Confused, and disappointed in myself.
Adpalangi
Posts: 349 Member
Around the last three months I was not able to log into Venus, or MFP, and right away I stopped with my new healthy eating habits.It's been terrible, my eating habits these last three months, so much baked junk food, high in carbs and sugar, lots everyday, with no real meals. I can say, Nov. I started a new job, moved, (even more stressful with the move, mom and I paid rent to my sister to live on there bottom floor, just out of no where she told us we had to leave, (I was supposed to live there for as long as I need, and my mom for the rest of her life.) that was bad, but seeing my mom, who sold her condo in fl,used very much of her money to move here to yucky old Md. Because my sister has been wanting that forever). Seeing the anger, hurt, and confused mom was difficult) And finally, also I traveled to the keys for my sons wedding. Once again today was supposed to be "the day". I didn't do well at all today on carbs/sweets, but I'm going to log it in anyway, maybe I need to see the damage in front of me. Although I can just look at my thighs, belly, and waist to see it. You'd think that would be enough. My thighs are just about touching again, that there should be enough too. It's like being addicted, I just tell myself, one more day and tomorrow I'll start. But too top it off I inhale the calories cause I'll be starting tomorrow and I better get some of those treats before I start. Is it possible any way that by having that type of food for so long, that my body just craves it, like an addiction. Is there some sort of detox I should do? It took over six months to take off, but after a short bit came back on, so fast . I'm afraid if I don't get myself motivated and committed I will put it all back on, don't think my depression would take that so well. And besides I don't want to live my life unhealthy and over weight. I hope the logging will give me a huge kick start. Thanks for letting me vent. Any suggestions are comments or replies are appreciated.
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No to the detox. Start logging again and making healthy choices. Sounds like you've had a lot going on the past few months. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Dust yourself off, start logging and you'll do fine.0
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I'm confused ... if you couldn't log onto MFP for three months, how did you post in both November and December?0
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Pick yourself up and start again. Do not give up!!
- Swap out chocolate for berries, rasberries, blackberries, strawberries.
- Add in lean meats and pile your plate with vegies and/or salad .
- Replace sugary drinks with plain ole water
- stay away from diet and low fat foods.
The above things worked for me. And once again, don't give up! There is a wealth of help and experience here.
You got this girl!!0 -
brianpperkins wrote: »I'm confused ... if you couldn't log onto MFP for three months, how did you post in both November and December?
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brianpperkins wrote: »I'm confused ... if you couldn't log onto MFP for three months, how did you post in both November and December?
BAM!0 -
brianpperkins wrote: »I'm confused ... if you couldn't log onto MFP for three months, how did you post in both November and December?
EXACTLY0 -
Eat your planned meals and bear with the hunger for a while. Journal about what is bothering you, and let yourself cry over any outstanding issues (or horomones). You know how to make this work. Tolerate the discomfort, and your body will adjust within a few days to the lower calorie level. Good luck
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You're not "addicted" to junk, carbs/sweets etc. You just lack will power and motivation like you mentioned. I thought i was addicted to cheese burgers and crisps and cola, because i used to eat it none stop every single day for like 6 months, but then i looked in the mirror and saw the pounds piling on, you just have to stay focused! And if you ever feel like giving up again, dont do it! Think of the awesome body you will acheive at the end of all the hard work and sweat0
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I am slightly confused by your use of parenthesis. You seem to throw in closing )'s with no begining.
Anyway- no to the detox. As much as I wish there was a magical answer, there isn't. You just have to put in the work yourself.0 -
Food addiction is real... but it's also a choice.
3+ years ago I *chose* to smoke my last cigarette after a 27 year addiction.
Today, you can *choose* to hammer your own addiction into submission.
You are the only one who can control it, and you have 100% of the power and control.
Choose wisely.0 -
I’m new to MFP so I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to just chime in here but if I may….
That whole mentality of “one more day and tomorrow I'll start” or “I’m starting my diet on Monday” is just denial. Tomorrow is not magic and neither is Monday. You’ll feel the same feelings you do today so why not start TODAY? (like right NOW). It won’t be any easier tomorrow, or Monday or after the birthday party, or after the Holidays or after the wedding. There will ALWAYS be occasions to eat. The key is to learn to incorporate better eating habits into those occasions and be mindful of what we eat. Tomorrow is always a day away but today is here and now.
