Confused, and disappointed in myself.

brianpperkins

hamoncan wrote: »

brianpperkins wrote: »

Adpalangi wrote: »

brianpperkins wrote: »

The fact you think honesty isn't helpful is revealing. So is your detox question. You provided mistruths in your OP and followed them with a series of excuses which you then tried to deny were excuses. Until you get honest with yourself, you will have issues.

I'm not a dishonest person at all, never have been. Believe what you want. But 2014 has been the best year I've had in the past five years, the weight coming off was real good for me to accomplish something on my own and to stick to it for I think somewhere around six months was huge. I passed several other hurdles this last year too. I made progress with leaps and bounds with my depression / bipolar, and that was a result of some really hard work. And was even allowed to go back to work. I've done really well with myself this year, and I'm not going to take the word of someone I don't even know insult me. What I had going on in nov dec was a fact not an excuse, i did side rail, but other than trying to add some back ground that I thought was helpful to my post is what I was trying to do. Please don't message me again.

You claimed you hadn't logged on for three months while posting over 13 times in the last two of those months ... I'll be nice and call it a mistruth . Not knowing where your phone is so you can't track .. an excuse. If you find those statements of fact insulting, that is telling of your self image and ability to deal with reality ... something that your posting history shows a long history of.

P.S. I haven't messaged you. I've replied to public comments in public. If you expect a "go girl ... get your detox on" type reply, well, it's not coming from me.

I'll give you one:

"Go Girl!"

So you think a detox is a good idea for a person who repeatedly sets unrealistic expectations and spent months on a 1000 calorie a day intake even when it caused hair loss, sunken face, and family to note she was eating too little? Certain actions are worthy of positive comments ... nothing I've seen in the OP's actions is.

rahnia

OP, brianpperkins comments are valid. It's a realistic perspective without emotional entanglement. I appreciate that we all take criticism differently. Personally, I love when people pull me back in line with a harsh but fair truth. Brings it to my immediate attention & there's no excuse for me not to change my behaviour. Wish you the best on getting back on track.

Adpalangi

Crazyartgrrl wrote: »

For my entire adult life, (and a little before) I've been of the mentality that I have to "get thinner". As I got older, my motivations for change turned more health conscious. But no matter what the motivation was, it was always a matter of "I've got to make this change"...I've got to start today, tomorrow, next week. It was like I had to flip a switch and just do it.

What I have just recently learned, is that losing weight, and getting healthy...it's not a campaign. Life change doesn't happen because you've planned it, calculated it did everything to a tee. It CAN happen that way, but unless you make changes in the way you see a healthy life, it won't stick. Life change occurs by slowly and gently training yourself to evolve your bad habits into better ones, and the better ones into good ones, and sometimes, the good ones into great ones.

And that's the hard part....retraining yourself. There is a reason, some reason, that you're doing the things that aren't good for you (we're all in that boat, that's how we got here) There is probably a laundry list of stressors in your life that are causing that behavior. But the immediate cause for eating those carbs and sweets? Because it feels better than doing anything else.

It's okay that you want to nurture yourself, it's human nature. No one wants to hurt. No one wants to feel alone, or betrayed, or sad. So we sooth ourselves...but not always the most health conscious ways.

It sounds like you might need to find some better way to sooth yourself when the going gets tough. Change something, ONE thing, and stick with it until that ritual becomes a habit. Until you do it so many times that it feels uncomfortable to not do that. Once you master one, work on another.

Look at your day. When do you really "lose it" and eat something you think you shouldn't? Find some alternative...Me? I like tea lately. So I make a BIG deal out of filling the tea pot, boiling the water until the kettle whistles, smelling the tea before it steeps, while it steeps, after it steeps. It's really only a couple of minutes, but what I'm doing is caring for myself, even just for a moment. But it doesn't have to be tea. It could be a walk, it could be some music. It could be some reading. It could be a bath.

You don't drag yourself into a healthy life, by threat and by frustration. You aren't a dog, and you don't need to rub your nose in what you've done. You take yourself by the hand and guide yourself gently where you'd like to go. When you accept that you're simply developing new habits, you then give yourself the chance to make a couple mistakes along the way. It's alright, you're alright. You'll be okay.

Good luck, and I'm sorry about your sister.

Thank you so much for your kind advice, it does make a lot of sense. I will try to put that in my mindset to use daily