We broke up because...
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She would never be my "Partner in Crime" ๐0
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I always had to bail her out of jail.0
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She dumped me when I brought up Conjugal visits ๐คทโโ๏ธ0
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She would put mustard on her fries and rub it in with her hand0
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She wouldn't let me use her fancy Silverware, said it was for Company only. ๐0
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She wanted to cuddle with the pet chicken instead of me ๐0
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He killed my pet chicken and used her feathers to make me a pillow. ๐ฅ0
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Because she got angry when I made grilled chicken for dinner0
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He Never remembers that I'm Vegetarian ๐0
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Claimed to be a vegetarian but my hamburgers always seemed to disappear when she was around. ๐คจ1
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called me a Hamburglar and left in the middle of the night....0
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Alway wanted to slap box me to see who would pay for the night out.. and I always lost ๐0
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He was kinda Wimpy ๐คฆ๐ผโโ๏ธ๐คท๐ผโโ๏ธ0
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She insisted we work out to 80s exercise videos on VHS. Then she refused to use our 1Lb weights or even lift pencils! It was too much to lift so she lifted air.
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She'd share my most embarrassing photos with everyone on her dating site. ๐ง0
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She was on dating sites while we were together; always on the look out for something better ๐0
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I followed her to the dating site, and she thought it was funny to keep filtering her picture every day until there was nothing left of her!0
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Her Ex mysteriously disappeared and the Police suspect Foul Play. ๐ฐ0
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She was arrested by the police for 'disappearing' an old frame's ex.0
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