"Why you gotta be so mean?"
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People are a$$es- whatever- if someone was doing that I would ask if I had a tear in my pants probably.
But yeah- you get used to people looking at you doing weird things. It is what it is.
And I second getting weird looks for doing hip thrusts-eveyrone goes "don't make eye contact!!!" RUBBISH!!! you start putting two plates on there no one is making fun of you. - and then I dare them to look at me-MASSIVE_ LONG_ HARD COLD EYE CONTACT.... because my eyes say- yes- my vagina will rape you- you see this- this steel I'm throwing around.
WIll.
RAPE.
YOU.
You don't really have to say it- you can just transmit the message with your eyes- people stop looking at you funny.-3 -
jenluvsushi wrote: »The truth is that you have absolutley no idea why he was laughing and are probably projecting it upon yourself due to your own insecurity. I hope that as you lift, you get more confidence in yourself. Next time, if it really bothers you-ask him. I bet it had NOTHING to do with you. And if it was because of you, punch him in the effing face.
Think about it though. You go to the gym and you are new to lifting. You start doing squats to see a guy looking and snicker to what appears to be only you two there. I get where OP is coming from.
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What they all said, do your thing, but if that worried, then I would make whoever runs the gym aware of your concerns, so that if it happens again you know who o go to and you have a pattern of behaviour. If they did it again id ask them firmly what they thought they were doing and if unsatisfied with the response id just make a complaint, simples. You have every right to use the gym and not be harassed by an immature ahole.
Its very rare to hear of things like this and would be frowned on by the vast majority, so dont let yourself be intimidated.0 -
People are a$$es- whatever- if someone was doing that I would ask if I had a tear in my pants probably.
But yeah- you get used to people looking at you doing weird things. It is what it is.
And I second getting weird looks for doing hip thrusts-eveyrone goes "don't make eye contact!!!" RUBBISH!!! you start putting two plates on there no one is making fun of you. - and then I dare them to look at me-MASSIVE_ LONG_ HARD COLD EYE CONTACT.... because my eyes say- yes- my vagina will rape you- you see this- this steel I'm throwing around.
WIll.
RAPE.
YOU.
You don't really have to say it- you can just transmit the message with your eyes- people stop looking at you funny.
We should do hip thrusts at the same time. Facing at each other. Grunting.0 -
Don't worry about it. If he was laughing about you, it says more about him than you. Keep doin your thing
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Really though which muscles are technically bigger in the body. Quads and hams. any other muscle bigger than the glutes besides those two? Maybe pecs but I think the glutes are bigger. Idk.0
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Why should he? How about you keep your "offending" to yourself?Please mind your own business and keep your laughing to yourself if you think something or someone looks funny doing something especially at a gym.
What I mean is, he finds something about you (if that even was about you) funny... good for him. You find it offensive or discouraging, or intimidating, or whatever... good for you. None of you are entitled not to feel the way you do and none of you are entitled to hide those emotions either.
It's kinda like sticking your nose in a business what is not your's. It's not his business what kind of weight you lift or what kind of form you have, etc. And it's not your's what he is laughing about.
What I'm saying is, it's you who are doing the offending/intimidating, to yourself. It's not him. Might as well be a very fit looking lady sitting there and then she looks at you and you go "don't look at me, you're in so good shape and I'm not, you are intimidating me, are you making a point looking at me?". While she would just look around cos... people tend to do that sometimes, ya know, we have... eyes. In that extreme example, is it your fault for being shy/nervous/low self esteem or is it her's for having the eyes? Same concept here.Just a bit of my day and hope someone can learn from it.
I think that the MAIN person who should learn something from this is YOU. Observe your self confidence problems and work on them. That is the real problem and not guy having a lough about your squatting butt.
Focus on the fact that you are working on your health and body. On exercises you are doing and not what others at gym are doing. Getting healthy and fit should be about YOU and not about others.