I agree that logging everything (even when we feel we went way overboard) is critical to success. Good luck to you all
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Don't be a victim. Our whole culture loves victimhood and tends to wallow in it. Everything is someone or something else's fault. Take responsibility for your choices. If you're shoving too much into your mouth, it's because you choose to. If you don't want to do it any more, then don't. Don't lie to yourself as if it isn't a choice.0
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Some of the above comments are harsh, but I do have to agree for the most part. I am obese. There is no way to sugar coat it, that's my state of being right now. Until I had a good and honest look at myself and realized that I was short of breath walking up a flight of steps, lagging to get up in the morning, and losing my energy to play with my one year old son in the evenings, there was no motivation to change. I'm not saying that any of that is you, but you don't have to be in the state that you are in if you don't want to be. I do agree with the others here who say that over eating is not likely as much an addiction as you think but its more or less a lack of motivation and probably stems from depression as well. You have to find your motivation to get back moving. Don't compare yourself to anyone but who you know that you can be. I fell on my diet and exercise and ate junk over the week of new years (which killed me because I did so well over Christmas and Thanksgiving) and stopped exercising after hurting my knee. I took a picture of myself and compared it to my beginning of December picture and, while I was lighter, I was not near as healthy looking. Why is it that you want to eat better and get fit? To look better? Feel better? Or be healthy for you and your loved ones? Find your motivation and stick to it. Go through your fridge, take out and throw away ALL of the junk and replace it with something else, your sweets with fruit, your breads with vegetables and your fatty meats with lean ones and get going. Just because you fell behind doesn't mean that you have to stay there. You will find that when you begin to trim down, it'll do wonders to your depression and mood as well. I know because I've suffered for years and am finally finding what it's like to run around and laugh with my kids rather than just wanting to curl up and sleep all the time. I hope this helps.0
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It's hard to escape the spiral of out-of-control eating. I agree whole heartedly with the PP about starting right now, this minute, to end it. Nothing you did last month, last week or this morning has any bearing on the decisions you make in the future, starting now.
There's no need to detox yourself first. I always feel like drinking a bunch of water flushes away my past eating crimes. There's probably no factual basis for that, but it gives me a mental reset.
Motivation only carries you so far, really it only gets you started. It's relatively easy to do things when motivated...like it's easy to do a chore when you're in the mood. But you do your laundry whether you're in the mood or not because you need clean clothes. So, you'll eat the way you're supposed to whether you're in the mood or not because you need to be healthy.
But, you know all this because you have been a successful weight loser in the past. You've had your rant and whine (and justifiably so) but now you have to JUST DO IT.0 -
brianpperkins wrote: »I'm confused ... if you couldn't log onto MFP for three months, how did you post in both November and December?
EXACTLY
Does is really matter, though? She was previously successful at weight loss, has just gone through a few major life changes that by her own words were very stressful and she's feeling down and depressed. I've also noticed that sometimes posters get dismissed if their posts are all jumbled together with difficult punctuation.
Anyway, OP, I'm sorry for all of your stress. New job, moving, children getting married, etc. is very stressful. Just go back to doing what worked for you. You can recover and rise above this tough time.0 -
Okay.
1: I've only ever seen one person in my life whose thighs didn't touch and it looked weird. Your thighs are supposed to touch. It's cool.
2: We all have things thrown at us in life that make it difficult for us to keep to our routine. That's okay too. I had a lot of stuff happen last year that completely knocked me off track. I wish I hadn't let those things get in my way, but I did. Time to forgive myself and move forward.
It takes an extra surge of motivation to get started. Once you're in the routine it'll get easier but I'm struggling with that "first step" part, too. You'll get there.0 -
Okay.
1: I've only ever seen one person in my life whose thighs didn't touch and it looked weird. Your thighs are supposed to touch. It's cool.
2: We all have things thrown at us in life that make it difficult for us to keep to our routine. That's okay too. I had a lot of stuff happen last year that completely knocked me off track. I wish I hadn't let those things get in my way, but I did. Time to forgive myself and move forward.
It takes an extra surge of motivation to get started. Once you're in the routine it'll get easier but I'm struggling with that "first step" part, too. You'll get there.
So true. I can't think of a time in my life where my thighs didn't touch and I've never been technically "overweight". I do, however, carry a lot of weight in that area and it's possible that the OP is one of the apple shaped people with normally skinny legs.
