We broke up because...
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Her high maintenance inevitably did not match my low testosterone...0
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He wanted to watch Soaps rather than help me build our home0
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He did not want to get pregnant in order to satisfy my morning sickness fetish...0
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He was slowly poisoning me just to watch me hurl!0
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She found out I hated Poison, the band, but LOVE Poison, the song.0
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Kept buying me this because he thought it would help him someday collect on my Life Insurance
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She smelled like poison0
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She kept taking pictures in my underpants.0
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He huffed and puffed and blew my house down...0
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He didn't return my calls or texts.0
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sarcasm through the roof. couldn't take it. she broke me0
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He thought I was a trophy -- you know, the kind hunters hang on the wall.0
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He always gave me that look0
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shoe shopping....she couldn't stop...i was going broke0
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He was always jealous because I didn't need his money.0
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She preferred not living in a van down by the river...0
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He kept stealing my jackets and hiding them. Said it reminded him of a fat guy in a little coat.1
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She always one-upped me when referencing the 90's...0
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His favorite decade was the 80's.. Mine the 90's. It just didn't work.0
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She was too old for me0
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He grew tired of me always referring to myself in the 3rd person...0
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She didn't like my belly button fetish.0
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i farted and she 5 finger death punched me0
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Communication problems - he only spoke in parables and I only spoke in the form of Haiku...0
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His wife and both girlfriends hated me
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She didn't like my organic cooking0
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True story ^^
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Couldn't handle her drinking
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Couldn't handle his life risking racing0
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