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We broke up because...
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She was fishy0
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I couldn't follow his coffee order. Skinny grande no whip soy vanilla latte. Really?0
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Reminded me of my flaws0
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Reminded me of my mom0
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Called me her Old Lady!0
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She only had antique furniture which I could never use0
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"Tis True!
Pawned my Antiques to buy a Prius!0 -
Too hot to handle0
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Too cold to hold0
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She drove my car into the surf0
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He told me his car was a surf wagon. How was I supposed to know it didn't go into the surf0
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She wouldn't stop kissing me in public0
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Who doesn't kiss in public... But he wouldn't kiss me in private either...0
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She said I was too clingy and felt uncomfortable when I stalked her even while running errands. Just wanted to love her!! (Holding onto her ankle).0
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Now that's just not true - there was a LOT of kissing as I recall...0
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He didn't enjoy fish tacos0
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She kept feeding me fish tacos0
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He claimed I was faking0
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Her emotional outbursts during our lovemaking made me ___ to quickly0
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always blamed others0
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He was jealous of my harem0
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she kicked me out of the harem0
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He didn't fit in0
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Spanked me so hard she left bruises
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She bruised my ego0
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She didn't believe me when I said she was beautiful.0
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She was too sweet0
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The only sweetness she showed was to the neighbor's pool boy0
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Didn't share her sweetness.0
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Didn't like that I greeted him at the door wearing nothing but strategically placed whip cream. Go figure.0
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