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We broke up because...
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I found out that she and her Lover @NVintage set me up for Murdering NVintage's Ex.
I guess they killed two birds with one stone. 🙁0 -
She’d walk around the house flapping her wings because she thinks she’s a flamingo 🦩👀
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She's just jealous that I won world record for standing on one leg for 83 hours. 🤷🏼♀️0
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She made me stand behind her for 83 hours in case she fell. No food, no potty breaks, nothing!1
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Couldn't hold 83 hours for potty break.. weak kidneys0
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Was always sharing my Medical history with Strangers 🙁0
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She always acted like she was part of the cast in a telenovela. She would randomly yell out “No, no, no!” and “Ay Dios Mío!”
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She confused our life together with the Sitcom 'Friends'. Kept calling me Monica and asking when Joey and Chandler were coming over.0
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She thought we were sisters from Full House. I was Michelle and she was Stephanie. I got tired of her calling police to report DJ missing.0
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Because she said her pet goldfish came first in everything she did. I had to take the backseat in second place to a goldfish from Walmart0
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He was a Snob and put me down for shopping at Wally World! He says that the only department store he'll step foot in is 'Tärɡət.
I didn't have the heart to tell him it was pronounced Tar-get!0 -
She wore her pajamas into Target. I was mortified! Apparently she didn’t realize we dress up for Tärɡət.1
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Rolled her eyes at me one too many times 😑0
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Called me by the wrong name…repeatedly0
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Wanted me to go blonde as well0
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When we went to the home makeover show I thought he meant it was for our house, but that’s where he met his second wife. Yeah, he got me a sister-wife!😤0
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I loved her unconditionally and she loved me coz of my big house 😉0
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He surprised me with his big house! He’d found some empty fridge boxes behind Costco, duct taped them together and voila! Home sweet home!😦 📦1
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Dump me for a torso.. 😱1
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He kept saying his mothers cooking was better.0
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