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We broke up because...

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Replies

  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    I used to collect turtles. I had a water tank with baby turtles in them. They were fun to watch.

    She kept on stealing my turtles.
  • MzIrish
    MzIrish Posts: 11,917 Member
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    he had too many turtles ... wanted them in bed with him :s
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    She wasn't open to trying new things in bed
  • Nitroalley2
    Nitroalley2 Posts: 3,419 Member
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    She was like a snapping turtle. :o
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    He liked light beer only, and only had a 6 pack around each week.
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    He just wouldn't accept that we were meant to be together.. always calling me a stalker :D
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    She kept breaking out the strap-on and sometimes I wanted to drive
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    She kept checking my cell phone calls and making accusations!
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    Well.. it was pretty obvious. The pics of his mom's boobs were right there in front of me on his phone!
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    They weren't my mom's they were your mom's. lol
  • RunHardBeStrong
    RunHardBeStrong Posts: 33,069 Member
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    lol

    He said my mom had better boobs than me
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    I slept with her mom and she got jeolous!!
  • littlewolf3785
    littlewolf3785 Posts: 2,592 Member
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    He had mom issues!
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    She wouldn't spank me.
  • littlewolf3785
    littlewolf3785 Posts: 2,592 Member
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    Giggle.. he didn't like my version of spanking
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    She would whip me with the wrong part of the belt and it left buckle marks on my *kitten* for weeks!
  • littlewolf3785
    littlewolf3785 Posts: 2,592 Member
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    My bad, I did try to kiss it. He said no.
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    She bit my butt then slapped it and called it a fine piece of meat. Made me feel like a sex object.
  • littlewolf3785
    littlewolf3785 Posts: 2,592 Member
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    My bad again, I thought we were still role playing... ;)
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    She twisted my nipple so hard it left a hickey mark!!

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