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We broke up because...

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  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
    edited July 2017
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    He was so bad I pretended to be dead..praying it was over with sooner..then I found out he was a necrophiliac..wanted me to play dead all the time
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
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    She told everyone at my grandma's funeral that she could see granny's nipples through her burial gown
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    WantonHeartTroubledHead wrote: »
    She told everyone at my grandma's funeral that she could see granny's nipples through her burial gown

    He was very very close to granny..
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
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    She cost me a lot of money hiring a personal strainer. Someone to get all the hard bits out of her food as she lost her teeth at her age
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    I drew the line at changing his depends
  • WantonHeartTroubledHead
    WantonHeartTroubledHead Posts: 877 Member
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    I took her to a hardcore show and after she screamed, "Where is the hardcore porn?" I explained Agnostic Front was playing
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    He wanted me to listen to his fave musician
    Chad Morgan..couldn't do it
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
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    The sexy time was so awesome, i forgave her the first time she screamed "Chad Morgan..." but when she wouldn't stop, had to let her go.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
    edited July 2017
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    wrestle me all the time
  • liftorgohome
    liftorgohome Posts: 25,455 Member
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    She never wanted to have sex
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    tjkita wrote: »
    She never wanted to have sex

    He only wanted missionary :(
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
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    We were WILD, doing it everyway possible, but when she started asking me to position myself two blocks down the street and call before I came back... I suspected something was wrong.
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    :o I was getting ready for you :*
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
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    She was always asking me to get a running - start! :smiley:
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,452 Member
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    SuperStampede wrote: »
    She was always asking me to get a running - start! :smiley:

    :laugh: broke our bed with his superman leaps ..
  • striderb
    striderb Posts: 5,843 Member
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    slimgirljo15 wrote: »
    SuperStampede wrote: »
    She was always asking me to get a running - start! :smiley:

    :laugh: broke our bed with his superman leaps ..

    Always closed her legs in mid flight - what a tease.
  • SuperStampede
    SuperStampede Posts: 1,662 Member
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    Broke our bed tying me up with her Wonder Woman lasso... made me tell the truth... I Liked it!!
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
    edited July 2017
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    He was again calling someone else "Wonder Woman" :astonished:
  • Bonny132
    Bonny132 Posts: 3,617 Member
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    Kept calling me wonder man, I suspected it referred to our new hunky neighbor who kept popping over to borrow a cup of sugar.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,832 Member
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    She broke my Lasso that time she tried to wear my uniform

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