OP, first of all, you need to just take a deep breath and forgive yourself. We all have bad times in our lives and we all slip up. Stop being sad and disappointed in yourself and instead be determined to make the changes you need to make. You know what you need to do so stop procrastinating and making excuses.
Second, throw out the junk. If it's not in the house you can't eat it. Replace it with healthier, lower calorie food that fits your diet and lifestyle.
Third, definitely log the stuff you ate. Sometimes we need to really see the numbers and understand the impact our mistakes can have.
Fourth, you are not "addicted" to junk food you're just allowing it to control you. It can only do that if you let it. The only "detox" you might need to do is to remove all of the junk out of your diet for awhile. For me, cutting out sugar almost entirely helps. The more I eat, the more my brain tells me it wants. After a few days of none, I don't "need" it anymore. My snacks are things like string cheese, nuts and munchy veggies.
You can do this, you just have to want it more than you want the junk food that's controlling your life and happiness.0 -
pdwhitlock wrote: »Some of the above comments are harsh, but I do have to agree for the most part. I am obese. There is no way to sugar coat it, that's my state of being right now. Until I had a good and honest look at myself and realized that I was short of breath walking up a flight of steps, lagging to get up in the morning, and losing my energy to play with my one year old son in the evenings, there was no motivation to change. I'm not saying that any of that is you, but you don't have to be in the state that you are in if you don't want to be. I do agree with the others here who say that over eating is not likely as much an addiction as you think but its more or less a lack of motivation and probably stems from depression as well. You have to find your motivation to get back moving. Don't compare yourself to anyone but who you know that you can be. I fell on my diet and exercise and ate junk over the week of new years (which killed me because I did so well over Christmas and Thanksgiving) and stopped exercising after hurting my knee. I took a picture of myself and compared it to my beginning of December picture and, while I was lighter, I was not near as healthy looking. Why is it that you want to eat better and get fit? To look better? Feel better? Or be healthy for you and your loved ones? Find your motivation and stick to it. Go through your fridge, take out and throw away ALL of the junk and replace it with something else, your sweets with fruit, your breads with vegetables and your fatty meats with lean ones and get going. Just because you fell behind doesn't mean that you have to stay there. You will find that when you begin to trim down, it'll do wonders to your depression and mood as well. I know because I've suffered for years and am finally finding what it's like to run around and laugh with my kids rather than just wanting to curl up and sleep all the time. I hope this helps.
Thank you so much for your reply, it was gentle and to the point. My depression has been around for a very long time, however 2014 I made some good improvements in myself. And I have to agree with you, in this last oh somewhere like 8 months, I have worked really hard with my therapist and physiatrist and have had a good year of improvements. No longer isolate. Gave up smoking, soda, coffee, and began to eat as I should of been these last years. You are absolutely right, the weight loss has done wonders to help me to feel good about myself, which also helped with the depression. It seems like I can really relate to you, I'll post a note once I have got totally back on track. It's great to play along with the kids and laugh a lot, nothing better than a child's laugh! I'm so happy for you! Pdwhitlock, hope 2015 is even better for you.
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Okay.
1: I've only ever seen one person in my life whose thighs didn't touch and it looked weird. Your thighs are supposed to touch. It's cool.
2: We all have things thrown at us in life that make it difficult for us to keep to our routine. That's okay too. I had a lot of stuff happen last year that completely knocked me off track. I wish I hadn't let those things get in my way, but I did. Time to forgive myself and move forward.
It takes an extra surge of motivation to get started. Once you're in the routine it'll get easier but I'm struggling with that "first step" part, too. You'll get there.
So true. I can't think of a time in my life where my thighs didn't touch and I've never been technically "overweight". I do, however, carry a lot of weight in that area and it's possible that the OP is one of the apple shaped people with normally skinny legs.
OP, first of all, you need to just take a deep breath and forgive yourself. We all have bad times in our lives and we all slip up. Stop being sad and disappointed in yourself and instead be determined to make the changes you need to make. You know what you need to do so stop procrastinating and making excuses.
Second, throw out the junk. If it's not in the house you can't eat it. Replace it with healthier, lower calorie food that fits your diet and lifestyle.
Third, definitely log the stuff you ate. Sometimes we need to really see the numbers and understand the impact our mistakes can have.
