Why explain your diet to me?
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micheledavison39 wrote: »A woman I haven't seen in a couple of months came up to me recently and was all "You look amazing, how much did you lose? How did you do it?" So I was telling her about MFP and she says, "Counting calories is too much work, I'll just do Atkins again, it always works" and walks away. My jaw must have about hit the floor, "it always works"? as in, she has had to do it more than once and it didn't stick. She had lost more than 50 lbs in 2013 and put most of it back on in 2014.
My grandmother kept going back to atkins, she would eat nothing but steak, cottage cheese and pork rinds. I hated seeing her do it to herself but it was better than some of her stranger diets like only eating bananas and fig newtons for 3 months. She has finally stopped dieting, but only because she's on dialysis.
I tried to get her to give MFP a try a few times when she's brought it up over the past few years but she says it seems complicated. I offered to cook for her and log the food to show her how it works. 0 -
"Weighing your food? That sounds obsessive, I could never do that."
I hate that! haha No it keeps me from eating too much which is very easy to do!
I also hate when people are like "oh shes on some crazy diet so she cant eat those donuts" no.....i can eat them just fine, but i would rather use my calories that i have on something that will actually fill me up lol0 -
It's funny when they compliment on how great I'm looking, ask what I'm doing so they can do it too. Although I don't tell them about mfp, I do tell them I'm eating less of everything I've always eaten. Then they get this disappointed look like, " Oh, that won't work". I feel like grabbing them from their collar and shaking some sense into them and say, "Hello? You just said I look great at how much weight I've lost... it'll work for you too!!" Smh... I guess they're expecting I'll share some sort of magic diet fad or something. :ohwell:0
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I am in corporate training, and what you describe is human nature and how people learn the best. People don't like to be told what to do, but learn best by self discovery through open dialogue- which is what they are most likely doing. Every person believes they are unique (and they are), and is looking for ideas that may work for them.
For me, I get inspired by others and I want to talk to someone who was successful. When I have asked in the past what people have done, its a very generic answer. I need specifics and many people can't provide that. So after many years of asking, I sometimes just don't ask (or I already know what "program" was followed through conversations with others).
So when I talk about my plans, it is partially in hope that the successful person can offer advice/resources for me to consider (and specifically how that resource was helpful for you) AND/OR ask how they can offer their support in helping me achieve my goal (ie: please call me on the carpet if you see me grab a pop). I want to hear about how someone overcame the daily challenges I face and finally found a way of doing it with success. I want to find new ideas that may work for my lifestyle. I want someone to not tell me what to do, but to ask me the right questions to get me to think of a solution that works for me. But at the same time, I don't know what I don't know.
Also, for me talking it out, this helps me to commit/take action. I like to talk about problems and solutions, which really does motivate me. When I talk, I take action. When I stop talking, its a sign action has stopped.
So, when people talk to me about their weight loss plans- even if I agree with the method or not. I offer them support/words of encouragement, ask them to talk about it, I share resources with them & how it helped me (where appropriate), I ask how I can help them and then I suggest we talk over strategies to overcome obstacles. That way, they walk away from the conversation inspired and supported.0 -
AmigaMaria001 wrote: »I lost 60lbs last year and for some reason everyone now seems to want to tell me about THEIR diet! They don't usually ask how I lost the weight, they just start in by saying things like, "I've decided to give up sugar, or carbs or...." Things like, I am eating my food on a smaller plate from now on or I have quit snacking in the evenings... Well okay then!
I just have no idea how to respond to these people!
I usually say, "Oh really? Well good for you - or How is that working for you?"
Have any of you have this happen after significant weight loss?
Believe me when I say, I do not judge anyone for being overweight! Heck - I was overweight most of my life so I have no room to judge - I am just thankful that I finally came to my senses AND found MFP. When a few people have asked me how I did it, I always point them to MFP but I never offer unless asked. That would just be rude.
Maybe they want you to approve of their choice. It might be a statement and question together. I have people do the same and I usually just tell them "good job". Only because half of them never stick to anything. The guys who stick to something are the ones I usually will interact with about diets.0 -
I told my mom about MFP once and how the support of people, logging foods and exercises really works. This was near the beginning of my weight loss journey...she got real snotty with me and says "Yeah and how is that working for you?" Her version of dieting is eating less than 500 calories (400 being from coffee creamer) and walking 5-10 miles a day....Umm fast forward....50 pounds lost...Seems to be going pretty well actually mom!0
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sheepotato wrote: »I don't know why people are like that, I think sometimes people ask just so they can talk about themselves.
Also I'll never understand why people will believe any ridiculous plan or pill will work but when you show them/tell them about MFP and they say 'Oh that will never work.' SMH.
