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We broke up because...
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I could not keep up with you
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I think he pretended he couldn't keep up with me because he was embarrassed!0
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She couldn't... keep up.0
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Alas. It just wasn't meant to be0
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I'm not sure who he is anymore0
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I thought we were going to have a threesome, but they "forgot" to invite me.0
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I slept with her brother0
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She adamant about a threesome. I am a one woman guy0
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Kept slathering himself in syrup despite my multiple complaints!0
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Forgot to clean up the syrup in our bed.0
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Kept stringing him along0
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She had a wife :-(
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I already had enough children! ;p0
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.0
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She didn't want my children too, refused to even talk to them.0
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Because I am not into girls
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She thought I was a guy...it was awkward.0
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She forgot to shave alot of the time and looked a little like Jesus!
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Used to love my whiskers on her, but changed her mind and didn't tell me. I only grew the beard to please her.0
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She really just wanted to blame me for the look she really wants to keep!0
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She said I could only eat tacos on Tuesdays.0
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She thought every day was tuesday, i grew tired of tacos, every once in a while I would like a burrito!0
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She complained about everything, tacos and burritos this and that. I couldn't take it anymore.0
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He hated Mexican Food!0
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She thought I didn't like her cooking, I was just afraid to gain weight because I was obsessed with it.0
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To market his new fitness book he made us follow the guidelines 100% as he documented it with selfies. He wrote the book with no research. It was called the Koolaid Cleanse. I gained 8 pounds.0
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She was Jonesing too much for the Fellas!0
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