single ladies before weight loss

tifsimmons91

I wasn't sure where to write this post, but here it goes... I was wondering if dating became easier after losing weight? Did guys start noticing and approaching you more after you started losing weight? I ask because I honestly feel like it is so hard to find a decent guy being a bigger girl. I am very self confident but at the same time I still try to put myself out there and I was wondering if I lost all my weight if guys would notice me more... Please share your story if you have/had same experience.

NoelFigart1

Yes, as your body conforms to certain standards, you will be approached more. That's certain.

And that's a pretty multilayered issue, to be honest that I won't bother you with, as I don't think you're concerned with it right now. Yes, when you get thinner, you'll get more dates. Whether or not the guys are more decent, I have no damn idea. That's gonna have to be your call.

I will say I have never been slender, nor have I ever lacked for as much... romantic attention as I happened to want at any particular time until I got much older.

Adc7225

Well for me at the age of 46 thought that it wouldn't matter since I wasn't looking. I can say that I was in a relationship when I was 244 that ended suddenly with no reason after I lost about 35 lbs. since then I have seen the interest of men change as my weight has gone down. When I was about 170-165, nice curves and all but even though I was still trying to lose this seemed to be the time that I had the most inquiry and interest. At 150 the interest seemed to change from African American men to Caucasian and Asian men. I am now at 147 and I can't honestly say that I am happy with my body or that I elude the most confidence and just try to ignore them all. So I would offer that if you feel you can stand to lose some weight or to tone up some do it for yourself - doing it to attract men might not get you what you think it will of even what you want.

Because I am assuming you want someone to care about you as the best you that you can be.

madrose0715

Dating has not gotten any easier for me after a 90+ weight loss - but the issue is with me, not potential suitors. I am hyper selective, cynical and was suffering from a pretty significant heart break a year ago. Perhaps things will change this year. In other words, it is all about what you project.

kellycasey5

I have found the opposite. I attract more attention from men now then I did at 135 pounds, 145 pounds, even 150 pounds. More men started to approach me when my weight creeped up around 160 to present. I asked a male friend about this and he just simply said "every guy likes different things but you look really great with those curves". Gosh what a good friend lol! I was curvy at 135, but not like this. I also put on my weight pretty much EVERYWHERE evenly (an inch each arm, and inch each thigh, neck, bust, waist, etc. You might be able to look at my measurements but I gained 50 pounds so it added up to lots more of ME). As I am sure you know, how much you weigh has ZERO to do with how "decent" a man is.

walkonfire5

tifsimmons91 wrote: »

I wasn't sure wheryou. write this post, but here shas... I was wondering if dating became easier after losing weight? Did guys start noticing and approaching you more after you started losing weight? I ask because I honestly feel like it is so hard to find a decent guy being a bigger girl. I am very self confident but at the same time I still try to put myself out there and I was wondering if I lost all my weight if guys would notice me more... Please share your story if you have/had same experience.

You are one very beautiful lass. And be confident in your own skin and have some self belief. the right guy will come along and love you for you . Doesnt matter about size shape ect

GeorgieKay2013

100 % loosing weight will help you to get more attention from the male part.
On the dating scene man and women have different value. Men are judged by personality and women are judged by looks. It is called sexual market value.

Glossy hair- mean good health.
Slim figure- means youth
Big breast- mean fertility

These are just a few that comes on top of my head. Men are hard wired to look for this traits. It is evolution. We can't help it. If we see the right stuff a chemical is produced in the brain......

A man needs exactly 3 second when he sees a woman to decide if she is suitable for potential partner. Because he judge by looks. A woman need between 2-7 hours to make that same decision.

If you are not in good shape you lost the battle in the first 3 seconds.

Frequently_Fabulous

Yes and No. I've lost 100 lbs, so I feel I have some valid input here, lol.

When I lost the 1st 30 lbs I was feeling fantastic (even though I was still quite obese). It's the first time in my whole life I had lost weight and I felt a lot more confident and proud of myself. I was using an online dating website daily and went on a few dates from there (though nothing panned out). I met a guy for a mutual friend and we ended up dating for a few months. I was buying new clothes, going to the gym w my boyfriend, and feeling good.

I broke up w said bf when I moved locations and started back at school. I looked good, felt good, and was ready to meet some guys!!! Only- to the gentlemen at my school, I was still the "fat" friend. My confidence took a hit. I made out with some guys in my class while mutually drunk, only to be spurned while sober. Ouch. I managed to lose 30 more pounds, but still wasn't able to "date" anyone from my class. Several times, while going out to bars w my skinnier friends, I was the only one going home by myself at the end of the night. Angry? Bitter? You betcha.

Over summer break, I lost another 30 lbs. Coming back to class, it was like the doors to attractiveness had opened up. I got a lot of double takes and guys who had never bothered to talk to me, suddenly were trying to make conversation. A LOT of my classmates went out of their way to comment me on my weight loss (which I was pretty peeved about because the first 60 lbs didn't really seem to matter to them).

So. Is it easier to date? Yes and no. I do get a lot more attention from the "wrong" kind of guys. I get leered at by pretty much all guys that run the till behind the local gas station. Gentlemen at the gym talk loudly about my butt when they walk by. Girls in my class eye my outfits up and down when I walk into a room (while I was largely ignored when heavier).

I am confident that if I wanted to go home with someone for the night from a bar I probably would be able to. I've gone down that road a few times and it has largely been filled w disappointment (Let's just say I now understand the phrase, 'whiskey dick") However, seriously dating someone is a trickier prospect. I haven't tried to seriously date someone, but if I did, I would probably try the online dating route again. Trying to date at my school has turned out poorly.

My advice is that it gets easier, but it's largely about confidence. If you'd like to date, start now. Put up a profile, go on a few dates (at least five) and continue to work on your diet and exercise. You'll feel more confident w yourself and more practiced w dating (and heck, some of my best stories come from my dating tales of woe, so if nothing else, you'll have something to tell your friends!)

Teal4me

Personally love yourself first and you will shine to others! No matter what size you are.