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We broke up because...
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She got mad when I dropped my chocolate in her peanut butter
"No, you dropped your peanut butter in my chocolate!"0 -
Kept "forgetting" I am allergic to peanuts....0
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Her lisp drove me nuts..she kept call my privates her peanuts0
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Kept using peanut flavoured lube... My lips put Mick Jagger to shame.0
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His peanuts were not impressive0
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accidentally confused krazy glue with lip stick..
after the surgery I was unable to satisfy her0 -
You'd never take the medal off when we were making sweet love.0
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her gingerbread cookies were not as good as my last girlfriend's. Blame the gluten-free flour, gurl -- not me.0
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He wouldn't take me out. I think he was embarrassed0
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Fed me gluten, could not handle the side effects0
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Loved to do twinning at least 5 days a week0
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Wasn't a rug muncher0
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She knew I preferred no carpeting0
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He was too high maintenance0
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She would constantly miss leg day.0
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He only focused on my legs0
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Wouldn't massage my booty daily.0
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thought I couldn't "handle" him lolllll
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