Gained back weight...how can I lose it and feel sexy again?

hrcowman
hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
When I first started MFP, I weighed 203lbs. I eventually lost over 50 pounds and got down around 150...but some of my weight has crept back on. I weigh 165 now. When I was at my lowest I felt so goo and didn't have body dysmorphia anymore. I counted calories and it was so easy to lose the weight the first time, but now I can't do it. I feel awful and ugly. I know I'm much thinner than I used to be...and I'm so proud of what I've accomplished...but I feel like I did when I weighed 203lbs. I just want to feel pretty again and lose the weight I've gained, plus some, and I can't seem to do it. My boyfriend loves me the way I am and tells me I'm "sexy" and "pretty" all the time, but it's hard for me to believe him when I feel so disgusted with myself for gaining weight back. Does anyone have any tips as to how I can lose the weight again and gain back the motivation I once had? How can I learn to feel beautiful and sexy again when I hate on my body like I do?
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Replies

  • dgoradia
    dgoradia Posts: 109 Member
    Start counting kcals again. It worked once...
  • Crochetluvr
    Crochetluvr Posts: 3,334 Member
    Speaking as a former yo-yo dieter, you CAN do it. I was up to about 220 pounds at one point, dieted down to 170, then went back up to 210. Talk about complacent! I was the poster child for complacency. Not any more. I developed diabetes, was disgusted with myself and started over. I don't weigh much less than you and I feel sexy even though I am still losing.

    I understand how tough it can be to keep trying. But you just have to get it into your mindset that its NOT a diet....its not temporary. Its for the rest of your life. So get started and good luck!
  • MJH2
    MJH2 Posts: 55 Member
    Ok, let me help you with my story. My top weight was 328 lbs, five years ago I weighed 154 lbs, total loss of 174lbs. Unfortunately, two years ago I got to go through menopause ( I am only 45 so it was really early) and had some other health issues and I now weigh 234 lbs, gained back 80 lbs. What I've learned through this journey is, DON'T beat yourself up, take it one day at a time and stick to the plan. Watch what you're putting in your mouth AND more IMPORTANTLY keep your body moving. It's not always what we put in our mouths but how often we exercise it out of our bodies. I pay closer attention to the nutrition I'm putting in more now than before. The other thing I have to remind myself every single day, is to eat at least 1200 calories, otherwise my body stops. You'll get there, don't give up.

    You may also want to figure out where your at in your women cycle of life, as well as getting your Vitamin D levels checks.
  • jess_1993
    jess_1993 Posts: 151 Member
    Well the same thing happened to me. I lost the weight easily at first and was very happy with my body for a while until the weight crept back on and now here I am, loosing the weight again, slowly. I realized I gained it all back because the first time I lost the weight it wasn't in the healthiest way (low calorie intake, high exercise regimen). I found that I was doing the same thing now and since I know its not sustainable I decided to see a therapist as well as a nutritionist. This may or may not help but either way, keep your head up and don't give up! Try and find out what went wrong the first time and fix it! The weight may come off slower but at least when it comes off, hopefully it'll stay off! Good luck! :)
  • airangel59
    airangel59 Posts: 1,887 Member
    Does anyone have any tips as to how I can lose the weight again and gain back the motivation I once had? How can I learn to feel beautiful and sexy again when I hate on my body like I do?

    LOL the same way you did it the first time. Weigh, measure & log everything. Unfortunately those of us (and yes, I'm guilty of it too) who lose, go back to eating the exact same way we did the first time, which caused the weight gain. We think we have a handle on it, we know portion size, we know what we should & shouldn't be eating... yada yada yada and off to yo- yo land we go.

    It's not easy but you caught it before you gained it all back AND then some. I wasn't as lucky, all my yo-yo's set me to a new higher than before weight. Tomorrow's a new day, get a grip & get back on track. We can do this!!! :flowerforyou:
  • leebesstoad
    leebesstoad Posts: 1,186 Member
    I think the first thing you might need to do is to stop beating yourself up so much. Maybe learn to at least like yourself a little bit, if you can't love yourself yet.

    "I feel awful and ugly"
    "but it's hard for me to believe him when I feel so disgusted with myself"
    "How can I learn to feel beautiful and sexy again when I hate on my body like I do?"

    That's a heavy load you are carrying there. And it makes it all the harder to motivate yourself. Looking at your profile picture, I'm sorry but you are beautiful and pretty. Your bf is complimenting you. FOR GOD'S SAKE, ACCEPT IT!!!!!!! Otherwise you might drive him away (trust me on that one, cause I was in your shoes and almost did the same thing).

