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We broke up because...
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She modeled her dresses for everyone one me
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He didn't like my "special" modelling0
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She wouldn't taste my special sauce 0
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I longed for two all beef patties0
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She stopped letting me handle her buns0
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He needed to install a handlebar in the bathroom. He got a little too old for me.0
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she finally found her glasses0
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She had to buy a Squatty Potty because she was full of *kitten*0
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He was just too squat in all the wrong places.0
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she could squat more than me.0
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Always squatting never standing.0
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She stood me up0
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he ripped my dress when he tried wearing it0
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She was more ripped than I was. I was jealous.0
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got mad when I tried to paint abs on her0
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I told her wall paint isn't meant to be put on a body but she still painted me at night0
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Couldn't get over the paint smell0
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he was a bit stone faced0
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Bc I hate Frozen0
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She just wouldn't let it go0
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Always using one-liners from Disney songs in every argument0
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Acted like the Brut Gaston!0
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Always losing things0
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he didn't want to build a snowman0
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She wanted a snowman, but there was no snow!0
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she was cold to the touch0
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I may as well have been with a blow up doll.0
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He was a blow up doll
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he was a paradox0
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She bought the wrong dress0
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