I probably ended up sounding like an ahole. No h8, m8. Duces.0 -
ainarsraciks wrote: »
Why should he? How about you keep your "offending" to yourself?Please mind your own business and keep your laughing to yourself if you think something or someone looks funny doing something especially at a gym.
What I mean is, he finds something about you (if that even was about you) funny... good for him. You find it offensive or discouraging, or intimidating, or whatever... good for you. None of you are entitled not to feel the way you do and none of you are entitled to hide those emotions either.
It's kinda like sticking your nose in a business what is not your's. It's not his business what kind of weight you lift or what kind of form you have, etc. And it's not your's what he is lough ting about.
What I'm saying is, it's you who are doing the offending/intimidating, to yourself. It's not him. Might as well be a very fit looking lady sitting there and the she looks at you and you go "don't look at me, you're in so good shape and I'm not, you are intimidating me, are you making a point looking at me?". While she would just look around cos... people tend to do that sometimes, ya know, we have... eyes. In that extreme example is it your fault for being shy/nervous/low self esteem or is it her's for having the eyes? Same concept here.Just a bit of my day and hope someone can learn from it.
I think that that the MAIN person who should learn something from this is YOU. Observe your self confidence problems and work on them. That is a real problem and not guy having a lough about your squatting butt.
Focus on the fact that you are working on your health and body. On exercises you are doing and not what others at gym are doing. Getting healthy and fit should be about YOU and not about others.
I probably ended up sounding like an ahole. No h8, m8. Duces.
Errr no she has a right to be left alone without being harassed or ridiculed by another member. It was obviously done in an offputting way and it unnerved her. If he finds something funny thats fine but he can go and laugh oustide instead of doing it in a discourteous and offputting way. I confrim you neded up soundling like you intended.0 -
ainarsraciks wrote: »
Why should he? How about you keep your "offending" to yourself?Please mind your own business and keep your laughing to yourself if you think something or someone looks funny doing something especially at a gym.
What I mean is, he finds something about you (if that even was about you) funny... good for him. You find it offensive or discouraging, or intimidating, or whatever... good for you. None of you are entitled not to feel the way you do and none of you are entitled to hide those emotions either.
It's kinda like sticking your nose in a business what is not your's. It's not his business what kind of weight you lift or what kind of form you have, etc. And it's not your's what he is lough ting about.
What I'm saying is, it's you who are doing the offending/intimidating, to yourself. It's not him. Might as well be a very fit looking lady sitting there and the she looks at you and you go "don't look at me, you're in so good shape and I'm not, you are intimidating me, are you making a point looking at me?". While she would just look around cos... people tend to do that sometimes, ya know, we have... eyes. In that extreme example is it your fault for being shy/nervous/low self esteem or is it her's for having the eyes? Same concept here.Just a bit of my day and hope someone can learn from it.
I think that that the MAIN person who should learn something from this is YOU. Observe your self confidence problems and work on them. That is a real problem and not guy having a lough about your squatting butt.
Focus on the fact that you are working on your health and body. On exercises you are doing and not what others at gym are doing. Getting healthy and fit should be about YOU and not about others.
I probably ended up sounding like an ahole. No h8, m8. Duces.
Errr no she has a right to be left alone without being harassed or ridiculed by another member. It was obviously done in an offputting way and it unnerved her. If he finds something funny thats fine but he can go and laugh oustide instead of doing it in a discourteous and offputting way. I confrim you neded up soundling like you intended.
Everybody has right to be left alone but nobody is entitled to actually leave them alone, unless they are breaking the law.
In this case calling it harassment or being ridiculed is very huge exaggeration.0 -
ainarsraciks wrote: »
Why should he? How about you keep your "offending" to yourself?Please mind your own business and keep your laughing to yourself if you think something or someone looks funny doing something especially at a gym.
What I mean is, he finds something about you (if that even was about you) funny... good for him. You find it offensive or discouraging, or intimidating, or whatever... good for you. None of you are entitled not to feel the way you do and none of you are entitled to hide those emotions either.
