We broke up because...
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She tried to compensate me for sexy time. Weird0
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was too expensive0
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Too cheap. I kept telling him quality doesn't come for free0
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Spent all my money0
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I found out he was paying for Nookie somewhere else!0
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Wouldn't give me enough Nookie0
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Called it nookie
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Learned it from her0
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Liked a cookie after nookie. I was always baking0
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She was half baked0
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Flushed my weed down the toilet!
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She was high as a kite all the time0
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She cut my kite string in the competition!0
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Always playing games0
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Too serious didn't like to play0
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She wouldn't let me win any games.0
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Insisted that I be Proper and Stoic at all times!0
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Kept dropping hints that she didn't like me. Like throwing my stuff out the window and setting my car on fire.0
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He was confused! That was his Mother trying to get him to move out!0
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She got Grounded for a year by her Mom!0
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She was treated like a baby0
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She put Jack Daniels in baby bottles.0
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He wouldn't let me drink anything but Jack Daniels0
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She was to good for me0
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Apparently she wasnt good enough!0
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She had enough0
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I was never enough0
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