Fourth, you are not "addicted" to junk food you're just allowing it to control you. It can only do that if you let it. The only "detox" you might need to do is to remove all of the junk out of your diet for awhile. For me, cutting out sugar almost entirely helps. The more I eat, the more my brain tells me it wants. After a few days of none, I don't "need" it anymore. My snacks are things like string cheese, nuts and munchy veggies.
You can do this, you just have to want it more than you want the junk food that's controlling your life and happiness.Okay.
1: I've only ever seen one person in my life whose thighs didn't touch and it looked weird. Your thighs are supposed to touch. It's cool.
2: We all have things thrown at us in life that make it difficult for us to keep to our routine. That's okay too. I had a lot of stuff happen last year that completely knocked me off track. I wish I hadn't let those things get in my way, but I did. Time to forgive myself and move forward.
It takes an extra surge of motivation to get started. Once you're in the routine it'll get easier but I'm struggling with that "first step" part, too. You'll get there.brianpperkins wrote: »I'm confused ... if you couldn't log onto MFP for three months, how did you post in both November and December?
EXACTLY
Does is really matter, though? She was previously successful at weight loss, has just gone through a few major life changes that by her own words were very stressful and she's feeling down and depressed. I've also noticed that sometimes posters get dismissed if their posts are all jumbled together with difficult punctuation.
Anyway, OP, I'm sorry for all of your stress. New job, moving, children getting married, etc. is very stressful. Just go back to doing what worked for you. You can recover and rise above this tough time.lthames0810 wrote: »It's hard to escape the spiral of out-of-control eating. I agree whole heartedly with the PP about starting right now, this minute, to end it. Nothing you did last month, last week or this morning has any bearing on the decisions you make in the future, starting now.
There's no need to detox yourself first. I always feel like drinking a bunch of water flushes away my past eating crimes. There's probably no factual basis for that, but it gives me a mental reset.
Motivation only carries you so far, really it only gets you started. It's relatively easy to do things when motivated...like it's easy to do a chore when you're in the mood. But you do your laundry whether you're in the mood or not because you need clean clothes. So, you'll eat the way you're supposed to whether you're in the mood or not because you need to be healthy.
But, you know all this because you have been a successful weight loser in the past. You've had your rant and whine (and justifiably so) but now you have to JUST DO IT.pdwhitlock wrote: »Some of the above comments are harsh, but I do have to agree for the most part. I am obese. There is no way to sugar coat it, that's my state of being right now. Until I had a good and honest look at myself and realized that I was short of breath walking up a flight of steps, lagging to get up in the morning, and losing my energy to play with my one year old son in the evenings, there was no motivation to change. I'm not saying that any of that is you, but you don't have to be in the state that you are in if you don't want to be. I do agree with the others here who say that over eating is not likely as much an addiction as you think but its more or less a lack of motivation and probably stems from depression as well. You have to find your motivation to get back moving. Don't compare yourself to anyone but who you know that you can be. I fell on my diet and exercise and ate junk over the week of new years (which killed me because I did so well over Christmas and Thanksgiving) and stopped exercising after hurting my knee. I took a picture of myself and compared it to my beginning of December picture and, while I was lighter, I was not near as healthy looking. Why is it that you want to eat better and get fit? To look better? Feel better? Or be healthy for you and your loved ones? Find your motivation and stick to it. Go through your fridge, take out and throw away ALL of the junk and replace it with something else, your sweets with fruit, your breads with vegetables and your fatty meats with lean ones and get going. Just because you fell behind doesn't mean that you have to stay there. You will find that when you begin to trim down, it'll do wonders to your depression and mood as well. I know because I've suffered for years and am finally finding what it's like to run around and laugh with my kids rather than just wanting to curl up and sleep all the time. I hope this helps.I’m new to MFP so I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to just chime in here but if I may….
That whole mentality of “one more day and tomorrow I'll start” or “I’m starting my diet on Monday” is just denial. Tomorrow is not magic and neither is Monday. You’ll feel the same feelings you do today so why not start TODAY? (like right NOW). It won’t be any easier tomorrow, or Monday or after the birthday party, or after the Holidays or after the wedding. There will ALWAYS be occasions to eat. The key is to learn to incorporate better eating habits into those occasions and be mindful of what we eat. Tomorrow is always a day away but today is here and now.