BINGO is not just the name of a dog...nailed it. "You look great; now let's talk about me"
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It's so hard for people to be positive about your weight loss. They are jealous or insecure. The ones who say they lost 50 pounds doing thus and such and gained it all back sometimes say stupid stuff like, "Well, enjoy it now. It will all come back." Nothing you can say. And by the way - GOOD FOR YOU!
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When I tell people (when asked) how I did it, I often get surprised responses like "you didn't have cut out bread, starches, carbs, etc?" Many just want to hear some secret that will let me lose their extra weight without really having to do anything.
I am proud of the few I did introduce to MFP though. I hope they're as successful with it as I was.0 -
People don't tend to ask 'how' we lose the weight because they know that it takes a lot of hard work and commitment over time ... something many are not willing to partake.
The whole giving up sugar, carbs, *insert fad of the month* is solely to appease their own guilt for a lack of action on their part.
I just smile politely and say 'cool' because I know like many of the NYR folks, whatever dieting trend they are doing at the moment won't last.
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I also, just say "cool"0
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I hate when they say "I wish I had your willpower." Like I starve myself 24/7. It's called discipline & moderation!
I also hate it when they ask what you do, and as soon as you start, they stop you & say "Well, that'll never work. I hate wheat bread" or something like that.
You DON'T want to know what I do, so don't ask. Sorry if it makes you uncomfortable.0 -
I suppose all these are true to some extent. Mostly, I would like to be able to share MFP with people because it has worked for me when nothing else did. But I just refuse to share unless I am asked. I know people think it's too much work to weigh, measure and log food, but it's a whole lot easier and cheaper than giving up foods I love or spending money on fad diets that just simply do not work. Yes, you might lose weight for awhile, but fad diets are not sustainable and I'd rather not lose if it's not going to be for a lifetime.
And to those of you who said, "They just want to know the easy secret to losing without any work!" I was one of those people too - always looking for the easy way out. The fact of the matter is... there is no easier, cheaper, or simpler solution than MFP.
Anything worth having is worth doing the right.
Can you tell that I am a huge fan of MFP and thankful everyday for my friend who introduced it to me! Thanks Vic0 -
AmigaMaria001 wrote: »Can you tell that I am a huge fan of MFP and thankful everyday for my friend who introduced it to me! Thanks Vic
I'm a big fan of it too, I wish anytime someone has asked me they really meant it and wanted to know. I wish they would give it a try and stop with all the expensive gimmicks and short term fixes but so few people do. I'm glad some people have had better luck with getting others to give it a try. It's been disheartening lately to see so many posts from new people that have found their way here but are still looking for something to buy or some sort of shortcut. I hope they stick around and find success.
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sheepotato wrote: »AmigaMaria001 wrote: »Can you tell that I am a huge fan of MFP and thankful everyday for my friend who introduced it to me! Thanks Vic
I'm a big fan of it too, I wish anytime someone has asked me they really meant it and wanted to know. I wish they would give it a try and stop with all the expensive gimmicks and short term fixes but so few people do. I'm glad some people have had better luck with getting others to give it a try. It's been disheartening lately to see so many posts from new people that have found their way here but are still looking for something to buy or some sort of shortcut. I hope they stick around and find success.
I wish people would try MFP for at least a month before making excuses or looking for loopholes to weight loss! People make excuses before they even try it!
people looking to lose weight - just ask yourself this truthfully before you jump into that fad diet! "IS IT WISE FOR ME TO DO?" Can I sustain this for a week or a month much less a lifetime?
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I'm sure its because they respect your hard work and want your opinion more than anything0
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FitnessTrainer69 hit it right on- They see how successful you were with your weight loss, so they come up with their own "grand idea" of how they're going to lose their weight, and they want your approval and pat on the back. They want to hear that "this will work" from someone they know who was successful in losing the weight.0
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I have a lot more fun talking about my fitness gains. A great co-worker commented that perhaps this is why I look so healthy during my weight loss. We traded weight lifting tips.
Perhaps "fitness" is a safer small-talk subject.
On the other hand, my daughter works with a "frienemy" who can't bear to let a comment of my daughter's go by without one-upping her somehow. If my daughter is making dietary changes, the co-worker dismisses her efforts and claims she has always lost weight simply by getting more active. And then the woman signs up a personal trainer the next day. This woman drives my daughter insane. I keep telling my daughter, "Stop feeding her information!"0 -
"Weighing your food? That sounds obsessive, I could never do that."
It's only as obsessive as you make it, really. It can really be little different than glancing at your speedometer to make sure you're not going too slow or too fast.
If you're going to be cool about allowing some wiggle room, it's really not any more of an inconvenience than using the WAG system of determining portion size is. If you don't reach an exact portion according to the manufacturer, then at least you can use the scale's measurement to log what you did eat.
