Hating myself.
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Getting out of the house is EXACTLY what you need to do. Get up, get moving. Don't push yourself too hard. Make small goals.
^^^ exactly this! Good luck and add me as a friend if you want, as I log on & comment daily for support.
Good luck
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Getting out of the house is EXACTLY what you need to do. Get up, get moving. Don't push yourself too hard. Make small goals.
I agree with this. Small goals and just take it day by day. Getting outside may not sound great at first, but once you start moving around and absorbing sunlight, it will do wonders for your mood. I have found that limiting my sugar and caffeine has helped a bunch too.
As for the relationship, it might be a good idea to seek counseling, even if you are the only one going. There is no shame in getting help.0 -
First off, I've been to the point of hating myself. Did it do any good? Nope! I think you need to get out of the house with your kids and play with them, go on long walks, go to the park, start feeding everybody in the house healthy food.
You can't blame your husband for what's put in your mouth. I eat totally different than my husband so that's a lousy excuse. I've been at this for 3 hard months, and honestly it's hard freaking work. I've learned to embrace myself, and love the changes that are happening on my body. Only you can do this!!
This and I think that you need to get some professional help. You need to be active with your kids, becoming depressed is not good for you or for them. Your kids love you and you should love yourself and them enough to NOT give up.0 -
Oh honey, I have been in your shoes a number of times!!! First of all if you would like to be friends then please feel free to check out my profile and add me. This goes for anyone else too who would like a new friend/pal.
You have to want this for YOU first of all......nobody can MAKE you go outside, eat right, workout or whatever else. You know you can do it cause you have done it before. I just had two funerals this week for my mom and my aunt and I ate LIKE CRAP and now feel horrible. Start small.....take a walk around the block everyday for say a week, keep a food journal, try to start back on your healthy snacks etc then increase it. If you have to go for the walk after dark so nobody will see you then do that but you need to start somewhere (even if it is just to the corner and back).
I too have been to get professional help and there is definitely no shame in that either. I have tried EVERY DIET there is but found that this and Curves Complete have worked for me. I know that I have AWESOME pals who will support, encourage, motivate me and back me in love no matter what!!!! They will also tell me the cold hard truth about my food journal etc but that is ok cause I know that they are doing cause they care.
Personally I would not tell your husband to "get lost" but try to set down tell him nicely that you have realized that you have started eating bad again and that you have decided to eat healthier, start exercising and so on and that he is welcome to join you but you will not force him. Let him know that you are doing this because you care about yourself, your health, your kids and their health AND his health; then leave it at that. He will more than likely follow by your example.
I hope this helps.
Hugs
Bev0 -
I understand exactly how you feel i gained my weight back as well and i dread putting on a bathing suit. However, things will not get better if you dont make some changes. Sitting around and doing nothing will only make you feel worse. Make small changes in the type of food you are eating. Eating healthy is contagious just as much as eating unhealthy is. If you make the changes and stand your ground your husband may follow once he sees you doing it. Also healthy food makes you feel better because it provides more energy. The reason we eat unhealthy food when we are stressed or emotional is because it releases chemicals to make you feel happy but it is a fast high with an even bigger low. Working out releases the same chemical with a longer lasting high. Which will get you out of the slump your in! Also don't make the workouts work. You have kids so find fun things to do with your kids and husband that will also be a workout. this will keep your whole family healthy! You will focus more on having fun with the family instead of a boring gym workout. Spend time working out with just your hubby as well!! WINK WINK hint hint!! it sounds like you guys need some ALONE time to work on your marriage and hey its burning calories so i consider it a workout!!! :blushing:0
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I agree with the first commenter who said getting out of the house is exactly what you need.
I'm the same way when I get depressed.
Getting out of the house and going somewhere AWAY FROM food.
Then you can't acess it and eat it. Bring a picnic, and that'll be all you have access to, then go to the beach, or forest or whatever.
Or a trampoline arena!
Or a skating rink!
Or even the movies!
With no cash for snacks!!!!