I agree that logging everything (even when we feel we went way overboard) is critical to success. Good luck to you allpdwhitlock wrote: »Some of the above comments are harsh, but I do have to agree for the most part. I am obese. There is no way to sugar coat it, that's my state of being right now. Until I had a good and honest look at myself and realized that I was short of breath walking up a flight of steps, lagging to get up in the morning, and losing my energy to play with my one year old son in the evenings, there was no motivation to change. I'm not saying that any of that is you, but you don't have to be in the state that you are in if you don't want to be. I do agree with the others here who say that over eating is not likely as much an addiction as you think but its more or less a lack of motivation and probably stems from depression as well. You have to find your motivation to get back moving. Don't compare yourself to anyone but who you know that you can be. I fell on my diet and exercise and ate junk over the week of new years (which killed me because I did so well over Christmas and Thanksgiving) and stopped exercising after hurting my knee. I took a picture of myself and compared it to my beginning of December picture and, while I was lighter, I was not near as healthy looking. Why is it that you want to eat better and get fit? To look better? Feel better? Or be healthy for you and your loved ones? Find your motivation and stick to it. Go through your fridge, take out and throw away ALL of the junk and replace it with something else, your sweets with fruit, your breads with vegetables and your fatty meats with lean ones and get going. Just because you fell behind doesn't mean that you have to stay there. You will find that when you begin to trim down, it'll do wonders to your depression and mood as well. I know because I've suffered for years and am finally finding what it's like to run around and laugh with my kids rather than just wanting to curl up and sleep all the time. I hope this helps.I’m new to MFP so I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to just chime in here but if I may….
That whole mentality of “one more day and tomorrow I'll start” or “I’m starting my diet on Monday” is just denial. Tomorrow is not magic and neither is Monday. You’ll feel the same feelings you do today so why not start TODAY? (like right NOW). It won’t be any easier tomorrow, or Monday or after the birthday party, or after the Holidays or after the wedding. There will ALWAYS be occasions to eat. The key is to learn to incorporate better eating habits into those occasions and be mindful of what we eat. Tomorrow is always a day away but today is here and now.
I agree that logging everything (even when we feel we went way overboard) is critical to success. Good luck to you allSavannaGrace94 wrote: »You're not "addicted" to junk, carbs/sweets etc. You just lack will power and motivation like you mentioned. I thought i was addicted to cheese burgers and crisps and cola, because i used to eat it none stop every single day for like 6 months, but then i looked in the mirror and saw the pounds piling on, you just have to stay focused! And if you ever feel like giving up again, dont do it! Think of the awesome body you will acheive at the end of all the hard work and sweatchristinev297 wrote: »Pick yourself up and start again. Do not give up!!
- Swap out chocolate for berries, rasberries, blackberries, strawberries.
- Add in lean meats and pile your plate with vegies and/or salad .
- Replace sugary drinks with plain ole water
- stay away from diet and low fat foods.
The above things worked for me. And once again, don't give up! There is a wealth of help and experience here.
You got this girl!!Ready2Rock206 wrote: »No to the detox. Start logging again and making healthy choices. Sounds like you've had a lot going on the past few months. Sometimes life just gets in the way. Dust yourself off, start logging and you'll do fine.
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I do appreciate all of your replies. Nicely put, and right to the point. The common advice sounds like forgive myself, get back up and do what I need to do. I have done it before so there is no true reason I can't do it again. I'm gonna try no do what was recommended, and stop with the delay right now. If.....no....when I get back on track, and start to feel it, I will post it. I did shop for whole foods this past week, so it's there, gotta get rid of all else. Thank you all. Oh yeah, that one confused, and BAM person your right, I looked back and had posted before, all I know is since Nov, I lost my phone, and was in the process of changing all my passwords on everything, I had quite a mess, and have worked and worked on fixing them, so yes I did have away of sighting in, on and off this time period. Excuses, not really, I myself know what happened, and that's all that really matters.0
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I do appreciate all of your replies. Nicely put, and right to the point. The common advice sounds like forgive myself, get back up and do what I need to do. I have done it before so there is no true reason I can't do it again. I'm gonna try no do what was recommended, and stop with the delay right now. If.....no....when I get back on track, and start to feel it, I will post it. I did shop for whole foods this past week, so it's there, gotta get rid of all else. Thank you all. Oh yeah, that one confused, and BAM person your right, I looked back and had posted before, all I know is since Nov, I lost my phone, and was in the process of changing all my passwords on everything, I had quite a mess, and have worked and worked on fixing them, so yes I did have away of sighting in, on and off this time period. Excuses, not really, I myself know what happened, and that's all that really matters.