It's kinda like sticking your nose in a business what is not your's. It's not his business what kind of weight you lift or what kind of form you have, etc. And it's not your's what he is lough ting about.
What I'm saying is, it's you who are doing the offending/intimidating, to yourself. It's not him. Might as well be a very fit looking lady sitting there and the she looks at you and you go "don't look at me, you're in so good shape and I'm not, you are intimidating me, are you making a point looking at me?". While she would just look around cos... people tend to do that sometimes, ya know, we have... eyes. In that extreme example is it your fault for being shy/nervous/low self esteem or is it her's for having the eyes? Same concept here.Just a bit of my day and hope someone can learn from it.
I think that that the MAIN person who should learn something from this is YOU. Observe your self confidence problems and work on them. That is a real problem and not guy having a lough about your squatting butt.
Focus on the fact that you are working on your health and body. On exercises you are doing and not what others at gym are doing. Getting healthy and fit should be about YOU and not about others.
I probably ended up sounding like an ahole. No h8, m8. Duces.
Yeah I'm not buying it. out and out laughing at someone in the gym isn't niceJeffseekingV wrote: »People are a$$es- whatever- if someone was doing that I would ask if I had a tear in my pants probably.
But yeah- you get used to people looking at you doing weird things. It is what it is.
And I second getting weird looks for doing hip thrusts-eveyrone goes "don't make eye contact!!!" RUBBISH!!! you start putting two plates on there no one is making fun of you. - and then I dare them to look at me-MASSIVE_ LONG_ HARD COLD EYE CONTACT.... because my eyes say- yes- my vagina will rape you- you see this- this steel I'm throwing around.
WIll.
RAPE.
YOU.
You don't really have to say it- you can just transmit the message with your eyes- people stop looking at you funny.
We should do hip thrusts at the same time. Facing at each other. Grunting.
I'm in.0 -
Never said it's nice or a good thing to do. But they are also not entitled not to, just because it's mean. That's just a consequence of leaving our house - we may encounter some people who are not nice.ainarsraciks wrote: »
Why should he? How about you keep your "offending" to yourself?Please mind your own business and keep your laughing to yourself if you think something or someone looks funny doing something especially at a gym.
What I mean is, he finds something about you (if that even was about you) funny... good for him. You find it offensive or discouraging, or intimidating, or whatever... good for you. None of you are entitled not to feel the way you do and none of you are entitled to hide those emotions either.
It's kinda like sticking your nose in a business what is not your's. It's not his business what kind of weight you lift or what kind of form you have, etc. And it's not your's what he is lough ting about.
What I'm saying is, it's you who are doing the offending/intimidating, to yourself. It's not him. Might as well be a very fit looking lady sitting there and the she looks at you and you go "don't look at me, you're in so good shape and I'm not, you are intimidating me, are you making a point looking at me?". While she would just look around cos... people tend to do that sometimes, ya know, we have... eyes. In that extreme example is it your fault for being shy/nervous/low self esteem or is it her's for having the eyes? Same concept here.Just a bit of my day and hope someone can learn from it.
I think that that the MAIN person who should learn something from this is YOU. Observe your self confidence problems and work on them. That is a real problem and not guy having a lough about your squatting butt.
Focus on the fact that you are working on your health and body. On exercises you are doing and not what others at gym are doing. Getting healthy and fit should be about YOU and not about others.
I probably ended up sounding like an ahole. No h8, m8. Duces.
Yeah I'm not buying it. out and out laughing at someone in the gym isn't nice
The point is, where does emotion come from? Does the guy laughs and an intimidation fairy flies out of his mouth in your ear, so you get intimidated? Is it he who is intimidating you and doing this to you? Or are YOU creating the intimidation in your own brain?