You'll be happy you got out and did something, maybe even got a small workout in the process ,and you'll be distracted and removed from food.0 -
just stop everything and breath. your head is in a whirl and unless you are logical and not emotional nothing will change here. put your kids, and husband aside and consider your health. is your weight putting you at a greater risk of heart disease, stroke or diabetis? maybe start there, by example your husband will follow and your kids will take pride in your accomplishments, I promise. If you are not around, your not around for your kids and husband so start with you. we all fall, now just get back up.
remember the simplicity of the program, eat whatever you want, just dont put ANY food or drink in your mouth without first writing it down, stay within your plan limits and exercise whenever possible (take the stairs, walk, sit ups, etc). you can and will be sucessful, just believe in yourself!0 -
I can totally relate. Its time to take stock of what you have. You have a husband that loves you, you have a husband you love. You have kids that love you and kids that you love. That's a whole lot of love. Yay you. Don't be hating yourself! I agree with everyone else. You wouldn't treat someone else the way you're treating yourself, and you don't deserve all those negative feelings you're projecting on yourself. Focus on what's great and work towards changing what you don't like. If you're feeling snacky, try making a nice fruit plate with watermelon, pineapple and strawberries. Sweet, cold and tastey, feel like something salty, make a plate with pickles and olives, cut up some colored fresh peppers and cucumbers. I also find when you want to kick start weight loss, all those nice diet products are a good way to get past the cravings and keep your calories down. Diet jellos, yogurts and puddings. There are baked potato chips or homemade popcorn. Sneak a hersheys kiss for 23 calories. Lots of 35 calorie popsicles for this time of year. Cheer up buttercup. Life is what you make of it. Take the kiddies for a walk to the park. Crank up the radio and be silly. Whatever makes you smile.0
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(hug). I can empathize. I have an eating disorder. I live and breathe food. If I'm not eating, I'm thinking about eating. Totally unhealthy! And, I too, hate myself much of the time. But look at it this way.......your kids love you. They see something worthy to love in you. Treat yourself as you would want them treated....most likely like kings and queens!
I recently had stage IV colon cancer- spread into my liver. I truly believe it was from my diet and lack of activity. I thought because I was tired that I'd been doing a lot- really I was tired because I hadn't been doing anything. " mommy-ing" doesn't count as exercise. (sigh). Anyway, the point I'm trying to get to is that I realized I had to take care of me so that I could take care of everyone else. And I do so want to be around for my kids. You know how when you're on an airplane and they tell you in case of emergency the oxygen mask will drop and how you should put it on yourself first before helping the child or person next to you....well, it's like that- take care of yourself first! You may just find that you will be happier by dong so and in turn, your relationships will be too.
Good luck!0 -
Get off your *kitten*!
How much weight do you need to lose? Break it up into several mini goals and plan a reward for yourself when you meet them. Ex: 5 pounds lost, buy self some cute earrings....15 pounds, new shorts....ETC. Breaking a large goal up into several smaller goals can help suppress the overwhelming feeling of "OMG this is im-freakin-possible."
Secondly, if you don't want your kids to hide in shame while going in public with you, do something about it. Now. Feeling sad and worthless and throwing up while looking at your reflection isn't making you any smaller.
And thirdly, don't blame anyone but yourself. My husband is a lucky person who has a great metabolism and doesn't have to worry about what he eats very much, and he stuffs his cookie hole with more pizza and lard than I can shake a stick at-- HERE'S THE POINT: I don't care. He can eat it if he wants. Nothing I can put in my mouth will taste as good as losing weight feels. If your husband wants to eat a stick of fried butter drizzled in chocolate and then smeared with peanut butter-- good for him! You don't have to worry about him looking like a fat *kitten*! YOU worry about YOU. You do whatever you need to do to stay on track. If that involves eating naked in front of the mirror everytime you wanna binge-- so be it! Don't blame anyone else for the things you stick in your mouth!
Lastly: Plan on succeeding. Have a can-do attitude and the pounds will fall off. Buy your own personal supply of healthy food and don't allow anyone else to eat it if need be. In the mornings, go ahead and fill your calorie diary with what you're going to eat/drink/do. And then carry it out. If you are following a simple plan and can stay on track, you will end up better off in the long run. There are no secrets to losing weight: Eat less, eat better quiality food when you do eat, and get off your *kitten* and quit feeling sorry for yourself. Believe you can, and you will.
