We broke up because...

FabulousFantasticFifty

She would never be my "Partner in Crime" 😞

PaperDoll_

I always had to bail her out of jail.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She dumped me when I brought up Conjugal visits 🤷‍♀️

FabulousFantasticFifty

.

Ironwoman1111

She would put mustard on her fries and rub it in with her hand

FabulousFantasticFifty

She wouldn't let me use her fancy Silverware, said it was for Company only. 😟

Onerom1

She wanted to cuddle with the pet chicken instead of me 😆

FabulousFantasticFifty

He killed my pet chicken and used her feathers to make me a pillow. 😥

Onerom1

Because she got angry when I made grilled chicken for dinner

FabulousFantasticFifty

He Never remembers that I'm Vegetarian 🙄

PaperDoll_

Claimed to be a vegetarian but my hamburgers always seemed to disappear when she was around. 🤨

NVintage

called me a Hamburglar and left in the middle of the night....

Onerom1

Alway wanted to slap box me to see who would pay for the night out.. and I always lost 😞

FabulousFantasticFifty

He was kinda Wimpy 🤦🏼‍♀️🤷🏼‍♀️

Ironwoman1111

She insisted we work out to 80s exercise videos on VHS. Then she refused to use our 1Lb weights or even lift pencils! It was too much to lift so she lifted air.

FabulousFantasticFifty

She'd share my most embarrassing photos with everyone on her dating site. 😧

Cat0703a

She was on dating sites while we were together; always on the look out for something better 😒

NVintage

I followed her to the dating site, and she thought it was funny to keep filtering her picture every day until there was nothing left of her!

FabulousFantasticFifty

Her Ex mysteriously disappeared and the Police suspect Foul Play. 😰

cmsienk

She was arrested by the police for 'disappearing' an old frame's ex.