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We broke up because...

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  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    Said fabulous too much. You fell? Fabulous. Broke your leg? Fabulous. That car’s gonna run you over? Fabulous.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Used Starbucks lingo everywhere we went. Gas station? Shes have a venti fillup. Liquor store? Grandi size fireball. Taco Bell? One venti chalupa please, extra cheese, no whip
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    Spent all his time in McDonald’s drive thru.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Purposefully said "Mc" in front of everything, just to annoy me. "Hey. lets watch McTV tonight. Law and McOrder is on. Can you turn off the Mclamp? Grrrrrr
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    Was always borrowing my clothes.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Looked better in purple corduroy than I did
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    Wanted me to dress in rubber from head to toe with just a hole cut out over the mouth to breathe.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Always whining about needing air
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    Always wanted me to braid his hair for him.
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    She lost her keys that caused a hairy situation.
  • FabulousFantasticFifty
    FabulousFantasticFifty Posts: 195,833 Member
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    She thought I was too hairy and wanted me to get waxed...ouch! 😬
  • IWILLLOSE40kg2020
    IWILLLOSE40kg2020 Posts: 298 Member
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    She said she'd rather someone hairier
  • mattig89ch
    mattig89ch Posts: 2,648 Member
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    She said I wasn't hairy enough
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Have you ever tried cleaning 3 inch long chest hairs from the shower drain?
  • slimgirljo15
    slimgirljo15 Posts: 269,440 Member
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    Complained about my chest hair 😔
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    She had an extra appendage that just wasn’t for me.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Said she wanted a man with only 4 toes on each foot.
  • PaperDoll_
    PaperDoll_ Posts: 32,845 Member
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    Had way too many eyes. Eyes were just sprouting out of him everywhere.
  • Callousedthoughts
    Callousedthoughts Posts: 2,090 Member
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    Hated the way my feet watched her while she slept
  • Cat0703a
    Cat0703a Posts: 17,421 Member
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    Named each of his toes and made me say good night to each of them individually. I once mixed up Billy and Joe and there were more dramatics than an Oscar award speech

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