We broke up because...

Timshel_

Wanted all the doorways wider to fit through while flexing.

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beckyml1980

You stole my books but didn’t read them.

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beckyml1980

You thought a lumberjack could beat a dinosaur.

Spnneil06

Believed she had a pet dinosaur I didn't have the heart to tell her it was a poodle.

beckyml1980

we broke up because you were going to couple’s therapy with your ex-girlfriend while we were together.

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Spnneil06

He wouldn't stop stealing my tank tops!

beckyml1980

thought calling me “fatty” was a delightful nick-name

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LiftingRiot

She didn't like my pet names for her. Insisted on being called princess

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determined_ella

he broke my bed and called me a he!

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beckyml1980

He had a dolphin tattoo on his shoulder.

Dared2Evolve

She pulled my hair too hard.

Spnneil06

She didn't like it rough!

Dared2Evolve

I did, she wouldn't respect our safe word.

Spnneil06

Our safe word was "more" what were we thinking, I got confused!

Dared2Evolve

lol .. I fell off the bed and saw a sub under it!

determined_ella

she wanted more than I had but I have more now

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Dared2Evolve

Pretended to be CG

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determined_ella

he loved pokemon more than me

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Spnneil06

Jealous of my hobbies...so I like to go to the strip clubs and make it rain, how else do you expect me to unwind?

FabulousFantasticFifty

I found out about her extra curricular activities!

determined_ella

she wouldn't take me with her @Spnneil06‌
@fabulousfantasticfifty she labeled everything so I couldn't sneak away with it ;p