    One baby step at a time. Slowly, surely. You did it before. You can do it again, and you don't have far to go. And with a bf like you seem to have, you have the motivation to do it. Just slowly work at it.

    And give yourself the props and love you deserve.
  • hrcowman
    hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
    Thanks for all your kind words and advice. It's not going to be easy, but I did it once before and I can do it again. I just need the same passion I had before and I need to stop beating myself up.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    How did the weight creep back on? Think about what was the real cause, and try to make some changes there.
  • HealthyLeeLee
    HealthyLeeLee Posts: 97 Member
    I lost 12 pounds and was 3 pounds away from my goal when I gained it all back. I lost it by eating too few calories and as soon as I increased them I ballooned up and gained all the weight back and then some. It was so hard to start over and begin the process again. I still struggle with beating myself up for "not being able to maintain my progress." One thing that helps me is a verse (I apologize for being cheesy, but it really has helped!): "The secret of change is to focus all of your energy, not on fighting the old, but on building the new"~Socrates. Maybe it will help you too! I hope you find your motivation ;)
  • hrcowman
    hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
    Thanks! (:
  • trbilbao
    trbilbao Posts: 27 Member
    Unfortunately my dear there are so many of us in this situation . I am just back this week for the same reason. I really do relate to you and know that others will say that we look great or beautiful, but we MUST feel it ourselves to believe it . That is the reason I am back is to gain that self confidence I had when I knew I was at the right body weight - not skinny , but lean and strong.


    I have found through this process of losing and then gaining the I must track everything. When I thought I was eating the same thing every day, I gained weight because I was obviously adding calories with snacks and portion sizes. My husband lost a lot of weight a few years ago and still tracks his food and keeps the weight off. I think this is really the key to success is to track your food and exercise. It is not just a diet, but a life long change.

    We can do this! Let's succeed together and lose the weight not just again but for good- you are not alone
  • hrcowman
    hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
    Thank you SO much. It's nice to have someone feel the same as me!
  • simonc14
    simonc14 Posts: 76 Member
    There are many fantastic replies here, and I'm sure all of us that have gained, lost and gained again know how losing the weight makes us feel better about ourselves. Self confidence is such a fragile thing, and I'm sure you'll find it again once you get back on track.

    Good luck with it!
  • tdfarmer
    tdfarmer Posts: 176 Member
    The past 3 months I have struggled. Went from being at goal to gaining back half of what I lost. First thing is you need to not be beating yourself up. Right now I'm 6 days being back on track. My worst day was day 6, had pizza, putting me over for the day. Normally I would beat myself up, but guess what, I'm ok with it, because by the time I got exercise in it put me at maintenance level calories and I'm well under goal calories for the week. Maybe not the best day, but I have overcome so much this week, and I'm not beating myself up over this one meal. Chocolate has been my one of triggers lately. I told my family they had to hide it, I did look for it a couple days but I did get over it. At work they had a big box of fun size candy bars, I allowed myself 2. Stress is another trigger for me. I just have to handle it the best I can and not use food as comfort. Trust me its not easy accepting gaining back half of what I lost, but I have to deal with it. Refocus, remember why I'm here and take small steps to get back. I'm not sure how your s support is on here, but I found finding more encouraging friends really helped me this week!
  • fatsnacker
    fatsnacker Posts: 209 Member
    You have done great losing the weight the first time; You can now either start counting calories again or try fasting sensibly for one or two days a week. When I reach my goal weight, I am going to fast one day a week to maintain.
  • hrcowman
    hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
    Thanks for all your wonderful advice! It really helps!
  • janepatricia2
    janepatricia2 Posts: 40 Member
    due to my operation 5 years ago and treatment after i lost over 2 stone, During the past 5 years because i was recovering i ate to keep well and not to eat healthily as everyone was saying "you must eat" well now i have put over a stone on and i am really trying hard to lose it.
    so like you i need support, you can do it, you did it before, and i keep telling myself it will all be worth it, :smile:
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
    I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was 145 and got down to 125. Now I'm back to 130, but I swear, I feel as gross as I did at 145! And counting calories seems so much harder this time around for some reason? I keep going over my goal. I just want to lose another 5 pounds and get back to 125, and maybe even another 5 after that to get to 120. I'm sorry I don't have any solid advice but just wanted to say I can relate.