Sorry for the tough love.0 -
OY, sigh.
Look deep deep inside.....you have to learn to love yourself ....to smile....to be happy for you. Period. Food is a band aide for something, what? Become aware.....google beautiful.org or other groups....secret scrolls.....read awareness/self help books....I'm trying to nicely say please pull your head out of your bum & take control of your life.....you deserve it.0 -
I'm done. I hate myself so much right now and absolutely disgust myself. I was doing so well with eating healthy, losing weight, being active. Then our life just took a horrible turn and I literally holed myself up in my room and don't want to be seen by anyone anymore. I am embarrassed by how I look and am embarrassed for my kids. I have no excuse for myself. I just quit caring. Today, I looked in a full length mirror and about made myself throw up. The sad part, is I gained all my weight back and then some. It all seemed to come back straight to my upper stomach and I feel like I look preggo (which I'm not), but I can't suck it in anymore. Just needing some advice to get back into things again. I'm afraid to go out of the house anymore and with summer here, that's just not an option with my kiddos. I'm a snacker, and emotional eater, etc. I was doing so well with healthier snacks, but now that I've fallen into bad habits again, it seems I'm hungrier now. The worst part is my husband has gained more back than I have all he ever wants to do is go to eat, or eat crappy foods. I don't want to make him made and cranky, so I give in, and always feel absolutely horrible after. It's taken a toll on our relationship as we hardly talk anymore and I try to avoid him so I don't have to even talk about it anymore (we have the discussion almost daily). How do I get past the point of feeling disgusted and worthless? I'm just trying to reach out for some advice....sorry for rambling on.
First, PRAY!! Second, GET UP!!! and go for a walk for fresh air!
You can "pray" till the sun burns out and you won't ACCOMPLISH A DAMNED THING.. DO SOMETHING0 -
A lot of different motivation techniques posted :-) Whether I agree with the wording or not, THANK YOU. Just the fact that you posted, I appreciate the help! Everyone deals with things differently, so I understand some are kind and some, not so much LOL. I will pray, as I do everyday for strength. I see nothing wrong with that, it's a perfect starting point. I continued on with my shopping trip today - a lot of snacking foods, but all fruits & veggies & yogurts & string cheese. If I can just replace the chips/candy with fruits & veggies, I think that's a HUGE accomplishment. Thank you again for all the posts, messages, friend requests for support, etc. I truly do appreciate it all!!!0
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You've just got to suck it up and get your stuff together.
Quit sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself because that doesn't actually accomplish anything.
If you truly want the results you say you do then you need to put some action behind it.
exactly this.
You're sitting there thinking... thinking about how you want to be, used to be, should be, will never be.... etc etc
It's all in your head... there is nothing going ON.... just thoughts and self pity... which doesn't achieve anything
We all have bad days, bad times.... but then you have to stop, take stock and change the way things are going before they get completely out of control0 -
You've just got to suck it up and get your stuff together.
Quit sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself because that doesn't actually accomplish anything.
If you truly want the results you say you do then you need to put some action behind it.
Exactly. There is a whole lot of thinking going on with you but not enough action.... you're all about what you should be, what you wish you were, what you think you are, what you're never going to be... etc etc
It's all negative crap
Do something positive and that will lead you to where you want to actually be
Go shopping. Buy some lean meats and fish... buy some fruit and veggies and nuts
Work out an exercise plan for the whole week and do it. Stick to it
*kitten* what your husbands doing. He doesn't rule you
The chances are when he sees the changes that are happening with you he will follow suit anyway.
Give him something to follow
Someone has to be strong. Why shouldn't it be you?0 -
A lot of different motivation techniques posted :-) Whether I agree with the wording or not, THANK YOU. Just the fact that you posted, I appreciate the help! Everyone deals with things differently, so I understand some are kind and some, not so much LOL. I will pray, as I do everyday for strength. I see nothing wrong with that, it's a perfect starting point. I continued on with my shopping trip today - a lot of snacking foods, but all fruits & veggies & yogurts & string cheese. If I can just replace the chips/candy with fruits & veggies, I think that's a HUGE accomplishment. Thank you again for all the posts, messages, friend requests for support, etc. I truly do appreciate it all!!!
i agree, that is a huge accomplishment.
