We broke up because...

Wonderwomanvik

She was fishy

Kvm11628

I couldn't follow his coffee order. Skinny grande no whip soy vanilla latte. Really?

Kvm11628

Reminded me of my flaws

Wonderwomanvik

Reminded me of my mom

FabulousFantasticFifty

Called me her Old Lady!

Wonderwomanvik

She only had antique furniture which I could never use

FabulousFantasticFifty

"Tis True!

Pawned my Antiques to buy a Prius!

200pax

Too hot to handle

Wonderwomanvik

Too cold to hold

Gordon_L

She drove my car into the surf

Wonderwomanvik

He told me his car was a surf wagon. How was I supposed to know it didn't go into the surf

Gordon_L

She wouldn't stop kissing me in public

Wonderwomanvik

Who doesn't kiss in public... But he wouldn't kiss me in private either...

piggysmalls333

She said I was too clingy and felt uncomfortable when I stalked her even while running errands. Just wanted to love her!! (Holding onto her ankle).

Gordon_L

Now that's just not true - there was a LOT of kissing as I recall...

Wonderwomanvik

He didn't enjoy fish tacos

Gordon_L

She kept feeding me fish tacos

Wonderwomanvik

He claimed I was faking

Gordon_L

Her emotional outbursts during our lovemaking made me ___ to quickly

g44219

always blamed others

Wonderwomanvik

He was jealous of my harem

g44219

she kicked me out of the harem

47Jacqueline

He didn't fit in

slimgirljo15

Spanked me so hard she left bruises

Kvm11628

She bruised my ego

_fitness4life_

She didn't believe me when I said she was beautiful.

Wonderwomanvik

She was too sweet

RunHardBeStrong

The only sweetness she showed was to the neighbor's pool boy

nitroalley

Didn't share her sweetness.

_fitness4life_

Didn't like that I greeted him at the door wearing nothing but strategically placed whip cream. Go figure.