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We broke up because...
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He drank all of my sparkling lemonade.0
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It was good too... 'Cept for the vodka in it... She couldn't tolerate my no alcohol lifestyle0
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He ate the last rolo without sharing any of them
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She pimped me out for 6 pkts of rolo's
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You're in a rut0
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She said the Caddy Shack gofer looked too fake0
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He snored and couldn't finish.0
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Was all about the finish, but never cared about the race.0
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Because it was all about the hunt for him.0
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Because he wouldn't eat turkey bacon.0
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She would never let me eat real bacon!0
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She always ate all of the bacon and didn't leave any for me!0
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She called me a Hog and a cannibal
(Hogs cant eat bacon!)0 -
All the people eating thing0
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He accused me of hiding his drum sticks.0
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She said my legs looked like drumsticks!0
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Always took 2 hours to get ready to go somewhere0
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Because he couldn't stop playing those DANG cowbells! Night and day cowbells! Cowbells in the morning, cowbells in the evening; cowbells, cowbells, cowbells. My God I can still hear them they are deafening, their insistent banging. MAKE IT STOP!!!0
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He had to be committed due to his obsession with murdering cows!0
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Geez wiz you kill one cow and suddenly every one wants to label you a cow killer. If you saw the threatening look in its eye's you too would have feared for your life!0
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He destroyed every single one of my leather and suede shoes and belts!0
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Because even though her warm enchanting smile could quell all the rage in my soul and her eyes were mesmerizing and intoxicating; I made it clear I couldn't stay, for no harbor was my home, because my life, my lover, my lady, was the sea.
At last, this was to much, for she would share my heart with no one, let alone the lady of the sea.0 -
He jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge to be with his Love!0
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She wanted an "ugly" guy
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Every time he held me I'd end up with a broken rib! 0
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She was too fragile0
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He didn't like hot pink0
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Always hitting on my dad0
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I found out I like older men0
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she couldn't speak cherokee0
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