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sing it sister 0
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A lot of different motivation techniques posted :-) Whether I agree with the wording or not, THANK YOU. Just the fact that you posted, I appreciate the help! Everyone deals with things differently, so I understand some are kind and some, not so much LOL. I will pray, as I do everyday for strength. I see nothing wrong with that, it's a perfect starting point. I continued on with my shopping trip today - a lot of snacking foods, but all fruits & veggies & yogurts & string cheese. If I can just replace the chips/candy with fruits & veggies, I think that's a HUGE accomplishment. Thank you again for all the posts, messages, friend requests for support, etc. I truly do appreciate it all!!!
Good for you! You can do this 0 -
I did it. Fooled my head LOL I made a "snack platter" for lunch. I was stuffed afterwards and yet, it felt like I snacked. Score for me!
2 Wasa Crisps w/ Homemade Tuna Salad, topped with cucumber slices
Grape Tomatoes
Red Seedless Grapes
Weight Watchers String Cheese
1/2 serving of Whole Natural Almonds
CALORIES: Just under 300.
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wow I'm so jealous of your snack platter. my snack would be only the stick of cheese lol. Hooray for having a bigger cal allowance though! Know that there are people out here jealous of your snack cal allowance and cheering you on. Wishing the best for you and happy snacking. Snacks are just as important to me as meals. I plan them meticulously and my eating plan would not work without them, so I am so proud of you for figuring out this important part of your eating. You have the puzzle solved now it's just follow through, you got this! :flowerforyou:0
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wow I'm so jealous of your snack platter. my snack would be only the stick of cheese lol. Hooray for having a bigger cal allowance though! Know that there are people out here jealous of your snack cal allowance and cheering you on. Wishing the best for you and happy snacking. Snacks are just as important to me as meals. I plan them meticulously and my eating plan would not work without them, so I am so proud of you for figuring out this important part of your eating. You have the puzzle solved now it's just follow through, you got this! :flowerforyou:
I've never thought of it as a puzzle, but in reality, it truly is! One piece at a time and it all will fall together eventually right?0 -
We all feel crappy at times! But u can do this0
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How do I get past the point of feeling disgusted and worthless?
You are NOT worthless. As a matter of fact, you are pretty much dealing with an issue that many people here are. We have ignored ourselves for so long and gotten ourselves into the worst habits physcially and mentally we ever could have, it seems like a useless battle. And we take that out on ourselves that if the battle is useless, we are in turn useless...worhtless, disgusting....etc. But that is NOT true.
Say it with me chica! "I am not worthless and this struggle will NOT define me!"
But it IS a struggle. You need to fight against yourself, your bad habits, your negative thoughts, your own persona of neglect and indlugence that you have cultivated. You, THE REAL YOU, is down inside wanting to get past it all and you ahve the will to do it. But you have to overcome your mind and body to do it. At some point though, all of it will align.
It isn't a diet. It isn't quick. It isn't easy. It daily challenge that you commit to yourself for the rest of your life. Thought the ups and downs, through thick and thin (litterally), and till death do you part! Commitment, consistency, and courage!
Keep making the best choices you can. Maybe start with one trouble area and when you feel you have a grasp on that, work in another, then another, then another, etc.
You CAN do it.
You ARE NOT worthless.
YOU ARE WORTH IT!0 -
You know I always feel better when I confront my problems. It seems that you have a few you need to work through.
One: you and hubby need to compromise. Some give and take. Let him know how important it is for you to get healthy. That you've been feeling really bad physically which is making you feel bad mentally. Then find a compromise with eating out (say a place that serves healthy alternatives). Meaning my husband and I used to go to this down home seafood place. They served the best fried foods. That used to be something I LOVED to eat. Well one day we went there while I was trying to eat healthier. Though that fried shrimp and fish tempted me to no end I decided to try out the blackened fish and sweet potato with no butter. I love sweet potatoes. I enjoyed it and when I left I felt great. Unfortunately my hubby ate a glutinous amount of fried foods and was totally miserable after dinner.
