Emotional backlash after weight loss

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  • ron2e
    ron2e Posts: 606
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    Haha at 36 years old I'm thinking I missed the hot people bus :) but I'm pretty used to rejection so that's ok.

    Don't you believe it, hot comes at all ages. And I'm sure you're as hot as your profile pic. One of the nice things I find about getting older is the number of hot women just keeps getting bigger and bigger :laugh:
  • lizardmuzic
    lizardmuzic Posts: 2 Member
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    ETA - also I feel very conspicuous these days, like everyone is watching me a bit and I'm finding that quite uncomfortable. I also feeli less safe walking through the city now, I've had unwanted attention twice in the last month which never happened before.
    [/quote]

    I've also been feeling this way, in fact, I searched "vulnerable" to see if anyone else feels this way. At first, I like the attention, but then I start feeling very exposed. This happened tonight...a lot of guys hit on me...and my reaction was to binge. Like I want to put back on the fat layer that protected me in some ways. I want to be fit and healthy, but I hate feeling vulnerable. Any suggestions?
  • moondawg14
    moondawg14 Posts: 249 Member
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    Everyone gets rejected. Even hot people. Learn to accept these things and move on. Learn to accept that people will be attracted to you. Feeling scared? Take a kickboxing class and learn to kick some *kitten*. Carry some pepperspray.

    Haha at 36 years old I'm thinking I missed the hot people bus :) but I'm pretty used to rejection so that's ok. Kickboxing could be fun though :-)

    let's just stop this one right here. Firstly, you didn't miss the "hot people" bus... you could be the bus driver. Just sayin.

    And I would suggest that maybe you've *always* been excluded, but that before, you didn't feel worthy enough to be included. Maybe now, you feel like you've "paid your dues" and should be included in things.

    Relationships (of all kinds) are work. If you want to be included, the first step is to include *yourself*... become NOT used to rejection. It might take a little courage, but when you hear people talking, just walk up and say "I overheard you talking about X, and that sounds really fun/interesting/whatever. Can I join in?"

    Once people become accustomed to YOU being included, you will be included. And learn to talk about things that are more interesting than weight loss! :^)
  • danglewtf
    danglewtf Posts: 29
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    It's kinda funny you say this...
    Maybe 6 months ago, before I started on my determination to get fit and lose weight, I hit something of a personal crisis. I'm in my early 40s, my hair is grey, I'm obese and I feel OLD.
    I figured I could keep plodding along and complaining about it, dyeing my hair and so on, or I could DO something. I started small. I signed up for World's Greatest Shave - ostensibly to raise money for the Lukaemia Foundation, but secretly because I felt that shaving my head to get rid of the regrowth was the best way to start redesigning myself.
    And OH boy did that put me out of my comfort zone! After having shoulder-length or longer hair for my whole life, being completely bald was both terrifying and exhilarating! I'd gone from hiding behind my hair when I wanted to avoid a situation to everyone staring at me, strangers talking to me, and generally being right out there in public.
    This triggered the rest, and now I'm on my way to losing weight publicly - I go and run in public, I do group fitness sessions, all the things I would NEVER have been seen doing for fear of people staring at my outrageous efforts.
    I guess what I want to say is YES I have felt exactly like that in a same-but-different way. I'm hoping that having lost my inhibitions with my hair will go a long way towards not copping the backlash when I hit my goal weight.

    Congratulations to you! Here's to working through the mental morass :-)

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