We broke up because...

GDLAZ

Discovered he was Jake from State Farm...

Nograce80

I didn't look good enough in khakis!

Bonny132

wanted me to wear khakis!!!

GDLAZ

She didn't like me singing the song about my tight pants...

RunTimer

forgot...I don't remember much after she hit me in the back of the head with a frying pan.

..wait..maybe that's it

Bonny132

He kept running away

JeffreyMGiron

i smelled too good

RunTimer

she drew an unflattering portrait of me

(caricature my @rse!)

Bonny132

was jealous my *kitten* looked better than his

Nograce80

She said her donkey was better than mine! Clarence is a good looking boy!

slimgirljo15

Loved her donkey more than me.

Nograce80

Didn't like that Clarence insisted on sleeping in my bed

slimgirljo15

No room for me in the bed..made me sleep on the floor

Bonny132

I never understood why she dumped me, I gave her a blow up mattress and everything???

JeffreyMGiron

i wasnt fun enough

slimgirljo15

He wouldn't kiss me

Bonny132

She needed to cut down on the garlic, I mean we were well safe from vampires.....

slimgirljo15

Said she loved me ..but let a little thing like garlic come between us

Bonny132

She stole the chocolate vodka..... I found the empty bottles How could you without me? Garlic put aside!!

RunTimer

she couldn't get the order right

1. Lick
2. Suck
3. Swallow

JSurita3

Always dishing out orders.

MzIrish

never wanted to leave the house.. always flexing in front of the mirror

RunTimer

she tried to get between me and my true love...me

JSurita3

Ego-testicle

JeffreyMGiron

liked to go dancing way to much

RunTimer

JSurita3 wrote: »

Ego-testicle

EXCELLENT! (I shot my drink through my nose reading this!


@JeffreyMG : couldn't compete with his goatee (nice manscaping, there!)

slimgirljo15

Ewww always snorting crud out his nose..where it would hang on his beard ..

marcelo_templario

Got me exhausted and with low zinc...

JSurita3

He broke me.

slimgirljo15

She was broken..who knew you could break those bits