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Do people treat you differently after you lost weight? Does it make you happy, or sad, or both?

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Replies

  • KIZGNARR
    KIZGNARR Posts: 28 Member
    Sometimes I think that when you lose weight, you may not be yourself at 105 that you were at 120, even though it was only 15 lbs... maybe you are happier that you are healthier and that is what is more attractive, not just the weight. I know with the weight I have lost, my outlook and attitude is MUCH more positive because I am so much happier being active and healthy! :smiley: Food for thought...
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member
    edited January 2015
    astrose00 wrote: »

    Whenever a man is being nice to me (outside of work or somebody I've hired to do work on my house, for example) I usually assume it's because they are interested in me. And I can TELL when they aren't. No courtesy at all. You are invisible or less than human. I have a lot of guy friends who have told me that this is true. I know there are no absolutes but a lot of men are pretty transparent in this way.

    I think this is why some guys get so upset with women and accuse us of flirting or 'leading them on' when in reality, we were just being polite because we do that for EVERYONE.

    I do think that some people were born and raised in a barn, though. And my own personal manners and courtesy are not contingent upon whether or not I think someone is attractive.

  • Freedm16
    Freedm16 Posts: 14 Member
    I know how you feel. But if your trying to date, just make sure the guy you end up with would love you regardless of size. I started dating my boyfriend at my fittest, 5'4" and 140#. I am now up to 160# and when I complained about my weight to him he said he hadn't even noticed. It's easy to attract shallow guys at your fittest but due to life, things change and you want to feel loved no matter what your shape.
  • breefoshee
    breefoshee Posts: 398 Member
    edited January 2015
    emdeesea wrote: »
    astrose00 wrote: »

    Whenever a man is being nice to me (outside of work or somebody I've hired to do work on my house, for example) I usually assume it's because they are interested in me. And I can TELL when they aren't. No courtesy at all. You are invisible or less than human. I have a lot of guy friends who have told me that this is true. I know there are no absolutes but a lot of men are pretty transparent in this way.

    I think this is why some guys get so upset with women and accuse us of flirting or 'leading them on' when in reality, we were just being polite because we do that for EVERYONE.

    I do think that some people were born and raised in a barn, though. And my own personal manners and courtesy are not contingent upon whether or not I think someone is attractive.

    Ughh yes! My best friend is super attractive.. Like Jennifer Aniston in her glory days, and she is one of the nicest people you would ever meet-- not being fake at all. And she is really kind to EVERYONE (male, female, young, old) and intelligent, but she's not interested in a relationship right now. Almost once a week, a guy asks her out and then blames her for leading him on, when she's just being nice instead of rude to him.

  • JamieG8991
    JamieG8991 Posts: 1,203 Member
    I have had a few kind people say very nice things and I have also had to deal with unkind people saying mean things. Funny thing is the only people who have anything negative to say are all overweight so I'm guessing they're just jealous.
  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    breefoshee wrote: »
    emdeesea wrote: »
    astrose00 wrote: »

    Whenever a man is being nice to me (outside of work or somebody I've hired to do work on my house, for example) I usually assume it's because they are interested in me. And I can TELL when they aren't. No courtesy at all. You are invisible or less than human. I have a lot of guy friends who have told me that this is true. I know there are no absolutes but a lot of men are pretty transparent in this way.

    I think this is why some guys get so upset with women and accuse us of flirting or 'leading them on' when in reality, we were just being polite because we do that for EVERYONE.

    I do think that some people were born and raised in a barn, though. And my own personal manners and courtesy are not contingent upon whether or not I think someone is attractive.

    Ughh yes! My best friend is super attractive.. Like Jennifer Aniston in her glory days, and she is one of the nicest people you would ever meet-- not being fake at all. And she is really kind to EVERYONE (male, female, young, old) and intelligent, but she's not interested in a relationship right now. Almost once a week, a guy asks her out and then blames her for leading him on, when she's just being nice instead of rude to him.

