We broke up because...
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Discovered he was Jake from State Farm...0
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I didn't look good enough in khakis!0
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wanted me to wear khakis!!!0
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She didn't like me singing the song about my tight pants...0
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forgot...I don't remember much after she hit me in the back of the head with a frying pan.
..wait..maybe that's it0 -
He kept running away0
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i smelled too good0
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was jealous my *kitten* looked better than his0
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She said her donkey was better than mine! Clarence is a good looking boy!0
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Loved her donkey more than me.0
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Didn't like that Clarence insisted on sleeping in my bed0
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No room for me in the bed..made me sleep on the floor0
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I never understood why she dumped me, I gave her a blow up mattress and everything???0
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i wasnt fun enough0
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He wouldn't kiss me
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She needed to cut down on the garlic, I mean we were well safe from vampires.....0
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Said she loved me ..but let a little thing like garlic come between us
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She stole the chocolate vodka..... I found the empty bottles
How could you without me? Garlic put aside!! 0 -
she couldn't get the order right
- Lick
- Suck
- Swallow

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Always dishing out orders.0
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never wanted to leave the house.. always flexing in front of the mirror0
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she tried to get between me and my true love...me0
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Ego-testicle 0 -
liked to go dancing way to much0
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Ego-testicle
EXCELLENT! (I shot my drink through my nose reading this!
@JeffreyMG : couldn't compete with his goatee (nice manscaping, there!)0 -
Ewww always snorting crud out his nose..where it would hang on his beard ..
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Got me exhausted and with low zinc...0
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He broke me.
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She was broken..who knew you could break those bits
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