We broke up because...
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Didn't like my cooking.0
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His cooking was a Happy Meal0
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Wouldn't cook me duck0
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I couldn't kill our pet0
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Liked to kill cats then freeze the heads to eat like apples.0
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Had dark thoughts in his head!
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She donated her hair to charity. I started dating charity.0
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was too mysterious...
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Started selling "herb"0
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Called me a Pothead and turned me in to the DEA!0
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He said I was ugleeeeee
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He ate too much... Of me!0
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Was obsessed with eating.0
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for the make up sex0
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Caught him wearing makeup and kissing the mailman.0
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Was the mailman....kissed everybody0
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She tried tampering with the mail. A federal crime!0
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Kept ratting me out for things I'd do.0
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Was a rat0
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She constantly wanted to lick my toes0
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His toes were full of fungus. But he wasn't a fun guy.0
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weird toe fetish0
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Had so many fetishes I lost track
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Kept track of my every move0
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Had logs and journals of fetishes and likes...dislikes...plans for odd Contraptions0
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Didn't appreciate my organizational skills0
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Was uber ocd0
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Thought being an Uber driver was a great career goal.0
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She said i was too poor to support her lifestyle!0
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Broke..0
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