just don't get it.
  • Feel free to add me I'm looking for friends to make the journey more fun!
  • MaryPoppinsIAint
    MaryPoppinsIAint Posts: 157 Member
    Sent you a request, hon! You got this!
  • MegE_N
    MegE_N Posts: 245 Member
    My live-in boyfriend says he will support me, but he opposes most new dishes or any alterations to what we used to eat (creamy pastas) with every excuse in the book. His idea of working out is running a 5K as fast as he possibly can and that's it. He tries to be supportive in the sense of "oh, you logging food? nice", but then there's the other side of "there's veggies in this? it just can't taste good...". I added you, anybody else in similar situations is welcome to add as well.

    My fiance is the same way. Not that he's not supportive, he's very supportive and he's lost about 30lbs too. But he HATES veg while I am trying hard to stay away from empty calories (rice) which he loves. Basically when we cook, we make the grains separate. He'll usually put rice in with his curry, for example, where I'll just eat the chicken, chickpeas, etc. I also make a point of making my own lunches as much as possible, so I get to determine what I eat then. If I'm eating with him later that night I know to make my own lunch a bit lighter.
  • djscavone
    djscavone Posts: 133 Member
    I had the same numbers. I was 200 and wanted to hit 175 by memorial day (appeared to be a good distance away at the time) and I came in at 174. First thing is as many have stated you need to do this for yourself and no one else. Set small achievable goals not not some daunting huge goal. Go out and walk alone - MAKE TIME. There are 24 hours in a day so you can find 15 minute chunks of time and then 30 and so on. Find out why you gain weight as in eating or drinking? No one who drinks wine losses weight easily. Don't over count calories but be calorie aware. MFP is awesome for showing you what is in the food we eat for us.

    Keep us informed. Its a shame your spouse is not supportive. Could be insecurity where if you loose the weight you look too good for him and he can't compete.
  • yoovie
    yoovie Posts: 17,121 Member
    edited December 2014
    yoovie wrote: »
    Makes me sad to see women with no support, Where are all the real men? Time for them to step up.

    tell them to keep waiting til we're fit.

    If you wait for the "right" time it will never happen.

    tell that to all the people that won't get into shape until they have a support system ;)

    we should be able to do this on our own. If the guys can, so can we :bigsmile:

  • xfit229
    xfit229 Posts: 35 Member
    u guys could add me also.. im all for supporting for a healthy lifestyle. Just got to put the work in...work hard and dedication will prevail..
  • Angurla
    Angurla Posts: 159 Member
    Feel free to add me. Im sure you will find alot of busy people with tips. My hubby and I work 2 jobs so we prepare a weeks worth of lunches on Sundays. I also preplan a month of dinners and do freezer cooking. I dont have time to plan on the fly and that is what gets me into trouble. Its sounds like your first struggle is going to be eating the right food and the right amounts. Food is a major part of weight loss and I suggest you tackle that challenge first. Make a commitment to yourself, you deserve it!
  • Motivated1989
    Motivated1989 Posts: 53 Member
    I'm in the same boat, no support from those around me. I'm 25 years old, live with my sister. I've been trying to lose weight since November of last year, half heartedly into it until October of this year. I tried to get my sister to go on this journey with me but she's not as determined as I am about it. My parents and sister are no support, make jokes about me counting calories and try to push unhealthy foods at me. I've currently lost 46 lbs but would love to have people to go through this journey with for inspiration and motivation on those days where I just don't feel like I'm seeing any results.
  • dsimmons107
    dsimmons107 Posts: 387 Member
    Well I started with little support or friends on here. I had lost about 20 pounds before I started using MFP. I felt I was driven and motivated and did not care about having support. I have learned that friends on here who you are engaged with don't just motivate you they also inspire you to do better. They inspire you to push harder. They are good people who you can count on. And quite frequently they have some really good advice if you ask. If you are committed some of the best support you will get will be from your MFP friends. Some will motivate you just by their dedication and consistency. "But you have to show up, dress up and do the work." That is from one of my MFP Friends. She may say I did not quite get the quote right but I got the idea. If any of you want to add me please do. Not to be mean or rude but I do delete people from my friends list who do not show up, dress up and do the work. My name is Don BTW.
  • Add me
  • thultisu
    thultisu Posts: 11 Member
    I'll support you if you support me! It helps to have someone I have to show my workouts and meals to.
  • thultisu
    thultisu Posts: 11 Member
    I don't know how to add friends, though so you add me if you want to.
  • sofaking6
    sofaking6 Posts: 4,589 Member
    thultisu wrote: »
    I don't know how to add friends, though so you add me if you want to.

    You can just click on a person's user name to get to their profile and there will be an "Add as Friend" button - it's good form to add a little note in the box they provide so the person knows why you want to be friends :)
  • kjurassic
    kjurassic Posts: 571 Member
    You have yourself! Please have confidence in the person you are and can be! If you want it bad enough, you WILL be able to do it. I have no one to support me - I've lost 80 lbs. I'm the one in control of "the fork" and motivating myself to stay active. I find the success stories keep me inspired but success is ultimately up to you.
  • tulips_and_tea
    tulips_and_tea Posts: 5,744 Member
    kjurassic wrote: »
    You have yourself! Please have confidence in the person you are and can be! If you want it bad enough, you WILL be able to do it. I have no one to support me - I've lost 80 lbs. I'm the one in control of "the fork" and motivating myself to stay active. I find the success stories keep me inspired but success is ultimately up to you.

    YES, thank you for saying this so nicely. I get that everyone is different and some people need (or think they need) full-time support, but what concerns me is what happens if your support is gone for some reason? Do you give up and go backwards? No. You have to rely on YOURSELF and yourself only. Find the strength within yourself to change because relying on others can also lead to blaming them if you don't succeed. Very bad spot to be in.
  • I'm in a very similar situation. Feel free to add me :)
  • Feel free to add me...I am right with you on the time. I found it the easiest for me to plan my meals ahead (when I find that time) I also have the habit of running out of healthy things and then have to resort to what the kids eat in the house. I am working on having a healthy supply always around...time management has never been my greatest strength. Anyway you can do this, we all can!
  • Ldbg289
    Ldbg289 Posts: 236 Member
    you can add me if you want
  • paxbfl
    paxbfl Posts: 391 Member
    I was the unsupportive husband for a while. My wife would get up every morning before work to hit the gym, and she would eat healthy while I ate whatever I wanted. But as she stuck with it and made progress she inspired me (plus I didn't want to be her fat husband). So I finally got my butt in gear and lost 50 pounds. So my advice is to do this with or without your spouse's support. You never know where your effort will lead. Now my wife and I are on the same page and we support and encourage each other. Feel free to add me - happy to lend support!
  • jklei169
    jklei169 Posts: 120 Member
    I am in a similar situation. The food and lifestyle choices of friends and family make it difficult gets and maintain good health. There is often times cakes and chocolates here to snack on and any time there is a family meal I hear "it's a sin to diet on a holiday" or if I eat small portions, "didnt your like my meal?" And my favorite, why can't your eat normal food. Like fruits and vegetables are not normal. Very frustrating. Send me a FR if you would like some support or someone to vent your frustrations to. If I do not hear from you. I wish you much success in reaching your goals
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