We broke up because...

BaconBae

thought sharing was caring

vadersaysno

was stingy

BaconBae

he always said no when i wanted to get frisky

LiftingRiot

She only wanted to get frisky at church. So i said no all the time.

Becka4Real

I said no, he said no, it was inevitable...

MikeCrazy

She never took those sunglasses off, even in the shower.

Diondk

He stole a baby

RachaelBrook929

He wouldn't have my baby

taco_inspector

Asked me to have her baby, but I declined since she couldn't provide accurate nutrient or even macro-nutrient data for it; after all, I have my figure to watch. So she left me after calling me names.

pettychia

I gave him a second shot but he still uses big words!

MikeCrazy

She kept trying to pick me up.

BaconBae

he was crazy

MikeCrazy

She ate my lunch.

BaconBae

always wanted me to pack his lunch

kjm3579

Would never cook for me

ashleyfowler110

He was always taking selfies, even while driving
I NEED ATTENTION!

no_pink_skirts

Was always saying I didn't pay her enough attention...or something like that.idk. wasn't really paying attenetion.

literallykeri

smiled too much

no_pink_skirts

Was unhappy with our life together. Never smiled.

Unknown

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MikeCrazy

Grammar nazi...

Noelv1976

always stood above me as if he was a god!

no_pink_skirts

tried to drown me in that lake

SwedishSarah

hated it when I wore a pink skirt

Noelv1976

Left her used tampons all over the house

no_pink_skirts

was a contrarian. disagreed with EVERYTHING I said.

Unknown

This content has been removed.

monstalosta

Only liked wearing bunny ears

PewterSky

Was not sure if he was Wolverine or Superman, this confusion led to many costume disasters at the time of Halloween

no_pink_skirts

hated Halloween...and since it's my fave holiday, SHE HAD TO GO