Why do I still feel fat ?
dorothy2512
Posts: 21 Member
I have slimmed down from 215 lbs to 135 lbs and I do feel good, but I have been trying to lose this last 11 lbs for me to reach my true goal of 124 lbs, and I seem to struggle so much with this last bit, my family and friends, all say that I look fine as I am and I don't need to lose anymore, but I feel like a failure, for not finishing what I started, and that makes me feel fat.
I can't seem to motivate myself to lose weight, I am maintaining my weight, within 3lbs and I seem to just carry on going between 134 lbs and 137 lbs.
I am 51, woman and am 5' 5" tall.
I know that I have done well losing the weight in the first place, but feel like a failure as I cannot seem to finish my journey !
I can't seem to motivate myself to lose weight, I am maintaining my weight, within 3lbs and I seem to just carry on going between 134 lbs and 137 lbs.
I am 51, woman and am 5' 5" tall.
I know that I have done well losing the weight in the first place, but feel like a failure as I cannot seem to finish my journey !
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Replies
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don't feel like a failure. If you really think you should be able to loose more change it up. do the 5/2 diet, try eating clean or find an exercise you love doing. your body gets used to the same old things you need to mix it up.
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Oh my gosh you've lost 80lbs! That's fantastic!
I'm also 5' 5" and I know there is no way whatsoever that my body would be healthy at 124lbs. Your body has most likely reached its perfect weight - perfect for you, not for your brain which has chosen a different goal.
Maybe you should focus on a different challenge now instead of weight loss. If you did a specific exercise regime to lose the weight, try something new. Try and run faster or further or lift heavier weights or swim more. Focus on something else. Focus on all the things you can do now you've lost that 80lbs. It may help shift your focus away from the last 11lbs you most likely do not need to lose and onto something more healthy.
There's no way losing 80lbs should make you feel you're still fat or a failure. Pick a goal that isn't weight loss now and achieve it - you can't be a failure then. Well done!0 -
I can sympathise. Having lost a significant amount of weight, with a bit to go still, some days I feel trim, other days I look at myself and say "ugh". But then I look at my starting photo, and I remember what fat was.
Your diary isn't open, so I can see if you are exercising or not. Exercising will make you stronger and feel better, and help you get through those last pounds. That said, failure is not a word you should be associating with yourself. 80 lbs off is a huge win! Give yourself a pat on the back; you've earned it!!!0 -
Firstly you are not a failure!! You have worked hard and long to get rid of that weight. (cue the marching band, gentleman jugglers, let's celebrate!!)
Great advice right herePrimalGirl wrote: »Pick a goal that isn't weight loss now and achieve it - you can't be a failure then. Well done!
and I would definatley listen to Mr Flatlndr (I can't resist 007)Exercising will make you stronger and feel better, and help you get through those last pounds. That said, failure is not a word you should be associating with yourself. 80 lbs off is a huge win! Give yourself a pat on the back; you've earned it!!!
Good luck!!!
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It takes time to get your head to catch up with your body. The first time I was aware of how out of touch I was with my body was when I noticed I kept choosing clothing sizes that were too big and had to ask the sale associate to bring me a smaller size - it went on for about 6 months.
Also, the weight you're at may be your maintenance weight. I'm 5'3" and weigh 126 (well, I'm 2lb above that after the holidays). I wear a size 4. In my range, it lists 115 as a possible goal, but I couldn't maintain that to save my life.
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Congrats on the 80 lbs gone! I highly advise going to see a medical specialist to determine what your weight should be for your particular frame - you may find that you are at the perfect weight now, or within your maintenance range. That being said, if 124 is within your range, then go for it. It took about 4 months to lose the last 10 pounds of the 46 I lost. Try new exercise activities - mine are barre3,walking and the occasionally 5 k run. I also found concentrating on getting enough sleep helped - not only lose the weight, but my mental well being also. The journey doesn't end when you hit the magic number on the scale, there is a reason we need a maintenance forum!!0
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Many thanks for all your kind comments, my profile on here, isn't open, as when I logged to lose the 80 lbs, my email got hacked and I couldn't get onto it anymore, so had to re- start on here again.
- I have arthritis in hips, hands and shoulders, so I walk on my treadmill, nearly every day and walk between 3-5 miles, throughout each day.
- I was told by the physio, that I could walk as much as I wanted but not to run at all, as it would upset my hips.
- But I think my body has got used to the walking, and perhaps I need to try something different, as you say.
- I am a small frame, and was always, 124 lbs, before I got married, 33 years ago, but haven't got there since, my mum is a small frame and was 6 St 13 when she got married, 60 years ago and is still the same weight now.
Some days, I do look at myself and know I have come a long way, but others, like today, I just feel fatter.
Thanks for all the advice.0 -
I'm 5'5" and been around 133 forever (want to get down to 130 at least) and I still feel fat too. I guess the difference is that I localize my fat areas, whereas before I was fat, well, all over. But the loose skin I have doesn't help either. I have a large frame though... but you're definitely not alone (and that's why I want to try to lose more now).0
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You lost 80 pounds. Go look at a starting photo!0
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You've come a long way.