    The important thing is to remember that we HAVE made amazing progress. You are NOT the same as you were at 200 pounds.
  • gigglybeth
    gigglybeth Posts: 365 Member
    You still are down 38 pounds from where you were! That's awesome! You can do it again.
  • hrcowman
    hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
    Thanks!
  • dreambodin2011
    dreambodin2011 Posts: 166 Member
    if you are anything like me....you are simply A DAY OR TWO away from feeling good about yourself again.

    If I am neglecting my diet and eating crap (cos I like /love junk food) I hate my body and feel so FAT.

    But it seems to only take a couple of days of healthy and respectful eating, and I feel wonderful again - sexy and attractive and happy. And nothing much has changed in my body - just my diet.

    So all I can say is stop waiting for the motivation to hit you - YOU MUST just start respecting your body NOW....just do it and the motivation will come.

    Good luck. Your body is a temple - respect your health you don't know what's around the corner or when you will lose it! xx
  • lindssaurus
    lindssaurus Posts: 98 Member
    OMG Im going through the same thing. I was 170 6 years ago. then I lost it all and went down to 130lb. for the past 4 yrs it has crept up. I lost 10lbs last summer and then gained it all back! all that hard work. Just simply too tired to do it again the first time...worked out (running and weights) 6 days aweek. keep at it thats the best I can give you...there are no magic pills. you just have to make promises to yourself to go to the gym and eat clean food...you can messege me anytime if you are having problems still.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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  • FattieBabs
    FattieBabs Posts: 542 Member
    First of all you have a lot going for you. You realised you had to do something before you gained the weight back; you have a supportive partner; you haven't put all the weight back on!

    So, maybe try a loss of 1 pound a week only, no more than that. Look at exercising 3 times a week rather than going mad. The whole point is to plan a weight loss programme that is manageable. This will make it easier when you get down to the final 14 pounds. Good luck. Hopefully you will feel much better once you get cracking again!
  • Fairlieboy
    Fairlieboy Posts: 84 Member
    Lots of support here. My OH has been on & off dieting for 30 years. Research results from 60 different researchers with over 60,000 show dieters after they give up the diet, after 2 years, are heavier. Which is why everyone says it's lifestyle change needed. Otherwise it is your own focus & self control! It's pretty hard to have self control for ever. We have been doing the 5:2 diet combined with no fructose as a lifestyle change as it only is 2 days you need 'control ' but you need to find something that works long term. Else you will be relying on willpower & will remain like those 60,000! MFP works as part of the education & support process. :smile:
  • __Di__
    __Di__ Posts: 1,659 Member
    When I first started MFP, I weighed 203lbs. I eventually lost over 50 pounds and got down around 150...but some of my weight has crept back on. I weigh 165 now. When I was at my lowest I felt so goo and didn't have body dysmorphia anymore. I counted calories and it was so easy to lose the weight the first time, but now I can't do it. I feel awful and ugly. I know I'm much thinner than I used to be...and I'm so proud of what I've accomplished...but I feel like I did when I weighed 203lbs. I just want to feel pretty again and lose the weight I've gained, plus some, and I can't seem to do it. My boyfriend loves me the way I am and tells me I'm "sexy" and "pretty" all the time, but it's hard for me to believe him when I feel so disgusted with myself for gaining weight back. Does anyone have any tips as to how I can lose the weight again and gain back the motivation I once had? How can I learn to feel beautiful and sexy again when I hate on my body like I do?

    Weigh all food you consume, log it on your MFP diary and stick to your daily calorie allowance.
  • hrcowman
    hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
    Thanks for all of the replies! You guys are awesome!!! :D
  • hrcowman
    hrcowman Posts: 73 Member
    30357377.jpg

    This made me chuckle :P
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Sean Croxton has just done a great "SexyBack" summit, it's available on his website and you can listen to summaries of each day on his podcast - The Underground Wellness Show. It's all about diet and fitness and how it affects your sex drive amongst other things. Might be worth a listen.

    As for your weight - well, you are in the right place. Eat TDEE less 20% of good healthy real food, exercise moderately, lift some weights and make some realistic goals. You can do it.
  • MandaJean83
    MandaJean83 Posts: 675 Member
    Well I'm in a similar boat...I lost a total of 24 lbs last year, and I've now gained back 8 of it...even despite going to the gym. So now I'm cutting back again and buckling down.

    I just try to remember the things that made me successful the first time, and re-employ them on this second go-round. We can do it!!! :happy:

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