If, however, you're to the point of adding or removing Cheerios to the bowl one at a time until you get EXACTLY one portion size, then yes, you could say you're nearing the obsession level.
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Agree with most already said.
People want a quick fix. I lost 60lb too in 7 months going from 266 to 210 (roughly). My SO sister was and still is heavily overweight. She would compliment me every time she saw me and asked me how I managed it. Told her I ate everything I did before, drank beer etc but just fit it into a 2000 a day calorie limit. She couldn't handle the idea of counting calories as if it was the most difficult thing possible.
I've found I'm quite blunt these days or just respond with 'Just count calories anyone can do it'.
My SO moans at me sometimes but it's ground me down to the extent I don't really care lol.0 -
OMgosh... this was me for the past year!
"If, however, you're to the point of adding or removing Cheerios to the bowl one at a time until you get EXACTLY one portion size, then yes, you could say you're nearing the obsession level."
Now that I am on maintenance, I do allow a little wiggle room, but I have been seriously pedantic about logging until about a month ago.0 -
AmigaMaria001 wrote: »I lost 60lbs last year and for some reason everyone now seems to want to tell me about THEIR diet! They don't usually ask how I lost the weight, they just start in by saying things like, "I've decided to give up sugar, or carbs or...." Things like, I am eating my food on a smaller plate from now on or I have quit snacking in the evenings... Well okay then!
I just have no idea how to respond to these people!
I usually say, "Oh really? Well good for you - or How is that working for you?"
Have any of you have this happen after significant weight loss?
Believe me when I say, I do not judge anyone for being overweight! Heck - I was overweight most of my life so I have no room to judge - I am just thankful that I finally came to my senses AND found MFP. When a few people have asked me how I did it, I always point them to MFP but I never offer unless asked. That would just be rude.
I've walked into the kitchen at my office and someone is getting something from the vending machine ... turn to me and say "I'm allowed Brad today is my cheat day".... I said What? I didn't say anything or do I care what you're doing.
Don't let them get to you I still get comments twice a week about what I eat or if they are allowed to eat XYZ. I actually took this week off to avoid all the questions from everyone starting their diets for the 10th time.0 -
middlehaitch wrote: »Maybe they are using it ( their weight loss method) as an opening gambit for a conversation on weight loss. A lot of people think it rude and a bit blunt to ask the 'how did you do it' question outright.
I was picking a friend up to go shopping and her greeting was ' I am cutting out all pasta and white bread'. Strange, so I asked why, and she said she thought if I could lose the weight so could she.
We ended up skipping the shopping and having a really good heart to heart on weight loss and exercise; that is what she wanted but didn't know how to ask without sounding rude.
Oddly enough I have never had the MFP glaze over look from people that is so often reported here; quite the opposite in fact, people are usually relieved and interested when I explain how simple it is, and that you don't have to give up the foods you love, eat at strange times or exercise like crazy.
Cheers, h.
You're a fabulous person.
And this, a thousand times.
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wnlbutterfly wrote: »I would say perhaps because they see your success and are mentioning what they have in mind to lose weight and expect feedback.
This +1. I cant see why you would be baffled at all. Its an achievement, its what you have knowledge of and success at. Its a compliment.0 -
Yes! Or they give me advice on what to do. Umm I've lost 54 lbs so I think I got this. But mostly they're ladies from church so I definitely can't be rude lol.0
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I think the next person who asks me face to face how I lost weight I will make up some crazy story and make it sound like a secret. Maybe I'll even say you have to pay to be a part of it.0
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I am baffled because they want to tell me how they are dieting! Why is that a compliment? They didn't ask for my advice or tell me give me a thumbs up for losing - They just come up and start explaining their diet to me! That is what baffles me and I am never sure how to respond!This +1. I cant see why you would be baffled at all. Its an achievement, its what you have knowledge of and success at. Its a compliment.
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YES!! I'm thinking I should make up some ridiculous fad. I can get rich AND get people to do ridiculous things. lol. Seriously though, they'd rather hear about something they can waste their $ on then the simple truth.Lasmartchika wrote: »It's funny when they compliment on how great I'm looking, ask what I'm doing so they can do it too. Although I don't tell them about mfp, I do tell them I'm eating less of everything I've always eaten. Then they get this disappointed look like, " Oh, that won't work". I feel like grabbing them from their collar and shaking some sense into them and say, "Hello? You just said I look great at how much weight I've lost... it'll work for you too!!" Smh... I guess they're expecting I'll share some sort of magic diet fad or something. :ohwell:
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auntchellebelle wrote: »People want a pat on the back for taking the first step. I have noticed that. I am still pretty overweight and I prefer not to discuss what I am doing because everyone has different opinions on what they think will work.
^^This^^0
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