Dating and the curvy body...anyone afraid of the weight loss

jasonmh630

UCCrista wrote: »

I don't know what to make of this subject, actually. That is probably why I am reading these posts.

I have always been confident, and my friends and acquaintances have commented on this occasionally. However, whether 132 lbs. or 324 lbs. or anywhere in between, I don't remember a time when I didn't have "a shortage of men knockng down your door". I am fine with who I am and I have been comfortable with my body while 265 lbs. or less, but that doesn't seem to make a difference.

Some of my girlfriends say my confidence is intimidating, but - wth - you either have it or you don't. Apparently, it's because I just don't care what other people think. I think it might be that I am more driven than most, and possibly my worldview. I don't know that confidence has anything to do with it.

Like ADC said, you like what you like. Sometimes the package just falls short for whatever reason (physical, intellectual, emotional, whatever), and you are not interested. Other times, the rare ones, you find exactly what you want even if you didn't know it.

"Thank god for Netflix!!" --tracyannk28

I know and understand where you're coming from... I've always been confident in who I am, but for some reason (with me) it doesn't seem to make a difference. Maybe it's the area I live in because most of the guys down here are athletic or at least somewhat in shape. That seems to be what the ladies around here want. I know not all of them do, but it seems to be the consensus.

MellowGa

yep, it's about confidence in yourself. Be confident in whom you are and people will like you for who you are.

Sure looks are important, but Personality trumps the looks any day.

Women like confident men, Men like confident women.

Never think you are not "worthy" of someones attention.

as I say to all my female friends who are single, "keep your head up, Smile and always say HI! " you never know where it might lead, and if a guy makes small talk...when you do that..keep it going and see where it leads to.

When I met my wife I was not interested in her, but we alked and chatted at work.....25 years later, three teen kids.....it was her personality...and she is better looking now, then when I met her....because she is mine.

yourradimradletshug

I am just scared of loosing the weight I have up top. Just want my tummy gone haha.

laineybz

When I started losing weight, I was happily single. My confidence was growing and it caught the eye of a lad I met working a show. We got together, I continued to lose weight. Had a happy year and a bit together. I believe we never would have got together if i wasn't happy within myself. I wasn't looking, but i was pleased it happened.

shaynepoole

I thought the same thing about the weight. Oddly enough I still see the same guys I was seeing before I lost the weight - you know, the ones who liked bigger women. Must be my stunning personality

LAMCDylan

But your weight loss should be for health reasons. Being overweight, especially long term and into your later years of life is not good for you. While some men may like bigger women, they also like thinner/lighter women too. You gotta make a choice. Who's more important them or you?

ucbycindy

I am glad I am not alone...my weight is part of my identity...curvy fun lovin Cindy...so in my head I know that it is about personality...but really is a scary change and I think part of the reason I am struggling.

oxers

Yeah, you want someone who is happiest to see you at your healthiest, whatever weight that may be. Anyone who is less attracted to you because you're less curvacious but happier and healthier isn't someone you want in your life. If you were chronically underweight and it was taking a toll on your health, would you have any patience for someone who'd want you to stay thin at the expense of your well-being? Hell no. You'd kick him to the curb.

I get worrying about your identity changing, though. It's rough! It's scary. We spend so much time thinking we know who we are, and it's hard to divorce that from external things like weight. Even if you don't like it, it's hard to let go of it and think of yourself as anything else.

It's hard.

MummyKate85

I'm scared. My partner is and always has been attracted to curvy women. Im kinda worried he wont find me attractive when I've lost weight. I need to lose weight to be healtheir, and he knws this and understands but im still worried

xstephnz

I'm big and not curvy at all. I don't think many guys find my figure attractive. Curves certainly help!