Two: The best way for me to control my emotional eating is making sure that I have no foods in the house that trigger it my eating. I have a rule that I won't bring in already made desserts in to the house. All desserts will have to be home made. And any pre-prepared junk food for the kids will always be something that I don't like. Though once I took junk out of the house the kids loved the fruit I brought in instead. Also if it is just something that hubby wants then I keep it out of sight. Out of sight usually is out of mind. I finally gave up diet coke after realizing that (even though I knew it was unhealthy) it was making me bloated. It has been 6 weeks and I've only had one carbonated beverage. I also made a promise to myself that I would do something every day to be healthier. So when I feel good I have a good work out and when I feel sluggish and terrible I do as much as I can. I have found that if I take a day off then I end up being sluggish the next day and am more likely to take a second day off which leads to a second that turns in to a week. Come up with a plan that you can stick with. Start small. One habit at a time.
three: you have to love yourself! Size doesn't dictate your worth. It is inside that matters. You have the unconditional love of your children. I know I've had my share of ups and downs and what has helped me in the past is confronting my feelings. Why do you hate yourself? Make a list? What is good about you? Make a list. Ask your loved one's what makes you special if you can't think of anything good about you. I am very sure there is plenty it is just that sometimes we tend to get bogged down by our 'failures'. Think of those "failures" as just bumps in the road. Once you have made a list look at it critically and ask yourself if it actually makes sense that you are so harsh on yourself. Then attack those problems that are dragging you down. You need to know that you are more than just successes or failures! And if there are things that are dragging you down then you do what you need to do to get rid of them.
I liked a lot of the other people's thoughts and advice.0 -
I totally agree. I think a big part of it is losing yourself. Many of us as moms, dads, husbands, wives, lose ourselves in everyone else. I was giving all that I had to others and took little or nothing for myself.How do I get past the point of feeling disgusted and worthless?
You are NOT worthless. As a matter of fact, you are pretty much dealing with an issue that many people here are. We have ignored ourselves for so long and gotten ourselves into the worst habits physcially and mentally we ever could have, it seems like a useless battle. And we take that out on ourselves that if the battle is useless, we are in turn useless...worhtless, disgusting....etc. But that is NOT true.
I felt guilty leaving my girls in my husband's care so I can exercise for an hour. Though hubby told me I should take time for myself, when I actually did he would get mad and make snide little remarks about how everything was all about me and that I was taking his time for himself away from him. He was going through a depressed time in his life where he hated his job.
I never had ME time. And we all deserve ME time. My husband doesn't act like that anymore thank goodness. But it did take time for him to get that he was subconsciously undermining my weight loss. I had a lot of resentment of him back then. I often wonder if he did that because he was worried that if he was fat and I was not then I would have more options than just being married to him. Which was stupid but sometimes we aren't so bright. Now that he has lost a ton of weight he no longer tries to put obstacles in my way.
Just remember that you are not alone. Though your situation is not the same as what I dealt with it is still something that you will have to wade through and fix.
I fixed my situation by telling myself that I was worthy. That I deserved to take time for myself. That by taking time for me I created a happier me. A happier me created a happier mom which created happier children which made a happier family.0 -
It's been 6 weeks and recent posters....you have NO idea how much I needed this reminder again lately. Summer seems to be evil with no schedule as much with the kids running around, daylight lasting longer, and many nights of not eating meals together. At the same time, though, we're going non stop, so it gives me less boredom eating too. AND a lot more fruits & veggies available right now as well. As of this morning's weigh-in, I've officially lost 12 pounds in 6 weeks. I'm starting to see a difference in myself. Small differences, but still differences. I've cheated, but it seems if I don't let the guilt about it consume me, I get right back on track with no issues. It really is amazing how much difference a good outlook can make.
Thank you all again for giving me that push....to see what I deserve. I appreciate it so much!0 -
You've just got to suck it up and get your stuff together.
Quit sitting around and feeling sorry for yourself because that doesn't actually accomplish anything.
If you truly want the results you say you do then you need to put some action behind it.
This! Stop it! Snap out of it! No one can motivate you but yourself and the mirror. Stop feeling sorry and use that towrds your goals.0
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