Excuses ... very really ... a lot of them.-2 -
If you cannot log in to online calorie counters, try doing it by hand, like we used to do before all this online stuff. Most foods will say on the package how many calories, or are easy enough to find out at least a decent estimate. Get a pad of paper and record/tally it by hand on those days. Back in the eighties that's how we all did it. That way you can keep yourself on top of it and not lose track when you are away from a computer or the internet.0
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brianpperkins wrote: »I do appreciate all of your replies. Nicely put, and right to the point. The common advice sounds like forgive myself, get back up and do what I need to do. I have done it before so there is no true reason I can't do it again. I'm gonna try no do what was recommended, and stop with the delay right now. If.....no....when I get back on track, and start to feel it, I will post it. I did shop for whole foods this past week, so it's there, gotta get rid of all else. Thank you all. Oh yeah, that one confused, and BAM person your right, I looked back and had posted before, all I know is since Nov, I lost my phone, and was in the process of changing all my passwords on everything, I had quite a mess, and have worked and worked on fixing them, so yes I did have away of sighting in, on and off this time period. Excuses, not really, I myself know what happened, and that's all that really matters.
Excuses ... very really ... a lot of them.
Brian, I'm not sure what it is your attempting to do, but it certinally isn't helpful. Please restrain from reading or replying to my post. Obviously, you don't offer any useful advice, and seem to question any posts. I don't know what your trying to prove, but either way it's not helpful. Thanks anyway, but no thanks.
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+1I’m new to MFP so I’m not sure if it’s appropriate to just chime in here but if I may….
That whole mentality of “one more day and tomorrow I'll start” or “I’m starting my diet on Monday” is just denial. Tomorrow is not magic and neither is Monday. You’ll feel the same feelings you do today so why not start TODAY? (like right NOW). It won’t be any easier tomorrow, or Monday or after the birthday party, or after the Holidays or after the wedding. There will ALWAYS be occasions to eat. The key is to learn to incorporate better eating habits into those occasions and be mindful of what we eat. Tomorrow is always a day away but today is here and now.
I agree that logging everything (even when we feel we went way overboard) is critical to success. Good luck to you all
When I started my new life style plan it was lunch at work. I was eating a salad and though "I am going to lift some weights when I get home" (My housemate, bless his little soul, has a bench press set he never uses) And just like that I started.Don't be a victim. Our whole culture loves victimhood and tends to wallow in it. Everything is someone or something else's fault. Take responsibility for your choices. If you're shoving too much into your mouth, it's because you choose to. If you don't want to do it any more, then don't. Don't lie to yourself as if it isn't a choice.
I agree. While some people have unhealthy relationships with food it is not the food's fault.0 -
The fact you think honesty isn't helpful is revealing. So is your detox question. You provided mistruths in your OP and followed them with a series of excuses which you then tried to deny were excuses. Until you get honest with yourself, you will have issues.-4
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herrspoons wrote: »Mmm... excuses. Delicious excuses.
I always find it funny when an honest assessment gets flagged. Excuses are common ... people owning up to the fact they made excuses is rare.
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For my entire adult life, (and a little before) I've been of the mentality that I have to "get thinner". As I got older, my motivations for change turned more health conscious. But no matter what the motivation was, it was always a matter of "I've got to make this change"...I've got to start today, tomorrow, next week. It was like I had to flip a switch and just do it.
What I have just recently learned, is that losing weight, and getting healthy...it's not a campaign. Life change doesn't happen because you've planned it, calculated it did everything to a tee. It CAN happen that way, but unless you make changes in the way you see a healthy life, it won't stick. Life change occurs by slowly and gently training yourself to evolve your bad habits into better ones, and the better ones into good ones, and sometimes, the good ones into great ones.
And that's the hard part....retraining yourself. There is a reason, some reason, that you're doing the things that aren't good for you (we're all in that boat, that's how we got here) There is probably a laundry list of stressors in your life that are causing that behavior. But the immediate cause for eating those carbs and sweets? Because it feels better than doing anything else.
It's okay that you want to nurture yourself, it's human nature. No one wants to hurt. No one wants to feel alone, or betrayed, or sad. So we sooth ourselves...but not always the most health conscious ways.
It sounds like you might need to find some better way to sooth yourself when the going gets tough. Change something, ONE thing, and stick with it until that ritual becomes a habit. Until you do it so many times that it feels uncomfortable to not do that. Once you master one, work on another.
