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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
    Because he learned to massage from his pretty yoga instructor ex girlfriend...
  • Justn_83
    Justn_83 Posts: 492 Member
    Because she was always dogging me about my ex girlfriends
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Not sure they were all still considered ex’s.
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
    Couldn't decide on a wedding theme. I want a summer theme!
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    And my black and white motif lends well to winter. Sorry love, not meant to be.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    Wanted our entire house to be black & white! I could have lived with that...but making me change my red lipstick to black was asking too much!

    💋 Adios!!
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Refused to sign anything except to place a red kiss mark on it. Birthday cards to mom, credit card purchases, our mortgage!! 😳
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    Tried to get me to sign a contract giving her full ownership over me.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Required we sleep nose to nose together every night. Her favourite bedtime snack was Caesar salad. 🧄 💨 🤢
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    PD sent a warning note :o
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    She sneaks behind my back 🤯
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,456 Member
    lx1x wrote: »
    She sneaks behind my back 🤯

    Never splitting up.. got it.. now gimme the remote :D
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    Her place was too remote. I tried escaping in three different directions. Nothing for miles and miles. Had to go back.
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
    Didn't appreciate my adoration for being in the middle of no where, and my love for electric fences
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
    She was all or nothing. Fence was set to "maim"
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    She uses electric prod for kinky.. oh NVM..
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,577 Member
    Didn’t enjoy the zaps he got as much as I enjoyed giving them.
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    🤯

    Zap? It's like making another Frankenstein.. yells...it's alive...
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    edited May 2020
    Wouldn't it be romantic to leave your legacy thoughts behind for others. I read the obits in my small newspaper. The kids always, always write the same things about their parents. He or she married the love of their life and they lived happily ever after. Their memory is hazy. ;)

    Wouldn't it be fun if your dear mother named the ones who got away. ;) That would give the rest of us a big horse-face laugh instead of slogging through the clubs they belonged to. Think it over.

    I cast my bait into the sharky waters and was actually catching fish by the tails. So anyone thinking I'm some homebody pansy, think again. I've had many adventures in the great outdoors and when things are dull I do think about the ones who got away. I focus on quality over quantity. Legacy thoughts for a Memorial Day waaaay into the future. <3<3<3



  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    She talks too much... Out of blue .. just starts mumbling.
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
    He doesn't appreciate my stories, I'm deep.
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    wanted us to exchange toothbrushes on weekends
  • Diatonic12
    Diatonic12 Posts: 32,344 Member
    He was dull as dirt without an original thought in his head. Spent endless time wanting everyone to notice as he continued to swim in the shallow waters.
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
    She didn't like women 😞
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    She has too many bf.. it's like a commune.
  • riffwalkdale
    riffwalkdale Posts: 241 Member
    All of a sudden he didn't like my other boyfriends, even though he helped me kidnap... Er find them.
  • lx1x
    lx1x Posts: 38,330 Member
    She likes to tell story.. even lies about me being a conspirator.
  • Justn_83
    Justn_83 Posts: 492 Member
    Wrong type of plumbing
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,857 Member
    Wrong type of plumbing 🤷‍♀️
  • happimess01
    happimess01 Posts: 9,074 Member
    she wasnt ok putting some plastic in her plumbing

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