I would suggest potentially lifting- and also picking a goal that's tangible that you can train toward and achieve.0 -
dorothy2512 wrote: »- I have arthritis in hips, hands and shoulders, so I walk on my treadmill, nearly every day and walk between 3-5 miles, throughout each day.
My arthritis is limited to my knees, and like you, I can't run because of it. So for cardio I walk, cycle and "run" on the elliptical.
What I don't see in your exercise is any strength work. As a fellow 50-something, I strongly recommend you take it up lifting. It will really help you tighten up - I lost an inch around my waist without dropping a pound - and it will make you feel so much better. It should help you burn off that remaining bit as well.
Best of luck!
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It definitely takes time for it to sink into your brain. My kitchen is too small for what i have in it and the end of the table is too close to a chest freezer. The other day i went to squeeze through like i have a million times and realized that i didn't have to turn sideways. I just barely fit through but the realization had me so excited i had to call my family in to witness it and then i walked back and forth several times. I guess that was my first NSV. I am just starting to see changes that have probably been there for a while now.
Maybe you could stay at the weight you're at for a while and wait for your head to catch up. Then you can decide if or how much more you want to change.0 -
Another +50 year old here. I also recommend some form of resistance training. Particularly for anyone suffering from arthritis. It strengthens the muscles, this takes some of the stress off the joints. Also, it helps slow the process of losing muscle as we age.As a fellow 50-something, I strongly recommend you take it up lifting. It will really help you tighten up - I lost an inch around my waist without dropping a pound - and it will make you feel so much better. It should help you burn off that remaining bit as well.
Like CarrieCans said, it can take a while for the mental aspect to catch up with the physical changes. I think the whole process of long term weight loss can beat us down mentally. It makes us overly self critical in the effort to get to some magic number on a scale. The most important thing is being healthy and feeling good about yourself.dorothy2512 wrote: »Some days, I do look at myself and know I have come a long way, but others, like today, I just feel fatter.
Be confident with what you've accomplished.
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Awesome job. I had the same problem. I switched to what I thought was maintenance and continued doing the activities I love and lost the last few lbs without even trying.0
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Another +50 year old here. I also recommend some form of resistance training. Particularly for anyone suffering from arthritis. It strengthens the muscles, this takes some of the stress off the joints. Also, it helps slow the process of losing muscle as we age.As a fellow 50-something, I strongly recommend you take it up lifting. It will really help you tighten up - I lost an inch around my waist without dropping a pound - and it will make you feel so much better. It should help you burn off that remaining bit as well.
Like CarrieCans said, it can take a while for the mental aspect to catch up with the physical changes. I think the whole process of long term weight loss can beat us down mentally. It makes us overly self critical in the effort to get to some magic number on a scale. The most important thing is being healthy and feeling good about yourself.dorothy2512 wrote: »Some days, I do look at myself and know I have come a long way, but others, like today, I just feel fatter.
Be confident with what you've accomplished.
51 yo female here, a few days from 52. I want to add my vote to strength training. It'll help with your arthritis, as you'll build up muscles around the joints. You'll also regain your bikini body. Even if you'd never wear a bikini (as I wouldn't), it's nice to see a young looking body in the mirror when you're changing.
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You're not a failure, the only true failures in life are never trying, give yourself some credit. You've earned it.
Also i second the recommendation of strength training and believe that it may hold the key to the success and goals you are talking about.
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dorothy2512 wrote: »- But I think my body has got used to the walking, and perhaps I need to try something different, as you say.
Your body "gets used to" regular exercise in the sense that it becomes normal and no longer produces musculoskeletal adaptations. That is, if you walk 3-5 miles most days, you get to the point where walking that far doesn't produce new fitness adapations.
However, you still burn the same number of calories. There's not a lot of variation in walking efficiency between people (unlike running, where technique makes some difference, and swimming, where technique can be very important).
It can be good to try new activities if you get bored, or if you want to develop different muscles, but if it's just about calorie burn, there's no reason to change just for change's sake.0 -
it is a bad habit to self hate….nothing is ever good enough. why don't you maintain for a while..then blast off the last 11 when you are ready. You must know that you look great right now..that the last 11 is vanity weight..and it is just fine that you want to lose it. but that 11 pounds does not define you. The fact you've lose all that weight shows you are a dedicated hard worker..you should be nothing but PROUD.1
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Maybe time to modify your goal? Instead of weight lost, maybe try increasing minutes of exercise, increasing repetitions, increasing weight lifted, increasing speed or distance. It's hard to feel fat when you hit personal records. Again, while losing weight is an admirable goal, I think with an 80 pound weight loss you succeeded and proved you can. The rest may take longer. My mother at 56 lost 10 pounds in the past year by walking a bit more (taking stairs, parking car a little farther) and cutting out her afternoon bowl of tortilla chips. That's a measly 0.3 pounds a week that added up to 10 pounds. If she can do it, you can too!0
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72 here. Arthritis in back, legs, feet, neck-you name it. I lift using machine to ease the "inertia" problem. Start at very low weight and gradually build up. After several months am at a point I couldn't imagine when I started. Go for it.0
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You need to shop for one spectacular outfit that you put on, look in the mirror and think "yeah....now I'm going to strut"
80lbs and 134 at 5'5 is amazing ...your mind needs to catch up
Some weight training, under guidance and with medical approval, would make you feel great too0 -
What a great accomplishment! Pat yourself on the back.