All our emotions are crated in our brain, we are doing it to ourselves. Hence it's our fault, not the people's who are "doing" it "to" us. So it's silly to blame it on a guy when YOU are the one crating it. That's my point.0 -
I agree it's a free space to do so. You open yourself up the moment you walk out the door.
Still doesn't make it okay.0 -
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I will have to agree on getting a set of headphones and plug in when you are at the gym.
Or, you could have taken the less passive-aggressive approach, gone straight to aggressive and asked this guy "wtf is so funny?"0 -
So I've been working out at home (no treadmill but I have a pretty decent weight set) but I started a new job and they have a gym, a really nice one at that. Anyways so this morning I got on the treadmill for 15 min and then went to the weights. Now under no circumstances am I strong (getting there) but I do like the free weights. 25-35lbs.
So I'm doing squats and I hear this guy behind me snickering. No one is talking to him (I see him in the mirror) Okay not a big deal maybe he is remembering something funny or whatever. He then laughs/snickers another 2x. At this point I am assuming it is me that has him laughing. Finally, feeling like I'm who he is laughing at, I go back to the treadmill. Idk if I have bad form or he's never seen a person do a squat but whatever it is it's very intimidating as a woman (speaking for myself) to lift in front of men to begin with but to then snicker?! Please mind your own business and keep your laughing to yourself if you think something or someone looks funny doing something especially at a gym. If he thought I was doing it wrong or looked funny he could have come and showed me otherwise as people have done that in the past which was very appreciated.
So anyway I'm there the same reason as you, to get in shape and get healthy. Just a bit of my day and hope someone can learn from it. Have a good one
No idea why this post is flagged, but if I was you I would have just asked him point blank if he was laughing at you and if so, why. I try not to assume and I certainly would NOT have changed my routine based on an assumption. I'll ask someone to clarify what they said or did first and then draw my conclusions. Pretty sure if you had asked this guy what was going on you would've saved yourself some stress.0 -
So... you concocted this whole story to give yourself further insecurities/anger?
He easily could have seen something on his phone and still been laughing; phones are tucked away, and occasionally funny things stay funny beyond 30 seconds. Or he had headphones you didn't see. Or there was a TV showing something funny. Or he just happened to remember something funny (which is something I end up giggling about every other time I bench, as I remember a particular benching story ).
There are so, so many explanations that make more sense than him actively laughing at you or anyone in the gym. Including the possibility that he was laughing SO you would tak to him/ask him what's funny, and he segues into asking you out/talking to you.0 -
Maybe your pants are see-through when you're at the bottom of your squat.0
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JeffseekingV wrote: »Try doing weighted hip thrusts. THEN come back and talk to us. If I worried wtf people thought of me, I wouldn't get 1/2 of my stuff done or more importantly, achieve what I set out to achieve
Oh, that's an exercise? Cool! Next time I do the roll of shame, I can just roll halfway down and claim I'm doing hip thrusts
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So... you concocted this whole story to give yourself further insecurities/anger?
He easily could have seen something on his phone and still been laughing; phones are tucked away, and occasionally funny things stay funny beyond 30 seconds. Or he had headphones you didn't see. Or there was a TV showing something funny. Or he just happened to remember something funny (which is something I end up giggling about every other time I bench, as I remember a particular benching story ).
There are so, so many explanations that make more sense than him actively laughing at you or anyone in the gym. Including the possibility that he was laughing SO you would tak to him/ask him what's funny, and he segues into asking you out/talking to you.
I want this forum to have "thumbs up" option for forum posts!
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One girl is thinking; "oh, he's laughing at me, he probably thinks im hot and wanna attract my attention" and feels great about herself. Another girl is thinking "oh, he's laughing at me, he probably thinks I look silly" and feels bad.
You can't choose what other people do at gym but you can choose what you make out of it and how that makes you feel. Just change what you focus on and you can make yourself feel great instead of bad.0 -
[/quote]
Everybody has right to be left alone but nobody is entitled to actually leave them alone, unless they are breaking the law.
