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We broke up because...
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Wouldn't let me wear the hat!0
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two words..dancing pecs0
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Two words: Selfie nude-pix.0
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He was jealous of my super fly Ninja skills.0
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She wouldn't teach me ninja skills0
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She wouldn't show me what was under the hat.0
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She was always worried about what I was wearing.0
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He was always naked!0
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She didn't wouldn't let me be naked in my own house0
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I didn't mind her being naked and her house but my grandpa has a heart condition and she wouldn't get dressed even when he came over!0
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Her grandpa wanted me too...0
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He had a thing for old people and I just didn't have enough wrinkles0
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She didn't have enough wrinkles0
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He liked touching random people's wrinkles0
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Wouldn't let me look into her eyes.0
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Was always dissecting my every move0
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He liked to dissect random things0
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Tied me to the bed, I thought she was kinky. Then she brought out those tools, turned out she wanted to dissect me.0
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caught her in bed dissecting some dude !0
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caught him bed dissecting some dude with his guitar.0
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