We broke up because...

Mr_Dumas

Was always pointing a laser at me

synchkat

I asked for no cheese on my burger but he never ever listened

Mr_Dumas

She said I was too cheesy

synchkat

He claimed I cheated on him every time I went to McDonalds

Mr_Dumas

That stupid Big Mac with the extra bun making claims on my crush!

synchkat

I really liked the special sauce

Mr_Dumas

They can't handle my foam, and my frosty mug

JSurita3

Too much froth

GETU1N

Didn't get the memo

Becka4Real

Would only communicate via handwritten letter

tylahquartez323

She wasn't down to sway my vote

Becka4Real

He promised to get down, but I was the only one who followed through

slimgirljo15

She didn't swing my way

blu_de_ville

She swung the paddle too hard

RunTimer

she was too ticklish

Salty_Sauce

She wouldn't stop tickling

RunTimer

too salty

slimgirljo15

Awww do we have to...

michellemundi

He was caught wearing my underwear and dancing to Brittany spears

SojournerThirteen

You have issues with women named Brittany

Kittysacattack

He couldn't produce a nuclear reaction to generate the 1.21 gigawatts of electricity I needed to power my Flux Capacitor.... Hail the day !

slimgirljo15

He attacked my kitty

Kittysacattack

She said I was too rough with her kitty!

slimgirljo15

My kitty needed more stroking....he wasn't listening..

Kittysacattack

Her kitty didn't purrrrrrr !

slimgirljo15

Because you weren't stroking it right

Kittysacattack

Tonydevolanii wrote: »

he is 51 and rides a bicycle

Holy Crap! I'm 51.........And still ride my bike!!!

Wanderlust70

You forgot to bring a spare...

LiftingRiot

he refused to shower after laying around in mud

Kittysacattack

slimgirljo15 wrote: »

Because you weren't stroking it right

(Googling on "How to stroke a Kitty properly)