Look at your day. When do you really "lose it" and eat something you think you shouldn't? Find some alternative...Me? I like tea lately. So I make a BIG deal out of filling the tea pot, boiling the water until the kettle whistles, smelling the tea before it steeps, while it steeps, after it steeps. It's really only a couple of minutes, but what I'm doing is caring for myself, even just for a moment. But it doesn't have to be tea. It could be a walk, it could be some music. It could be some reading. It could be a bath.
You don't drag yourself into a healthy life, by threat and by frustration. You aren't a dog, and you don't need to rub your nose in what you've done. You take yourself by the hand and guide yourself gently where you'd like to go. When you accept that you're simply developing new habits, you then give yourself the chance to make a couple mistakes along the way. It's alright, you're alright. You'll be okay.
Good luck, and I'm sorry about your sister.
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brianpperkins wrote: »The fact you think honesty isn't helpful is revealing. So is your detox question. You provided mistruths in your OP and followed them with a series of excuses which you then tried to deny were excuses. Until you get honest with yourself, you will have issues.
I'm not a dishonest person at all, never have been. Believe what you want. But 2014 has been the best year I've had in the past five years, the weight coming off was real good for me to accomplish something on my own and to stick to it for I think somewhere around six months was huge. I passed several other hurdles this last year too. I made progress with leaps and bounds with my depression / bipolar, and that was a result of some really hard work. And was even allowed to go back to work. I've done really well with myself this year, and I'm not going to take the word of someone I don't even know insult me. What I had going on in nov dec was a fact not an excuse, i did side rail, but other than trying to add some back ground that I thought was helpful to my post is what I was trying to do. Please don't message me again.0 -
brianpperkins wrote: »The fact you think honesty isn't helpful is revealing. So is your detox question. You provided mistruths in your OP and followed them with a series of excuses which you then tried to deny were excuses. Until you get honest with yourself, you will have issues.
I'm not a dishonest person at all, never have been. Believe what you want. But 2014 has been the best year I've had in the past five years, the weight coming off was real good for me to accomplish something on my own and to stick to it for I think somewhere around six months was huge. I passed several other hurdles this last year too. I made progress with leaps and bounds with my depression / bipolar, and that was a result of some really hard work. And was even allowed to go back to work. I've done really well with myself this year, and I'm not going to take the word of someone I don't even know insult me. What I had going on in nov dec was a fact not an excuse, i did side rail, but other than trying to add some back ground that I thought was helpful to my post is what I was trying to do. Please don't message me again.
You claimed you hadn't logged on for three months while posting over 13 times in the last two of those months ... I'll be nice and call it a mistruth . Not knowing where your phone is so you can't track .. an excuse. If you find those statements of fact insulting, that is telling of your self image and ability to deal with reality ... something that your posting history shows a long history of.
P.S. I haven't messaged you. I've replied to public comments in public. If you expect a "go girl ... get your detox on" type reply, well, it's not coming from me.-4 -
brianpperkins wrote: »brianpperkins wrote: »The fact you think honesty isn't helpful is revealing. So is your detox question. You provided mistruths in your OP and followed them with a series of excuses which you then tried to deny were excuses. Until you get honest with yourself, you will have issues.
I'm not a dishonest person at all, never have been. Believe what you want. But 2014 has been the best year I've had in the past five years, the weight coming off was real good for me to accomplish something on my own and to stick to it for I think somewhere around six months was huge. I passed several other hurdles this last year too. I made progress with leaps and bounds with my depression / bipolar, and that was a result of some really hard work. And was even allowed to go back to work. I've done really well with myself this year, and I'm not going to take the word of someone I don't even know insult me. What I had going on in nov dec was a fact not an excuse, i did side rail, but other than trying to add some back ground that I thought was helpful to my post is what I was trying to do. Please don't message me again.
You claimed you hadn't logged on for three months while posting over 13 times in the last two of those months ... I'll be nice and call it a mistruth . Not knowing where your phone is so you can't track .. an excuse. If you find those statements of fact insulting, that is telling of your self image and ability to deal with reality ... something that your posting history shows a long history of.
P.S. I haven't messaged you. I've replied to public comments in public. If you expect a "go girl ... get your detox on" type reply, well, it's not coming from me.
I'll give you one:
"Go Girl!"0
This discussion has been closed.
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