In this case calling it harassment or being ridiculed is very huge exaggeration. [/quote]
Your English is rather confusing. If she has a right to be left alone, but isnt entitled to be left alone, then how does that work?
If the laughing is directed at her, then they dont have to be breaking the law, they can simply be at odds with common courtesy or the rules of the gym she is at, which would include respect and no unwelcome interference with other members.
Yes it would amount to harassment and ridicule because it didnt happen once but it happened three times and the effect was she felt intimidated enough to leave the weights and go back to the treadmill. Thats her account.
I am quite surprised you are supporting this other guys right as you see it to laugh at other gym members because of how they are exercising, which is immature at best and downright rude and discourteous. You might find it acceptable, but id have no problem reporting you to the gym or your manager (as its a work gym) if you were doing the same. Be a jerk in your own space and inflict it on your friends.
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ainarsraciks wrote: »One girl is thinking; "oh, he's laughing at me, he probably thinks im hot and wanna attract my attention" and feels great about herself. Another girl is thinking "oh, he's laughing at me, he probably thinks I look silly" and feels bad.
I'm not sure I've ever met a woman who would think that a man laughing at her was thinking she was hot and wanting to attract her attention.
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I vote for jerk. My former brother in law used to say the rudest things and follow with "just kidding!" yeah right.0
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Was he looking at you as he was snickering? You only say that you saw him in the mirror but not that he was looking right at you. Did he have ear buds in that maybe you didn't see? Perhaps something funny came on the radio and he was snickering at that?
There are plenty of times that something will strike me funny -- something I hear, something that I see might trigger some funny memory or I'm just thinking of a certain person or situation -- and I'll start giggling. I'm not laughing at anyone, I'm just . . . . laughing.0 -
It's a paradox, isn't it? Because everybody has the same rights to freedom of speech, expression, etc. Also, in this case I mean this particular situation. If he would have harassed her, which he did not in my opinion, then he would be of course entitled to leave her alone by law.
Your English is rather confusing. If she has a right to be left alone, but isnt entitled to be left alone, then how does that work?
I still disagree with you on this one. I don't think it's harassment and ridicule.Yes it would amount to harassment and ridicule because it didnt happen once but it happened three times and the effect was she felt intimidated enough to leave the weights and go back to the treadmill. Thats her account.
That's ok, of course you could do that. And at that point it would be up to gym to decide what to do with me. But that would still be their subjective decision, in a situation like this. Also, would probably had more to do with gym's reputation from business perspective rather than what's actually "right" from perspective of fairness.I am quite surprised you are supporting this other guys right as you see it to laugh at other gym members because of how they are exercising, which is immature at best and downright rude and discourteous. You might find it acceptable, but id have no problem reporting you to the gym or your manager (as its a work gym) if you were doing the same. Be a jerk in your own space and inflict it on your friends.
Just to clarify, I do not support the guy's right to laugh at people with intention to intimidate them or hurt them emotionally in any other way. But if he genuinely finds something funny and has no mean intentions then yes, I support his rights to laugh and don't think he is entitled to hold back.
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herrspoons wrote: »Hip thrusts? Not even once.
Anyway, you should have whirled round, brained him with the weights, then found his locker key, stolen his car, robbed his house, and, possibly, killed his dog.
Some would say that's harsh, but they're probably pinkos.
and that's how it's done kids.
That's how it's done.0 -
Are you sure he wasn't listening to a funny podcast or something? Through a small bluetooth in his ear?
Since this was your workplace, I would be tempted to ask him what his deal was and if he didn't have a real good excuse, maybe even mention it to someone above you. I'm not at all overly sensitive to harrassment but laughing at someone in the gym is pretty over the line. And in the workplace you have the right to respect, legally.0 -
For me: headphones on. Drown out the world with some good kick *kitten* energetic get me moving music.
Can't worry about others around me and what they may or may not be doing in the corner of my eye.0
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NCILdSxhIS8
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