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We broke up because...
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I couldn't figure them out0
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He tried to eat my dog
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She was too attached to her dinn... err.... I mean, to her dog.1
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I opened our closet and out fell 3 neighbours, the dentist and the newspaper boy
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She didn’t understand that I’m a collector. 😏0
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I found by collector she meant scalps and teeth 1
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She went on vacations without me.0
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She wouldn't dye her hair blond for me0
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Wanted me to bleach my hair
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Wasn't spontaneous enough for me0
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Her hips lied0
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He never listened to me, always reading my body language instead. Made ordering diner very difficult0
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She never wanted any help, and all she wanted to do is Lay around on the beach all day0
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He hated the beach! Life is a beach!!0
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All she did was sit around0
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She popped all my bubble wrap0
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He always left the toilet paper roll empty0
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She never lined up the towels correctly by length0
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Walked out while he was explaining his “towel system” but not before knocking them all to the floor1
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She didn't like me whipping her with my wet towel after I got out of the shower0
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His horseplay was to rough0
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She wasn't into experimenting0
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His last experiment blew up the house0
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She didn't get homeowners insurance like I told her to. Now we're living in our camper.1
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His last dutch oven was lethal.. I died 💀0
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She insisted on wearing a gas mask to bed, it was like sleeping with Darth Vador.0
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😂 literally LOL’ed at my desk! My office is too quiet!!!slimgirljo15 wrote: »His last dutch oven was lethal.. I died 💀
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She said I wasn't romantic but whenever I said "I love ya", she heard her name 'Olivia' instead.0
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They were always obsessed over Olivia their ex. I’m over that 💩0
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Pooped everywhere.. 0
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