With regards to exercise, because your main form to date has been walking, could I recommend you take to the water? Doing a few months of aquafit (I love it), or swimming (I've just learnt), will be gentle on your joints and help you prepare your muscles for a land based lifting programme.
Water activity has built in resistance for your muscles, and aquafit is often recommended for people with arthritis and other joint/ muscle problems.
Check with your doctor first of course.
I am 61 and lost my weight in my mid 50's and I do wear a bikini.
Cheers, h.0 -
I stopped just short of my goal too, and occasionally feel a little bit of annoyance with myself for doing so.
What I've found that worked for me was to reward myself for my great loss (70lbs) by joining a gym and expanding my workouts. I only walked too for exercise while I was losing, and I can't run yet either because of a knee issue which led to surgery (it doesn't feel right yet so I'm waiting), so I've focused more on the stationary bike, but also introduced the rowing machine and now elliptical for my cardio. I don't just get on and putz around - I'm focused on gradually increasing the resistance level, introducing bursts of higher resistance (started at 30s every 5 mins, now at 90s) and aiming for longer distances. There is some great cardio equipment out there which helps to vary things and also use different muscles.
I've also started resistance training. Maybe I'll progress to free weights, but I'm still working through the machines at my gym and enjoying that right now. Again, I always have a plan - I focus on gradually increasing the weights, progressively increasing the reps per set (start at 6 reps) and then adding on another set (when I get to 15 reps I add a set) until I increase the weight and start over again. I started with 5 machines, and I'm now expanding that number slowly. I track it all in MFP so I can see the data which shows me I'm getting stronger, even if I don't feel different, or look different to myself.
So, in short, I've replaced my focus on a scale number, with a whole bunch of different numbers which chart my progress. Oh, and I still feel just as big as I did before I lost 70 lbs, even though I went from size 16/18 to size 2. It's just mind-games and I don't waste time thinking about it.0 -
The replies include so much GREAT feedback: Praise, Strength Training, Focusing on other goals now, Honest examination of before and after those 80lbs. All good stuff.
I only have one thing to add: Fat is NOT a feeling. Feelings are states of emotion. This was a powerful message for me the first time I heard it. Fat is not a state of emotion.
When I used to say, "I feel fat." I realize now that what I really meant was, "I feel sad/ashamed because I perceive my physical appearance as undesirable." Then I got to ask myself the hundred dollar question..."Is it reasonable for me to feel sad and/or ashamed of my physical self? Is it helpful for me to 'hate on' myself it this way?"
I would argue that is isn't helpful. Especially after all that the glorious machine that is your body has done to return to health.
Happy New Year!0 -
Your body has gotten fitter so walking is no longer as effective. However, you can change that by either walking faster or, even better, walking steeper hills. Try using a 5 incline on the treadmill...if you're already doing that increase it even more. It will build more muscle in your lower body and be a more intense workout without adding any impact.
But you are not a failure. You are at a healthy weight. If you want to lose more for aesthetic reasons, that's great. But where you are now is already a huge accomplishment.0 -
All other issues beside, please be patient with yourself. You have done fantastically well, first of all. And if you can maintain that, it would be incredible.
Second, when you're close to the end it just takes a long time to get that last bit off. I know I felt like I'd never get there. The last 5 pounds took the same amount of time as the first 35. It's old fat you've carried a long time. It wants to stay in your life!l
Stick with the deficit for a while if you're comfortable there and just keep plugging. Worst that happens is you maintain. Best that happens is that it slowly drips off.
In any case, buy some new clothes and celebrate how fantastic you've done!0 -
Liftng4Lis wrote: »You lost 80 pounds. Go look at a starting photo!
This worked for me. I thought the same thing and it is still really hard for me not to see the 90lbs heavier version of myself. I think we all go through that. When I look at side by side pictures I think wow what a change you made.
Give yourself a break! You lost 80lbs and that is wonderful!
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Wow x thanks for all the positive replies and yes, I know I have come a long way, and I do feel good about what I've lost, I think I will start with another form of exercise and try and mix things up a little and forget about the number on the scales for a while,
Thanks again0 -
Change types of exercise; make sure calorie logging is as accurate as possible.
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It takes a while for your head to realise that you're now slim, it took me over a year to finally accept that indeed I am ....I still get 'fat' days, I think every woman does, but its only in our heads I guess LOL0
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