    I have seen this a lot too! Totally agree...my nephew for example is kind of the chivalrous "Southern manners" boy, now an ex-Marine in his twenties, and he's very polite & helpful to all women. Because of this he had trouble with some girls when he was a teenager thinking he needed to marry/date them because he was nice to them at church or something...and even now, unwanted attention from women everywhere he goes. Now I am SURE he doesn't mind being found attractive by women in general, but he has an adorable wife and isn't into every woman he speaks to or helps out w/ lifting something heavy. It is definitely a double edged sword, all of this stuff...
  • breefoshee
    breefoshee Posts: 398 Member
    seltzermint wrote: »
    breefoshee wrote: »
    emdeesea wrote: »
    astrose00 wrote: »

    Whenever a man is being nice to me (outside of work or somebody I've hired to do work on my house, for example) I usually assume it's because they are interested in me. And I can TELL when they aren't. No courtesy at all. You are invisible or less than human. I have a lot of guy friends who have told me that this is true. I know there are no absolutes but a lot of men are pretty transparent in this way.

    I think this is why some guys get so upset with women and accuse us of flirting or 'leading them on' when in reality, we were just being polite because we do that for EVERYONE.

    I do think that some people were born and raised in a barn, though. And my own personal manners and courtesy are not contingent upon whether or not I think someone is attractive.

    Ughh yes! My best friend is super attractive.. Like Jennifer Aniston in her glory days, and she is one of the nicest people you would ever meet-- not being fake at all. And she is really kind to EVERYONE (male, female, young, old) and intelligent, but she's not interested in a relationship right now. Almost once a week, a guy asks her out and then blames her for leading him on, when she's just being nice instead of rude to him.

    I have seen this a lot too! Totally agree...my nephew for example is kind of the chivalrous "Southern manners" boy, now an ex-Marine in his twenties, and he's very polite & helpful to all women. Because of this he had trouble with some girls when he was a teenager thinking he needed to marry/date them because he was nice to them at church or something...and even now, unwanted attention from women everywhere he goes. Now I am SURE he doesn't mind being found attractive by women in general, but he has an adorable wife and isn't into every woman he speaks to or helps out w/ lifting something heavy. It is definitely a double edged sword, all of this stuff...

    It definitely makes me think twice about assuming a guy is interested just because he's nice to me. Last year, a really sweet thoughtful guy would come over and fix stuff at my house--without me even asking. I totally thought that he was interested buuut after an awkward conversation, I realized that he was just nice. From then on, I just decided to assume guys aren't interested unless they make that move.
  • emdeesea
    emdeesea Posts: 1,823 Member

    [/quote]

    It definitely makes me think twice about assuming a guy is interested just because he's nice to me. Last year, a really sweet thoughtful guy would come over and fix stuff at my house--without me even asking. I totally thought that he was interested buuut after an awkward conversation, I realized that he was just nice. From then on, I just decided to assume guys aren't interested unless they make that move. [/quote]

    I don't bother to wonder anymore. Or rather I just don't care. I figure the onus is on the interested party since my every action is going to be either misinterpreted or taken for being rude.

    I met a guy two summers ago at a group function. We chatted briefly (as I did with a LOT of people that day), and he asked me out. I told him I wasn't available because I had a steady, and he had the nerve to get upset and tell me that "I led him on" because I never told him I was seeing someone. BUT HE NEVER ASKED if I was seeing someone. And I had other guys tell me the same thing - that basically I should have known. So I guess the takeaway is that if you're a woman and a guy is talking to you, he is interested. Otherwise, they just ignore you.

    And guys say WE'RE the ones who accuse them of not reading our minds, lol.





  • mrsdavis1014
    mrsdavis1014 Posts: 15 Member
    Most people get treated with respect and they become more social because people want to know how they did it so that they can get on board. Most people just need ideas.
  • khilton89
    khilton89 Posts: 64
    Yes I definitely get a lot more attention from women than when I was 320 and fat. Honestly it's both annoying and awesome. But people who knew me before either think it's great for me or are jealous.
  • redhead_che
    redhead_che Posts: 292 Member
    I actually have the opposite experience I think. I currently weigh 30lbs more than I did when I personally felt more confident/sexy/happy. I'm still confident in my body even though it's not where I want it to be yet, but until very recently I thought I got hit on way more at this weight than I did 30lbs ago. I think I've just been at this weight for over 2 years now and thought this was my new normal, so I owned it and exuded more confidence than I did back then. And apparently guys find confidence attractive...

    Yesterday I had a talk with my cousin and she told me, "You're beautiful no matter what weight you are, but back when you weighed 130-140, you really had no idea how many guys stared at you and made comments about your beauty. I'm pretty sure you still don't know that." Just kind of reinforced the statements people have made above that people can admire your successes and "new looks" and not say anything.
  • mrsdavis1014
    mrsdavis1014 Posts: 15 Member
    Yea it does happy but that's y we try to support one another

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